My oldest brother passed away in a motorcycle accident. (Not looking for sympathy, just answering the question). I think I just started out wearing black for mourning and it just developed into 80s punk. There were 7 of us in my high school of about 450. I was told not to wear most of my clothes in my first couple years in retail. I've strayed a few times but always return to elements of my core style.

Caro, I'm even more in awe of you now than I was before, and I've always thought you were quite fab, so you can imagine!

Gryffin, it is so interesting to have you as an active (and important) part of the forum. So strange to think of you as an observer, but not a known participant. We're so lucky to have you revealed now!

My style epiphany is no particular moment, but lots of small steps. I realized how important fashion was when I was a teen. I could see it as something that others had that gave them power and status and that I didn't have. Odd. I always saw it as tied to power and influence. I still do. I think among professional women it is often an understood part of communication.

So, I was in high school in the late '80s. You can guess....I love skinny pants and pointy toes and moto jackets and pea coats and turtlenecks. They make me happy just thinking of them. (But don't make me listen to '80s music that isn't punk, new wave or college radio. I'll happy listen to '70s funk or disco, which were anathema to me in my youth, but '80s pop...even now...noooooooo!)

This is an interesting thread. It's fun reading about people's style epiphanies!

As for me, I don't have any...yet! I've been interested in fashion only for about nine months. Before this time, I wore a severely limited wardrobe in terms of numbers, colors, and silhouettes. And I had for years. So now I am trying anything and everything. I think it will just take some experimenting to see what, over time, feels the most like "me."

Even as a kid, I had to wear a lot of hand-me-downs, and Mom rarely took me clothes shopping with her. So for a lot of my formative years, I was just given stuff to wear, whether it suited me or not. Unfortunately, I think that did some damage in the personal development and self-expression departments. It's difficult for me as I shop for clothes to even know what I like and don't like. That's why my resolution for 2014 was not to buy anything that didn't make me really happy in my heart--a new experience for me.

Deborah - such fascinating and insightful comments. Blonde is absolutely the ne plus ultra of cool. I can see where her style could have deeply effected you but I am impressed at the young age and advanced planning!!! I am with you on loving a bob. I think that choice in itself is interesting. My grandmother was born in 1900. She was the first one to drive in her family and when she "bobbed" her hair - she could not come home for a week until her father cooled off. It was so radical and modern for the times. Of course, it's a really flattering cut and angular, geometric, dramatic line are so much a part of your style!! Your declaration on YLF was one that definitely helped my style journey. I think it was at a time on the forum (I was lurking, what else is new) that many were trying to escape the "default" of black. So I was feeling a bit at uncomfortable having such a different take on color in general. When you dug you awesome bootied heels in and said that you said how much you loved black clothing it was so empowering to me. So many, many thanks - for having the strength and fabulous to just be you!! I agree, "a picture is woth a thousand words." Fashion is visual and it's hard for me to imagine things too without seeing them. Plus you are so right, sometimes more is just more Too much stuff simply makes a wardrobe more unweidly!! I definitely agree that Angie's support and YLF are so empowering. Where else can you find a community that strives to support and accept everyone on their own personal journey. Simply amazing!!
Caro - I'm not sure Deborah will give up all her blue - my favorite color is definitely blue, but I will wish you all the ink, navy, ice and wedgewood and every shade inbetween!! Something tells me you better save your pennies you never know when blue THE color and then you'll be cleaning up!!
Rebekah - it's almost like finding you pace in running. When you hit that magic sweet spot and it's effortless and you feel you couild do it forever!! It sounds like you really hit your stride and never looked back!! I think for all of us who have a favorite "look" or "era" it does not mean we slavishly follow it but rather that we find the aesthetic that really feeds our soul and we tweak and update but that's our style "home" for lack of a better word. BTW that outfit and your cobalt cocoon coat sound like they were TDF!! as was your tote! Such great and well developed taste!! Just crushing on that!!
Shedev - I cannot imagine how such a loss would have effected you. I lost a very close friend at 40 yo and that has been profound. Having to cope with that level of tragedy especially at such a young age - I am sure no part of your life could have been the same. Straying from the common dress is always challenging. Especially working in retail there must have been very high levels of expectation for dress. That you've stayed true (it's always fair game to check out the road less taken ;-)) to what feels right and authentic is what's most important.

K. Period. - thank you!! You are incredibly kind!! I am amazed how observant and analytic you were at such a young age. It's not that I did not understand the importance of dress but I had to idea how to achieve the "look" which created the image I was after. It sounds like you nailed that so early and I am just in awe!! I really like your comment on dressing, " Odd. I always saw it as tied to power and influence. I still do." I totally agree with your statement but I never had the eye, the taste, the discernment to fully exploit this. The ability to visually influence the world and convey the exact impression you want is an enormous tool. That you were so aware and your taste so refined at such a young age, well that's just stunning. Speaking of which, I see your ability to define yourself sartorially in your WIW's - powerful, elegant, edgy, individual, confident. I'm a huge fan!!
Gigi - your words really resonated with me. I had 4 bottoms and 4 tops and one pair of day shoes for much of my childhood and nothing went with anything else so I had outfits and not a wardrobe. Not complaining but I just really get what you are saying. So it took me a long time to sartorially find myself too. It sounds like you are the kid in the proverbial candy shop!! I think that's great!! After sampling a bit of everything it sounds like its time to sort out what really calls to you. I think that is such an exciting, empowering and, okay, really scary time!! But there is not better place to experiment than on YLF!! Looking forward to hearing and seeing where this journey takes you!!

I haven't had time to write anything here but I just want to pop in to say this thread and all the other introspective discussions this week are making me like this forum even more than I did before.

I've enjoyed reading this immensely. Thank you for starting it, gryffin.

I'm not sure I've really had a major fashion epiphany. More like a series of small revelations over time. But returning to my short hair (at Angie's suggestion) and then the phrase "urban prince" were magical moments that certainly helped nudge me in the right direction. I'm still very much a work in progress and don't feel I've actually hit my style stride quite yet. This will be the year, I suspect. I sense that I'm getting closer.

Greyscale- I am so with you. It was a fabulous week for thought provoking and interesting discussions. Only difficulty is too many wonderful threads to keep up with!!
Suz - I've never agreed with Shakespeare's line "what's in a name..." Names have power. I think that's why style monikers have such importance, if we can verbalize something it helps us better understand, visualize and achieve it. I dont' find style statement limiting, I think of them as touchstones along the journey - they may stick or morph and evolve but they are always a part of the process. Of course, the importance of a little nudge from the right person at the right time can never be under estimated!! I am really curious to see where your journey takes you. Your look is always so polished, elegant, flattering and refined that I can not imagine the next step..I look forward to seeing where this takes you!!

Can't remember the exact moment but I finally reached a point where I decided not to buy/wear something trendy because it just wasn't me. I freed myself from being a fashion victim that day.

Another moment was when I made the decision to walk away from anything that did not fit well. Even if I liked it, the quality and price was right, etc. No good fit= not buying.

HI Gryffin and Everyone!

This thread is so good! I have been thinking about this since it posted and when I have a few minutes I will write up my novella! I want to terse it up but underlying rational and back story explain so much--- to me! Thanks for the insights.

Gryffin, thanks for your reply to my post! It makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not alone and that you've been through this too. I do feel like the kid in the candy shop! It's kind of stressful because you feel like you HAVE to try everything. Instead I need to wait and be patient and let my heart figure out stuff for itself, even if it takes a while. It helps me to know that you felt like this time was scary too...it probably seems silly to someone who hasn't been there, but "scary" is exactly right!

Like K and Suz, I really can't point to any specific, big epiphany moments. It's been more of a gradual evolution for me, from the time I was young. Some things I love have been part of my style since high school (cobalt blue, burgundy, jeans in varying styles, leather jackets, and usually being a tad more dressed up than my peers). I have always loved clothes and fashion, but the last few years have definitely been my most *aware* when it comes to fashion and style. That has coincided with a few personal growth turning points for me -- taking up running and committing myself to fitness, working on being kinder to myself, and taking risks. I'm still in a process, for sure.

I have so enjoyed coming back to this thread and reading all the amazing comments!
I just popped over to your Member details Gryf. to see if you are a writer like Suz but alas, found no information
I must be a sticky beak but would love to know more about your background that has made you so interesting and insightful!
To add after reading, perhaps a lot of our 'moments' do stem from our childhood? I remember growing up when denim jeans were not mainstream. When pants for women became available and acceptable I loved the freedom and comfort, and have been a fan ever since.
I also remember my first 'designer outfit', and although then I only appreciated the styling, now I love the fabric and finish of such garments.

Gryffin, you're right that thrifting feels like a treasure hunt for me (I have to be careful not to become a bit addicted, what with the intermittent reward set up of them, just like slot machines! lol). It also feels like a 'level-er,' in that I can still have nice quality stuff despite not being able to afford it retail. Mine are all set up by item and then colour, which is just perfect for the way I process things, so I don't get overwhelmed in that sense. I do get overwhelmed thinking about all of the *stuff* we're making in this world. Some days, I only check one section (e.g.: dresses) if I don't feel like combing through everything. Thank you for the compliment! I need to get a better eye for fit detailing though; I suspect the grey linen trousers I bought just last week, thinking they were jaunty and intentionally a bid jodphur-like/intentionally loose, are actually just a size too big. At least I think I'll be able to take in the side seams.

For so long, I only associated Japanese fashion with the more extreme looks, like Gothic Lolita and the street style in Tokyo, so I'm happy to have discovered this quieter side! I've read The Pillow Book and some historical fiction set in medieval Japan, and I just love reading about the colours and details the court women used in their wardrobes. Everything changed seasonally, much more precisely than just four seasons too, and they layered robes in the most delicious sounding combinations.

This path of your style journey sounds like a solid and rewarding one, Gryffin. xo

Still waiting . . .

When my I starting reading fashion blogs (and in particular Angie) and realized I could understand clothes and have style.

Another one that has been reading this thread, and others, this week but has had no time to properly articulate my thoughts. I hope to though! Depends on skiing conditions tomorrow...

Thanks for this gryffin. I'ts been fascinating.

MRL - I am so impressed with you self control. To make a decision about not following trends and only buying perfect fit is so commendable. To me that's like swearing off chocolate!! Easier said and done!! But if you've managed it then that attitude will keep you in such a good place. Very impressed and marvelous and very difficult epiphany!! Kudos!!
LACeleste - I am looking forward to your novella!! Can't wait!
Gigi - yes, I did and do feel that way. But Gigi I am sure many, many others feel this way too!! If you are feeling like you're the only one, do a post about this and we will all chime in, I am sure!! I am sure a lot of my panic about needing duplication comes from not having enough. 4 outfits and 7 days in the week, (not even going into wash day!!)- not interchangable. Not good. So having enough and enough of the right things probably effects us more than some others. Unfortunately, finding yourself in any metier can not be rushed. We all just have to work through it. But you are not alone Gigi, we are all on the path just at different places, different times and at different ages!! Hugs and know you always have company!!
Janet - I have always felt some preferences are almost inborn. They are almost a discovery of what nutures our inner soul. I think that's why discovering "first loves" in any area is so powerful. It's almost a recognition, an acknowledgement rather than a true choice. Does it feel that way to you? Does burgundy and cobalt just "speak" to you? I've had the same experience, about milestones bringing a desire for, not so much for a total change necessarily, but for a conscious reevaluation and clarification of where I am heading and how. Plus I think any choice we make towards health, caring for ourselves, fulfulling ourselves helps us have more to actually give to the people we love. You can't dispense water if the personal well is dry!! So great epiphanies!!
Lyn - I love your term "sticky beak!!" I've never heard it used before and had to look it up, just wonderful!! Sorry for the "air of mystery, " I've only "delurked" recently. So I have not gotten around to completing a profile. In my inner most fantasies, I would write novels for a living!! But thank your for your lovely comments. You are graciousness itself!! I do remember my first pair of jeans - wow the 70's - when they were still bell bottoms!! That was an epiphany for a lot of us!! Gosh, Lyn, now that I think of it, weren't you the one who bought the amazing Chanel dress? Talk about a score and piece of history in one!! You have a great eye and such good taste!!

E - I can see your fascination with layering in your WIW's and you do it well. I can't wait to see where your reading and imagination takes you. I had forgotten how sensitive the Japanese culture is to change in the seasons and I know this must be absolutely calling to you. Living in harmony with nature on all levels is a wonderful goal. I think most of us do it to some degree to summer/winter dressing but, as you point out, there are more subtle shifts that some cultures are or were much more in tune with. Your sense of the "rightness" of dressing in harmony with your surrounding plays right into that. I look forward to seeing where this takes your style!!
Angie - I have always believed "Voyaging is victory"!
Thistle - you may be waiting but you always look wonderful!! Clearly good things come to those who are 'waiting!!"
Shevia - isn't that the truth. Knowledge is power and empowering!! and what an extraordinary place this is to gan it!! Totally agree!!
Eliabeth - totally agree. So many really interesting and thought provoking threads and not enough time!! Ski safe!!

I've had many little epiphanies; however, the biggest came when I was returning to work after maternity leave. I realized that my style could flow freely and that there were no limitations. I could have my work style and then I could come home and change into my more casual (mommy) style. As I became more flexible in my idea of personal style, I started to feel put together no matter the situation.

MicheleLee - that is such an awesome realizaton. It took me years to recover from childbrith, stylewise. The fact that you seem to be able to transition so smoothly between and within those roles, well it's amazing!!

gryffin--I think what helped is that I felt so fashionably blah during my maternity leave that I was dead set on turning it around when I went back to work. I really focused on fit of pieces and purchasing basics so I could mix/match within each wardrobe. I have my work wardrobe and my mommy wardrobe, and when I shop I think about each of those. Some pieces may overlap, but I've stopped focusing on finding pieces that do. Once I did that, it was much easier.

Like Suz I feel I've had the small revelations over time.
- 1970 when I turned 12 it was bell bottoms and tie dye!
- 1984 it was about oversized tops/big shoulders, skinny bottoms, booties and the color black. Oh yeah and spiky bleach blonde, short hair.
- 1995 it was the Tom Ford / Gucci aesthetic of minimal glam: fitted boot cut black pants (not jeans) with a low waist, and a fitted stretch silk shirt in a jewel-toned color. (From the likes of Equipment, I couldn't afford Gucci!)
- 2003 - cargo and parachute pants, embroidered. From the likes of Joie and Da Nang. I was so into this look, until around 2006.
- 2010 when I discovered YLF!

So while the older style revelations sound fun, I sort of cringe at the more recent past e.g. 2003, I think 15 years need to pass for a style to look good again.

MicheleLee - you make it seem so easy and matter of fact. I am still blown away by your ability to do this. Major kudos to you!! My work wardrobe is in good shape but I have to work on the transition to home more. Very impressed and I'm going to try and take a page from your book and work on that. Many thanks for your thoughts!!
Cocolion - that's very interesting about you epiphanies along the way and how each one took you in a lightly different direction. I still like the idea of "minimal glam" for you look now, does that feel true? Beautifully cut pieces with drape, fine fabrics, there is an elegant restrained luxury about your look almost best exemplified, to an outsider eye, but you beautiful Vince coat. Unfussy but sensuous in the texture and fabrics you select.

I just finished reading every single comment on this thread and it has been fascinating. Thank you so much for starting this conversation gryffin.

My first style epiphany was when I turned 17. I grew up in a tiny community (about 40 people) and it was quite conservative. I started to hang out with a crowd from a neighbouring and larger town that was into the punk and goth phase of the time. I went and cut off my waist length hair into a men's crewcut and died it lime green. Then I pierced my left cheek and wore a diaper pin in the hole. I used to take old jeans of my Dad's and cut the side seams open, taking out the excess fabric so they would fit my legs and then put them back together with safety pins (probably 50 pins per seam). I realized then that I was having fun with fashion and had no problem sticking out in my home town.

Then when I joined YLF three years ago, I discovered that I could dress for the semi-corporate world I work in but still maintain my individuality. That wa HUGE for me.

Shannon - wow, as much as I know we all have so many facets to our style and personality, it is going to take me a bit to reconcile the elegant woman in the WIW's with your inner punk style. I think we glimpse that in your confidence, edge, adventuressness. There is a fearless quality in your outfits I really admire. But I have no doubt whatever you wore you looked awesome.

What a fascinating read. Like Suz, I don't feel I've ever had a major style epiphany. It's been more a serious of small shifts over time.

I will say that my color analysis at the end of last summer really opened my eyes to the power of flattering color. Since then I've been experimenting and learning a lot about what colors work best for me…after years of flailing in the dark! So, I suppose that could count as my style epiphany.

My 1st promotion, where I started working in the office. I was a 'skater' chic before because that was what I was comfortable with- hollister tanks and ripped jeans, vans sneakers (I experimented in goth and hippy/bohemian as a teenager). Then I was suddenly introduced to tailored trousers, blouses, blazers- on my! I found I liked feminine details- something I refused as a kid (no lace, ruffles, etc!). I went overboard on ruffles/etc. for a while and am now refining my style back to structured classic with feminine touches.