When are You an Older Person? - YouLookFab Forum

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When are You an Older Person?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm asking because it's an interesting question that - like fashion and style - is very subjective.

My 83 year old Dad thinks you're a youngster at 60. My 16 year old nephew thinks you're ancient at 40 (YES. Greg and I are old folk to him). You were old at age 30 in Medieval times. And now in 2015 - 50 year olds look more youthful than ever. But medically you're classified as older when your ovaries are old.

I have no clear cut answer for my own question other than that the goal posts shift as you get older. I welcome your respectful thoughts on this sensitive subject.

General

80 replies

Latest reply was from malin

Joy

Veteran

I really felt like an older person when my parents and most aunts and uncles were gone. It is sobering to be the oldest living generation in your family.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Wow. That's a good way of thinking about it, Joy. Most of my relatives have passed away too - but I am younger than you.

Deborah

Veteran

Such a good question Angie. I think it's relative, as you suggest and then I think it's how you feel. I often use the term 'mature age' rather than 'old' as I feel it reflects a respect for the person's life experience etc.

My Master 12 came home the other day from school and told me that he had told his two friends that I had just turned 50. Apparently the two boys responded with 'no way, your mum looks 30" lol and the word 'old' wasn't used ha ha.

Some people are old at 40 and some are young at 80. It's a mindset I think and varies from person to person.

One definition of 'old' is having lived for a long time!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is a good question, Angie. As you say, it all depends on who's asking, and why.

In my China program, one of the lovely Dutch lasses asked me how it felt to be an "older person" in the program. (There was a French couple around my age, but they did not attend many classes and fraternized only with each other, so didn't get to know the younger ones). I wasn't insulted, but it did feel peculiar to be labeled that way. Then again, my roommate was 22 and I am definitely older than that!

I tend to think of myself as in my middle years, still, in my 50s. I hope that turns out to be true.

JAileen

Veteran

It's all relative. My 90 YO mother thinks I'm young. My 27 YO son thinks I'm old.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

It's so true that when it comes to age, the goal posts shift as we get older. I remember when I was 16 and thought people in their 40s were old!

But I also think that age is just a number and you're as 'old' as you feel. I know several people in their 60s who look and feel young, and I know several in their 50s who feel they are old and have passed their prime.

Another big factor here is age-related illnesses. In India, you'll hear a vast majority of people in their 50's are already battling diseases that come with age. I think poor lifestyle choices and fitness levels are the biggest culprits, as is the 'mindset' of people in general. Things are getting better slowly though

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

HAH. Suz. To a 22 year old you're an older person for sure! But to my Dad you'd be a very young lass. He thinks I'm a baby. Middle years is a great way to think of it.

Debs, it IS relative. I do think of my 83 year old Dad as older. I think of my 70 plus clients as older. Despite the fact that they are absolutely young at heart and very hip and healthy - I do think of them as older. And that is not an insult.

carter

Veteran

Well...my ovaries are old. Most of the time I don't feel old though. I totally agree that "old" is a moving target as we age.

However, I will say that attitude and "currency" play a huge role. I have a client who is the same age as me, but I think of her as "old". She wears what I would call a dowdy look. She makes no effort to stay active. I don't think she's ever used sunscreen. She's smart, funny and so very thoughtful, I sometimes just want to shake her up a bit!

Anonymous

Great question! I'll start considering myself old when the creaking, cracking bones and joints mean I can no longer get down on the floor to play with a 5 year old.

Luckily my 84 year old Mum has no trouble doing just that, so hopefully I've been gifted with good genes!

Tania

Veteran

I sometimes feel like a puppy! Maybe it is because I am the youngest in my family, which is another variable among the others mentioned.

Joy

Veteran

Angie, you still have your dear Papa, so, at least psychologically, you are still a younger generation. Honestly, I still feel like I always have on some level, and am astounded when I see the old lady in the mirror.

Gaylene

Veteran

Well, I think it's when you look around and realize that a good percentage of the people you see on a regular basis--your doctor, your banker, your stylist, the people who walk by on the street--are obviously from a generation born after your own.

And, with all respect to other commenters, to me "being older" isn't about a "feeling" or a "spirit"; internally I feel much the same as I did in previous decades, and comments about my appearance and "spirit" being young or old have more to do with the speaker's perceptions and attitudes than with me.

Being an older person is a positive to me; being told I look or act "young" for my years seems faintly insulting--like being told I am looking or acting juvenile.

unfrumped

Veteran

Later!

always trying

Veteran

I certainly do not feel or dress as old as i am. I guess one is definately old when one has Medicare, is retired, and gets senior discounts at the carwash. But age is just a number!

Peri

Veteran

I read somewhere that old age is always 10 years older than your current age. Funny? True?

We will never pin it down. We are all still carrying perceptions from childhood. Grandparents were ancient when they were in their 50s. So people will tell me, "wow, you don't look 55!!!" and I never know what to make of that. What is 55 supposed to look like? And why can't it look exactly like me? 55 in 2015 doesn't look (or feel health wise due to medical advances) the same as 55 did in the 1950s, but somehow we haven't managed to update perception and prejudice.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

Perhaps the definition of older is relative and is simply in relation to our current age. I consider someone in their late 60s to be "older" because they are close to a generation ahead of me in my early 50s. When I was in my teens, I recall thinking 40 was ancient. My father refers to that "young" guy as someone in his 60s.

My son was telling me that his assistant was an older woman. It turns out she was my next door neighbor when we were kids and she was a friend of mine.

I used to think middle age was a misnomer because the age it referenced seemed not to be in the mid-point of life. It finally occurred to me that it is the middle of the adult life or 50s.

Sorry that was a fair bit of rambling to say very little. It is an interesting question.

Thistle

Veteran

My nieces think I am *ancient* They are 14, 11 and 8.

My grandmother told me she didn't really feel old until she started feeling lonely because all of her friends were dying and she was having a hard time making new ones because they were all youngsters. She has lived in the same town her whole life, so she'd had many of these friends since she was a little girl.

The other thing she told me was she felt old when her knee started hurting every day and the doctors couldn't;t do much about it. As she said, that was never a problem when she wasn't old. She's now 89.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

Thistle has a very good point. Perhaps it is when you feel older.

rachylou

Veteran

Ok... When you've formally retired healthy eating and have subsequently eaten all the butter you can enjoy and now your kids can't find anything to eat in your fridge because soy milk and rice thins don't cut it... Old then is coming round the bend.

25, tho, is a fully matured adult. At 30, the kindergarteners had better be calling you by 'Ms' and your last name. If they aren't, you need to card everyone who asks you out and consider a change of footwear...

Echo

Veteran

I agree that it is hard to pin down. Exactly when are one's ovaries "older"? I still have mine, but have had a hysterectomy, so I do not bleed (sorry if that's TMI). I'm not sure how I will know when I am "older" in that regard.

However, I remember as a teen thinking about the turn of the century. My first thought was, "PARTY!" My second thought was, "Nevermind. I'll be old." I was 30 at the turn of the century, and I guarantee you I did not feel old.

Most of the women from the generation ahead of mine have said the same thing Joy said. They wondered where that person in the mirror came from because they still felt much the same. Then again, I had a great aunt who, in her 90's, would stop by the "Old Folk's Home" and write letters for and otherwise help out the "seniors" 20 years her junior.

But I have always used my mum as a benchmark. She has always been an "older woman" to me, so that means mid-70's to me now. I hope to be able to use that benchmark for another 20+ years.

Glory

Veteran

I'll never forget many years ago my husband and I were looking for a tuxedo (back in the day when events to wear them to were more common). There was a 17 year old young man looking for a grad suit at the same time. He turned to his friend and said "these suits are for really old men, like you know, 30 years old". My DH and I laughed so hard given he had just turned 30 and really didn't feel his bones creaking.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Just before my 50th birthday, I started getting mail from AARP. I wanted to slap them! "I'm not old enough for that yet!" I thought. "Oh, wait..."

Five years have passed since then, and last month DH and I were leaving the parking lot of a fabric store when he saw a sign that said "Senior Discount Every Wednesday." He said, "Hey! Some places consider 55 a senior, did you get a discount?" I wanted to slap him (and I'm not a violent person, really)! "No, and I'm not going back in there to see, and nobody better even think I'm 55 either!" I responded. Besides, it was only Tuesday

I'll be old when...
I no longer want to ride roller coasters
Skydiving is no longer on my bucket list
Getting out of bed IS on my bucket list...

rachylou

Veteran

Also: you have successfully achieved old, ie mature healthy functioning adulthood, when you look at a highschool yearbook and can't identify anyone crushworthy because human larvae is not hot...

Debbie

Veteran

When I turned 60 I thought I am old. I don't feel any different but I don't always recognize the person in the mirror.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

When you're at the funeral home planning your mother's funeral, your maternal uncle turns to you and says it's your decision.
I was 29.

Runcarla

Veteran

In 3 months I will qualify for the senior's discount at our local pharmacy. 55 years (and up) gets you 20% off every Thursday. It seems kind of odd to be termed a senior when I am still laying eggs - but I will not refuse the discount! In 2 years I will be retired.

Sure, I'll own the 'older woman' moniker - and not mind it. 50 really is a dividing line, and I am north of it.

Anonymous

Interesting. For the past few weeks I have been immersed in the world of doctors, nurses and all things hospital -related . I keep referring to these doctors as " all these young people" and my husband e finally said : they aren't young, we're old . True enough in the health care field, but I don't self-identify as old. I joke about doing old-people things , but truly , I'm just me. I'm 54 and that means nothing to me other than another number . I am absolutely aware of being older among younger people , even those of your age Angie, but I still get what's going on, and consider myself privileged to have the experience and knowledge that comes with this age. It's a pretty cool thing .

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Gaylene; this whole nonsense about "oh, you're so youthful, you don't seem like you're your actual age" is just a symptom of our youth obsessed culture and I wouldn't even like it as a compliment. Then again, I've always been one of those people who's been serious and methodical so when I was a kid and teenager people thought I was older than I was. Dunno if that is still true for me in my late thirties, but probably.

As far as fashion goes, I'd say you're older somewhere in your forties, or definitely by 50. That's the point at which most women's bodies start to change, and when it becomes a lot harder to find stores that are aimed at your demographic.

Nebraskim

Veteran

I just turned 60. I don't feel old but I guess I am. My doctor, whom I actively avoid, keeps trying to get me to take all sorts of old people tests. I did submit to a colonoscopy (sorry TMI) but I won't do other screenings as I feel fine. I do think that me being relatively fit, a normal weight, a runner, non-smoker, who eats nutritiously, etc. is part of it. I don't however, wear sunscreen but I have few wrinkles, which is genetic.

The woman who played Aunt Bee in the old Andy Griffith Show was 58 when the show debuted. She looks much older. I think many women today look far younger than comparably aged women did years ago.
My spouse has been looking at old photographs from the 1940s, 50s and 60s. I look at my great grandmother, who was 65 in 1950, yet in the photos she looks so much older than I do now. It's the aging clothing, etc. Three of my four great grandmothers lived into their 90s; my grandmothers lived into their 90s; and my mother is a youthful 85.

it's an interesting thought question.

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