When and what was your style epiphany? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

When and what was your style epiphany?

gryffin

Veteran

This has been just an amazing week to be on the forum - so many thought provoking threads. It made me really contemplate my own personal style. One thing I realized was that there was a defining moment when I really began to develop my own authentic style. I was in training in the 90's - when minamalist & monochromatic looks suddenly became available. The first time I put on a long fitted fingertip length black jacket with a short black skirt, black tights and black pointy toe booties, I finally felt that this was me. In Una's words - I owned and still own this look. I wore that jacket buttoned like a suit dress, with black slim pants and buttoned over ribbed equestrian style leggings. To this day this is still my favorite look. That does not mean my style has not evolved - but I still prefer black, minamalist, slender, skimming, monochromatic pieces. As I've grown more into my look, I've played with volume - oversize jackets and sweaters but still over leggings. I've experimented with sharper tailoring (love you HL) and asymmetry - but the fundamental preferences that date to that period have never waivered. Does anyone else have a defining moment when you found the essense of your personal style?

General

58 replies

Latest reply was from Meli

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

That's very interesting, Gryffin. You and ironkurtin have a soft spot for late '90s fashion which comes through strongly in the way you dress today.

I've had two MAJOR style epiphanies:

1. When I was a teen in the early '80s and my love for fashion was finally "set", and it blossomed from there. It was ultimately back then that I recognized my love for Punk, Pretty, Androgynous, Black & White, Sour Brights, Pearls, Geometric Designs, Graphic looks, Dots, Stripes, White Shirts, Crisp Styling, Polished Outfits, the Classics, and Looser Fits. (Although I also wore skinnies back in the '80s that required multiple movements on the floor to get them on because they had no stretch). I still love these looks today - in their updated trendy incarnations.

2. About 3 years ago, I was coming off a plane from Mexico City after working with a client, and it suddenly hit home that for my style, "Less is More". No more jewellry and garments with excess detail. My movement to Simplicity and Outfit Minimalism was greatly strengthened right there.

E

Veteran

Discovering thrift shops in late 2008 really opened my sartorial horizons: no longer was I limited by budget or what was available in shops (and their sale racks)! I spent quite a bit of time experimenting before figuring out exactly what I preferred, but that started me on the road of style love, opening my eyes to everything from skirts that sit at my natural waist to the deliciousness of silk and wool.

And coming across Japanese sewing books last year provided a mini-epiphany: I loved the silhouettes that managed to look stylish despite a lack of figure flattery and individual items that might read as frumpy. The focus seemed to be more on creating interesting, quietly luxurious looks, which really resonated with me, and let thoughts that had been floating around in my head crystallise.

gryffin

Veteran

Angie - that's very interesting. I remember when you decided to simplify your outfits. As an observer, it was really fascinating to me because it did not seem to be a departure from the style that you loved but rather a distillation, a refinement. With less adornment, quality, cut, proportion, color, fit and balance took centerstage. The elements had to be perfect and harmonious with less room for era. Since you're a foodie - it's like tomato, basil and fresh mozarella. Divine when perfectly ripe, fresh and beautifully plated but meh when then send those mealy tomatoes, shrinked wrapped mozarella and wilting basil your way!!

Helena

Veteran

What a great and thought-provoking question. I remember in 1988, getting my first black turtleneck (I was 14). That was the death-knell of anything fussy, overly bright, or girly, and the beginning of a lifelong love of neutral casual-classics!

Anonymous

Mine was more of a discovery, after much experimentation. I came to realize that I look and feel best in tailored clothing--no frills--with a sleek, short hairstyle. Accessories are necessary, but kept to a minimum. I wear jewelry, but not too much of it. I still love shoes--always have, always will--but have discovered I'm not the classic type who wears pumps. Kibbe's Dramatic Classic seems to be the direction I go in. Experimentations took the form of figuring out what works best with my hair type, body type, personal coloring, personality, and lifestyle. I would say my style evolved. It didn't just happen like the Big Bang, lol.

rachylou

Veteran

Interesting. Probably in my teens, like Angie. I said, ahem, *screw it!* - unlike Angie, I'm sure. Pegged my jeans with safety pins against the tide of fashion and went on my merry way...

Diana

Veteran

I think it might have been when I discovered Anthropologie around 2000 or so. Shortly thereafter, I bought my first pair of crazy pants (from Anthro) - they were burgundy/brown/black/cream tapestry print slim bootcuts, and I remember thinking they looked totally insane on the rack but were some kind of magic on my body.

ETA: I always liked fashion though. I just had no idea of what I wanted my style to be before that point (and I was still going shopping with my mom a lot back then... and she has a very different idea of what I should be wearing.)

gryffin

Veteran

E - I could see where thrift shops could open up the world of clothing in ways a lot of us don't get to see. Stores, even large department stores, have a clientelle and a view point or at least price point that often drives their merchandise. Thrift shops must be fascinating because they would have a broader range of styles, quality, eras and origins. I do applaud your ability to sift through. I get overwhelmed by too much selection. I just shut down and can't filter. But if you have the patience and you certainly have the eye, I am sure they are like ali baba's cave!! That's also really interesting about the japanese sewing book. I do agree that it is not so much a piece being frumpy but how it is styled and the japanese are such masters of balance, detail, proportion. Such wonderful transformative moments!!

shedev

Veteran

1986, started to wear what I wanted and not just follow the crowd.

gryffin

Veteran

Torontogirl - wow, the power of a single article of clothing to take us in a new defined direction. Amazing and I love it!! Sleek, elegant, mysterious, quiet but dramatic focusing all attention on you. That is definitely defining!!
Ruth - I definitely see life as journey. Evolution rather than revolution. I don't remember if it was you who mentioned David Kibbe's book (I am reading it now) which I find totally fascinating. I do think that experimenting to find out what works but for you is wonderful, but I like the way he seems to acknowledge that it has to sing to your soul, the authentic you - that flattery is not looking like the generic standard of beauty. Flattery is looking like the best and most authentic "you!!"
Rachylou - I am so impressed you were so self possesses and self assured to find your style in your teens!! That is miraculous and great!! I wish we could all order a big bottle of your confidence and clarity of vision!!
Diana - you have just proved the truth of the old adage "just try it on!" Some pieces just sing that sirens song to our souls. They touch something primal, powerful and mysterious at our core. I really like Una's phrase of "owning the look" The moment when personal vision, body and the piece become one. Just magic!!

gryffin

Veteran

Shedev - that is a very exact date!! Was there a style? Store? moment? event? that freed you to folow your own vision?

rachylou

Veteran

gryffin - Ja, well... I have a big head. My mum's guru told me we didn't need to work on my self-esteem, and maybe there was something else I'd like to develop. Perhaps humility, hint hint. Lol.

Peri

Veteran

I wish I could answer this question! I'm not sure it's ever happened. Maybe small realizations, but definitely no epiphanies. I may have realized more over the last year than at any other time, and I'm definitely happier with my clothes than I have been in years, but even in recent memory I can't point to anything happening. I remember having times...early 90s particularly...that I was more trendy, but I didn't stick with those looks either. It is interesting how many can provide such sure answers. I hope there are others like me who are more puzzled about the question!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

High five to the '80s, Rachy. I'll leave the potty mouth to you. *big grin*. And you have plenty humility. xo

Gryffin, you are stunningly eloquent. I am wowed by your descriptions and choice of words. Love the capreze comparison too - aren't you clever. And I have a question. Do you wear anything but black, grey, and denim?

gryffin

Veteran

Rachy - I think confidence is wonderful. Life usually tones down too much but I think finding it is the real trick!!
Peri - please please don't feel badly if you don't have one. As I said to Ruth, life is rarely revolution but evolution. Being open to new looks, like new experiences is a fabulously wonderful thing. You could see my style as being too rigid, too defined, too entrenched and limited if you flip your view. I think openess to experiences is a wonderful qualilty, not just in clothes, but in life. Someday there may be an epiphany or not, but that should not make your style journey any less rewarding, valuable or enjoyable - just less limited!!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

The first one was Jean Shrimpton in her 'mini' dress at Flemington racecourse on Derby Day in 1965. I was a 15 year old living in Melbourne at the time - I thought she looked modern & beautiful & free - enter the 1960s for me See the photo- in the background you will see what most women were wearing to these events at the time.

The next two overlap in some way & introduced me to quality. My first real job was as a house (fit) model for a local designer. They made the samples for MY body so I have always seen the importance of fabric & fit. The other was second-hand shopping in the 1960s. I found a brown velvet YSL suit, a black 1940s suit & amazing Harris Tweed jackets along with 1930s bias cut gowns - it truly was an amazing time & I fell in love with good clothes.

The last major one was the 1970s & 1980s when the Japanese designers peaked. Their aesthetic really spoke to me & I believed they democratised fashion in many ways.

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

gryffin

Veteran

Angie - I do have a small amount of white (tuxedo shirt), a few textured white tops and a small amount of blue (a black and blue long jacket with a silver thread) and a long ink blazer and oversize aran/argyle sweater in navy/blue/gray, but not much. Several years ago, I realilze my wardrobe lacked cohesion and clarity. I felt like I had lost my way (hello motherhood!!) So I decided the fastest way to regain control was to limit my color palate. I began focusing on texture, shade, quality, material, silhouette, line in my clothing and adding interesting boots/booties and exotic belts (in black but different materials, with silver and often crystals/rhinestones and interesting buckles). The ocassional statement necklace or silver cuff. I worked on the perfect hair cut and the most flattering but natural make up look and what I found was peace, calm, cohesion and harmony. This is far from everyone's cup of tea, but I guess that's the point, it doesn't have to be!

gryffin

Veteran

Caro - that is a gorgeous picture and the juxtapostion is powerful. It so reminds me of Bill Blass' quote on CZ Guest in paris with her cashmere twin set, tweed skirt and mocassins when everyone else was in Dior's new look and how "she stopped traffic!" Clean, minimal, graphic JS was so elegant - I could see how that would have taken you in a totally new direction. That is so amazing you were a fit model!! What lessons you must have learned in such a veritable hothouse of creative elegance!! You must have the most incredible stories!! I find the japanese culture compelling in their sensitivily, restraint and attention to detail and I can see how that period of very egalitarian fasion could have been profoundly pivotal in taking you in a new direction. I definitey see this influence in your outfit posts but I love how your look is still entirely your own!!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

This second does it all for me, Gryffin: "I worked on the perfect hair cut and the most flattering but natural make up look and what I found was peace, calm, cohesion and harmony." THAT is what we strive for as our ultimate style goal. I'm glad you've found your inner style peace and long may it last. xo

gryffin

Veteran

Angie - I am sure you are wise enough to divine I am still a major work in progress!! But I feel like I am on a good path and traveling in the right direction!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

gryffin - I was going to include the BB quote too but thought my response wordy enough already

It's interesting that you found cohesion by limiting your colour palette, I have done a similar thing but still struggle with the dreaded black - only for me I hasten to add.

gryffin

Veteran

Caro - I think our minds are on a similiar wavelength!! Since you like to quote too, I'll leave you with Blake's "The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom." You do know, I understand black is not everyone's favorite color to wear!! That makes me happy otherwise I would be fighting more people over it. The goody, more for me mentality!! I'd be interested to know what colors you chose to limit your palate to. I would think you'd look gorgeous in all shades of blue from midnight to ice with lovely shades of silver thrown in and perhaps deep purples, gray and white as accents but that's my vision I'm interested to know what is yours?

Peri

Veteran

Hey, I think maybe my style epiphany was that fearing the purge and holding on to worn out things I was tired of was hurting me. That new things are worth it and fun. That I need minimal items, so if I keep my numbers small I will not feel so guilty about letting things go and refreshing my wardrobe more often.

Maybe that's my epiphany that led to better style, rather than an epiphany about my actual style. If that counts, then it happened this past November.

gryffin

Veteran

Peri - I think that's an excellent thought. In a way, it is similiar to limiting my color palate. A small selection of things you love that work well together = ease and elegance. Letting things go is very difficult and holding on to things that make you feel bad is even worse. It sounds like your wardrobe and your psyche are in really good places!! Major kudos!! and I think that was an awesome epiphany!!

Carla

Veteran

Still struggling in the trenches of style and fashion! Sometimes I have a mini 'aha' moment, and then I loose it..like a single thin medallion twisting in the wind...one moment you see it, but as it revolves it nearly disappears. I feel like this about math too! Maybe I just need to hire a stylist?!?

gryffin

Veteran

Runcarla - I would never know you felt that way from your WIW posts. In complete honesty, I think you always look great!! But I know that sensation of feeling lost, even if what you wear is attractive and flattering. Perhaps it's the difference between having wonderful style vs finding your inner most authentic style!! That is a gorgeous analogy of the revolving medallion - so visceral and so perfect. I love the image but completely sympathize with the evanescence of those moments of clarity. Gosh, hum, do we know any good stylists?!! Wouldn't it just be fabulously, divinely awesome to have Angie take us in hand!! But I have every faith that your medallion will find it's angle of repose and with it you'll find the essense of your authentic style!!

Deborah

Veteran

I think I have had a number of style epiphanies, that have had a long term effect.

When I was about 8 my mum bought me the ugliest dress ever (in reality it was actually quite sweet) and we argued every time she wanted me to wear it. From time on I realised I didn't necessarily want to wear the same as everyone else:)

Then in 1997/98 I saw the band Blondie for the first time ever peforming "In the Flesh". Deborah Harry blew me way with her cool punky look and peroxide blonde hair. From that time on I knew my hair was to be a major part of my 'style'. But as I was only about 11 it was another 8 years before I started dying my hair a lighter blonde and established what was my trademark bob.

Black has always featured very heavily in my wardrobe and this has been a constant. Job's to a large extent have dictated what I wore (corporate / business attire) but for the past 13 years my work environment has had no dress code. This has allowed experimentation and the opportunity to wear what I like. If it's possible, I think I have been having an ongoing style epiphany for the past 3 years since coming to YLF and discovering the world of fashion blogs. I have discovered other women whose styles embody all I love and all I am attracted to. I am a very visual person so "seeing things" is very powerful for me. I might have a sense of something I might like to wear but if you can show me a visual it brings so much more clarity for me, even tho I may not necessarily copy it exactly. For me it's relating to what I see.

The biggest epiphany for me has been the realisation that I can dress the way I want. I don't have to be anything I am not. Age and YLF has been responsible for this revelation. Admitting on a YLF thread recently that I do not like colour (for me) was an incredibly liberating experience.

A neutral palette of black, white, grey and blues makes me beyond happy. On days when I feel all black is looking a bit too heavy for me, my 'colour' is white. Simple pieces that all work together have made me wardrobe a beautiful place that makes me happy daily.

And in the last 12 months, being able to identify the concept of unstructured structure has been huge in helping me understand my style.

A major epiphany / revelation for me was that having masses of clothing didn't not equate to being sylish. I have less clothes than ever before yet a wardrobe that works better than every before. AND all of it feels like me.

Gryffin, I could go on and perhaps I have gone off on a tangent...sorry. Loving this thread. Now must go back and read everyone's comments fully. x

Caro in Oz

Veteran

gryffin the colours of your vision are, in fact, my go to colours If I could find the clothes I love to wear in ink or navy I'd never bother with black & would be very happy to leave it all to you (& Deborah of course).

rebekahphoto

Veteran

I think for me also it was the mid 80s.....slipping into my sleek tall black riding boots, black leggings, a red slightly oversized sweater and a leopard print silky scarf sealed the deal. I felt comfortable, creative and adventurous. I remember having a fabulous cobalt wool cocoon coat my mother made me, it was just so glam & fun to wear!

In those years I discovered my love for classic leopard print, saturated color, creative, unique jewelery and of course leather! Instead of a typical backpack or nylon book bag, I had a large, black leather soft structured tote bag--I think I might have got it at the original nordstrom rack. It was so gorgeous, but minimal at the same time

and I don't think I have really strayed all that far from those days. Now it's more updated silhouettes, a tad longer skirts, fewer heels. But I still love a classic with a bit of an artsy rock & roll edgy vibe thrown in there!

12