I joined YLF a couple of weeks back, hoping that it will be the perfect place for me to learn more about style and fine-tune my sense of style. You see, for the last 5 years, my natural sense of style has been at odds with my real lifestyle. Let me elaborate.
I work from home. I freelance, so I rarely ever goto meetings and always connect with clients over the phone or emails. I never actually have to wear formals. Even my weekends are real casual....dinners with friends, movies, shopping at malls etc. On a day to day basis, I lead an active lifestyle where I go for everyday jogs and long walks with my dog. My real life requires me to wear comfortable casuals and lots of track pants and tee shirts (sportswear).
Yet, for as long as I can remember, I've always felt more myself in structured and dressier clothes. I am not your average jeans and tshirt girl. In fact, you'll almost never find me sporting just a casual t-shirt with jeans if I'm going out. I do wear jeans but almost always with a dressier top that is comfortable but has interesting patterns/details. But through the week, I DO wear a lot of shorts and capris and tights paired with tops. I always feel blah. Always.
Until it's the weekend. When everyone else is enjoying relaxed fits and casual clothes, I wear my pencil skirts and fitted dresses and dressy pants with dressy tops. I have a big collection of these clothes...but they only come out to play on weekends. I know what you're thinking ---- don't I feel odd dressed like Im about to head to office for a fancy client meeting? The truth is - I don't. I really don't care because I'm HAPPY in these clothes. And because they're too structured to wear at home, I prefer to wear them when I go out, irrespective of where I'm going or how others will be dressed around me. To make matters worse, it isn't just the clothes. Even my accessories are more office-appropriate. I find myself gravitating towards structured bags and formal handbags like bowling bags and satchels more than relaxed hobos, bucket bags and casual totes. My shoes are mostly always pumps with round or pointed toes or dressy flats with pointed toes too. Shoes you'd wear with pencil skirts and dresses essentially.
I feel the best in these outfits. I feel attractive and feminine and happy....I feel stylish too, even in a sea of women sporting boxy cropped tops with relaxed distressed denims, I don't feel odd. I appreciate and enjoy seeing those clothes on others, not myself.
However, it has been bothering me lately and I decided to make a change. I decided I must dress for the life I live and have been trying to look presentable and comfortable. I do a WIW for Work From Home everyday. Many of you like what I wear and tell me it's very well suited to my lifestyle. Then why am I not happy wearing it?
I feel like if I'm making an effort to coordinate an outfit and not just pull out the first thing I see n put it on, I should feel great in it right? But the truth is I don't. I get by my day and continue longing for the weekend. Sad truth is there are only so many weekends every summer. While we do have almost 8 months in an year where we wear summer clothes, that's still only 35-40 weekends there. Some weekends I don't end up going out at all, friends come over or I'm happy to watch tv at home and order in something to eat as I lose myself in a good book. So another opportunity lost. I actually pressurize myself to go out on weekends just because I'm dying to wear something I think looks and feels great, even if I would actually prefer to stay home. Isn't that a little sad? Oh hell, it's more than sad. It's downright atrocious.
This has turned into a rather long rant. I apologize. But I'm really feeling lost today. I had a free afternoon and was playing in my wardrobe. I created 2 casual looks and sent pics to my sister who absolutely loved the looks. So why didn't I?
What do you think I should do? Would it be so bad to wear my structured pants and tops at home? Even pencil dresses n skirts made from comfortable fabrics? What's the worse that can happen - they will get ruined and maybe I'll get over the look because I've worn it enough? Does that sound insane?
Maybe if I wear them enough over the week, I'll actually feel good in casuals over the weekend and be able to enjoy my weekends doing casual activities ( it's what my husband and friends prefer too...but I always plan atleast one fancy dinner). Should I even be forcing myself to love casuals if I don't really? I'm miserable trying to love casual comfortable clothes here....looking forward to the next weekend when I get to dress up.
If you've read this rant all the way till here, I thank you for your patience. Do you have any advice for me? I would truly value your inputs. What am I doing wrong here?