Why are you here? - YouLookFab Forum

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Why are you here?

Olivegreen

I lurked for a while on YLF, attracted by Angie's clean modern style, never looked at the forum. When I did look at the forum, i enjoyed the mostly goal oriented discussions, and the humor. A nice part of the internet.
I stick around partly because of the above, but also because it is useful for me to stay somewhat current with self presentation.
I am 60 this year, still have a semi-professional role, but am mostly retired. This means the money is not there for the professional presentation, nor the need for it, but time and the ability to make thoughtful choices are.
At my age and stage, I am highly amused by the fact that if I do not wear overly bright colors, kittens on sweatshirts, and bathe and brush regularly, I am pretty much home free as a respectable older woman. Never have to care again....
In short, I am held to the same criteria as my 85 year old mom. Neither of us is interested in the above (except for the hygiene )
But this fashion thing still fun. Because it talks to people, what you wear.
So I hang with you all. Talking about it. Appreciate your thoughts on how it intersects with your life.
Why are you here?

Off Topic

33 replies

Latest reply was from DonnaF

Twinkling

(website)

I'm here because I've scoured the internet trying to find a friendly, open place of other fashion enthusiasts.

I know that sounds like a super generic, vague answer, but it's true. I love fashion, but I don't seem to understand it very well. I started using it a few years ago as a real means of expression and since then I've been struggling to really figure out how that applies to me. Unfortunately, life circumstances are shifting faster than I can piece things together, so by the time I think I get one aspect of my style down, something else in my life changes (like graduating and finding an office job) that changes everything all over again that I have to work around.

I feel like I'm stuck in a very awkward age when it comes to fashion, too young to be stuck to too many "rules", yet too old to get away with anything and still look cute. Add that my personal tastes err on the side of super feminine, girly and sweet, and I start to fear I'm looking too childish or silly and my only option is to opt for a more "mature" look that does nothing for me emotionally.

Hopefully that further elaborates a little more on why I'm here, and how I really hope I can grow a better understanding of my style and who I am while I'm here.

Summer

Veteran

I found YLF a few years ago when I was searching for info on capsule wardrobes. I soon got hooked on Angie's blog, and, later, found the forum. I had never participated on a forum before so it took me some time to gather the courage to join, but now I wish I'd done it ages ago. I learn something new daily, and I love interacting with such a lovely, diverse group of women. Everyone is so friendly and considerate.

I'm more interested in the nitty-gritty of dressing and wardrobe planning than fashion itself, but, at the same time, It's good to see what others are wearing and how they put things together. It all helps to keep me on my toes so that I don't fall into the dreaded frump trap.

The only downside is that I spend far too much time here!

harmonica

Veteran

I lurked around in the beginning, too. After three pregnancies, body changes and life style changes I was completely lost when it came to dressing myself (no problems with the kids' need, though ;-)) and fashion. The forum and blog helped me stay up to date, give me confidence in how to dress, as well as shopping and purging, and also experiment with new looks/pieces. It has been a very slow process.

I've continued to stay around because YLF keeps me updated and adds a lot of fun and individuality to the fashion carousel. However, the most important reason why I'm still hanging around is the warm, supportive, empathetic, open, respectful and tolerant etc etc community. These are the core of the forum spirit and etiquette which I find invaluable.

Peri

Veteran

I came looking because I needed so much help. I'm 55 so I get what you are saying...it is so hard to look "right" anymore. If we don't try we are frumpy (Hate that word)...if we try too hard we look like we are chasing youth or something. I used to have a hard enough time just finding things I liked, now I have to factor in what looks too young.

I'm less clueless thanks to YLF but still quite challenged.

Traci

Veteran

I came for the fashion advice, but stay for the camaraderie. I've learned many life lessons here about the power of positive reinforcement, grace, compassion and boundaries.

I also like that it is a very positive crowd discussing a topic that can get critical real fast in other venues. How we present ourselves on the outside is so deeply personal, and I like having a space where I can discuss those decisions without fear of someone body shaming me or calling me a nasty name.

And I like the fact that I can set my own participation schedule, and there's no guilt in that. People apologize for absences, but there's no passive aggressive comments when someone pops in and out. I like that I can come back when I have time.

harmonica

Veteran

You're spot on, Traci.

Diana

Veteran

I like to talk about clothes. And most of my fashion-y friends have moved away so I don't really have shopping/fashion buddies IRL.

Plus the people here are the nicest. =)

crutcher

Veteran

I just absolutely love clothes, shoes, fashion, fashion topics, etc...I find a great deal of information at YLF and I have fun talking about fashion stuff...
This is a warm place to fall...full of knowlegable women who happen to also be kind...
I guess this sums up my why am I here...I spend a lot of time and some money with this fashion hobby and I love to look "puttogether" when I venture out into the world beyond my door...smile...I may get older but I am one of those who will never be old...I am thankful for that...

Anonymous

I have always needed to look my best. Not so much before college as I always wore uniforms to school, but once I never had to don those shirtwaist uniforms anymore I had a blast finding my own fashion persona.

What my mother always thought I would look great in did not mesh with my own self perceptions so I started looking at all the popular fashion magazines. When I entered the corporate world I rocked the "business look" and always got complimented on both my stylish professional and outside of the office look. Fast forward to leaving the corporate world and entering the SAHM phase, I needed help and none was to be found. Magazines addressed the corporate female or the younger non-SAHMs. I was at a loss to find any fashion inspiration. Then came the internet in all its blogging and fashion forum glory which has been extremely instrumental in trying to figure things out for this 58 year old. Forums like these have helped me recover my fashion persona and I am no longer at a loss to look my best again

donnat

Veteran

I love clothes and fashion. YLF is like a fashion magazine with feedback. I mostly lurk, but am trying to be more active.
The culture here is one of respect and no one is slighted or bashed. The people here are lovely and non judgemental. It is a safe place to ask a question, share an outfit photo, or get an opinion. Heck, this group is even nice to Internet trolls. I have learned alot here, and consider this my hobby.
Angie's blog is a wealth of information and very inspiring. I like that Angie herself answers questions and we can trust that she isn't saying what she thinks we want to hear.
It's fun coming here,

Olivegreen

Friendly, open, kind, and considerate. Plus useful info...
Yes to all of this.
I like that people can get feedback, and it is almost always skewing positive, as in this direction is good, that one maybe less so. Very rare to find that level of consideration.
That is a top-down effect with Angie, you think?
It is remarkable to me how many changes women go through and how we are required (till we become older and less expected to be on what I used to call "attraction duty") to kit out a new body, new expectations, and a new persona, so many times.
It is labor and money intensive to think through, find, purchase, and then learn to wear and style, each change.
Yup, yup and yup.
And so many options! Maximal and minimal, flowy and body con, earth mothers and rainbow brights. This month!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I like fashion and the art of fashion and didn't want to head into the second half of life dressing like so many of the women I see who seem to have lost their concern for appearance. I stay because of Angie - she offers so much through this forum, and not just fashion - and because of the members who are always supportive, gentle and welcoming.

Anonymous

I've always liked dressing well, and like chatting about it with people who recognize the importance of it (for self esteem, if for nothing else) as much as I do. The people on this forum are kind and friendly. Even when they have a different opinion or a suggestion to make, it's always made with respect. And Angie? She's the best!

Anonymous

I came to YLF because I love fashion and clothes, then I stayed because of the warmth and generosity of everybody on here. Non of my real life pals are interested in fashion, so it's the only place to get my regular fix too.

Gaylene

Veteran

I came for the fashion talk and stayed for the fun I have talking with a group of interesting women.

At 65, I'm not ready to give up on fashion. I don't post pics because that's not the kind of help I need. What I do want is to pushed out of a rut when it comes to looking at fashion. Instead of dismissing trends, I want to figure out what I can take from them to make my wardrobe more fun and interesting to me. I also adore the analytical discussions some of us are prone to throwing out there to help me figure out why fashion still plays a role in my world even though I don't need it to define me...

Niki Lea

Veteran

I joined four years ago when my first child was about three and I'd lost any sense of my identity, outside of just "mom". It's been a long, long process and only just now do I feel like I'm becoming "me" again.

Fashion has played a big part of that - learning to express myself again by wearing more than what is comfortable only. I'm still not super adventurous (neither is my personality), but I like to push my boundaries and YLF helps me continue to grow.

Also, I think you're all funny and kind people.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I've always loved fashion. I will just bump what everyone else said but I will add that I stay because of the kindness of the people from the top down to the bottom up. YLF is a safe zone. I can throw a thought or a picture out to YLF and someone will always respond. With humor, Kindness, empath, sympathy, Constructive criticism pluss more. With a indepth or short response and everthing in the middle..

I often wonder if we met in real life would we even talk to each other? So many people now never even look you in the eye let alone hold a conversation.

Daria

As many here, I love talking about clothes, and I don't know anybody IRL who is particularly interested in the topic.
Also, the ladies here are the nicest and the most helpful.

Olivegreen

I think we would talk to each other. If only to say how pretty a look is, or where did you get that stunning find.
A lovely much older woman tells me that what she is most proud of is that others never did define her. She reserved that right for herself.
I think taking some thought for what our appearance tells others taking a certain power to your self, as you are able to do it.
I know It is important to take into account, and exert some control of your image in business, interviews, arts and culture, teaching, and any leadership role.
Including mothers who do so much of the unsung work at home, or as volunteers.
Sally of Already Pretty blogged last week about how women will not take opportunities to excel in the public eye because of the harsh criticism leveled at our physical being and representations.

Deborah

Veteran

Olivegreen I have really been enjoying your participation on the Forum, it's really nice to have you here!

I happened across YLF when I was googling something fashion related about 4 years ago and honestly felt like I had struck gold. I am a little obsessed with style and have only one friend who can keep up with me on the topic. I love to learn, dicuss and apprecate various styles and YLF is such an enjoyable place to spend time. I am also so appreciative of the openness here and the acceptance of different styles and opinions. And some of my online friendships here have spilled over into real life (namely many of the Aussie contingent) and that has been a real blessing.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

I am here because I began blogging after gaining weight when my mother was sick and passed away. I lost the weight and began a blog to get back into self care. I love this blog because it is a wonderful community of people who love fashion and personal style. It is a place to see what is current and to gain lots of knowledge and inspiration. there is nothing else like it and quite frankly it is addictive, lol

Style Fan

Veteran

I stumbled on YLF when I was on another blog over a year ago. I had followed other blogs but Angie really impressed me. I loved her fashion advice and her ensembles. The forum seemed like such a great place to discuss outfits and ideas. I had retired and didn't need to dress professionally but I still loved fashion.

When I was working I had a few co workers I talked to about fashion. We would discuss our outfits and give advice. I really missed this part of work life. DH and I moved 3 hours from our previous home so I rarely see my old friends.

I also like the fact that I can spend some time here and then leave if I am travelling or busy without it being a problem. Angie has created a great atmosphere on the forum. The woman here are very kind, helpful, positive and empathic.

Sara L.

Veteran

I post WIW's because I don't have anyone IRL who really notices my outfits. I work in a male oriented field so I don't think my co workers notice or care what I wear. I also enjoy the discussions on fashion and Angie's blog with practical advice on how to wear new trends. I enjoy seeing how others are taking that advice. I like how everyone on the forum is so nice and encouraging.

retailgirl

Veteran

I just sort of came across YLF and lurked for a long while. I'm probably not too active, I'm not too tech savvy but I love reading everyone's posts and commenting. I have loved clothes and dressing nicely my whole life. It may be partly why I chose retail as a career. And even though In retail you're surrounded by clothing , many people in my industry are not necessarily into fashion. It's more of a business. We could be selling widgets! But as I get older I want to look age appropriate and stylish. I'm a classic dresser and that can easily slide into frumpdom. I think I have a signature look, my own personal style. I've been buying variations of the same clothes for thirty or forty years now, just adapting to what's in style now. anothervthing I like about YLF is just how nice everyone is...open, accepting, non- judgmental.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Olivegreen, what a great question and I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the subject, as well as the varied replies.

I could say the same as most others here. I came because I was at a crossroads -- in my life, in my style -- and I stay because I've found a community of women who love fashion and/or personal style and who are some of the most thoughtful, insightful, funny, kind, and generous souls I've met! Angie sets the bar really high and we all stretch to meet it.

rachylou

Veteran

I came across YLF looking around for some help with some wardrobe problems - lack of cohesiveness, closet overload, and style gone mushy. I felt Angie was pretty brilliant with the formulas concept, and was compelled to keep delving further. Everything only got better.

I'm interested in fashion from a variety of perspectives as well, not just getting myself dressed, including the intellectual... despite the fact that I'm pretty air-heady. Lol. No one seems to mind my yammering in either mode, and everyone has such interesting things to say. Everyone is so thoughtful.

But perhaps the core matter is I aspire to Angie's gentle, kind civility and that of all the lovely YLF'ers. It's very peaceful here in a lively way!

Olivegreen

It took me a while to find this little nook, and am another introvert, bit slow to warm up!
But consistent intelligence and kindness is hard to resist. Add in visual beauty and I am in.
I have never been to a meet up and imagine we are all in different fashion 'tribes' and circumstances, which I really value. Should call for a Texas one soon.
Would love to meet you all.

Anonymous

Deborah took the words right out of my mouth. Her experience and mine are very like - only I've been here a much shorter time - coming up on a year. And yes, I would also like to say that I'm enjoying your participating a lot too madame Olivegreen! I had never been on a forum before and had no idea what to expect, but I am quite please I jumped in when I did! I'm very appreciative of all I get out of it.

Sal

Veteran

I found this place through a link from a UK based blogger I had been following (Catherine from Not dressed as Lamb). I started with the archives of the blog and then discovered the forums.

I am on a forum for cooking/foodies (a NZ forum) but only dive in and out, and the forum owner seems to have lost interest in maintaining it.

I was so nervous about a WIW!! I have come to feel comfortable discussing clothing, fashion and so much more. I really appreciate the way Angie and Inge are active in the forum, encouraging us along. I like the diversity from fashion forward members to those of us wanting a little bit of tweaking, to those who are right at the beginning. I like the variety of ages, lifestyles, locations, work settings and budgets represented. I like that there are maximalists and minimalists, and most of all I appreciate the kind supportive and often humourous environment. Being in NZ I shop at different places than most of you, and we have different norms and fashions, but it is amazing how many things are the same.

I turn 45 next month and I want to make wise choices with my clothing, to look Elegant Effortless Everyday...I sure as heck do not always achieve that.

I do have one confession though - I have not told DH that I am on this forum. He just would not understand, as he is not a social media person at all...I have been wondering if I should do this as it does seem a little dishonest.

Thanks Olivegreen, and thanks to all the forum members, it has become a fun part of my life.

And my name is Sally, some of you know that already

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