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What to do when hubs likes it and you don't : Picture added

Mona

Veteran

I recently ordered a red cable knit pullover from BR on sale. It arrived yesterday and tried it on. It looked okay although a little bit too bulky for my taste. I was leaning on returning it when hubs walked in to the room and said "You look great in this". He has a great eye for colour and fashion in general and I greatly value his opinion.

I am at work right now so can't post pictures but just wondering what do you do in a situation like this.

Thanks

So I am attaching the photos of the sweater. What do you all say?

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42 replies

Latest reply was from columbine(erin)

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I'd return it... but maybe keep an eye out for something in that colour. But definitly let him know that it's the item itself and how it will fit into your wardrobe and lifestyle, and not how it looks on you that is making you do it. I think it's great to have a DH with a good eye.

gryffin

Veteran

Mona - this is the kiss of death for me. I've kept more than a few things that my husband was gaga over it and I was meh. I don't own a single one now. If I'm just a bit insecure and he loves it it might work out fine. But otherwise I find keeping those items is a mistake for me. Good luck but you know in your heart what you want to do.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Occasionally, I'll put on an outfit and feel kind of meh about it, only to have my husband compliment it, which makes me feel better and see the outfit with fresh eyes. But ultimately, I'm the one wearing it, so if it's a matter of comfort or fussiness, chances are the item will eventually leave my closet, even if hubs likes how it looks.

One time he was with me shopping and raved when I tried on a very cute dress in Karen Millen, but it was a size too small (the next size wasn't available) and it had a skirt silhouette I was not very comfortable with (it sort of flared at the hip and came back in in a tulip fashion, and to my eye, emphasized my hips too much), so I doubt that I would have bought it even if the fit had been right. So I'd say his opinion makes me take a second look, but the ultimate evaluation is always mine because there's usually some "good" reason I'm saying no.

On the flip side, when he doesn't like something, he's usually really good at articulating why, and I can often see his point once he's made it. I rarely keep something he doesn't like, because he usually pinpoints how it doesn't work for my style. The exception is when it's something that requires a little styling and I show it to him unstyled -- he needs to see a lot of things in the context of an outfit to appreciate them.

Let's see the sweater when you get a chance! It sounds lovely.

trekkiegirl

Veteran

Use it as lounge wear and only wear it at home say doing laundry or what not, when he will see you in it

Jenny H

Veteran

I would say to return it unless his liking it can make you feel better about it. I've had similar experiences with friends. They really liked something I felt "meh" about. Turned out I never wore it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I would ask him what he likes in particular. Maybe it is that shade of red and/ or a neckline or other detail. If so, you can probably reproduce in an item that makes you happier. But if it is just the overall "vibe" and it is a bit different from your usual, then that requires more thinking through in terms of what you do not like about it. If the fit is off/ comfort is poor/ fabrication poor, then I'd send it back regardless. And if it is downright contrary to your style persona, I'd send it back as well. But presumably you would not have ordered it if you thought that were the case.

Nebraskim

Veteran

I totally agree with Suz. Why does he like it? My spouse occasionally buys me clothing, often in colors I would never have considered, but then I try them on and love them. He reacts more to color than anything else. Without him, I never would have worked cobalt into my pallette. I have a few items I don't completely love but he likes me in them, so I wear them.

Glory

Veteran

I would return it but my DH is not at all vested in what I wear. I would look for something in the colour that is more to your taste.

Anonymous

Before returning, I would give it a second try on. Then if you know that you won't wear it, return it.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Never keep anything your'e lukewarm on. It wouldn't hurt to ask your hubs what it is he likes about the sweater, as Suz suggests, so that you have that knowledge in mind the next time you're out looking for sweaters, but absolutely DO NOT buy something that you will only wear around the house when he might see you in it! Lol

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Try it on again. It might grow on you in a day. That CAN happen when SO loves something on you. If you're still not in love - return the piece.

viva

Veteran

I like Angie's idea. I also love that your SO spontaneously admired your new sweater. Whatever you decide to do, enjoy that wonderful man and his compliment!

jackiec

Veteran

If DH said he liked it, I'd keep it. That's just me. My DH has a great eye for fashion so I do trust his opinion. On the other hand, he doesn't love it when I wear my baggy-butt BF jeans but I wear them anyways

Helena

Veteran

What Jackie said Unless you are feeling completely uncomfortable with it, then what Suz said. (because I'm original like that!)

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

What torontogirl said.

Anonymous

Geez, I always have the opposite problem. My husband wishes he had a "normal" quiet woman living in his house who wore jeans and t shirts. You'd wonder why he married me. Hmm. I wear the Eddie Bauer sweaters I occasionally get as a gift a few times, trying to convince myself if he likes them maybe I should learn something from that. This usually lasts through a couple of wears, then I just can't anymore. I feel like a horrible wife.

Anonymous

Keep, and try to see what he's seeing! You'll probably attract a whole different group of people when you're wearing it!

Mona

Veteran

Thanks for your invaluable advice, ladies. One of the style resolutions that I have made a few months back was not to keep an item unless I absolutely adore it on me. I think this is why, I am having a hard time keeping it. What is interesting though is that generally I don't have a problem if he does not like anything on me but I still keep and wear that item. It is proving more challenging the other way round.
I will post a pic as soon as I get home and may be let your eyes guide me.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

Janet's post is a mirror to my own. I needn't say more as it would be a complete repeat...

rachylou

Veteran

If he's got a good eye... I'd be inclined to keep it. It can be interesting to have a wild card like that thrown your way. And if you're me, there are times when you need to wear something that looks good, not what you love. Lol.

Marilyn

Veteran

If you don't love it, send it back.

missvee

Veteran

I love the colour on you but it *might* be a bit bulky so I think I would return it.
In situations like this I would tell DH that he's right about the colour but it's just not comfortable. Then I'd look for something else in the same colour, maybe with a bit more softness or drape.
Bottom line, don't keep it if you don't love it.

deb

Veteran

Do you think it is the color he likes? What if you found something that color but is not so bulky?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

The color is GORGEOUS on you -- maybe that's what he's reacting to. However, I'm not a huge fan of that neckline -- I wish it were either a higher turtleneck or a crew neck, not that odd in-between height. And it does read slightly bulky or perhaps stiff in the photos. So I can see why you are not madly in love with it.

unfrumped

Veteran

The color is gorgeous and the sizing is good over the more fitted pants, but it would give me the same pause due to the cabling, which can be too bulky on me. I look for items that "collapse" a bit more, or else they just give me no shape. Sometimes just a little thinner or flatter knit is all I need, or the yarn must be more supple, or something.
Also I think the arms are wider than you need.

However, I am the worst about liking several things about a top, but not always being critical enough to walk away. This is not a "bad top," so that makes it harder, and it'll be more about whether you are trying to be picky and have a mental idea of what you want, the "know it when you see it" item. Those are the ones I'll wear a lot. I think sweaters are easier to find than some item , unless this red is your HEWI, for example, so I would tend not to settle.

I have to remember that if I buy one thing, it may mean I won't feel I can buy the better item when it comes along, so I'm trying to remember to save room for the fun of the search, and having things on my list that are unfulfilled so I look forward to them

Kristin SF

Veteran

I agree with the others - DH is probably responding to the color because it is simply STUNNING on you. That is a perfect example of why I love this color red.

But I also agree that it looks bulky due to the neckline - and thus you won't reach for it. I would return it and look for a turtleneck or a V-neck. Good luck!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Wow, the colour!!! No wonder DH loves it.

I would say you need to find something else in that red, pronto. And even this style would be fine if it were a bit more fluid/ not quite as chunky a knit.

Jules

Veteran

Yeah, cut is off slightly. Even a bigger turtleneck would balance the knit and the arms better and make the bulk work. And actually I can see a BIG, BRIGHT sweater working well on you with your hair and features - as well as a more fitted less bulky one - this is neither here nor there and probably wouldn't suit anyone, it's just off!

Helena

Veteran

That color is absolutely beautiful on you! You've found your power color, I'd say!

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