Will I Actually Wear It? UPDATE- DOWN THREAD - YouLookFab Forum

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Will I Actually Wear It? UPDATE- DOWN THREAD

Dee

Veteran

I just bought myself a very casual sportyish summer dress, it fits me well, nice colour and striped pattern, checks all the boxes for my style words and yet, I wonder over time if I will actually end up really wearing it or not?

Why my hesitation? Well, it could be that I never wear any of my other summer dresses or skirts that I already own. I also feel really guilty about buying another clothing item ( I was supposed to be cutting back on shopping, but I've failed on that count miserably). I already have plenty of other summer clothes that I'm likely to choose first to wear and this dress may STILL feel too dressy or impractical for my everyday lifestyle.

YET, SOMEHOW, I'm hoping that this particular casual style of dress will be different compared to my other dresses which are less sporty and maybe it's a clothing item that I just need to put on and practice wearing in order for it to feel comfortable enough to wear for everyday. However, I really dont want to keep something that I shouldn't have realistically bought in the first place and then end up having to donate.

Appreciate any of your thoughts on this? How would you decide if it's worth keeping?

* UPDATED DOWN THREAD

Shopping

36 replies

Latest reply was from RobinF

Kyle

Veteran

When I have such a strong hesitation about something, I consider it an intuition or my inner voice, and I have found that it’s something worth listening to. If I were in your situation, I might ask why I don’t wear the skirts and dresses I already have and why this piece would be different. I think many of us have been in this situation and I commiserate.

judy

Veteran

There can be such a divide between what I can be attracted to buying and what I am actually drawn to wear everyday. They are actually two very different activities, right? For me, dresses are one of these. Oh the idea of wearing a dress sounds lovely...breezy, summery. But the practicality for me is not there. I feel a bit undressed on the lower half of my body in a dress now, after not wearing them for so long. I own a total of three dresses, and I only wear one when it is brutally hot weather. It is very loose fitting, and below the knee. The other two were thrift store finds, and one is so beautiful that I love seeing it hanging in my closet, even if it does not get worn. How to decide? I think some of it is as you say, just habit. Like to just force ourselves to try something and we adjust. Like do I just like pants because I'm used to the coverage, the many pockets...? I don't think there is a right or a wrong answer. Trying things and experimenting can be part of the fun. And also, all dresses aren't created equal...does it have the feel and coverage...and the look you want?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Such a tough question to answer, Dee!

So many ways to think about it. I understand what Kyle's saying -- it's wise to listen to your intuitions. But in this case it sounds as if your intuitions and impulses may be in conflict so it's hard to read yourself.

Is it very hot now where you are? (I'm imagining, yes.) If so, did you buy the dress on a day when you felt insane with the heat and do you want to just throw this dress on right now to wear it? And, was the price very reasonable?

In that case, consider keeping, or at minimum, consider forgiving yourself for making this purchase! A summer dress, however awkward it might feel at first to wear it, could fulfill a legitimate need.

You might not wear it often, but it would serve you in those 3 really hot weeks each year for the next few years.

To get wear from it, though, you might have to steel yourself to wearing dresses in your not-dressy environment, as Judy says. Maybe look around and see if anyone else does wear skirts and dresses regularly (I'll bet there are at least a few women out there who do) or maybe just wear at home for a while if you are uncomfortable wearing it out in the world?

On the other hand...as Judy also suggests, think hard about the length and fabrication of this particular dress. Is this jersey? That makes it practical and very casual -- but it can also feel hotter than wovens. And the above the knee length would give me pause for thought in a skirt/ dress -- I like a longer length for myself in my summer dresses.

I love dresses and skirts in summer, but I don't wear them as often as I used to since I moved to a suburb and started getting around mostly by bike. My bike is skirt friendly, but there is still a feeling of discomfort at times in wearing a dress. I am slowly adapting. One thing that is reallyl clear to me is that a shorter length won't work for me and I need freedom of movement, so it has to be a fairly wide skirt. Your specific needs might differ, though.

Good luck with the decision!

Irina

Veteran

I don’t find the dress you consider too dressy. But it is me. Where are you going in this dress? Will you be comfortable wearing it for multiple purposes?

I used to buy clothes that could be worn in an office environment and before Covid had 0 dresses. But I love summer dresses now.
I own a dress that I like very much and yet in two years since buying it, I wore it once. It is a simple linen dress in a lovely teal color but because fabric looks more polished than a regular linen, I decided it’s too dressy. This summer I wear it with a fabric shopper and casual shoes to give more casual look. I don’t want to wait for an occasion to wear it with slingbacks and a purse. I love when my clothes can be worn in different ways. Versatility is one of my main goals.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I need to see your dresses! Then we can figure out the whys more accurately.

And let's see this cute beachy dress on too, Dee!

Star (Lise)

Veteran

Dee I have not read the other responses and I certainly will do when I have more time. I want to ask why you feel you have to wear a dress. This is a very sporty casual dress yet if you still feel you may not wear it why do you feel you must and hope that you will? I know many people who don't wear dresses. Maybe I have it all wrong and this question does not apply or is inappropriate. If so you can ignore it.

Val MN

Do you have a solid analysis of why you don’t wear your other summer dresses? Do you have a plan for how to style the dress that will avoid those problems? That’s how I would decide.

I can give a couple examples from my own experience. Because of a health issue that made most pants and shorts uncomfortable to wear, for the last two years I have focused on making summer dresses work for every day.

Problem: Dresses looked best with my least comfortable shoes. Solution: Find the kind of sneakers (and socks) that look good with dresses, and find the kind of sandals that are supportive and comfortable for long days on my feet. The shoe choices helped a lot with making the dresses feel casual and unfussy, too.

Problem: Dresses revealed my undergarments if I moved around freely. (I’m a toddler mom, among other things). Solution: Wear bikeshorts underneath (my single biggest shopping challenge was finding bikeshorts that were actually comfortable), wear a discreet color of bra (for me and my wardrobe, these are black or dark pink), and choose dresses with reasonable coverage to begin with.

Good luck! And I support returning the dress while you still can, if it seems like a struggle to wear it.

Dee

Veteran

Appreciate all the wonderful thoughts and suggestions.
Kyle- Yes, I think my inner voice is telling me something, and I may be trying to override it, but I also had a certain notion about why I thought I needed this dress.
Judy- You’re singing my song, I think I wanted that breezy, one and done summer dress, but the reality is I do feel more exposed on my bottom half.
Suz- This dress is 100% cotton, so light weight, and the dress length is a bit shorter than all my other dresses. I thought it just might be easier to wear and less fussy at this length. I do see plenty of others wearing dresses and skirts. I think the issue is mostly in my head lol
Irina- I was hoping to have a simple dress to wear around the house etc.. instead of shorts on those really hot days that we’ve been getting lately.

Dee

Veteran

Angie- I’ve posted of few of my other summer dresses and skirts that I currently have below. The sporty striped dress in question, fits me similarly to the model in the finds I posted above. The fit isn’t the real issue for me, I actually like the dress but I’m not so sure I’ll ever choose to wear it in reality.

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LJP

Veteran

Well I read enough hesitation ( and reality ) in your words to vote “ no” . We don’t have to buy everything we like , lol, nor should we have to invent occasions / reasons to buy something new. While a perfectly nice simple dress , it’s not so special that you wouldn’t be able to source something exactly the same if you do really need it . Follow me for more reasons not to buy stuff , lol.

Dee

Veteran

Lise- Your question is totally valid, I think the reason I wanted to try wearing this dress, was seeing other people looking comfortable and stylish wearing them, especially in this hot weather. I thought perhaps this particular style might be easier and less fussy to wear, but I’m actually starting to wonder if I’m a true dress wearer anymore. They just might not be my thing.
Val MN- I really think the reason I no longer wear dresses much, is because of the bottom half exposure that Judy mentioned, and they just feel dressier in my mind than what I normally would wear for my everyday. Although, I love the look of a dress, I guess I just don’t feel comfortable enough wearing them in reality.

Dee

Veteran

LJP- Haha, too funny. Yep, I might be trying too hard justifying why I thought I needed it.

cat2

Veteran

Do you have pins? Pin up the hem of the longer striped one you already have and see if that would make you want to wear it. If not, I would pass.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks, Dee!

I see two dresses in your older collection that are a similar vibe to the new dress. Sporty, short, a bit beachy, and very casual. Do you know why you don't wear those?

feel too exposed?
don't have the right shoes?
don't have skimmers?
wrong fit?
feel fussy in ANY dress?

You could give it one last try with the new dress. See how you goes - IF you promise not to feel guilty about it if it's a failed experiment. If you feel bad about that now - I vote return the dress.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

The clues are accumulating. We are getting closer to a solution.

LJP, I laughed out loud....

DonnaF

Veteran

Well, Dee, I must say the dress in question looks 100% your style.

For me, I don’t like to wear shorter dresses and skirts without some type of hose if I know I might be sitting on something that’s not upholstered. I also don’t wear shorts. Longer dresses and skirts can be a problem bending over and going down stairs.

I get cold wearing skirts and dresses but I don’t think that’s your problem.

Finally, not enough skirts and dresses have POCKETS!!!

I wish I were better at predicting whether I will wear something or not. Sometimes it’s dependent on the weather in a particular year or my activities will change. But it’s also about comfort level. . .

Quietgirl

Veteran

Cute dress. I would wear it. It's basically tee shirt dress and does not seen dressy to me. (It would be perfect in my small southern town where I'm always overdressed. ) Can you think of three ways you might wear it? Or three places you might go in it? I would wear it with brown sandals and brown belt-anywhere. I would wear it as a pool cover up. I would also wear it with tennis shoes and a fanny pack slung over my shoulder. Discussions are good. I hope you find some resolutions to your pressing dress question. Hugs!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Well Dee I have a lot of dresses and I hardly wear them. 5 autumn/winter ones and 8 spring/summer ones. After 9 years of tracking wears I have tried to make myself not buy more, even so in 2022 I saw one with the gorgeous Art Deco type geometric patterns I love that was $30 at the outlet store of a very expensive brand I love (original price around $500, which I would have never paid) so I succumbed. I have worn it precisely once since 2022. I guess I still love the idea of it but not the reality. We can all do this. If it wasn’t too expensive I wouldn’t beat yourself up even if you don’t wear it much. You are then unlikely to make the same mistake again?

Lisa

Veteran

I only recently rejoined team dress myself. What got me back on board to a dress was the practicality of a dress in the heat (one and done is really nice) and the versatility of the dress (it dresses up with sandals and down with sneakers easily). The dress is also in colors that work well for me and is on the casual side, which fits my current lifestyle.

I'd consider what your lifestyle needs are and if the dress can fit them. As other's suggested, also why the dresses you already have aren't getting use. Sometimes getting something outside the comfort zone sparks a new style direction (as getting a dress did for me) and other times it was a nice to try moment, but a style or item I'm not ready for or just doesn't fit my lifestyle. If that's the case I'd appreciate the learning moment and move on to other fun things that work for your wardrobe!

linder

Dee, I just bought this same dress! It was only delivered on Saturday so I haven't had a chance to wear it yet, but it is very comfortable and soft.

I had previously bought the same style in a black-and-white pattern and have worn it several times with white flat sandals and black block-heel sandals. I find it very easy to wear both casually or slightly more dressed up.

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Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I'm going out on a limb: this new dress looks more your style and more casual than the others you posted further down the thread. I would say it looks like an overgrown t-shirt, whereas the others look like dresses. So I could see this one having more potential for you to wear comfortably in place of shorts + tee + cardigan or similar outfit. (I think you and I have similar daily styles.)

I also agree with Angie's idea that if you will feel guilty if this experiment fails, it's best to return it.

Dee

Veteran

Cat2- Thanks for the suggestion.
Angie- Ugh, you might be right about dresses starting to feel rather fussy for me now.
DonnaF- Oh yes, I just adore dresses and skirts with pockets too.
Jenni NZ- Yep, I guess I love the idea of dresses more than the reality.
Lisa- That new dress you bought recently looks wonderful on you, glad that it was easy to integrate into your lifestyle.
Quietgirl- You’re right this dress does offer a lot of styling options.
Linder- Yes, its definitely a comfortable dress to wear, love the pattern on yours too.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

What a fascinating discussion! This dress looks a bit more casual than your other dresses to my eye but the thing that strikes me about the conversation is the attitudes toward buying a new item. How many hurdles does it need to clear to be justified? Really this brings up everything from personal values, the environment and late stage capitalism just to start. Ok, not really helpful for your decision I admit !

Dee

Veteran

Firecracker (Sharan) - Yes,that’s exactly my thought process for choosing this particular style of dress, it was suppose to be the casual dress equivalent for shorts and tee, yet now I’m not so sure about it all Lol.

Dee

Veteran

Jaime- Haha, yes, there's definitely underlying guilt issues here for me on excess consumption. After all, my original intention was to reduce my purchases this year, and so if I don't actually end up wearing this dress for XYZ reasons, I wanted to sort out my rationale for buying this dress in the first place.

Runcarla

Veteran

I’m not really a dress person, but I’ve been wearing dresses more this summer than any summer since I retired in 2018!

Dee

Veteran

MY UPDATE-
Wonderful hearing your superb collective wisdom on this subject. I see for many of you dresses are totally a comfortable part of your lifestyle and although this is a cute, breezy dress for summer and I actually really like it on me, it's still not enough to convince me to keep it.

That little hesitation I have is telling me something, and it's what I'm going to listen to. I've overridden this hesitation before, and usually, I end up regretting it. It is possible that I could end up wearing this dress more at some point in the future, but currently, I'm not comfortable waiting to see if this will actually happen or not. My other unworn dresses in the closet serve as a warning against me waiting. Time to return it. After all, I have plenty of other summer options that easily suit my comfort zone already.
Thanks for helping me sort this out. It's much appreciated.

Jules

Veteran

Totally agree about listening to that little
hint of inner doubt. Also agree that this dress is a pretty basic style that you’ll be able to find in future if the urge returns.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Dee, good decision listening to your feelings! Now you don't have to deal with potential guilt

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