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What are your must-haves? What are the absolute basics I should be looking at?

Anonymous

You know those lists of the 5 pieces every woman needs to own? I never relate to them, and never come away with anything I can use for myself. I don't want a white shirt! I hate white shirts! I don't want an LBD! I have no-where to wear one!

Now , of course I know these lists are to be taken with a grain of salt, and are absolutely tailored to one's lifestyle but it's the theme behind my current malaise: I have nothing to wear and have a closet full of one-offs. I've been on the forum now since the summer, and vowed to get my wardrobe under control when I started participating and reading. I'm not sure I've achieved anything other than knowledge, which hasn't translated into acquiring the pieces that make up a working weekday/daytime wardrobe.

I now know many of you, and I know there are quite a few of us who share a similar lifestyle: full-time career, but work from a home office, lots of casual activities on weekends, and little call for suits/dresses and other formal wear. So tell me: what are the , say, 5 or 7 or 8 pieces that form the backbone of your closet. That are essential to mixing and matching. That you would absolutely repeat if you had to start fresh. That you replace often because they get worn that much.

I honestly feel I am a bit clueless here. Intellectually I know what to do but I know I'm defensive and resistant to certain things because I'm afraid of them. I'm also the most impatient and hurried shopper there is. I hate browsing and trying on. So I end up buying and rebuying the same things - and they are all stand-alone statement=y things that I rarely wear. For example, I recently bought the most beautiful lilac cashmere oversized sweater . Gorgeous, and a colour I know looks great on me. I've worn it once. Why? Because all I have to wear it with are black pants . Bored already. And it seems intimidating to have to continue to buy more things to go with other things - the cycle doesn't seem to end. But I know I need to start somewhere, and i would love your help.

If you have a small budget to use for a select number of pieces, what has worked best for you that I might learn from?

Dressing

70 replies

Latest reply was from jackiec

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Hmmm. From the way you describe the incident with the lilac sweater, it sounds like you're more of a mix and match person than an outfit repeater. Do you like accessories? You can give things a different feel with different jewelry, shoes and bags. I'm not that much of a jewelry person so that doesn't work for me, but I know it does for others.

A list off the top of my head: jeans, in skinny, straight leg, and bootcut in lighter blue, dark denim, and a couple colors - black and/or gray. Knit tees that I can wear alone during the warmer months or under a cardigan or jacket, in colors that flatter me. Comfortable flats. V neck cardigans. Ponte knit jackets. Pull on knit dresses for summer.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(psssssst.....Lisa.......I think you mean Essentials, and not Basics).

http://youlookfab.com/2014/10/.....ssentials/

Why can't you wear your new lilac sweater with jeans?

My Essentials Include:

Solid neutral turtlenecks - fluid
Shirts - crisp and plaid
Faded blue and white Jeans - straight leg and boyfriend
Dressy black trousers
Moto Jackets
Blazers
Denim jacket
Footwear to bookend the colour of my hair
Man's watch

Dimity

I would choose:
grey straight leg pants in cotton mix
A-line skirt in camel
a classic cashmere sweater with a V neck in navy
straight leg jeans
navy and white striped t shirt
navy tunic top
red cardigan
For me, these would be clothes I could wear every day except in hot weather, when a grey cotton dress with cotton lace will be very handy.

Anonymous

Laura - I'm actually a total outfit-repeater. The lilac sweater example I suppose was not a great one - but I was using it as an illustration of how I buy these wonderful individual pieces and then never wear them more than once or twice because I don't have anything to mix and match them with. I'm also not terribly creative that way. It's not my strength in dressing, that's for sure.

Angie - yeah, quite possibly . I'm using the terms interchangeably here. And yes, lilac sweater would look excellent with jeans, which I don't own (in my current size) , and if I had the right footwear to work with a lilac sweater. It's a perfect example of buying something i like the colour of, but have no pieces with which to support it. I suppose the question could be: how many colours should I start with? I don't want to be buying and rebuying everything in black

Dimity - I like your suggestions, thank you. Navy and camel are among my favourite colours. And I'm being increasingly drawn to red.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I can't remember, can you wear denim on a workday, Lisa? Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen has some nice capsule wardrobe posts that might be useful:

http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/.....drobe.html
http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/.....trals.html
http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/.....ravel.html

And Angie's older MOTG posts might be useful too, especially for more casual days.

ETA: there's nothing wrong with repeating an exact outfit every week or whenever, if you like it! I think there was a conversation about that here recently - some folks here prefer to repeat an entire outfit exactly, and some prefer to mix and match.

Deborah

Veteran

I don't know why but I find this difficult lol. Firstly, I am so with you Lisa on those 10 must have lists. They are kind of silly because they just don't take into account lifestyle:) And I think they assume that we are all modern classic dressers:)

Ok, back bone items of my wardrobe as in would die without them.. ok maybe not but certainly my wardrobe would not function.

This covers all seasons:)

Slim leg pants
Substantial leggings
Skinny Jeans
Black Dresses (a couple)
Tunics / Oversized Tops
Ankle Boots / Tall Boots
Draped Jackets
Sleeveless Jackets
Large Leather Tote Bag
Modern Silver Jewellery
- do I need to stipulate everything above is in black

I actually think if I only had one of each these items I could function quite well. Of course I would have to do washing and dry cleaning more frequently but hey.

Lisa I find I don't get bored any more. I have found that, for me, boredom and having too much went hand in hand. Now I invest more time and money into my purchases and I guess I am a lot more invested in them. I cannot honestly recall the last time I walked into my closet feeling bored or that I had nothing to wear. Of course this is not for everyone but for me narrowing my style preferences, colour palette, silhouette has been life changing in terms of a successful wardrobe.

I so wish I lived close, we could have lunch, and then play in your wardrobe.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I'm not sure what they would all be for me but definitely comfortable jeans and ponte pants in winter. I seem to be wearing sweaters quite a bit too so I would say t-neck and scoop neck simple sweaters in natural fibers.

Anonymous

Deborah - as I just replied to Torontogirl on her recent Project333 post, I think this minimal thing might be my solution. I love a good piece, and love buying more expensive clothing. I think I would be just the candidate for buying more of less. I try, but never quite hit the right pieces. I too wish you could come over and sort this stuff out for me

Laura - yep, I can do jeans for work, and know I need a good pair. I have trouble with them - they are like bathing suits in terms of being my button-pushers. I hate trying them on, and hate trying to figure out how they are supposed to fit. I buy what I think fits, wear them once, and then don't like them. I just can't keep doing that - I can't afford the mistakes! When I was smaller, it was a cinch. Everything fit just fine. Now, not so much

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ah, Lisa, I hear you.

And, let me just say here for the record, part of this is seasonal!!!! And you have to cut yourself some slack because you live in Winnipeg.

People, SERIOUSLY. This is a climate where it's regularly -30C below in the winter with a whack of snow. And a lot of wind. Spring comes late, and is humid, and a mosquito's paradise. And then there is summer, which is nasty, brutish, and short. But as hot as Hades for at least a few weeks.

My climate is (only slightly) less extreme. But what I've discovered is that even with the same lifestyle throughout, my essentials change with the seasons.

Let's focus on winter, because this is where we are at:

Jeans: One fantastic mid-wash denim skinny. One light neutral skinny (i.e. cream or white). One patterned skinny (plaid for me).

Pants: one wool bootleg or wide leg or straight leg or whatever in a medium or dark neutral. One slim black or charcoal or navy (basically, your dark neutral).

Skirt: there is no essential skirt for me. I like them but in winter they are not essentials for my life.

Dress: I need a special occasion dress (or skirt with top). Just in case.

Shirts: a couple of button fronts in silk, cotton, flannel. Pick your colour/neutral/ pattern.

Jacket: Dark neutral.

Pullovers: Turtlenecks (for me) in dark and light neutrals. Crewnecks, one in a key colour.

Ankle boots: dark neutral. (Ideally, also one that bookends my hair but that is the holy grail HEWI this year).

Tall boots: Flat, for tucking jeans into.

Coats: One puffer, one fab wool coat. Also gloves, scarves, etc. And hat.

Extras that I love to have: cardigans, casual dress, skirt, other kinds of sweaters, etc. etc.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Suz, I don't know HOW you and other Canadians - Sveta, Lisa, Shannon, Lyn* - manage to look so incredibly stylish in your brutal weather. My hat off to you. Jackie and Elisabeth live in Vancouver - which is my weather. It's not ideal, but the Winters aren't nearly as harsh so it's easier.

Lisa, dear thing, why don't you have jeans that fit? We need to sort that out right away. And you have brown boots - or taupe I think? - any shade of brown looks great with lilac.

Sal

Veteran

OK, when I think about what I thrashed (and enjoyed wearing frequently) over winter this year it was:

Kimono jacket - dressy evening occasions
4 pairs of jeans
Parka
Grey merino sweater, shortish and boxy, and gave new life to several older pieces
Two pairs of ankle boots
One pair of pointy heels

I have seen you in some stunning jackets and a "skull sweater" type thing - maybe some new awesome well cut jeans or similar could give your ankle boots and jackets a lift.

The climate must be a challenge, my climate is probably more akin to Seattle with less rain.

Deborah

Veteran

Lisa can you define what your essentials would be?

What do you feel you need to have a functioning wardrobe.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

Based on what I have seen you wear to date, I would say your essentials are slim pants, jeans, boots, simple solid sweaters and a variety of amazing scarves to add jazz to the simple clean lines of your pants and tops. A jacket or two (indoor not outdoor) with interesting shape or detail in neutrals would probably be needed too.
How is that for trying to read you on little information?

Peri

Veteran

My essentials are so common:

Comfortable black pants
Pullover sweaters in colors I like, which are many

That's it, that's how I live. The above always worn with cool jewelry, a scarf or both. Your gorgeous lilac sweater and black pants that you say are boring...I would happily be wearing them weekly or even more often, but maybe varying the accessories. I don't know how you feel about that, but I find accessories go a long way towards keeping things fresh and fun even with frequent repeats.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

Everybody's will be different, but here's mine:

- Generous & drapey tees that function like blouses. They're like a stack of oil pastels. I need black, grays, whites & some favorite colors.
- Jeans in several shapes & colors. I love skinny black, cropped white, lots of dark washes & boyfriends with some fade & whiskering.
- Skirts that can be washed and worn without fuss. I like to always have one denim skirt and one black pencil skirt.
- Button up shirts that are cut like a mans shirt. I prefer chambray to white. This year I'm enjoying plaid. I never buy multiples. Just one of each. Drapey black rayon or silk is very useful. A bright shirt is nice too, if it's in one of your best colors.
- Classic toppers like Angie referenced: an iconic jeans jacket, an old school moto, a fatigue jacket, a 70s style suede coat.
- Sweaters! Cardigans and pullovers. Just a few.
- Slouchy dresses. I do not like structured dresses, but that's just me.
- A trench coat. Sorry: NorCal girl here. I'm sure there's a lot more coatflesh required in Winnipeg!
- Enough shoes that I can wear a different pair every day of work, so multiple boots, multiple flats, multiple sandals. I own some heels but wouldn't care if I never wore them again. Not my jam!
- Lounge & workout comfy wear that I can change into the moment I get home. I seriously put my work clothes on when I'm ready to leave the house & get out of them the moment I return. No more cooking spatters, gardening mishaps or cleaning disasters in my work capsule.

There's no evening wear there. I just dress things up with shoes and jewelry. No suiting. I don't dress like that. When I have the above items in my closet I feel relaxed, happy and ready to face the day. Without them I feel crabby and unable to put myself together.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Dianthus nailed it. If your clothes are not fitting right, you just need new versions of these.

Also, I meant to say, in our climate, some "extras" are almost essentials. In your case, you already understand that this can include coats, and you have a sensational coat capsule. (We can all take lessons from you there.)

Meanwhile, I also think a variety of jean washes/ cuts (and/or slim pants) and a variety of boots/ booties, and a variety of knits are key in the winter climate.

I hope Una jumps in here. I feel like she is a soul sister here. She had a habit of buying statement items and felt bored by "essentials."

But once she figured this out, a little analysis got her to what she needed. A few key purchases later, and suddenly she was feeling happy with her closet and looking fab. Her whole style just came together like magic. (Only it wasn't magic; it had actually taken years of experimentation.) Suddenly she felt like herself all the time. And looked amazing. And could easily see what she needed to purchase next.

Deborah

Veteran

Lisa, I am supposed to be working.. you are a bad influence lol.

Just thinking this through. Do you have a favourite silhouette or outfit? What do you feel good in? Can you describe one outfit that you always feel fab in?

I think there is also an element of accepting what works for us rather than chasing something that may not exist. Does that make any sense?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I was just about to say something similar to Debs.

If jeans are a pain in the patootie to fit and buy, but there are other pants that do work -- BUY THE OTHER PANTS AND FORGET JEANS.

Seriously.

For years I never wore jeans at all. For whatever reason, I could never find a cut that worked and shopping for them was making me crazy. It seemed like I always had a wedgie, or weird stuff going on at the crotch, or they were falling down, or bagging at the knee...who knows? They just didn't work.

So I focused in those years on skirts, with a few dress pants thrown in.

Do what works, is my motto.

Staysfit

Veteran

I pretty much rebuilt my fall/winter wardrobe in new colors so I know my essentials:

1. Straight leg/skinny jeans
2. Turtle necks
3. Long sleeve crew necks
4. Pencil skirts
5. Button down blouse (silk preferred)
6. High quality weather appropriate fashionable footwear (booties, boots, weatherproof shoes)
7. Cardigan sweaters
8. Sheath dress
9. Flannel PJ's
10. Yoga/Pilates gear
11. Aasics running shoes

The rest is embellishment with scarves, jewelry, bags, etc. I didn't include coats in my list because I could create an entire wardrobe of coats for where I live!

I have much less in my closet now than I did several months ago. Finding a color palate and sticking to what I feel good wearing has helped. Getting feedback from YLF has helped when I have a specific concern about something. I wouldn't say I am done with my wardrobe transition, but I am done enough. It would be better if I had less gray, less winter white, and more color. I have the essentials. I can mix and match and make a large variety of outfits - maybe enough to last for 3 weeks without repeating.

In addition to having a color palate, I have used pinterest for outfit inspiration. I like pencil skirts for example, so I searched ways pencil skirts could be worn and pinned what I liked and then I hunted for ways to recreate the looks? perhaps that seems disjointed but because of the color palate, and planned in advance silhouettes, it has all come together well.

Gaylene

Veteran

Lisa, Suz gave a tip she read somewhere (sorry I can't be more specific in giving credit to the source) that really helped me when I had to cull down recently. Basically it was to build categories based on threes: three pairs of pants, three pairs of jeans, three sweaters, three layering T's, and so on. The trick is to not duplicate within a category--so three pairs of jeans could be a dark-wash skinny, a medium-wash boyfriend, and a white straight-leg.

That simple idea was so powerful because
(1) you create the categories that make sense for your lifestyle. You don't wear dresses, then no dress category for you; you wear casual pants constantly, then you need a casual pant category. One person might choose a just a sweater category and have only three sweaters in her wardrobe, while another person who lives in sweaters has a cardigan category, a pullover category, and a layering sweater category.

(2) you add variety to your wardrobe by varying the style, adding pattern, or pulling in a different color within each category. Works like magic for those of us who might be inclined towards three pairs of black pants or three pairs of classic, dark-wash jeans. I think Suz mentioned that the originator of the concept suggested one casual, one smart-casual, and one statement within each category as a good starting point, but it makes sense to adapt the variations to your own needs.

Finally, what I did was lay out all the items in their respective categories to make sure that there was some cohesion in silhouette and colors between the tops and the bottoms. In my case I deliberately chose two categories for bottoms ( jeans and pants)and four categories (pullovers, cardigans, jackets, and layering T's) for tops because I like my variety in my tops. I also cheated and doubled the number of layering T's so I could have at least a couple shortsleeve, long sleeve, and turtlenecks for laundry reasons). This meant that my essentials wardrobe consists of 6 bottoms and 15 tops/jackets--21 pieces, but lots of variety for my lifestyle. I also create a dressy category for occasional nights out that contained four pieces--a dress, a skirt, a glittery top, and a tuxedo-style jacket).

Suz's suggestion was total genius--so good, that I applied the same strategy to my handbags, my boots, my shoes, my night wear, my scarves--in short, to every aspect of my wardrobe.

ma342

My winter essentials:

-2-3 pairs of jeans in whatever cut/wash suits you.I have 6 pairs now, but I had fewer for two years when money was tight, and it was fine.
-At least 7 tees, some of which are dressy enough for work--short and long sleeved.
-6 cardigans.Mostly wool.
-3-4 pullover sweaters
-2-3 knit dresses
-1 blazer
-Winter coat. I have 2--one wool, one down puffer--but there were many years when I got away with one. Warmth, however, is non-negotiable.

Also 3 pencil skirts and 2 pairs of dressy trousers/suit pants, but I'm guessing you have little use for these if you work from home.

Buy mostly neutrals within a color palette you can mix and match. This is key, but takes a certain amount of self-discipline. You'll have fewer fun/statement pieces, but a lot more actual outfit possibilities.

Anonymous

Suz - thanks for indulging me my whining. I hate to whine/whinge. Yours is a good list, and thank you. We do not share a similar body type at all, so much of what works for you won't work for me, but I want to learn from the ideas. Thanks again for your reply. And Winnipeg is not QUITE as horrible as you make it sound:) My issue is not climate related, it's more about my inability to figure out what to buy that will mix and match without being relegated to one-look status. The bookending bootie was this year's holy grail - fail for me too.

Angie - I'm tagging your reply as comedy for calling me a dear thing Oh dear. I have no jeans that fit because I am either gaining weight or am changing shape as I age/enter menopause. I have no idea which. I can't bring myself to check the scale because it's essentially meaningless and guaranteed to throw me into a tailspin. I have about 10 pair of jeans that fit a smaller figure than what I currently sport. Sure, I can assume/think/try to get back to where I was, but I wonder if it's possible or even reasonable to struggle so hard to be a size my body isn't meant to be. I tried buying a pair of jeans a few weeks ago in a bigger size, thought they were fine, then after wearing for a day or two found them baggy and just blah. I suppose I'm afraid to invest money in higher priced jeans because i have no luck buying a pair I can rely on.

You're right, I do have taupe and brown boots, but not a winter-weight coat that works with them. I seem to have a ton that works for fall, not winter. Again, how many colours do you need for this all to work? I am not investing in yet another coat, will have to save that for another year.

kiwigal - I think you've hit on something with the jeans and pullovers - that's where I am lacking. I have sweaters, but nothing I find I wear again and again.

Deborah - I think I should be a capsule person, a project 333 woman etc. A group of pieces that work together , not alone. I get all excited about the idea, but then in reality, never find in stores what goes into these capsules. All I want is a small collection of the best things I know I can rely on day after day, that work with each other. I know how to buy a statement/unique piece. In fact, I'm the queen of one-offs. I need to hire a stylist. The silhouette I favour is easy for me to identify: anything that flatters. I don't even know what that is anymore. Lol. Again, I need to hire a stylist. Can you imagine how wonderful it would be to shop with one?

Suz again - I know, buying new stuff that fits is the answer. And that's where I am at. Obviously I can't redo an entire wardrobe, so I am essentially starting fresh. Hence my fear, yet also my desire to finally get this right. Jeans are so culturally important, and I love them! I want to make it work without investing in $200 premium denim until I am sure I am happy with them. I make SO many buying mistakes.

Once again, I am looking for thoughts on what constitutes the must-haves, and how many colours to focus on at once.

Anonymous

ma342 - thank you for adding your thoughts- I can relate to your comments. My basics are what seem to be lacking.

Anonymous

Gaylene - wow, this is great information. Really. I have resisted taking the time to sort things out in my closet for fear of seeming frivolous and obsessed with clothes (something my husband does not like and support). I don't want to admit that it takes time and thought to spend money correctly. Dumb, isn't it?

Anonymous

staysfit - thank you for your thoughts - I know you've been doing something similar with rebuilding albeit with a different issue behind it./

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gaylene, I am blushing. (And since it's thanks to your suggestions that I finally got my summer wardrobe in order, and figured out more than a few travel capsules, I am happy to have returned the favour.)

It was Unfancy who had that idea. So she's the one who deserved credit.

Mo had a similar idea. Hers as based more on a Vivienne files type thing.

Pick your categories -- whichever ones make sense for YOUR lifestyle. So if you wear jeans all the time, jeans is a category. If you don't, then maybe skirts are a category. Whatever.

Then choose one dark neutral, one light neutral, and one colour or pattern in each category.

But Lisa, I think your real question is deeper than this, though. It is "How do you pick your categories?"

And that goes to how you actually live...the things you actually do. And what you feel most comfortable wearing when you are doing those things.

Not what you WISH you would feel most comfortable wearing or enjoy wearing. What actually works for YOU.

Here's an example. When Jennifer (Shiny) used to work from home, she often dressed in ...well....dresses and skirts and other outfits that many people would consider "too dressy" for home. She felt good in these clothes. She enjoyed wearing them. And didn't feel overdressed in any way. She also looked great!

(Ironically, she might actually be dressing a bit more casually now that she is a road-warrior!)

Meanwhile, despite the fact that I am also very polished and have a "dressy" sensibility -- I simply would not feel comfortable wearing pencil skirts or structured dresses for my work at home life. I LOVE the look, but I wouldn't like how I felt if I wore that all the time.

Nor would I feel good working from home in loungewear. I know because I used to do it. I didn't feel fab. Granted, a really wonderful loungewear capsule might mitigate that. But ideally, I like a little more structure in my outfits. Not much (because comfort rules) -- but some.

Once I'd sorted that out, I realized that I needed to look for a very specific kind of clothes. Something that would feel right in my circumstance.

Could the problem be partly that you are trying to buy clothes that you think you "should" be wearing....but which actually don't work for you all that well?

Anonymous

Suz - I buy things trying to create a workable collection. I don't succeed because I don't buy the right things - either because I can't find what I decide is key to pull things together, or because I fall back on the old reliables (black cashmere sweaters) . The internet, and this blog, is full of ideas and suggestions,but in reality I don't see the options at retail , or maybe don't know how to identify them if they are there. What I want is mix and match and wear, wear, wear. And you are dead right - I probably don't know what looks good on me, and what I should be wearing, because that has changed over the past few years, and old ideas are no longer valid. I am not body-confident at all, and this is a new thing. I think I am fighting myself every step of the way.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh. How many colours and neutrals? It's really personal. But check the Vivienne Files for that kind of thing.

My personal take is that you need one dark neutral, one light neutral, and a couple of colours.

But you don't have to be so limited; that's just a good place to start.

I sort of fudge it myself because one of my colours AND neutrals is blue. Everything from ink to baby blue, with denim and navy being key.

I also wear grey (from charcoal to dove), winter white (and white, and ivory), and taupe as neutrals. But since they all work together, no problem.

Black is more of a colour than a neutral for me. I do wear it, but not a ton of it.

Other colours for me are the berry family (cranberry, raspberry, etc. and fuchsia), and occasionally a teal.

Picking colours and neutrals is definitely a great place to start. You can whittle some things out, if you do that, and see cohesion really quickly.

What are your current colours, do you think? What neutrals do you love the most?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Lisa, HUGS. You are absolutely gorgeous in every outfit I've ever seen on you, and look fantastic in your clothes from what I can tell.

I think you are your toughest critic, or if there is a tougher one, I want to come out there and whop him.

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