Angie - Wow, they called it Psycho 101? That sounds WAY more fun. Funny how the same courses get called different things. When I went to college Organic Chemistry was called O-Chem, and then at my sister's college it was called Orgo. One sounds like a rap star and the other a Japanese monster...

And I agree with your point and I think we should ALWAYS be kind and respectful, even when we think improvements might be possible. Shoot, kind and respectful is something everyone should strive to be, whenever!

IK I am with you all the way. I can also empathize with all the reasons people have mentioned about why they may hesitate to give a critical comment.
One more thing. I think that not enough critical comments devalues the positive. If you get a mixture of positive/negative most of the time and then one outfit suddenly pulls all positive comments, it feel special. But if you always get positives, you might start wondering if they really mean it.

I am totally up for criticism myself, btw. And with the encouragement you have given I may give a bit more!

Also IK, just wanted to say thanks for starting some absolutely interesting threads of late. I have posted even less than usual, owing to mostly being on a phone which tires my fingers out, but I have LOVED reading them.

I am laughing at these course titles. We had a Computer Science-Math course that was called COMA 260 (it was just the course codes together but sheesh, how apt!)

I do believe that we need to be respectful and kind in our delivery of constructive criticism. Certainly to avoid hurting someone's feelings, but also to truly be heard. If someone is too harsh, the reader may just dismiss it as snarkiness and think 'well she's just trying to be mean so I have to just ignore her opinion.'

I think it is really helpful to get feedback from a wide variety of people. It would be great if Angie could comment on every single WIW but our lives are not made up of fashion professionals! Feedback from 'women on the street' is also very valuable because those are the people we encounter IRL. That said, I don't always feel capable of verbalizing how an outfit might be improved but I'm here to learn.

It sounds like, in the past, critiques were given without having to specifically ask for it? It's actually the lack of response that makes me more uneasy. When you look at the WIW's of a few of the regulars, there might be 2 pages or more of comments. When I post one, and get just a few responses (whether positive or negative), I tend to think "gosh I must look so awful that people don't even know what to say." I'd actually feel better about a page full of "that't not your best look" or "have you tried...?" responses than just left to wonder why there is no response.

Susie, I agree.

I'm in the 'nothing nice to say, say nothing at all' group.

To be bluntly honest, I've seen outfits here I wouldn't let my best friend go out on the street in. Not because I thought they were ugly but more because I thought they didn't look good on that person. But, I don't know, I felt like everyone else loved it. Sometimes I wonder whether I am too critical or not everyone is as honest as we would like ourselves to be.

What can I say, it is a matter of opinion, in the end. And who am I to make others feel bad about themselves, after all.

Hear hear Jules!

I've actually enjoyed reading and responding to this thread, and hearing everyone's feelings on the topic. I think it's been a really interesting conversation/debate. I appreciate Ironkurtin for posting this.

Angie, I think you're so right, as usual!

Why do I want to smack my mother? Well, without getting into too many gory details, when I was growing up she was VERY critical of my appearance, my voice, my demeanor, pretty much everything about me. Now that I'm all grown up and apparently meet with her approval, that little girl and teenager are still in there saying "Oh, yeah? Well we're still hurt and your compliments are too little, too late!" Fortunately I am able to smile and nod and say "thank you" and nobody is the wiser.

/TMI

Total side note on the topic of shortcuts.
My Job title is abbreviated as PS2. Haha!

I agree with everything Irene said.

I have a critical eye in some ways - I'm a Virgo after all if there is a typo on a page in a book I will spot it! But I am a very sensitive person so I do always try to be kind (as I would hope others would be to me) yet offer honest feedback when asked. If you don't know people well you don't know how they will take what you say... especially in text where you lose a lot of the nuance of expression (body language, looks, vibe). I do feel a little held back from participating here and I don't know if that's my own issues or what... I do enjoy reading/seeing what you all post, and I certainly don't want to offend anyone. Posting WIWs nags at my privacy concerns (putting photos of myself out there publicly online) but also I don't think my style really fits in and I'm not great at putting myself forward anyway... and that makes me feel a little unfair to make comments when I'm not offering my own material up for comment, tit for tat. Discussion threads are easier.

I also have issues with how people, particularly women, are evaluated in this society visually (bodies & clothing) and while I appreciate how you can make fashion work for you in expressing yourself and controlling how others react to you (because I do it myself) I am uncomfortable possibly contributing to that judgment of women... if that makes sense. It's kind of like my love/hate for makeover shows - I enjoy the dramatic transformations and how the woman feels good about herself but I don't like how the woman is fitted into certain narrow ideas of what makes her attractive, or that her attractiveness is so important she should feel better about herself if she fits into those ideas and that other people's validation is something she should seek and value in feeling good about herself. This is not at ALL a black-and-white thing so while I can appreciate and pick apart the different nuances at length I don't know I can convey that so well simply through text, with people who don't know me. So it's easier to stick to "say something nice if you love it, pass it by if it's not your thing"; it's safer.

Ana has articulated my feelings very well. I'm not the most subtle person out there and so tend to restrain my comments for fear of them sounding unintentionally unkind. At the same time, I get frustrated receiving soft-pedaled critiques, particularly related to K/R posts. Subtlety is often lost on me and I'd rather hear, "girl, that is not the jacket for you" than try to dissect why my post has only gotten 6 replies (i.e. the coat is so bad that nobody wants to say anything). I *really* want to know what you all think, and if you don't say so clearly, it diminishes the value of the input.

I truly believe there's a good balance to be had. It's one of the million reasons that Angie's input is so valuable. She's endlessly kind, but honest.

Sometimes I remember to put "constructive criticism welcomed" on my WIWs but not always, especially if I post them from my phone. Unfortunately, there are so many of us now that I doubt most of us can remember all the members and how they prefer to receive criticism, what their style is, what other budget/religious/body-health issues they may have that limits what they can or want to do with their clothes. That makes it hard to know how to respond.

I've long thought that YLF does an admirable job keeping a balance between criticism and "too-nice" culture. It's so hard to do online, hard to do with a community of women, and hard to do about clothes and image. Honestly, I think we all do pretty well; I too remember the old days of alt.fashion among other places and it was a pretty crazy place to post and read. Most internet communities are dysfunctional in some way and I think YLF Is one of the saner and more genuinely caring ones.

Idea: what if there was some sort of link we could have from our profile/posts that states what kind of criticism we find helpful if any, what our style goals are, etc.? If we had it in a one-click place accessible to newbies and oldsters alike, it might really help. Even figure types, height, and/or sizes for those who want to - I've often thought oh, I wonder if that item would work on me too and then have to ask someone about how tall they are (it's hard to tell in photos!) where I'm sure they've shared that before.

Dana, yes, I've noticed. Thank you for bringing this up.

I too wish I could get more feedback on my outfits. I always try to ask a question. But what if I ask a question that doesn't really cover the territory?

I often won't comment if I don't like an outfit. I am very concerned that I'll come across badly.

Once in a while I will. I truly don't want to hurt anyone and when an item does not seem right to me sometimes if I think it will be appreciated I say so, and why. This is what I would want. I feel I'm learning a lot about how to say things softly and not bluntly as Angie says. Working on it.

Off topic a bit--I remember once I got extra great feedback on an outfit that I didn't feel like myself in, that I only put together for work purposes. I still wonder about that outfit!

I haven't been posting much lately but had to chime in to say thanks IK for bringing this up as I sometimes do wonder about too much cheerleading and not enough constructive criticism. I'm trying to learn here so if I don't see outfits getting enough input it lessens the learning opportunity.

I figure if you post a photo of yourself in an outfit on a fashion board that gives feedback -- you'd better anticipate getting feedback - good and bad. I'd prefer to get more input so I can improve on the outfit.

And if I see or post outfits with few comments, I figure (after hearing this from so many) it's because people "don't have anything good to say" so I typically concur it's probably not a great outfit. So those who are afraid to hurt feelings may actually be doing it anyway by not commenting.

I don't think I've ever seen a comment that was truly ill natured or mean but I guess there may be one here and there.