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What I should do vs. what I want to do

Anonymous

I'm posting this to keep me on the straight and narrow

I live in a warm climate and live a casual lifestyle. I'm not working right now so don't need much, we are having a record breaking hot fall (plus, hello hot flashes) and nobody around me dresses up. Sometimes, when I dress up to go out to dinner my husband sighs because he thinks it forces him to dress up when he doesn't want to.

What I really need are short sleeve tops. I've gotten rid of a lot that have worn out or pilled. I have more I should get rid of, but I need short sleeve tops all year round. I am so tired of my summer clothes, and that makes me want to both wear and buy fall clothing. I'm going to focus on replenishing short sleeve tees and blouses when it's early spring and there's more selection.

The lovely collection Angie has on the site today makes me want to try the red AT dress that I have nowhere to wear it. And I love the colors of the BR merino sweater, but I've yet to wear a sweater this season.

Trying to sit on my hands and not purchase anything ...

Fluted Sleeve Dress

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Banana Republic

Merino Sweater Vee

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33 replies

Latest reply was from

AviaMariah

Veteran

Stay strong!

Meredith

Veteran

Those BR sweaters are sheer anyway. Wink. It's hard, but stay strong! Hope you can find some short sleeve tops that excite you!

rachylou

Veteran

I hear ya.

*Don't do it, don't do it*

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Look for short sleeved tops that have something you love from these items (color, etc)

Anonymous

It seems to me like you would benefit from a short sleeve shopping session to get the fall clothes out of your system.

Maybe try looking online or non-mall stores to get the juices going.

There are so many pretty blouses out there that I wish I could buy but that don't really work for me in my cold winter climate. Actually, they don't work in the cold a/c either

Anonymous

It's pretty clear I'm just tired of wearing the same clothes for so long because the season hasn't changed enough to wear my fall clothes yet. And also, my short sleeve tops are diminishing due to wear, so I'm repeating more often than I prefer. It is the colors and details in the items I'm drawn to, and I can definitely focus my shopping on something more useful for my current lifestyle.

Poppy

Dear delurked,
Boy do I understand your frustration! I am a life long Minnesotan who moved to South Florida to finish up hubby's career.

I LOVE fall clothes; the fabrics, the deeper colors, the layers.
But I have no need (nor use) for such things. Its a cool-ish 80 degrees here as I type.

Paradise is hard when you are looking at the new fall catalogs. lol So I just tell myself, as you did, to stock up when the spring merchandise comes out. Be strong. We will get thru this together.

JAileen

Veteran

I know what you mean. I loved the snake boots in Angie's post today, but I don't need any more boots! I mustn't buy them. I used to live on the Gulf Coast in the heat and humidity. When it got to be fall, but it was still hot, I wore summer clothes in fall colors. Where I live now, we have winter and summer temps in the same day. This morning it was 32, and and it's supposed to get to 70 this afternoon!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

More commiseration here - it's 80+ today and will be warmer tomorrow. I have stood strong in not buying any more sweaters after purchasing one on a trip I took this summer and realizing I may never really get to wear it unless I'm traveling. I have a couple of lighter cashmere sweaters and those are the only sweater weight I can bear in our warm climate.

I'd really love a top with the sleeves like that red dress and have been looking for one, but haven't found the right one for me. I agree that BR sweaters are usually thin and don't wear well in my experience so it's easy for me to pass on those.

I'm making an effort to wear some of the things I didn't already wear a lot this summer. And in the morning it is cooler so I sometimes do wear a long sleeved top until after lunch, especially if I'm going out in the morning. I do hope retailers begin to take notice that many of us are not living in sub-zero weather even in winter.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Stay strong, delurked!
What about keeping an eye out for nice long-sleeved tops, too? You could shorten the sleeves!

El Cee

Veteran

I also commiserate. We had a freaky-warm start to Fall even up here in the Northeast... and it is still nowhere near coat and heavy sweater weather. I adore cashmere but find it too warm for my own climate. And I, too, am also in that "perpetual summer" phase of life. I also have too much of a tendency to buy things that are way too dressy for my very casual lifestyle. That lovely red dress that you show would definitely be calling my name if I did not exert a ton of willpower.

You should treat yourself to a few lovely new light weight or sleeveless items -- perhaps some things in shades that would give you the feeling of autumn without the bulk.

shedev

Veteran

Just reading your title I was going to tell you to do what you want to do. Fashion is one of the few areas where I get to do what I want. But when it comes to temps, I do what I should. I hope you find a couple tops that work for you. I have to wear summer tops with toppers to work all year due to crazy temp fluctuations at the jobsite. You have my sympathy.

RobinF

Veteran

We have a chance for our first snow (late this year) this coming weekend, if that makes you feel any happier about your weather

I agree with those suggesting some short sleeves in fall colors. I would have to change up my wardrobe if I didn't have seasons, just from boredom. That dress and sweater are really cute but no fun if you can't wear them.

Anonymous

Echoing the "stay strong" mantra.

I hope your hands don't go numb though from sitting on them!

Dottie

I get where you're coming from. It's very warm here the majority of the year as well. Rather than buying something that you'll hardly ever use, like the dress (see the thread about learning from our mistakes :-), perhaps take inventory of your winter sweaters and see where/if you have a wardrobe hole. I like the idea of an autumn colored sleeveless or short sleeved sweater that could easily move into spring as well.

On the other hand, if you think about it, spring items will appear in the stores soon! You can do it!

MrsK

Another transplant to the South here, and I totally hear you. What about buying fall colored sleeveless tops and then adding cardigans when it does get cooler? That's pretty much what I do. I love the transition to fall colors - and sometimes I feel silly wearing peach, light turquoise, etc. in the winter. Plus, as you said, I'm sick of some of my summer clothes.

I accompanied my friend shopping yesterday and Loft actually has some really pretty, patterned tops in navy, rust, teal, burgundy, etc. I added just a few Finds as examples.

I imagine there are lots available at other stores too. I plan on doing the same thing in a couple of weeks when I go on a shopping trip.

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Geo Floral Smocked Shell

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Geo Lacy Split Neck Shell

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Anonymous

Lots of good wisdom here. I agree fall colored tops could help with feeling like autumn. I also like the idea of making a long sleeve top into short sleeves. I have a couple cardigans, but I've moved away from them in recent years.

I have been pretty good this year about buying for my day to day life and just admiring on others things that are not useful to me.

I happen to think the structure of fall clothes is part of what appeals to me. There was a recent thread from texstyle about this topic. A lot of the time it's too hot for most wovens, and I don't really like wearing sleeveless, although it would make sense to avoid the difficulty in fitting my shoulders. I'll definitely be looking for some wovens though that are cooler for summer wear.

The other thing I'm trying to be good at is not buying deep into a category. I've been know to have the thinking if one is good, three is better. then I get tired of a style, and I have too much to pass along.

I'm holding strong for now - in part because I am thinking of where I would want to spend money and comparing a top I would wear often with a dress that does not have a designated time to be worn. But obviously a bit more newness within categories I need may be welcome.

Anonymous

Dottie - it's kind of crazy to think that spring items will be here before all that long.

unfrumped

Veteran

I hear you! Especially on going too deep, or over- duping.
I do like having some " warm fall " tops, though. I keep an eye out for linen knits in rust or teal and such.

Trying to sit on my hands re: sweaters. With our warm fall weather, I only just got out my real sweaters so it was hard to think about what I already had, but meanwhile lovely new sweaters were showing up.

Anonymous

Unfrumped - I have lightweight cotton sweaters for the most part. Some are many years old and I considered getting rid of at the end of last winter. If I wear them this year, I will make some decisions about if they are too worn to keep past this season. And once I get some colder weather items into rotation, it may stop me from eying sweaters online so longingly.

Plus, I will be able to tell if there are any winter weather holes for next year. I have a loft signaturesoft sweater from last year or the year before. I thought for sure I would get another since I like it a lot, but none of what I tried on seemed right, so I didn't force it just because what's out now isn't quite right. I would like a mid to light weight v neck sweater in a vibrant color, but only if I stumble across it in person. I don't want to play the buy online and return game for something that's not pressing.

Joy

Veteran

Stay strong and plan for warm/hot fall days in the future. You might look for short sleeved tops on EBay.
I find knits warmer to wear than wovens. Just the nature of extra threads in a knit must make it so. Don't settle for anything that you don't love. You will tire of it quickly. I am used to hot fall days and getting sick of my summer clothes. I have a plaid silk tee in fall colors and a linen sweater and tank set in burnt orange that get saved until September. They are still in regular rotation now in mid November. Peep toe and sandal type booties feel just right on hot fall days. Colors such as navy, brown, and olive work well for fall and are often available in hot weather styles. My olive silky joggers from Target have been casual workhorses as have a pair of chocolate cotton cargo pants

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I totally hear you. I am strangely drawn to puffers. The thought of a beautiful cozy puffer. Never mind that it is rarely puffer weather here and I own as many coats as we have days of winter...including at least one puffer. Focus on the color and the details and challenge yourself to find something you can actually wear that features them.

tulle

Veteran

Why not check out online sales of your favorite brands? You may find appealing warm-weather tops, even a cotton or linen sweater, at great prices, and get some things you actually need. If they happen to come in somewhat Autumnal colors, so much the better.

P.S. When we go out, and my husband says, "You look kind of dressed-up," I just tell him not to worry, I'm dressing up for both of us.

Anonymous

Tulle - I definitely do online shop, but I've noticed my success rate is much higher when I purchase items in person. Unfortunately, there are many stores not available where I live, so it's become a balancing act between trying on before purchase vs the larger selection online provides. I can't believe Thanksgiving is is close. I will definitely check my fave online stores then, and maybe the answer is to broaden where I look.

I like your comment about dressing up for both of us. I don't necessarily make the choice of not dressing up - we often look mismatched, which I'm ok with too. My goal is to find pieces that make me feel really good, so that can mean passing up on a lot of mediocre, and can be somewhat time consuming.

Shevia - I've not worn a puffer yet, but there are certainly some cute ones out there.

April

Veteran

Delurked, I'm going to be the spanner here and say, unless there are serious economic constraints against doing so, Be weak. Buy the dress and wear it. You don't need "someplace to wear it." Just wear it -- as long as you're not, like, spraypainting a car or doing something really messy with farm animals.

Your husband will get used to the idea that we can dress up more than twice a year, and that he can look at you looking like you "made an effort" without feeling pressured to do so himself. He may even grow to feel flattered that you made that effort and that he gets to enjoy the results!

approprio

(website)

Veteran

I agree with April. That looks like a dress you could wear and enjoy just for the heck of it. Everyone has somewhere to go, even if it's just to the shops.

Anonymous

April and approprio - I have a plan. I'll try to schedule a shopping trip to look for something I wear more often first. If the dress still calls me in a week, I'll order it and try it out. I'm drawn to red dresses, but once I have them on they don't feel like my best color. Luckily I cannot recall a time of spray painting cars or messy farm animals, so I should be in good shape on that score.

Anonymous

Ahem - now that I think about it, I've bought and moved along at least three red dresses after only a couple wears. Not sure if it's settling trying to find this HEWI, or a hint I should go with a slightly different hue to get the same effect.

minimalist

Veteran

"The Hue of the HEWI" could be YLF's own atonal garage band, touring with rotating members.

Thanks for posting this thread. So painfully relevant. The fantasy lifestyle items I'm drawn to would require a very different climate, and other things different to the lifestyle I'd have (and have had) even in that climate. As Suz has mentioned, this may be other issues coming home to roost in the wardrobe. I'm not entirely sure what to do with that.

Mr Maximalist is usually much better dressed than I am, and he doesn't mind how comical that sometimes looks. I guess I'm in your husband's role a bit there: I feel I should make an effort to look like we're together, and not like he's taking his tow-truck driver to dinner or something. (He would say, and so what if he was?!)

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