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WIW - half an effort is better than none

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I needed to go out for quick errands today (a stop at the hardware store and a brief Target run), so I’m wearing real clothes, so to speak.

I see so many of you here looking beautiful and polished during this time, and I feel like a total schlump. My hair is out of control, and I kind of just don’t care much about my appearance now, mainly because almost no one sees me and if I’m being brutally honest, I’m depressed. It’s been an awful year.

I’m making at least a slight attempt when I go out in public — and I wore a casual but nice dress to have anniversary dinner at home with my husband last weekend. Otherwise I’m just throwing on the first pair of shorts and tee I find, or living in gear to go out hiking or biking. Makeup is a joke. I don’t bother with styling product on my hair. I am having a hard time recalling when I felt less attractive than I do now.

So, with all of that woe-is-me out of the way, here’s what I wore to go out and do my errands this morning. Ripskirt, Cloth & Stone tie-front shirt, and Cole Haan sneakers that are starting to look worse for the wear. I threw on a tiny crossbody because I needed to carry some hardware and a shopping list. I dunno, maybe on a different day I might feel a little bit cute in this? I like the skirt just fine, and I like the shirt too. But I’m not loving how the sneakers look with this — maybe white sneakers or my sandals would have been better. Makeup would help, but I can’t be bothered lately. And you can see my hair is a frizzy disaster. It got in my way numerous times while I was out. I guess I should just live in a ponytail for now.

Ugh! LOL

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RipSkirt Hawaii - Length 3 - Quick Wrap Cover-up That Multitasks as The Perfect Travel/Summer Skirt

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47 replies

Latest reply was from RobinF

Anonymous

Janet, I will join you in the ponytail club for the duration of the humid season, LOL! Bad hair, don't care is my new mantra.

What I see in your photo is just a more natural version of your beauty. I really like what you're wearing and think it shows taste and style. Just know that we're all muddling through this and trying to figure it all out. You are definitely not alone!

unfrumped

Veteran

Ripskirt is definitely more than half- effort!
I think maybe I like some of your other shoes with it better, but the outfit is good.
The ripskirt did not work on me, BTW ( apropos sporty- casual dresses) .

Vildy

Veteran

I can empathize with feeling depressed in this year but, as usual,
you look to me like a pic of a Style Icon someone would grab off the net for inspiration.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Actually I think that your hair looks very nice abit longer,it’s got a beachy vibe that suits you very well.l do empathise with how you feel though,l look like Barbies granny my hair is getting so long !Its not surprising you feel abit down ,it’s not been a great year so far has it and you are recently bereaved.Be gentle with yourself.

Runcarla

Veteran

Looks lie! You look more than ‘okay’, and I do hope you will keep the longer hair. It is kind of sexy!

rachylou

Veteran

You look cute!

I spend a lot of time thinking about how to make my Chore Outfits cute, never satisfied. I think the problem is that chore outfits are by definition not polished, unless you dress like a maid at Downton Abbey. It’s the nature of the beast. You could put on a ball gown, and it’s instantly Not Polished.

Anonymous

Oh Janet What do you think is holding you back from getting back into your usual grooming routine ? (I guess salons must still be closed where you are, so I get that part) Maybe make yourself do makeup and nails etc and it will help to make you feel more yourself and back into a routine? I know - none of this is an easy fix, and I get it. Your outfit is cute, and fits you well, but I agree it's not your usual. Swap the shirt for a black t and black sandals (or metallic) and I bet you'd feel much differently. Bit of jewellery too ....? Vivian (viva) did this awesome online hair trimming session with that hair woman we follow - ah - what is her name ? Jayne from Edo Salon, right? That might be fun to do!

Gail

Veteran

YES YES YES , I can totally relate to all this. My hair is a frizzy mess and the roots oh so dark . I got caught in rain today that only added to the hair disaster. I have it scraped back in a barrette now .
I got dressed properly yesterday but still felt miserable because of my hair. I'm starting to even consider a box dye which is never a good thing, judging on prior results.
I guess the take away from all this is that my feeling of attractiveness is directly related to my hair and a haircut here is at about another 3-4 weeks away with my stylist . She is taking appointments that were cancelled first ( I didn't have one ) and I think she can't open for another another week.

Peri

Veteran

I got my hair done last week, 6 weeks behind schedule. Honestly, it didn't make much difference. I had gotten used to a longer length and now feel like it's too short. Objectively, maybe it looks better, but I don't feel better. I've gained weight and not been able to do some of the things that made me fit and happy in the good old days

Moral of the story? I think most of this is internal. You know ways to make the outfit more you, but you don't want to. You look great to me, but you aren't feeling it. Depression and anxiety are normal reactions to this situation, and you had a loss on top of that.

Do you have good ways in place to address the internal issues? And then forgive yourself for struggling in the first place because it's normal? I hope so. Sorry for all the unhappiness.

Lucy

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sporting a more relaxed, comfortable look these days. I think your outfit is perfect for running errands, and the fit is very flattering--as always with your outfits!
If it makes you feel any better, on the days that I work from home, I usually don't get out of my pj's until mid-afternoon, and then it is to put on a "home only" pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Janet, you look gorgeous, as always. That skirt is a slam dunk and your hair is fun and beachy with the waves. Sure, you might change your shoes and top for a different look, but this one is a perfect look for your needs of the day.

You've lost a beloved animal companion. You lost a dear friend just before COVID hit. Your country is bruised and roiling. And now, the temperature is boiling! No wonder you are feeling a bit anxious and low. I struggled mightily with depression for the first month of COVID. I could barely even check in with the forum, let alone dress nicely, back then! So I get it. It's really hard. But your fashion flair will never leave you.

Hang in there. The hairdressing appt. (when it comes) will truly help.

Anonymous

Yes, I was thinking about Tippi earlier. The period after the loss of a pet can be almost unbearable. I actually had to go to a grief counselor after I lost a long-time animal companion. Go easy on yourself right now.

Preppy Pear

Veteran

I think you look great, truly and honestly. Your hair is soft and pretty, and you look relaxed and comfortable- even the shoes are RATE cool. As you said, on a different day, you’d feel cute.

I’m so sorry you are feeling down - this has indeed been a terrible year for most of us, and on top of that, you lost your pet, which would be awful at any time. But maybe you can take a smidge of comfort knowing that your outside is holding up, at least. You are not a schlump. Check that one off your list, even if you aren’t feeling it. And I’m so sorry about Tippi.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Thank you all for the great suggestions and kind words. I know this is more internal than anything right now. Everything has been compounded by my husband leaving for a visit to the ranch in TX (a brief trip, but still at a time when we both really don’t want to be apart), and learning that my sister’s best friend died yesterday.

Typically I get excited to dress when I have something to dress *for* — I’m not someone who dresses up at home alone. And there is nothing to dress for. No events, no gatherings, not even a leisurely visit to browse in a store, or sit at a cafe and work. Actually, that’s not totally true; tomorrow is a bit of an event. I’m judging a big photo competition with a couple of other judges and some program hosts, and it’s in person. It will be just 6-8 of us, I think, in a large room that has not been used in a while, and with masks and social distancing protocols, but I’m still a bit stressed about spending hours in an enclosed place for the first time in months. But I guess it will be a chance to wear a real outfit of sorts, at least.

Perhaps that will help my mood. Too much isolation is definitely not helping!

Sal

Veteran

Oh Janet - you have had a really hard year. Grief over your friend and Tippi, the isolation of Covid, and unrest in the US. I feel for you.

You look great - and the hair in the pic looks fun and beachy. But I do empathise with that you don’t feel great. I hope that you enjoy the event tomorrow and that your husband can return swiftly.

I also dress for events and occasions - and the balance between my lazy at home days and events worked well.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Well, Janet, lucky for you, your natural beauty shines through. I felt the same as Xtabay on that point. I agree with you that the sneakers are what make this outfit not quite what I think of as signature Janet. Swap them for Birks, or any other sandals in your wardrobe, and you're set. I can empathize with the feelings you're describing, though, and I know that they lie at the heart of everything. You are grieving; I hope you can give yourself some slack. I have to remind myself, too.

Lucy

Veteran

Cute outfit - and I agree with others that the shoe might make all the difference to put it into FAB territory . I really love that tie top on you !
Your hair looks pretty I think . It certainly does not look a hot mess!! But as an aside - one thing I did hear early on in the pandemic was to tie your hair back because hair on the face means you touch your face a lot more . Probably everyone is different but I realised I definitely do this ! We are opening up a lot more in Australia, but I’m still being cautious , so I must say I’m sticking with the pony tail or messy bun when out and about . Perhaps this is more relevant here, too, where people have been largely discouraged from wearing masks .

jasmine

I know all too well how depression really does a number on our perception of reality. I haven't read any of the comments, but just wanted to give you my first impression upon looking at the photo you posted: you look great. If I saw you on the street the very last things I would be thinking are "ugh!" or "frizzy disaster."

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Janet, I am very similar. COVID put a huge cramp in my style. I wonder if it is partly down to our being artists? I don't know quite what I mean by that...but at home I tend to be extremely practical because I've got a cat in my lap or I'm doing gardening or housework or exercise in between my work hours. My actual clothes are more for public -- from the simplest (doing errands in town) to date night to awards presentations to meetings with friends at pubs or teaching...so anyway, I have really stopped dressing the way I used to dress, too, as a result of this pandemic.

Maybe we should have a shared challenge (and anyone else who wanted to join could do so). I don't want to push myself to "dress up" if it feels ridiculous...but maybe the challenge could even involve other things, like trying to find a work-from-home uniform (as Jenn does) that feels somehow a bit more fashionable. Or...I don't know what. I'm not terribly articulate here. Just know I can identify with this and the ripskirt has been a godsend because it kind of fills the need I have.

Bijou

Veteran

Janet, it has been a horrendous year for you. I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling down, although understand entirely why you feel that way. I hope you have turned a corner and it is onwards and upwards from here.

You look lovely. Your artist’s eye for great pieces and putting things together comes through even when you are making half an effort. I hope tomorrow is a good day. Judging photos and being with other talented artists is likely to be a invigorating experience.

Suz has given the best advice. I am increasingly working from home and need to develop a working from home uniform. 2020 has brought many changes and challenges, trying to rise above the waves is a challenge for many of us too. Please hang in there, you are an exceptionally lovely and beautiful person, inside and out.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Hey Janet. I’m sorry you are feeling blue. Try to be patient. You only just lost Tippi - on top of other losses and challenges this year. Just try to stay occupied and give yourself some time to recover.
On the outfit. You have a natural style that shines through. The skirt looks great! Personally I always struggle to feel good in sneakers + skirt/dress. I like sneakers with jeans or shorts. But with skirts, not so much. Why is that? Anyway, I would try switching to sandals for a little pick me up.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

What Brooklyn said.

(((HUGS)))

Sweet Janet, you always look great, and are innately stylish no matter what outfit you put together. This outfit included! The skirt is KILLER flattering! And your elegance and verve shine through

You are grieving for precious Tippi, and it's been a REALLY tough year. It's extremely understandable that you're depressed, and have a big hole in your heart on top of everything. We are all sad at some point during the day. It's how things are at the moment. It sucks and is grim. And the only way out is through. One day at a time.....

There is camaraderie in sadness. Nurture yourself, and try to be patient. Soak up TLC from Jamie and your other sweet doggies. Try to do something fun each day. Give yourself something to look forward to, as well.

I think a trip to the salon could help - if that's possible yet? I LOVE your longer hair! Get a trim, and start showing the fun grey.

You are beautiful inside and out. Things will get better. Much love. xo

ETA: When Rosie and Jasmine were BOTH gone, and we had no doggies at home - I couldn't even type a comment on the forum for a 6 weeks. I was completely silent. You are doing better than me.....

Anonymous

I hope the two ripskirts I ordered look 1/3 as good on me as they do you and Suz!

It’s totally OK to just not feel OK.
I understand the grief/lockdown/less to look forward to/isolated blues!
I could sing back up for you. That said,
****you actually look great here****

Loss is just hard.
When January ended with my Mom dying the year took a new tone.

I am so sorry about the best friend you lost & Tippi.

So many adjustments & stresses happening in the world are as well.

I don’t get ‘dressed’ up unless going somewhere either but I think it might be good to try it sometime.

My Husband works 6 days a week and for medical reasons, I have been sheltering still, as things open up and taking care of my Dad who’s 71. So really been wearing the saddest of sad items, lol.

Maybe getting dressed sometimes just for me or just at home might be a nice change of pace, so I accept the challenge Suz mentioned!
It might brighten a day. And I miss wearing my clothes!

slim cat

Veteran

You look beautiful in natural way - the hair is soft, the outfit is relaxed and pretty. I'm sorry for your loss and suffering - it's a very painful process you are going through.
I hope that upcoming event will help you to feel better. Hugs.

Minaminu

Veteran

I think you look very nice in this outfit. I grew up in a hot country, summer is incredibly hot and humid and my hair used to double in volume because of the frizz! To minimize the frizziness, I used to apply some oil to help reduce the volume. Could this be helpful?

Anonymous

Coming back here for two reasons : I wanted to add that your hair actually looks really good this way ! The beachy, relaxed vibe is soft and different and really suits you. But , I know how hard it is when your hair isn't looking the way you want it to. I've had 2 cuts now since salons reopened here and still am hating my hair. Ugh.

Second: Angie, Suz, Brooklyn and others have shared such lovely words and thoughts...and I know from my own tough times (shared here on the forum) how helpful it is to read , and reread them. I'm soaking up a bit of their wisdom for myself here Hope today is a better day for you .x0

nemosmom

Veteran

Sweet Janet, you have experienced so much loss, in the middle of a really scary pandemic, so it is totally understandable that you would feel down right now. You are grieving not only your best friend, but your beloved fur baby, and your lifestyle in a sense. That you can still smile and get out of bed is huge. I think you look beautiful.

Fashion can be good therapy. Maybe playing dress up for a bit would help lift your spirits?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m on my phone now, and a bit overwhelmed after a marathon judging session (which went well and helped me feel a bit more like a productive, contributing member of society), so it’s hard to type individual responses, but I want to reach out and hugs every single one of you.

Yesterday felt really dark. Today is better. Still tough but better. I know the drill during times like these, since I’ve been down this road before. But my exercise has fallen off the rails a bit in the last two weeks, and I’ve been eating too much cake and not enough healthy stuff too. Have not gone too heavy on the wine, at least. Eating well and getting daily exercise really helps my mental state, so I need to get back on that pronto.

Another Ripskirt outfit for today. Casual and comfortable, but polished and no-fuss, worn for hours of reviewing hundreds of photos for a statewide competition. I am honored to be selected as a judge, so I’m not complaining at all! It’s a big task that requires focus and analysis, but also instinct and sensitivity. I’m good at it, which is really nice to know. Since selling art is not easy right now, perhaps I should be shifting my efforts towards more teaching. Something to ponder.

Anyway. Simple black Madewell tee that I have in like five colors, paired with my third Ripskirt, and Arche sandals. I wore a great locally-made mask for the judging (not pictured as it was stashed in my car). Hair pulled back into a ponytail with another slight bang trim this morning — ok, actually a really artless hack on my bangs but the good thing about wavy hair is that it’s hard to tell how badly I cut it. I need to look at those bang trim videos and order some better hair-cutting implements!

Bonus pics of happier things so you can see the little things that do make me smile these days: the banana peppers and tomatoes that are growing on our deck (the tomato plant in the photo has at least 16 tomatoes on it, and the little angel figure on it was from my mom’s garden — coincidence??). And Sunny, who seems to be missing her bossy sister Tippi and has not completely adjusted to being queen of the house yet, but she’s certainly practicing!

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

There you go!!!

SO much more "you" with just a few tiny switches. Really glad you are doing a bit better today. It is like that just now -- deep plunges and then surfacing a bit, some reprieve...and you are right, getting light, exercise, eating reasonably well can all help. I also find the garden offers real respite. And my cat. Love those photos of Sunny and your own garden (and guardian angel). Hang in there.

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