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why i don't post photos

bj1111

Veteran

kim had a post earlier asking why many ylf members don't post or don't post regularly. initially i said time/energy. this is still (unfortunately) true. but lately, when i do think about posting, i'm too freeeeeking intimidated by all the fabulosity you ladies have.

i know...if i read this post (rather than wrote it), i would say "get over it"...BUT...

General

24 replies

Latest reply was from Polly (thunalata)

Barbara

Veteran

Hey bj,

Please don't be intimidated. True, everyone here is fabulous, but also very nice, down-to-earth and helpful. Especially our Angie. I have learned SO much in the couple of months since I discovered YLF. We are different ages, have widely varied lifestyles and interests, with a common thread: FASHION! That's what makes it so much fun!

NOTE: I have yet to post a pic myself!

kellygirl

Veteran

I know exactly how you feel. It takes me several days to get the nerve to post something. Usually I follow through--sometimes not. The feedback is invaluable so it's kind of worth putting myself out there even though I often times feel sub par. We're all on our own fashion journey and I try not to compare myself to everyone else.

Louise

Veteran

Bj1111 trust me we have all been where you are now. When you do feel up to posting piccies you will only get support and helpful advice Angie would not have it any other way, and it could be you are more fabulous than you think or that will some helpful advice for tweeks you could easily get there x

Queen Mum

Veteran

bj-- I agree with what the others have said. It is intimidating, but I always have to remind myself that this is not a fashion show, it is a place to learn and challenge our style comfort zones. LIke Kelly said, we are all on our own journey and comparing ourselves to others is simply not productive.
We're looking forward to seeing you post when you are ready.

Maya

Veteran

I don't post for the same, yet opposite reason as you (and other reasons too, that probably make a lot more sense than what I just wrote). So I sympathize. But I used to grit my teeth and just do it, and there is just no comparison. My style would not be what it is now if I never posted...and I first posted long before I even had a sense of the tone of this community (constructive, encouraging, kind, respectful, etc). I was prepared for a lot of nasty comments that never happened. And aside from what I'm about to say, you know they won't happen too, so...quit being a sissy and just post :p

Vix

Veteran

BJ1111 --

Awwww, sorry you are feeling low/intimidated...but you're right, you WOULD tell someone else to get over it, ha.

But what everyone posted above is so true.

And remember Marketing 101 -- it's all about the spin. So start a thread called, "October Fashion Goals: What I'm Wearing to Cover my Naked Butt" and all your choices will automatically make you a success -- and I'm betting some of them will be hits across the board.

[Or will become hits with some YLF-suggested tweaks.]

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I totally understand, my first posts are full of comments about 'not feeling ready to post' but honestly once you have done it for the first time it becomes a breeze. I have to admit that taking pictures but not posting also gave me invaluable perspective on my style. Mirrors do lie!

I just know from your replies that you ooze style and edge.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

a picture is worth a thousand words!! Besides, I found by jumping in with both feet, I also now have a visual record for myself of how to change up an item. I'm just keeping them all in one folder for now, but I can see arranging them in a system at some point in the future for reference.

Jonesy

Veteran

I agree with everyone else--it does feel hard but it does get easier! It can feel very vulnerable to do it, and sort of awkward, but the feedback is such a great reality check, and so helpful, that I would encourage you to do it!

One thing I really love about this site is the diversity of women who post pics: different bods, different lifestyles, different styles, etc. I love seeing how all of us here can pull off different things fashion-wise, try new looks and grow, and have fun, despite our full and busy lives. It's inspiring.

If you post, you will be contributing to that rich diversity and making the site even better!

firefly

bj1111, I really understand where you're coming from. However I took the view that there's no point in comparing myself to anyone else; I'm here to learn and improve my own style quotient, and if the best way to do that was to post photos then so be it! I hope we get to see an outfit sometime

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Barbara, you are fab :). Thanks for your perpetual insight and positive attitude on this forum.

Maya, you crack me up.

bj111, remember that fashion unites us, but its style that sets us apart. Look at how no one person looks like a cookie cutter version of someone else even when they're wearing the same item! That's amazing. Everyone inspires each other around here and I have no doubt that you will inspire others too. So start posting those pictures

lady

bj1111,

you've hit the nail on the head for me. For the past 2 weeks I've thought about taking a picture and jumping in the fray and then I punk out. too afraid that my meager clothing will not read as 'style' when I post. my body type seems so different than what I regularly see posted, ect......

i'm uncertain what i want to post for.....what are my intentions? i don't want to clutter up the forum with boring outfits...i doubt no one would be 'inspired' by what i put together since everything i wear is simply inspired by something i saw or read.

everyone has been very nice and friendly. so i'm sure it's a case of stage fright. i participated a few times in a OOTD forum Spring of '09....only a few posts and my sense of style feels a lot more secure since then....i think i know enough now to be intimidated versus back then i was clueless, lol.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

bj, I had the same concerns (and still have) but after the first picture post I have never looked back! It is amazing how much you can get from the feedback on this forum - from a self-esteem boost to tips and tricks to take your outfit from "just OK "to "wow"! That was really priceless and eye-opening and it would have never worked for me from just reading the blog entries (even though they are incredibly helpful).
And believe me, I HATE myself in pictures - I think I have the least photogenic appearence on Earth!:-) However I just don't allow this to stop me on my journey to my Potential Fabulousity (I think I just made this word up :-))
So I think this should be an YLF order for you to post at least one outfit next week!:-)

Mo

(website)

Veteran

another thought that came to me was that we are out 'there' everyday in the world in our clothes, so showing pics here is probably an even safer venue than the world at large, right?

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Hey, if your outfits suck the forum will help you make them better! In fact, I have purposely posted outfits I hate at one point or another because I know the forum will point out the tweaks that need to be made. We're all here to learn, not just to show off! So don't think you have to have everything perfect before you post...that would take away the main reason to post in the first place!

Scarlet

Veteran

I can tell by the comments you make that you have a very sharp sense of style. Please do not deny me your fabulosity! I understand the hesitation because I start to doubt everything before posting photos, but there is really nothing to lose. I learn a lot from the feedback I get and also just from seeing the photos myself. On top of that it is wonderful to be able to get a professional's opinion from Angie.

tarzy

Veteran

bj - I'm in a writer's workshop, and the teacher always tells us to bring in our worst work, because we don't really learn or grow when we just get praise. On YLF - of course it feels good when everyone gushes over a particular outfit, but I learn the most when people give me suggestions about specific accessories or shapes - or explain why something isn't quite working. I also learn an incredible amount from looking at other people's outfits, and I feel a sort of obligation to throw a few of my own into the pot. So maybe you can think of it as doing your duty to the group to post an outfit? (No pressure, though!)

bj1111

Veteran

thanks, tara,

now i feel like a sissy AND guilty!

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Was going to add an encouraging thought but I see from your comment that our work here is done

catgirl

Veteran

I feel the same way... and I can't seem to take a photo of me where I'm not making a goofy face! I think wearing sunglasses may be the key. I'll take the plunge if you do.

lady

hey bj1111, I took this as a challenge and posted my 1st WIW.

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ost-228776

The sky hasn't fallen...of course we'll see what happens later, lol.

shana

Veteran

Well, now that you have made this post, you can be sure to get lots & lots of responses to your wiw pictures!!!!

I understand what you're saying. I have learned SO much from WIW posts that others post of the forum. I don't post alot of WIWs because honestly, most of them are pretty boring and my style runs to a more vanilla, classic flavor which I don't think appeals to the majority. For me, posting a picture is like taking a giant leap off of a cliff and hoping that there is a safety net below!! I notice that my every day looks don't get alot of feedback/responses but a special occasion look will. Since most people won't comment for looks that they don't like, the message I get is that these looks suck. I'm guess I'm not very good at putting casual looks together I am very grateful to the handful that do respond and most importantly to Angie who I notice will almost always take the time to respond to EVERY single WIW post. And what more could a girl want - feedback from a professional fashion stylist, especially one as fabulous as Angie???

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks, Shana. *blushing* (Btw, your casual looks are great and I have often said so!)

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

bj - like the others, I found it really helpful when I took the plunge and started posting WIW's. It's taken me a long while to find my feet - I was really 'feeling in the dark' initially.

shana - know what you mean. I don't post if I'm not sure that what I'm seeing works and (more importantly) if I don't know what to say that will help as opposed to just be negative. [also there are some looks that are too advanced for me - I don't comment because my eye isn't adjusted to the look yet] The people who do post are FAB - look at what they say and how they say it - small suggestions carefully written.

bj - that should give you encouragement - people are reluctant to post negative things, but they also tend not to post false positives - they only say what they think. It was only when I started to post pictures that I really started to make progress.

lady - I've just commented on your WIW and don't you look GREAT!