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WIW: disaster :-(

mamacandoit

Sigh...
So I wore this dress today.

I went to buy a hen and some hatching eggs along with my four kids.

I was in this exact stance, holding the hen when the woman I was buying it from said:
When's your baby coming?
Me: err...sorry? (I genuinely couldn't make sense of what her words meant)
Woman: are you having a baby?
Me: no lol!
Woman: have you just had a baby?
Me: no
Woman :really? ? Wow, your tummy is huge! You might want to get it checked out. My cousin twice removed had a tummy like that and it was cancer. Mind you, he's a guy...are all these kids yours?
Me: yes, I'm so lucky to have my four
Woman: you got any more?
Me: no
Woman: you having anymore?
Me : No
Woman: well, no wonder you've got a tummy like that with for kids. Btw, wait until your girls are teenagers. You'll see! They'll be horrendous.

And when I was putting the kids in the car she was telling me how her husband wants to kill himself.

This place was an hour away and the whole trip home I was feeling upset.
The thing is, two years ago i was eating what i wanted when i wanted. I saw a photo of myself and said"wow, I can really see why people ask me when I'm due"... the person who had taken the photo and published it in our community newsletter said:"you should have seen the other ones of you, they were really worse! "
Well, after that I decided to join Slimming World and start working out. I'm still doing Slimming world (lost 25lbs ) and am doing PIYO workouts every other day. I don't drink alcohol. I drink lots of water. I have veg at every single meal including breakfast.
So is all that for nothing?
The PIYO workouts are tough. I'm dripping sweat the whole 40 minutes.

I'm not deluded. I know I'm obese and I'm working hard to get overweight and then healthy.
I know I have a prominent tummy.

But I feel gutted.
This dress wouldn't have me at all two years ago (when I first saw it) and I was thrilled to be able actually get it on my body

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60 replies

Latest reply was from krishnidoux

JAileen

Veteran

Wow! The woman might want to be checked for dementia because it seems she has no filters on what she says. I'm sorry she was so awful.

Sheila

Veteran

You have come to the right place for support...we all know how it feels to have someone say something hurtful about us...but NOT HERE on YLF. We love you and we love the bold spirit you have proclaimed by making positive, new habits. Please do not let this boorish woman's remarks define who you are. You have achieved so much and you should be very proud of your accomplishments. I would also add that perhaps in the future you can find another place to buy your poultry...this woman is both thoughtless and toxic. Take your business elsewhere.

Aida

Veteran

Good gravy that's some serious tactlessness!! You were probably smart not to engage, I would've responded in a more.. er.. salty way It sounds like she's unhappy and pushing that off on others. That or just awful at making small talk. Perhaps she doesn't have a lot of people interaction. Same goes for the newsletter people. Seriously *shakes head*

You look soooo cute with your little hen! I like the dress, and I'm happy you're happy to be able to fit into it! It also looks like it'll be quite good as you continue your weight loss (and if you do alterations it could also be altered through the torso as needed to last even longer). YES all of your hard work is totally worth it! To be healthier and set a good example to your daughters, and to show them that if you work hard you'll get what you're working towards. Keep it up and don't let this be a setback.

And FWIW not all teenage girls turn awful so definitely don't worry about that!

Chris987

Veteran

Wow that woman has no clue how to behave around other people. Try to think if it as HER problem, not yours, but I totally get that you walked away feeling awful. When you are working hard on a goal that takes time you need encouragement from other people not put-downs. We all need to remember that Keep up the good work and don't let this one person derail you, she's not worth it. As Sheila said so well, you will find much more positive vibes here!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

You don't look pregnant. You look lovely! that dress is a beautiful color on you, and looks loose and summery. You are sticking your tummy forward to help keep the chicken from slipping down. You don't look pregnant in the least. This person who said this probably asks men that question, too.

kimlee

Veteran

I am so sorry that you had to deal with someone who is just plain rude. I, personally, think you look super cute. I agree with Aida that the dress could continue to be a great fit for you during your weight loss journey. Keep your chin up, work hard, and know that YLF is backing you 100%

sylvie55

(website)

Who cares what that rude lunatic woman thinks? The best way to look good in something is to FEEL good in it. I personally think the dress is cute, cool and a good color for you and it reflects a free-spirited side to your personality. If it pleases you, wear it and enjoy how it complements the beautiful person you are.

Anonymous

Steaming mad for you. WHY do people keep asking this question of women? I posted just a couple weeks ago about this when it happened to me (hands on my stomach no less) and I'm not the only one either.

Good job on your weight loss and being able to fit this dress.

carter

Veteran

Whoa! Is it any wonder her husband wants to kill himself?! Seriously, what is wrong with people? I think you look great. That body has given you 4 healthy children. Cut yourself some slack and be happy you're not that poor miserable woman. I don'r know how you held your tongue through that. You're a better woman than I.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That story made me so angry! And then sad. And then angry again.

You do not look pregnant. Your dress is beautiful -- a lovely colour for you. It's got a lovely fluid fit that will continue to look great as you continue to lose weight.

That woman is extremely rude and tactless or perhaps she is socially disabled in some way.

I agree with those who say your healthy habits are not for nothing. You are setting a very positive example for your children. You are losing weight slowly and safely. You are beginning to enjoy fashion. You deserve to have fun with your clothes. Style is not a size.

Gaylene

Veteran

Wow, that kind of rude, ill-mannered behaviour is rather breathtaking. I'm pretty blasé about personal remarks after years of teaching, but I don't think I could have held it together as well as you did. What an awful woman!

On a better note, you look very cool, summery, and pretty in your dress. That blue is gorgeous on you. And staying with a fitness plan for two years takes a lot of dedication and will-power, so you deserve to celebrate your changing body by wearing all kinds of pretty clothes.

If you've on the forum for a while, you'll see gorgeous women in all shapes and sizes who will provide you with the all the support, suggestions, and ideas you need to roll your eyes at the memory of that dreadful woman.

Muffin

Veteran

Wow- I am so sorry that this person had absolutely no filter. Too much reality tv perhaps? Where have manners gone? I would hate to come across this person as she probably has NOTHING positive to say. I will try to be kind and maybe she does have a personality disorder that is not being treated.

Frankly, I think this is a great dress on you! It looks cool, breezy--and functional- pockets! You are doing an amazing job taking care of you with 4 kiddos. I've done PiYo before and it is no easy workout- congratulations to you!!!

Joyce B

Veteran

That woman has issues. What she said reflects poorly on herself, not on you.

BrieN

Veteran

Well, I have just spent the last 3 minutes thinking of horrible things to say and do to a deranged poultry lady across the pond including but not limited to impaling with sharp pitchforks and encouraging aggressive hen pecking at her person. And a baseball bat came to mind as well, so some American style retribution as well. In my fantasy world, she's going down!

Tomorrow you will wake up with those beautiful children and hopefully you'll remember some of the wisdom here on this thread and the sting will be 1/2. and the day after 1/2 again. Until it approaches zero. Right now you are taking amazing care of yourself and your children, and that is the ultimate.

mamacandoit

thanks guys.
Your replies have made me cry.

jill58

Veteran

You do not look pregnant! How crazy and ridiculous. Do not let this derail your progress with Slimming World but in the meantime you look absolutely fine as you are. Really, you're lovely. Forget about the newsletter people and forget about this crazy chicken woman!

kkards

Veteran

1st things 1st......wow you're a brave women to take on 4 children and a hen and chickens! and if I recall from another post, home school! I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

now, on to the rest.....really some people don't deserve your time or attention, clearly this women was one of them. keep eating right and exercising, your health is the important thing...and you are showing your children how important it is to treat your body right.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I see a great Summer dress that looks cool and flattering- you are beautiful just as you are right now!

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

Nice chicken. Nice dress. That person had to have some mental problems ... even the tactless people don't go that far normally.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

YOU ARE A LADY. The woman, on the other hand, needs a class in tactful manners - and then some. I can scarcely believe it. WOW. I'm stunned. I'm sorry you had to go through that. (((HUGS))).

You look lovely in that dress. Breezy and Summery. Your hair looks really cute too. You also have lovely eyes. Rock on!

And cute hen too.

Diana

Veteran

Wow, that woman sounds like a nutjob. I think some people are just miserable human beings in many ways and want to make everyone else around them miserable too. Do not let her hurtful words affect you too much and do not let them diminish your accomplishments.

I love the dress and love how it looks on you. (And the little hen is such a cute accessory!)

Janet

(website)

Veteran

My first reaction was, what in the everloving $#%* is wrong with people? And then when I read what this woman continued to say to you, it occurred to me that she very likely has some pretty serious issue -- the way she acted sounds like she may be have some sort of mental illness. I'm just sorry you were the recipient of her misguided attention.

Congrats on losing the weight, and don't let her get you down. Hugs!

rachylou

Veteran

Look at your sweet chicken! Aww I like that dress.

Anyways...you know the woman was insane right? Suicidal husband...big tip off anyway you look at it.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Congratulations on your fitness program and being able to wear that lovely dress!
The woman you encountered is incredible. I agree with Rachylou. What an awful thing to go through--I'm so sorry you ended up on the receiving end of whatever her issues are. I would feel rotten, too, being ranted at like that. But I hope you are feeling better by now, understanding that truth (you are beautiful as you are) is stronger than mean-spirited lies.

Echo

Veteran

You handled the situation with grace and strength. You look beautiful, and it's a lovely dress. I've been in similar situations, and there's nothing a person can do but smile and carry on. Good for you on the fitness program, but always remember that you are doing it for YOU and your health, not to shut up nutjobs like the woman you encountered today.

And if you will please excuse my extreme lack of grace, it's no wonder that woman's poor husband feels the way he does.

mamacandoit

You know, it's only after a good 90min of ruminating over this that it occurred to me that she must have either mental problems herself or that maybe she just wants to upset people for fun. I'm a pretty trusting, friendly, easy-going person but occasionally i come across people who seem to want to spread negativity and get really annoyed by friendliness.
Honestly, on either level I feel very sad for her.

and I will not do business with her again...even if Gingy is one of the friendliest hens I've ever had. She's seriously a very sweet little hen

Tanya

Veteran

Wow, that woman is either extremely rude, or quite possibly has serious mental issues. Since it is probably later you should try to feel sorry for her but I know that it is tough with such ridiculous things coming out of her mouth. You had lot of grace to deal with it like you did.
You look lovely in your summer dress, and the color is very flattering on you. I am impressed with your fitness progress and weight loss, and you are becoming healthier every day and setting a great example for your kids. Please so not let one possibly insane woman let you doubt yourself.

lisaflex

Veteran

wow...rude people with no tact suck.......

the dress to me says summery breezy

keep up the workouts! good for you

Aida

Veteran

Glad to hear that the hen is sweet ^^

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