Why I'm not sticking to my budget, and what I'm going to do about it (long)

Ginger

Angie's post on budgeting today really got me thinking. I established a budget long ago, but I haven't stuck to it well in the last year or so. The reasons why, and how to address them, took more thought.

Why I haven't stuck to my budget

1. My budget is small. It's what's left over from mortgage/maintenance, savings, groceries, and other hobbies. It's at the very bottom of suggested income % for wardrobe. For my climate and wardrobe needs/preferences, it's pretty tight.

2. YLF. So many new trends to be aware of, new places to buy, thinking about fashion all the time instead of occasionally. I know I'm not the only one who's dealt with this.

3. I just today realized I've been in a slow style renewal. When I first came to YLF I had been dressing mostly 30s-40s vintage and vintage-inspired for years. I was getting tired of it, as well as needing to deal with a bursting closet. As I started working on it, I found myself buying. A lot. Shoes in particular have been numerous, since they're vital to my outfit-building. I don't regret much of this; the style renewal means a lot of new pieces that have been great to wear. But I did not recognize this significant change in my buying habits! I can't expect to finance a style renewal on the same budget as wardrobe maintenance.

4. Emotional and boredom shopping. Spending money became easier, thanks to #3. I've gotten even better at shopping sales. I pay more attention to new trends, mentally trying to find ways to integrate them into my style. I don't think I struggle with sales, but it does take time, and I usually come home with something I'm happy with. But honestly, I don't actually need it.

I've felt a lot of guilt for overspending. Guilt for not saving like I wanted to. Guilt for not living up to the principles of money management that I know very well. Guilt for lack of self-control when shopping. It helped to write out the list above and recognize the other factors involved. It's not just me, being a failure.

But now, how to "fix" it?

1. Size of the budget

This one really cannot be adjusted much, as a number. Again, it's the leftovers. I have multiple hobbies, such as home decorating, gardening, sewing, singing/dancing, and traveling, and most of them take money. I can choose to retrench in some of those areas, and be able to focus on others. Finishing out the wardrobe renewal would be a good goal.

I can also adjust my semantics, and what is included. Angie's budget is for "wardrobe," whereas mine has always been for "clothing." Every garment came out of that money, as well as fabric and sewing supplies, gear, and shoe repair. But if I limited it like Angie does, I would have a much better grasp on the cost of my actual daily wardrobe. Her post gave me permission to exclude the basics and those other items. It's discouraging when a single necessary shoe repair wipes out a week's budget.

Establishing a separate line for NAS or another big item. I'm not to the
point yet where I can shop the NAS with great success, but a separate
line for a big ticket item may be important. I tried to do this before,
but pretty much never found the big item I really needed. I got
discouraged, frittered the money on the wrong things, and gave up.

2. YLF

YLF is not a major driving of overspending now, even if it may have been in the past. So I'm not as concerned about this. I just need to make sure I don't lemming or jump on a sale just because it's there.

3. Style renewal

Style renewal is not a problem. What is a problem is not recognizing when it's time to do it. And not working through Angie's steps.

Despite that, I have a pretty good idea of what I want. My awareness of body type, style preferences, and external factors is pretty good. I've always known what I want to try and what will not work, and that's gotten better just in the last year. I've added a LOT to my wardrobe, and most of it's pretty good, so I have much more of the right stuff to work with. I also wrote a style goals post at the beginning of the year.

I want to do another closet edit as soon as possible. This time including accessories! And really do all the steps in the style renewal process. I think that will put me in a much better position for shopping wisely.

Mostly this comes back to having a wardrobe plan. I'm such an emotional
dresser that I'm honestly scared that if I make a plan, I will be bored
by everything within six weeks but unable to expand without another
rebuild. I think that's an over-reaction

4. Emotional and boredom shopping

This is where the self-discipline will come into play the most. I think instead of barring myself from shopping, I need to ask myself questions:
-> Does this actually build my wardrobe? Is it a thoughtful choice that fills a hole, helps build additional outfits, or supplements a category I use a great deal?

If it isn't clearly a yes, I will make a kind of virtual "holding zone". Probably a picture and some notes on my phone, so it will work whether I'm online or in person. Then I will wait a week, and ask myself:
-> Do I really want this item, or would I rather put that money toward other item X that I need more? I know it helps if I have a specific item "X" in mind.

I'm so glad for this post, even though I took it in a different direction than solely budget. The factors can't be totally isolated from each other.

7 years ago

General

13 replies

Latest reply was from Bijou

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Slowing down is key for my budget. I've been recently reading more about color, color temperature, contrast, texture and all things related to that and fashion. It has made me slow down a bit more than usual and really think about what it is I'm buying and if it is truly "right" for me. Maybe that would also help for you? One good place for this is here:
https://insideoutstyleblog.com
or here:
http://www.idealiststyle.com/b.....ing-colors

I can literally spend hours reading and looking at images and thinking about color.

Returns get tiresome, so that also helps me slow down. I can "browse" now and when I see something I take the time to analyze it more and more. Do I already have something like this? Do I know the brand? Is it really the right color for me? Do I like the fabric? Where will I wear it? Will it need alterations? Etc. Sometimes that is enough to just make me move away and do some actual work! Seriously - it really helps me to stop just "impulse buying" and make sure I'm building on my wardrobe for good use.

I recently ordered the olive crossbody bag Angie rec'd. It's super cute, but you know, it's just not right for me. The somewhat large zipper scratches my hand when trying to reach into it and that itself is a deal breaker. If I had taken more time to analyze this before ordering, I might have saved the time and trouble of the return. Will I still browse olive bags, you bet I will, but I will more carefully hone in on the specific features before ordering one again. Or I'll use my taupe/grey bag in the interim and be happy I saved the $$$.

7 years ago

Ginger

Veteran

I do love color stuff like that! I've come to the conclusion that I'm in the middle of most spectrums: I'm on the cool side, but slightly. My best metal is definitely rose gold, neither silver nor yellow gold. Mustard is probably my very worst color; other warm tones aren't the best, but bring out the red tints in my hair. Gray is also pretty bad, and similar icy tones aren't good. Other than that, there are very few colors I really can't wear. My contrast level is probably on the higher side, but not dramatically so. I favor either all light or a balance of light and dark or dark and bright; all dark is usually too much for me. I really like mixing textures, especially in winter when I can layer.

So I like all that a lot. I'm very picky with my shopping and eliminate about 90% of what I see. The 10% is my weak spot!

I've been very bad about doing returns in the past. Not laziness, I basically didn't acknowledge that it was an option! I didn't realize that I was allowed to take it home and think about it some more. YLF has very much helped in this respect. I've made some key returns earlier this year that I'm very proud of.

I'm so glad you didn't settle for that olive bag. It's so good to recognize when an item really isn't the best for you. That's what I need to work on: the perception that it's not the best, and that I will be okay without it.

7 years ago

Anonymous

Don't take the tags off until you're over your emotions!

I also think that you are a prime candidate for a wardrobe plan because of how well you do know your style and what you like.

I'm surprised you would lemming anything, Ginger. You seem very in tune with what you like and are not a copier. (I do often copy, ha!)

Setting a realistic budget will be the key for you. You need to deal with the guilt. You're either truly spending too much or you need to set the budget higher or you need to find ways to get what you want for lower prices. I think second hand (online) is a great way to stay within your budget. (Always sales shopping is less intentional.)

7 years ago

JAileen

Veteran

I was going to tell you how great my willpower has been, not buying this bag. Well, I just checked, and it's on sale. I even put it in my shopping basket. So far, my willpower has been holding. I know, no medals for not buying it!

Zappos

Rebecca Minkoff Sunday Large Saddle

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7 years ago

Ginger

Veteran

Smittie, you are so right! I need to leave the tags on!

I was afraid of doing a wardrobe plan last year. I'm an emotional dresser, and I enjoy variety; I could imagine being boxed into something limited. But I think I have come far enough now, both mentally and in wardrobe building blocks, that I could make a good try.

And yeah, I doubt I would actually lemming! But when other people are buying fun things sometimes I feel the peer pressure!

The budget will be both, I think, though it also depends on a wardrobe plan. I'm getting a lot better at targeted bargain shopping, too. My navy boots are from Poshmark, as is my new handbag. Both far above my budget new, but achievable this way. And in both cases I was looking for something very specific, not just browsing while bored.

7 years ago

Ginger

Veteran

LOL JAileen! It's hard to win in this game!

7 years ago

Meredith

Veteran

What a great read, Ginger. It sounds like you're make huge progress! Also, don't be afraid to plan. I'm sure you'll still have ample opportunity to shop emotionally but also strategically.

7 years ago

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Regarding emotional shopping, I really enjoy shopping, particularly second hand shopping, but I have slowly trained myself to enjoy rejecting as much as accepting. Walking out empty handed can be a boost too!

7 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

You know, it's so funny. One of my wardrobe goals this year was to spend a 'whopping' amount of money on a fashioniable top or bottom. I will spend the $$ on coats and shoes, but not, you know, the clothes. So I wanted to do this *like* once. This has been a big fail.

I think there are a number of reasons for this. Coats and shoes matter most to me in terms of keeping me comfortable and presentation (I think you can rescue a gas station tee shirt with good shoes and a good coat). I can't imagine getting a good CPW out of such a purchase. I'm not gonna wear a silk blouse to garden, bake, or hike with the dog. I'm afraid of spending a lot on something trendy, because they always say 'invest in the classics' - but that's what I should do, since I'm not a classic dresser, esp if I'm afraid of poor CPW.

But the funny thing is, reading Angie's blog this morning - I also realised I have no budget line item for this. My clothes count as entertainment to me. I don't *need* new clothes in anything akin to a basic way, as with shoes and coats (ETA: these *do* get line items). So I'm asking myself, do I want to see a movie or do I want a sweater? My head isn't there at all.

So something like this - or a style renewal such as you are going through - maybe deserves a special line item. Like a three-month safari or other unusual endeavour...

7 years ago

Ginger

Veteran

Thank you, Meredith! I will make a plan. I think it will work out just fine.

shevia, I've just recently discovered that. My local Dillards has been turned into a clearance center, which is actually pretty terrific. (I mean, a bummer for the mall, but it's a great place to shop when you're looking for specific things. Good merchandise, better organized than regular sale racks. I went for the shoes, which are organized by size and then color. It's a thing of beauty.)

Anyway, I had time to kill, so I spent at least 30 minutes going through the racks of size 6 dresses. There were so many! I only tried on 8 dresses, and they were all clear No's. I wavered on one, a good quality sweater dress, but the fit wasn't all it could be. I knew I could probably find one that fit better later this year, so I left it. I felt so good to leave it all! And then finding two pair of shoes that fill two wardrobe holes. It was a good trip.

Rachy, I remember when you made that resolution! I would have the very same problem. I simply don't wear single actual garments that frequently. A coat or shoes, though, I will wear a lot. And when you do want to stay trendy, it's doesn't seem like the wisest purchase.
But yes, you absolutely need a separate line item for it! It's like saving for the NAS, since you don't know precisely what you're looking for. But it's like having permission to spend that when it's already set aside. Opportunity cost already accounted for.

7 years ago

Laura G

Veteran

Ginger, you already have a wardrobe plan: it's your style goals. My question is, are you actually considering items in light of your style goals when you shop?

I second Smittie's suggestion of second hand. It's not for everyone. But for someone who knows her own style, especially someone like you whose style is not lock-step with what's trendy now, it can be a great way of lowering costs.

7 years ago

Ginger

Veteran

Laura, I really do keep those style goals in focus. I am mostly finished with my closet edit. I culled about 10% of the dresses I bought in the last year. A few more are wearing out quickly and will be replaced next year. It's pretty much the same for the shoes I've bought, too. So it's not that I'm spending poorly, just in a quantity I haven't budgeted for!

Secondhand is great! It can be trickier to budget, though. Like when the navy Aquatalia boots showed up on Poshmark. I hadn't saved for them, since I honestly never expected to see them. (I had an epic stalk of a couple pair of booties on eBay early this year, too.) So it's tricky to decide when to look and when to not. If I look I may find, and have to spend immediately. But if I don't look, I may miss a HEWI for a dream price!

7 years ago

Bijou

Veteran

Ginger I have read your post with interest. Whilst I maintain a budget, I can accept it is not for everyone and my budget is somewhat loose, it depends upon what other priorities I have (whether saving for a special holiday etc).
I do think giving yourself permission for a few items that make you happy is the way to go. For me, a ratio of 75% practical and 25% fun / whimsical works for me, as I really enjoy clothing and dressing. This is a personal decision, but I do find that if I truly love something, I will wear it.

7 years ago

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