Who’s in your immediate circle? - YouLookFab Forum

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Who’s in your immediate circle?

Runcarla

Veteran

...and how is ‘social distancing’ working for you?

Since March 13th I have been in close contact (less than 6 feet) with 3 people - DH and the 2 DS’s who live with us. This will be the norm for the foreseeable future. Grocery shopping, and a trip to the pharmacy is the next closest I’ve come to someone (the cashier). Otherwise I’ve been very far away from anyone else - waving at fellow walkers from across the street while out on a daily.

Since I’m an introvert, I’m doing okay with the ‘isolation’, and I’m well (no signs of illness.) I do not want to test myself with this virus, since I have an autoimmune condition and mild lung dysfunction as a result.

I know that my 80yo mother with ++health issues and a BIG E extrovert, stuck in an apartment in a Big City - isn’t doing as well, and I’m worried she might take unnecessary chances going out, or inviting folks in. I’m e-mailing her daily, and phoning 2-3 x a week. She’s doing some face-time visiting with a ‘ya-ya’ group she belongs to that used to meet in person. She is getting meals delivered daily by a family member, but that family member is keeping a distance.

I have other family who are behaving with various degrees of seriousness and compliance.

Are you willing and able to observe strict social distancing? Are you and yours okay with some isolation? Or are you missing human contact?

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45 replies

Latest reply was from Sara L.

Sal

Veteran

My husband and two sons only. We finish week one today. I have talked to neighbours across the fence at a 2m distance and on the street at the same. Streets are not super busy here so people can keep their distance and people are. I am off to the supermarket today and delivering some food to my Dad who is in a house in a retirement village. So I can’t see him- it is dropped at security.

My husband works in a job not on the frontline but where he can go to work. He certifies modifications and repairs to keep essential services operating - air ambulances, rescue aircraft, agricultural aircraft. There are two or three of them in instead of 14- the rest are at home.

I am being very cautious around close contact. We call it a bubble here. Don’t break your bubble. There are some bubbles with two families.

Anonymous

Just DH and the pets at home. We talk to our parents a lot, and friends- but many live an hour or more away and we rarely see them with my work schedule.

I'm working my main job from home, but no work for my second- cause it's all presentations and outreach events. DH had temporary work for the elections, but postponed- so he's just working on school full time.
We've had to go out quite a lot- for groceries, the vet, a bike repair, pharmacy. Not great, but at least our area is rural.
I'm not bothered by the isolation- since I have a metric c-ton of hobbies and they still let us go outside to exercize. DH is a homebody anyway, since his school and social life are online. But it's been less than 3 weeks, and once it warms up properly it may get to me!

My parents otoh, are total extraverts. Dad in a senior community in FL and mom in a house with a landlord in the city. They're booooooored, cause they're usually around people by choice and only have a few hobbies. So they watch TV a lot now :/

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Greg, Sam and me are in our Seattle home! Tous les trois. I'm an extrovert and coping well. Greg is an introvert and coping well. Sam thinks it's Christmas

(*Washington state - Seattle is in WA state - was hit first in the US so we have been at this for a while.....)

Staying at home ALL the time. Just taking Sam out a few times a day. Trying to do groceries every 2 to 3 weeks.

We are very good and very grateful. Healthy, extra positive, calm, productive, strong, working, and making a point of not spreading fear, or negativity. We are making the best of everything. Supporting those we can daily. Managing parental problems from afar daily. Keeping up spirits with friends and family daily.

What will be will be, and the only way out is through. Laughing when it's appropriate - amidst the huge hole in my heart that is crying for the world all day and night. I do sleep even more badly now and am quite distracted. Glued to the news.......

TRYING to get my Dad to stay home. So far so good. He is sort of getting the problem with the pandemic - although it's very hard for him to remember with his dementia. We are all doing what we can. Speak to him every day.

Carla, you and I have milestone birthdays this year. It was going to be or year of celebration. Good grief, how things have taken an unexpected turn!

But Seattle ROCKS and is flattening their COVID 19 curve due to excellent government leadership at a state level (not federal level). People are compliant and hopeful. This is on the flag on the space needle right now, and we can see it from our front door.

#wegoitthisseattle

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Jenn

(website)

Veteran

My social distancing crew is me, my husband, and our 19-year-old son.

We've been in our "bubble" as Sal says, since March 15, when kiddo returned from a trip to Colorado, but none of us have been to work or school since March 11. We've only gone out for neighborhood walks, to pick up takeout (rarely), and for groceries (twice) since then. More recently, we're even having our groceries and takeout food delivered with no-contact drop-offs.

Our county (which, granted, has twice the population of many states) has over 3000 confirmed cases and 54 deaths. It isn't the hardest hit place in the country, but those numbers are certainly sobering enough to keep us inside for the foreseeable future.

Diana

Veteran

Just me and my husband. We are both working from home and only going out for walks and the grocery store every 1-2 weeks. Very occasionally we need to go in to our offices (like, I’m authorized to go into the lab once a month) but it’s been ok because there’s usually nobody else there. We are not taking public transportation. I’m an introvert so I’ve actually been kind of enjoying it. It would be better without the anxiety though!

I’ve been knitting, cross stitching, reading, writing, and cooking up a storm. Indulging my inner wannabe food blogger over on Instagram stories.

oddly, I feel like I’ve become MORE social in this time of social distancing. People are very chatty online because we’re all at home all day.

lisaflex

Veteran

me dh and dd. go for lots of walks. i havent gone anywhere in 9 days i think. not even sure what day it is...lol.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Me,,the DH and the DD plus the hamster but Im not sure that he counts as hes always been anti social.I have only left the house once this week to go and get some veg from the allotment.Other than that I am at home or in the garden but as the majority of my week is spent like this anyway lm not finding it too hard .l do miss getting out to see the wider natural world at this time of year though and I miss my music group but we have all met up on line.At the moment it just feels abit like one long weird vacation but I am sure that will change with time.The DD is suffering most ,missing school and her friends .I keep telling her she’s living through history so to keep a journal and she will look back one day with interest.

rachylou

Veteran

Well, the inner circle is just Lilypup, but then I have a 6’ circle - my mum and coworkers. And all the new walkers in the neighborhood... they’re more like 12’. I’m not lacking for social interaction. Lol, I could use less.

Helena

Veteran

Me, hubs, DS and DD ... Just how i like it. I talk to my Dad every day, but my sister is his sole in-person visitor; since she lives alone and works from home now, they reckon the risk is far lower than the benefit of not being completely isolated. It is frustrating to see some people not taking thing a seriously and doing their share, but I'm hopeful that most are and that this will be enough to stem the tide!

Anonymous

Bubble of three here: daughter, husband and me. Daughter's boyfriend has been over a few times and although I am conflicted about that, I haven't said anything to her . Husband is in essential services and goes to work daily, and is not able to practice social distancing at all. It's not great, but there is nothing he can do about it. I have to report to work a few times a week, and am not able to practice the 6-foot rule with any degree of consistency. Again, not great, but complaints or comments from any of the staff to management are being waved away. I'm totally happy in my bubble keeping myself busy and intellectually stimulated which is more important to me right now than coffee with friends. I do notice from comments here that I'm having to hit the grocery store more often than most of you - and I wish I could be better at that. Truly, the only thing I'm really missing right now is the library !

JAileen

Veteran

Just my husband and me, and our pack of wild dogs.

Style Fan

Veteran

My circle is my husband and me. We are in Montreal and are planning to leave on Thursday. Both Quebec and Ontario are requesting people to stay at home and practice physical distance. Everything is closed except for grocery stores and other essential services. I have not been able to travel so we had to wait until I was well enough.
I went to the medical clinic on Sunday and took the metro. I felt like I was in an apocalyptic movie. There was nobody. Yikes. And then there was nobody at the clinic. I couldn't do a phone consult. They had to see me for lab work. Not Covid-19.
I have been fine. I am an introvert so this is almost normal for me. I do miss going to Yoga but Mr SF and I do virtual Yoga classes. I "talk" to people virtually. All good. Mr SF writes long emails. He likes to write.

Pat_P

This is hard for me - I’m naturally quite social. I still go to work 2-3 days a week, keeping my distance and sanitizing a lot, then work the other days at home. My circle is my husband and daughter. I shop weekly (trying for less but struggling to plan as well as I need to) and see friends for 6-foot walks on the many trails in our rural area. Outdoor exercise is specifically encouraged as long as we keep our distance.

Pat_P

Coming back to add that some of my state’s popular hiking and backcountry skiing locations were closed after this weekend because of too many visitors. Fortunately I live in an area with lots of little used trails, so I can get out in the woods daily. I feel very fortunate!

CarolS

Veteran

My circle is just me and DH. The last day i went into the office was March 17, but by then almost half our organization was already working from home. I've been WFH since March 18. I think I've been to a store once since then. Will probably go again later this week. DH's work is pretty much dried up at the moment. He has conference calls with his work group, but not sure what the next several weeks will look like for him. He's introverted but NEEDS to get out every day, so this is hard. Under normal circumstances, he's in the grocery store every day or two picking up small amounts. He's struggling with not enough to do and nowhere to go. I'm super busy with work. Would actually like some of the down time so many have (not total down time, mind you, and I am incredibly grateful EVERY DAY for my job. I know how fortunate I am.) My snowbird parents arrived home from a winter in Texas and are isolating in their home about 90 minutes away. It's very hard not being able to go see them, and knowing I probably shouldn't go see them any time soon. But we are soldiering on. Thank goodness for warming weather and relatively quiet streets to walk on.

kerry

Veteran

I’m in a bubble of three - with DH and DD. We are all coping with the isolation well. We’ve been in virtual household lockdown (minus DH’s work and groceries) since March 14th - well after we went to the airport to cancel our trip DD and I are at home all day (I’m a teacher) and we have a very busy (sometimes too busy - especially work) virtual life that sometimes I feel like I barely see her all day. My husband still works outside the home. He works in construction and is on a big site in heavy equipment by himself most of the day. We’re at shopping every 10-11 days but hoping to stretch that out more. I’m very careful when I go out. I did 4 Costco drive-bys over several days before I caught a time that was acceptable to me (tip: close to closing - maybe a dozen customers in the whole place ). Tomorrow I have a PC Express grocery pick up.

I’m so worried about my mom. She’s by herself since my stepdad died the end of 2018. We feel like we’re just coming out the other side of a year of grief and then this. She’s resilient but feeling lonely and bored. We FaceTime daily - often multiple times a day - DD FaceTimes her too. I’ve found two other family members to FaceTime her because most of her friends are not technologically savvy. I feel an awful amount of guilt that I haven’t visited her even though I know I’m not supposed to.

SarahD8

Veteran

Our bubble is just me, husband, daughter, and out two indoor cats. We are in Seattle and have been at this for a while. Husband has been working from home since March 3 and daughter has been out of school since March 11. I’m an introvert and it’s not all that different from my usual lifestyle but I have to say that what I really miss is solitude !

Anonymous

Kerry - I’m sorry you are worrying about your mom- not that you shouldn’t . I would too . I think a lot about older people and how this must be for them - hoping you can keep her feeling secure and loves during this time .

slim cat

Veteran

Our bubble is me, my daughter and her girl-friend that had been staying with us since last year. And our kitty, Keesya of course.
I'm on furlough starting today and will be applying for unemployment insurance next week. Still adjusting to our new life during Coronapocalypse.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Just my husband and me (plus adorable dog) but I am still visiting my mum, who is in her 80s and lives alone. I have been physical distancing with her for about 6 weeks now. When I visit, I sit over 2 metres from her and at an angle to her (not face to face, which we are told is riskier, and no hugging or kissing of course). I try to avoid touching anything in her home and I wipe down anything I do touch as I leave. I have to keep seeing her because I help her with her house (eg I mow her lawns) and because she needs me! She’s had all her other activities cancelled and is now completely isolated. I call her every day and visit every other day. Lately I take her for walks to make sure she gets some exercise. I think this thing is devastating for older, single people. Especially if they are not tech savvy enough to do FaceTime etc, and many older people aren’t.

Brooklyn

Veteran

By the way, here they are now calling it “physical distancing” rather than “social distancing”. Maybe because they’ve figured out distancing is actually not a very social practice.

anchie

Veteran

Our bubble is my daughter, husband and me. DD has online school and my office started WFH as of 13th March. This is fortunate because there are already 10 people infected at work and otherwise it would have spread like wildfire in our 5 000 people office building complex.
We order groceries online and are staying inside. I talk to my parents and my son daily and what is getting to me is that with borders closed and flights grounded there is no way for me to see them or bring my son back home. My son is in student dorm in UK and has accommodation hopefully until end of May. If things don’t improve until then I have no idea what to do. He should be graduating in May but who knows if that is going to happen now. With most students already gone home I worry that they would decide to close the dorm. He is stuck there with his two best friends who happened to be Chinese and Italian.

Anonymous

It's Mr. Xtabay and me, and cat Mickey makes three. I'm fine, since I'm an introvert, but Mr. X is an extrovert and he's bouncing off the walls somewhat. We are enjoying long walks around the neighborhood, and occasionally yelling across the street to our neighbors. Mr. X is a university prof and he's been busy getting up to speed with teaching his classes on Zoom. We're staying pretty busy, and I don't mind our cozy cocoon at all. I do miss going out to our favorite restaurant, though. I had a dream last night that I walked in, sat down, they brought me chips with my favorite salsa, and I was SO happy!

ChristelJ

Veteran

Introverts seem to be faring better in general. I am one too. It's hubby and me only in our home and he is normally WFH while I am a homemaker so it's not a shock to us staying in. Hubby's large family is just 30 minutes away but it feels like a distant galaxy away. We miss them so much. Texting and phone calling a lot. What I wouldn't give for a hug from our little granddaughter...

nemosmom

Veteran

Just me, DH, and 2 boys at home (with two cats and a pet frog). DH and younger son are very VERY extroverted and need constant attention, while my 7yo and I take turns hiding from everyone

I am used to being home alone, and having a fairly steady routine, and it's been difficult adjusting to having everyone around all the time. DH is on concalls most of the day, I have increased work hours, and now have to fit in homeschool for the two boys... I miss my downtime... and the quiet...

I have an autoimmune condition and have been paranoid about leaving the house - even to walk around the block. It's rather depressing. Family is my biggest worry - my dad lives alone on the other side of the country, and my in-laws are in their 80s and currently stranded in Florida. They were due home last week, but my MIL is worried about flying, so they are staying put.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

ChristieJ, I don’t know about that theory about introverts. Purely anecdotal evidence of my own experience, but I’m an introvert and I’m not handling this well. (Caveat: I am also prone to situational depression and anxiety, both of which are definitely a factor lately.) I am what might be called a gregarious introvert — I need socialization as much as I need my quiet time to retreat and unwind. And as a self-employed artist, every project and exhibition I was supposed to be working on right now is shelved indefinitely, so I feel useless and isolated. I have been wandering around by myself in quiet places making new work, but now with our state’s new “stay at home” order, my ability to work the way I do is seriously curtailed. One more connection to sanity has been cut off. I’m not one of those photographers who is going to start taking self-portraits at home, LOL.

I absolutely require alone time, but I am also restless and get cabin fever even under normal circumstances if I don’t get out of the house after a couple of days. It’s part of why, after years of working from home, I took a studio space in the city, to get me out of my house and in more social mode. Now the building is closed to us artists so I can’t even go in and work there. I’m lucky that I have a space at home, but I feel cooped up and frustrated.

My “bubble” is currently my husband and me, plus my youngest stepson has been staying with us for the last two weeks, for the benefit of his mental health. He will be going back home today (he has adjusted to an altered medication), so our bubble now shrinks to the two of us, plus our three dogs.

The last time I did anything social in person was March 14, when we had dinner with two other couples at a friend’s home, and even then I was washing my hands obsessively that evening.

Now we are adjusting to social calls being via Zoom and FaceTime. Strange new world!

PS. I realize that my post sounds like I’m depressed, and I am. I’m fighting it.

Jules

Veteran

It's the 4 of us (me, DH, two kids) at home only for the past 3 weeks. I'm an introvert and have been somewhat of a homebody for the past 5 years or so, so I'm relatively OK with this. Even my kids who were initially despondent are doing ok overall. The conflict for me is that withdrawing into my home and not making ongoing plans to go out, etc, are quite often an early warning sign, or at least correlated with, mild depression, so I am keeping an eye on that.
I'm grateful for my ongoing connections with friends, neighours, extended family and co workers.
I'm so grateful for my home and the big & small renovations we have done to make it nicer and more comfortable over the last several years, as well as the little things like the various bulbs I've gradually planted and the forsythias I've allowed to self spread and grow wild. Also happy that my kids are old enough to understand and mostly accept what's going on and also that they need to do some daily exercise outside to stay mentally and physically healthy. I feel good that I've modeled that to some extent even if it was sometimes in a negative way ("we aren't going to survive all being stuck at home together because (among a list of reasons) mom gets a bit grumpy if she doesn't go to the gym" was one of the initial reactions, lol).

Anyway, got a bit off track, but overall - I'm well suited to this, and it might actually be easier than I would have expected. Thanks for giving me an outlet for a bit of introspection

Edit, I've realized that the flowers I'm anticipating in my garden are giving me something to look forward to despite cancelled vacations (and the much more serious general global outlook), etc - having something to look forward to is important to my mental state, for sure. And one of the ways my kids are struggling. Food for thought.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Janet, absolutely right, there are different kinds of introverts and extroverts and combinations thereof. I am so sorry you are struggling with depression and being cut off from your studio and projects that help keep you sane. This stay at home thing is more of a shock to some folks than others. I am lucky not to feel as jolted as many do. I hate that you are feeling isolated now. You are incredibly gifted and I hope that you find some way to be creative that feeds you in these circumstances. Easier said than done.

I am glad to hear your stepson is doing better. Perhaps that is one stress lifted for now...

kerry

Veteran

I just wanted to add - though most are probably aware - that therapists are doing virtual sessions. I had a first in-person meet scheduled with a therapist March 9th but cancelled/postponed because I was diagnosed with shingles March 5th. I had decided to wait to reschedule until this was all over but then quickly realized that now was when I could use the most help/support. We had our first session yesterday and it was good. I’m not sure yet if she’s a keeper but it’s something

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