Oh. Almost forgot. Angie is dead right. The biggest most important change I made (on her advice) was to cut my hair. She told me everything would fall into place after that. It was far from immediate— but she was right. Deal with hair, specs, underwear first of all. Then the rest.

It looks like there are a lot of excellent responses above; I will have to go back to read them all!

I think that my closet felt pretty functional after about three years. I agree with the commenters who said that moving forward is often done as a result of buying items that give you a strong emotional response, and that you might need to feel uncomfortable for a bit as you adjust to wearing these new items.

For me, when I am feeling stuck, I make a mood board according to the instructions here: https://anuschkarees.com/blog/.....boards-2-0. (She recommends using print sources, but I just use online images and import them into my Photos program. You could also use Pinterest.) The way she divides the categories up, and insists on looking at only one element of an outfit at a time, is so helpful for analyzing what's really piquing my interest. After I finish the mood board, I go back to the images and can really see some common themes. This helps me pinpoint the types of items I should be shopping for.

Another thing that might help you, since I see from an above response that you are pretty happy with a lot of your wardrobe items already, is to watch videos that give examples of styling the same item in different ways. An example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?.....e9XPZTZ7Ng. This YouTuber was featured on Inge's last Link Love. She really helped me see a lot of possibilities in my wardrobe for pieces I already had. She might spark your creative gene.

Suz, thanks for taking the time to comment through your technical issues. I get what you are saying, errant 5s notwithstanding.

Gigi that looks like a good YouTube link, thanks.

Overall I fear that I am still not being clear here. I feel like I’m getting a lot of good advice about how to define/find one’s style. But I’ve done that! Style words, detailed descriptions of what I like and don’t like— I got that.

My perplexity is, having done all that work, why am i not able to translate what I know about my style into a wardrobe that supports that style?

The advice to try on things that I think aren’t me and that make me uncomfortable seems confusing. Why do all that work to define what I like if the next step is to go and do the opposite? Is that really what helped folks here build a functional wardrobe after defining your style? That seems quite counterintuitive to me, but maybe there’s a piece of this that I’m not yet getting.

One thing I’m thinking is- maybe you don’t have enough clothes?? Like, if it’s taking you quite a while to get dressed and your having to search high and low to put a good outfit together, maybe it’s just a lack of completer pieces to make outfits work? Like... do you see a pair of pants and think... yes I want to wear those.... find a suitable top.... but then no shoes or jacket to work with the outfit? Because completer pieces are where I struggle the most. In fact I have a beautiful summer dress sitting idle in my wardrobe right now because I need to get the right completer pieces for it. White is hard for me to wear, and I need some bracelets and necklaces to make this dress work....

What helped me is that I devided my whole wardrobe in 8 capsules and assigned each peace of clothing to only one. That way it was easy to see which items don’t really belong because I had hard time assigning it to a capsule. I could easily see which capsules are working good and which not and what is missing in each to make it more cohesive. Now when buying new things I decide upfront in which capsule it belongs and if it does not fit well, I don’t get it. I have very similar to you definition of a good wardrobe.
I used finds to organize my capsules visually.
https://youlookfab.com/finds/c.....ber=anchie
Some capsules are still better than others and some a work in progress and I have idea which items I need to replace next.

Anchie: your capsules are beautiful and well organized. Thanks for sharing!

I wonder if it’s because you now have a very definite idea of your style that you are finding things more difficult. Simply because, when you have a strong sense of what’s right for your style, what’s easily available at retail at any point in time does not necessarily match up with that style. You said you’d like some 29 inch tunics in teal and burgundy and floral (join the club, by the way). That’s a very definite list. It will take time and effort to find them, assuming that they can be found at all.

Right now I would like a lightweight (cotton) cropped jacket in a good for me colour (teal, burgundy, rust, olive). I can’t find one anywhere. I’ve spent a lot of time on it! I know that it would really be a great outfit completer for me but it simply does not exist at retail at present. This means I feel perpetually frustrated by my Spring wardrobe because of this missing ingredient.

That’s a very good question: ‘My perplexity is, having done all that work, why am i not able to translate what I know about my style into a wardrobe that supports that style?‘

What is the definition of your style? How have you defined it? Your question has me wondering about items v outfits, what catches your eye when you shop, your method or formulas for making/evaluating outfits. Maybe it’s time to get more brass tacks... Do the Angie exercise of actually trying things on and making outfits in a big session. Like you’ve done the thinking, now it’s time for the road test?

I know I’m a bad shopper. I always joke, and yet it’s not a joke, that I only see red and blue plaid + puff sleeves when I
shop. And I buy things to make one outfit for fun, and they wallow unworn after that. I work hard to get around these tendencies... but I work around them, I can’t purge myself of them totally. I did it tonight again knowing full well... went to Target for Diet Coke and entertainment, and came home with a red pleated skirt I’d been thinking about for no reason and a sweatshirt that happened to have sleeves I wanted ten years ago, but missed out on. I’m hoping because it was Target stuff, I’ll feel less pain down the road when I come to my senses.

I’m counting myself lucky that I didn’t also come out with another plaid Puffy. Right. Because I got one I liked last year, and the love hasn’t died at all and it was the same thrill seeing one there in the store...

LOL... I'm not sure it has clicked yet

I know you've mentioned that you mostly shop secondhand, and I have to wonder whether shopping new, or at least doing some recon, might alleviate some of your frustration. I know that once I had a good enough handle on my style that I could pinpoint items like your 29-inch tunics in teal/burgundy/floral, it became much harder for me to find the right things secondhand. It's a real a needle-in-the-haystack endeavor. I finally accepted (grudgingly) Angie's "no retail stone unturned" adage.

Not second hand or cheap, but maybe the right length https://www.anntaylor.com/turt.....cata000011

At the far blue end of teal https://www.joefresh.com/us/Ca.....6J_yBLT2ZQ

Hmmm https://www.phase-eight.com/eu.....57cf2450de

Several different lengths https://www.talbots.com/online.....7WeQZa22Iw

I thought looking these up was a harmless activity for my no-shop-vember, but that last one hit a little too close to home. I’m going to stop now.

You are inspirational Anchie! Its like Vivienne Files with more interesting pieces
Nodding about defining your style resulting in more Hewis. Im always hunting hewis (nude to me texture tights), and/or when i try things on the fits are off (loose ankles on booties). Often ill see something thats trending that ill want to try, with no budget risk, but its unavailable in my meager irl shopping options. My biggest issue has historically been settling for the first thing i find thats close instead of being PPP.
Also nodding along with not wanting my entire closet on the floor when im creating my weekly outfits!

Oops I did it again. Got inspired by someone’s comment, and in response wrote one of my own that spun far away from the original post. Now this is an empty comment, because deletion is impossible, and I’m cutting/pasting that comment about my wardrobe into one of my own posts from about 2 months ago, where I lay out my wardrobe and shopping plan.

FashIntern - just to clarify - I don’t limit my self to wear things only within one capsule, I freely mix everything. This is just way to organize my wardrobe so that I for example don’t have too many black pants or that I make sure that I have red items across different categories, that my accessories create complements etc.

Anchie, we cross posted. I just removed the comment you’re responding to. But I agree with you, and don’t plan to be so rigid with mine either. It’s just a convenient way to remember what I’m trying to match with my purchases here.

Liz asks a lot of good questions!
I agree with Brooklyn and LaP that if you have a very define list of items, those will be hard to find!

What Brooklyn and LaPed and Jussie and Archie said. Have you Identified your activity/ weather capsules? Can you make enough good outfits for each activity? Have you done a try on session and tried to make great outfits? What is missing? Photos like Finds, lists, and words work for some, but nothing works better than trying things on and noting any gaps.

On the other hand, if You find yourself with a LOT of HEWIS at the end of that try-on session I.e. if most of what you want to add is impossible to locate, you might need to ask yourself why. Sometimes ouncolour preferences are not easy to find for a few years. Sometimes we encounter fit or flattery issues with the dominant silhouettes available. You could sew or knit, I guess. But that is not going to work for all.

One alternative is to expand your shopping options/ range, as LaPed said.

Another is to go back to the experimentation I and others suggested. The only way to keep your style fresh is to stay open to that. And it’s as true for those who prefer tried and true silhouettes as for those who like to bend with the trends. Take Griffin, for instance. She knows her preferred long over lean silhouette but for years long jackets were very hard to come by. She babied her precious older ones but still needed upgrades. So she experimented with some lightweight COATs to get a similar vibe. She also trie a few less expensive pieces like a knit cutaway jacket that she might have overlooked in the past. In this way she stayed true to her core style while adapting to meet the times.

In the end I come back to Angie’s adage about organize emotional shopping. It’s good to analyze your needs but if you stick very rigidly to a highly specific list that is a recipe for disappointment and style stagnation. You need to go into the experience with a willingness to follow your attractions and to let yourself play with some options. If you can’t alway get what you want, sometimes you can find the thing you didn’t know you needed and that can turn out to be the very thing that makes your wardrobe click.

Take my own experience this fall with a bag. I knew I needed a red or navy structures bag. But I could not find one that met my practicality requirements. I came home with a pale grey unstructured bag. And it’s the best thing ever!

Well, thank you ALL for sticking with me as I home in on my question. Now I feel like we are speaking the same language!

I hear many of you saying that once you define your style and requirements for different garments, it can be harder to find what you’re looking for. That makes sense. I’m reassured to hear that. It makes me feel less alone. Thank you Brooklyn, Cee, suntiger, smittie, texstyle and others. Maybe I’m in a spot right now where I’m no longer buying random stuff, but haven’t yet assembled all the right stuff. Ok. Patience.

Jussie I think you’re on to something with respect to completer pieces. The problem can’t be that I don’t have enough clothes, from a pure numbers perspective, lol! But I suspect they’re not distributed correctly across categories. I continue to buy things that are easy — chiefly cardigans. What I need are tops. But they’re vastly harder to fit for me. So, a lower percentage of what I buy actually works, and I also notice myself having an inner barrier to actually making a purchase — because I’m just not as confident.

Anchie I LOVE your 8 capsules system! Gorgeous visuals and I can see how everything hangs together. I do this to some degree by dividing my wardrobe into different seasonal capsules driven by color palette. That has helped a lot — if I don’t have a good answer to “in what season are you going to wear that?” I don’t buy it. But I don’t conceptualize the capsules as non-overlapping the way you do (assigning things to only 1 capsule even if you combine across capsules in outfits). I need to think on that a little more and figure out if that would help.

La Ped, yes good point about retail vs. secondhand. I do shop retail as well these days. This year I’ve bought two popover tops at J. Crew that are absolute aces. And two t-shirts at Loft that I will likely rotate out at the beginning of next summer — the quality just isn’t there. Womp womp. I also buy pants and shoes mostly at retail. I think I’m still getting to know retailers and haven’t quite found who is a good bet for quality, style, and fit for my body type. I’m doing a lot of retail browsing and am open to purchasing, but in practice, most of the purchases I make continue to be secondhand because that’s where I’m finding what I want.

Fashintern, thanks for those links. Sorry to have led you down the garden path, lol!

rachylou, Liz, and Suz you ask really good questions. I’m not sure I can answer them straight off. I think this week I’ll set myself a challenge: each morning set the timer for 5 minutes and try to put together an outfit, as in my description of what I want my wardrobe to be able to do. And see what the barriers actually are — where does the process fall apart? Then I will report back! Maybe even with WIW pics!!!

Suz, yes I hear you re: being open to experimentation. I think I’m open to being drawn to something for initially inchoate reasons and trying it out. Sometimes it doesn’t work (J. Crew leopard-print velvet) — oh well, and next. Sometimes it does (J. Crew indigo popover with a high, ruffled neckline that I would normally nix, but somehow works just great). Sometimes it works so well that the wild card becomes a HEWI (floral sweatshirt from Anthro I bought last fall — I wear it so much I’d love 2 or 3 more, but haven’t been able to find any). I actually find a lot of pleasure in those surprising items! Major happiness factor every time I wear/use them, just like you are describing with your gray bag. But, the idea of working hard to define my style and then just having to conform to what retailers want me to wear after all…well, I can’t deny that feels like a bummer, you know?

Reading with great interest. Thank you for starting this thread, Sarah!

I’m back to say this is a great thread. I’m hearting it. Because it’s made me think about my shopping problems... while I like my closet so much better now, and I don’t feel I make many ‘mistakes,’ I definitely still have issues. Besides the ‘no rhyme or reason’ buys, when I like something I want to keep buying it over and over. In addition to the plaid puffy, I’m also sitting here wanting to buy another fuzzy pull-through scarf. How about I just wear the one I have more?

Right? Right.

It is a great thread.

We all approach things differently - and some people have more retail options, more time, or a greater budget to allow them to build a wardrobe. Second hand or very clear ideas make it harder at times to find the perfect piece. And as Brooklyn said, sometimes your tastes do not coincide with what is available.

For me, I tend to look at the areas of my life, and where I am struggling to get dressed - either feeling that I don't have options at all, or that my options are not what I want. This might be workwear, weekend wear, gym wear, occasion wear or some other aspect of your life. And the importance of these categories vary. I am happy to wear the same thing most weekends with minor variations, as I am to exercise in. I like a bit more variety for work and for nights out.

My wardrobe was in okay shape when I joined YLF but it is better now because I am clearer about my focus - so I don't have a collection of lovely but random tops that work for 2-3 months of the year with jeans. And I have focused more on having a base of essentials so I can easily get dressed. Having essentials that I like and am happy to repeat regularly really helps me get dressed quickly and easily. I wear many of these at least weekly.

I will now and go and read others comments.

ETA: I think that the unexpected work trip is a really hard one too especially when you work at home and the climate is different. I would struggle to get a week of professional or even work smart options available - I could do three days comfortably!! If you expect that to come up again I would be tempted to slowly get a couple of options that also work in your everyday life but that would work in that situation.

SarahD8, this is a GREAT thread. Very informative, interesting and useful. Thank you for starting it, and for diligently following up with encouraging and positive responses to comments. You made every poster feel like they mattered, were heard, and were validated. You ROCK.

Thanks to ALL for graciously contributing to this thread making it as rich as can be. (Thanks for the kind words too).

To answer your question, SarahD8: IT HAS TAKEN YEARS, many mistakes, effort, patience, honesty, and resources to get to where I am with my wardrobe and style. I feel blessed and lucky that my wardrobe is fully functional for my lifestyle and climates, a constant source of joy, full of items I adore and wouldn't change for anything, and makes me feel fabulous. When I add and subtract items from my wardrobe and my style, it's easy because there is a strong foundation and a signature look that I want to keep alive. My wardrobe is one part of my life that I don't worry about.

It's important to feel like you've hit your stride with your wardrobe and style - which takes time, resources, analysis, some soul searching, and a bit of luck! I also think that we need to create the right head space to feel SATISFIED, confident and positive about our look. While it is good to be critical and humble, it is not a good idea to go down the rabbit hole of comparing and despairing. We will never be happy. And the goal in life is to be happy and have peace in your heart, right?

Just one more thing, maybe you could get those tunics made to measure for you? I know it’s likely to be expensive and a bit of a time consuming endeavor in itself but it might be worth it.....

Are any of these helpful?
https://www.lordandtaylor.com/.....fer=AFF001

https://www.loft.com/long-slee.....Color=4166

https://www.loft.com/cowl-neck.....st+UK%2FEU

https://www.express.com/clothi.....770a180514 (Also comes in a wine color, and the “might also like” line was full of tunics)

https://www.lordandtaylor.com/.....fer=AFF001

https://www.anthropologie.com/.....erm=595641

Plain in the back, ugh. But you wanted something to wear with a long cardi, right? https://www.phase-eight.com/eu.....965c25a2b6

Lots of cute plaids, IMO https://m.euro.dorothyperkins......38;q=Tunic

I am just blown away by the generosity and supportiveness of people's comments here.

lisa p, rachylou, Sal -- I'm so gratified that you find this a useful thread. And a little gobsmacked, I know I have been doing a lot of whining! If this discussion is useful to others besides me that's a huge win.

Sal I think both you and Suz are right about the importance of attending to mini-capsules for infrequent events. I've been focusing mainly on my everyday wardrobe, but I think you are both right that if I don't have those other contingencies in place then I won't feel truly confident & sorted. I'll be attending this conference yearly for the forseeable future (knock wood) -- sometimes it's in a warm climate, sometimes cold. So I need 5 days' worth of business-casual appropriate outfits for each season. I think just a couple more tops and a couple more bottoms should do it -- it's just a matter of maintaining a bit of focus.

Angie, THANK YOU for your very kind words. It's reassuring to know that this has been a long process for you. I can see that the effort is well worth it. I take your point about not comparing. I hope I am more interested in understanding the process than competing in terms of results -- but it's good to check my intentions every once in a while.

Jussie, you know, sometimes I think if I used the time I spend browsing the internet for clothes to sew instead, my wardrobe might be in better shape! Not that simple of course but something to think about...

Fashintern, thanks for those links! I am mostly looking for woven tunics tbh. But, one thing that occurred to me -- could I experiment with wearing a heattech layer underneath a sweater tunic? Maybe that would keep me warm enough. And then, another option for an at-home outfit formula could be comfy jeans, sweater tunic, maybe a pair of earrings to feel 'finished' -- similar to what Suz describes for her work-from-home outfits. Throw on riding boots and a scarf in an interesting color or print when I leave the house. Easy, comfortable, polished enough.

Another thought I had: in those cases where I don't have too many options for creating an outfit formula, as with my ponte leggings that I prefer to wear with those longer tops I lack -- could I experiment and come up with ways to use accessories to make the same base garments look/feel like really distinct outfits? I think I'll take that on as an exercise too -- probably not this week. But it has promise.

ETA: And I have also been thinking about the fact that it is so much easier for me to buy cardis than tops for example. Well, that's because I've learned how to buy them -- what colors, details, measurements to look for. That took trial and error! It was a process. So there's hope that I can learn strategies to more reliably find items in other wardrobe categories as well.

Y'all, I am EXCITED to play in my closet again! Thank you thank you to all of you for your help!

Sarah - I think these infrequent events (such as an annual conference) are quite stressful as well and so when you don't feel well dressed it is more upsetting than too frequent a repeat at work or the odd "off" work look.

There have been threads in the past for people dressing for these conferences/travel wardrobes. I suspect three or so key pieces will add to this to make your current pieces work so well.

Sarah, so glad you’re excited about it again. I recall when you first started here, your capsule with winter gems blew me away.
So none of those tops work with the leggings? The 5th and last are woven. Do you have the comfy jeans you mention potentially pairing with sweaters?

My dear, SarahD8. I fixed my typos - sorry about that. Also, I changed the tone of the last paragraph to read WE/OUR, since it came across as if I was singling out you! That was not my intention. It was a general comment that WE need to be satisfied - myself included - apologies for the confusion.