Weird (Possibly Body Dysmorphic) Question... - YouLookFab Forum

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Weird (Possibly Body Dysmorphic) Question...

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Someone asked me about the shape of my calves today, and with the ability of WIW's to track back a year, I was looking at some body changes. I don't really understand too well why they're going on - I'm not really doing anything too differently - I probably exercise and eat better than I ever have ...

1/3/5 are old, and 2/4/6 are fairly new - I feel that my legs have changed shape, even in the same pair of heels (1 vs. 2) and (3 vs. 4).

Most distressingly, I find my collar bones are changing (5 vs. 6).

I don't really understand why this is happening, or is it just in my mind?

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Body Type

40 replies

Latest reply was from Jenava

Molly L-R

Treading very carefully... The only difference I can see is that perhaps your legs are skinnier in #1 than any of the other photos. But you're still very, very small. Does it bother you that your collarbones don't jut out as much as they used to? Why?

annaj

Veteran

I don't think you have anything to worry about!! Any changes are subtle, and weight gain/loss is not obvious (I can't tell if you have or haven't!). If you feel good, eat well, and look after yourself, I wouldn't be worried at all!

Anonymous

First off, roughly how old are you?

Secondly, I don't know what changes you are seeing -- your photos aren't consistent in terms of angle and lighting and that makes a huge difference.

Is this tied into yesterday somehow? I think given that you have shared that you have had issues in the past with dysmorphia, you should perhaps talk with someone who can help you.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Nodding along with Ceit, Lyn. The photos don't say anything informative because the angles, and lighting are different in each. It sounds as if this conversation yesterday stirred up some concerns. I see a lovely looking woman in all the pics and no significant body changes, but if that is not what you see, then maybe it is worth exploring a bit.

rute

Veteran

I'll be brutal!
Our body changes, but those changes you name are so subtle (if there arem because I don't see any) that those changes are irrelevant.
Ok.. I have more lines around the eyes than before, so what?? That doesn't change any thing!
Stop worrying! I know, we women like to do that, we are very picky sometimes!

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

The only difference I can see is that there appears to be more muscle definition in the calves in pic 4. Perhaps the rounds and up and down stairs at the hospital have built up a bit more muscle and it is apparent in that one pic.

Irene

Veteran

I don't really see much of a difference, and agree with the others that lighting and angles vary in each photo. Collarbones are much more noticeable in #5 probably because the photo is sharper, better quality and lighting. There might have been some lights playing shadows and volumes on your body. That's harder to achieve with a frontal light.

Of course your body will have changed in six months, and in six years. That's completely normal. No body stays the same forever, and anything you do to it (and even if you do nothing) will affect your body and shape no matter what.

It doesn't worry me that you notice minor changes. Some of us do. I pay close attention to this sort of details, especially on my own body. It does worry me that you might be bothered by this though, especially taking into account your past issues.

Joy

Veteran

What Rute said. Bodies change constantly and much is beyond our control short of hiring a personal trainer to target certain areas. You look great in all these pictures.
My body changed most dramatically from college to work (teaching) when I was near your age...even more than having babies. It must have been going from sitting more to being on my feet all day. It was unexpected.

Peri

Veteran

I don't see anything. And believe me, when your body really does change, you will know it.

lyn67

Veteran

Don't see anything from the picties, are you bored, Lyn:-)) BTW love your dresses:-)
YLF no matter what about calves...or else..:-))
(What was that "someone" saying about, in fact???)

Kristin L

Veteran

the only thing I can see (and it's because i'm looking hard) is it looks like your calves are smaller, like dianthus said.

What would you say to a friend expressing your thoughts? In my (limited) experience, doctors and nurses can be the worse at taking care of themselves because they put everyone else before them. Try talking to someone. You look great and you should feel as great about how you look.

Anonymous

I think you look terrific, and I really can't tell a difference in your older vs. newer pictures, other than lighting/angles. I get where you're coming from, though. I think I'm around your age and *I* notice subtle changes in my body and I don't always like them! However, I really don't think the rest of the world notices. We're always our harshest critics, you know?

jurocha

(website)

Veteran

The only differences I see are lighting, angle and picture quality. But if you're still worried about it, I would suggest trying to "copy/repeat" the whole outfits and the angles you got on the source pics (1 and 2). I would suggest you to do these updated pics over the course of 2-weeks (1-2 pics on different days per week) and only then compare the collection of updated pics with your source pics.

I started eating healthy three months ago; by the same time I started running and joined Mrs. Sporty (a fitness center that has a circular training program designed specifically to women). I've seen changes in my body in this period, but I can tell you that not all of them were what I aimed for and that these changes varied significantly depending on: time of the day I was measuring myself (morning/evening), if I was near my period or had forgotten to take the pill, if I ate whole wheat alone or mixed it with regular products on the day prior to the measuring.

For example and to be more specific, I've lost 2 cm on my waist in these 3 months and I managed to fit into a dress I wanted. However, on the week of my period last month, I tried the dress again... and it was too tight. On the 3rd day of my period... voilá... the dress fitted perfect once again. I'm sharing that because if I learned something in this short period of time I've been obsessing about my own shape is that this one-one comparison is always misleading and disappointing.

Thistle

Veteran

You have a lot of terrific advice above.

My advice is this: Treat your body the same way you would treat a best a friend.

Would you criticize or dislike a friend for changing a little bit? No way. Would you nitpick them over some small "imperfection"? Nope. Probably wouldn't even notice it, and definately wouldn't call it an imperfection.

Care for your body as you would a best friend and treat it like a best friend. This was the best advice I was ever given.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I honestly think you're looking too hard for something insignificant. You are young, healthy, and slim. Enjoy it and don't fret.

Sona

Veteran

Lyn: you are in the field to understand this clearly. the photos are from very different angles: comparing apples ot oranges. yes this is body dysmorphism. Don't go down that path.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I'm staring hard, I have a good eye, and I'm pretty sure it's just lighting differences. If you're exercising more it's possible your calves have become slightly more muscular, but honestly it's impossible to tell from the pics. Same with the collarbones. You are lit from above in the one picture, which will of course show collarbones in relief, but lit with flat light from the front in the other, which obliterates detail.

But the real question is, why are you going down this road again? You know it's bad for you. You are an intelligent woman. You are training to be a doctor, which shows you have perseverance. Those two things combined will help you overcome your body dysmorphia/eating disorder, but you have to make a concerted effort not to permit yourself to ask questions like this -- not even to yourself. If you're asking the forum, it means you are worrying about it a lot in private, and that leads to a world of unhappiness.

Honestly? When I see pictures of you, I see a very cute, very slender young woman. But even if you were not, it matters a lot less than you think. What a person looks like (especially in a still picture!) is only a small fraction of their appeal. The prettiest girl in town has no SA if she's lacking confidence and self-respect.

Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk. I might be able to help. I've fallen prey to body dysmorphia too, but I'm a lot older than you and I've learned how to silence those little mental insecurities that won't shut up.

RedM

I've also found that different skirt lengths will make my calves look differently. Picture 1 is above the knee and picture 2 is at the knee, which may be what the difference you are seeing is.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

What Sona said.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Thanks ladies, one of my patient made some type of comment about my legs and if I felt good enough about them to wear a skirt ... I think I do? I'm pretty sure I do. She's a lot skinnier than I am, though, so I did feel a bit hurt by it. She's not a psychiatric patient, so it kind of hurt a bit more that way.

I have another appointment with the shrink this afternoon, so maybe I'll bring it up - he doesn't seem to think it's too concerning.

@ Molly - Well, my mom is coming to visit and she likes to make fun of my collarbones.

@ Ceit - I'm 27.

@ Other Lyn - Maybe family medicine is making me bored O_O uhoh.

@ Stacey - I know; I tell my patients that all the time. Doctor, heal thyself :p

@ Jurocha - What you say is making a lot of sense; I haven't had trouble really fitting into anything - but I am worried that will happen. Hopefully it will be a bloaty period day :p

@ Thistle - My best friend wants a new skirt to wear. Who am I to say no. :p

@ Sona - Thanks I feel silly because of what I do.

@ Elizabeth - I try not to ask myself questions like that, but they do crop up from time to time, you know. I should really just refrain from small talk with patients.

celia

Veteran

Please stop staring at your calves and collarbones.
Yes, our bodies are always changing and you are at an age when you will probably see more changes.
And don't compare photos because angle, lights, camera are all variables that can make you look different.
You look beautiful and slim as ever.

Anonymous

Ok, I noticed in my late 20s my body changed from before (I am almost 36). Not weight wise, but form wise, so you might be experiencing the same. Not all changes were negative, but I certainly felt like I looked more like an adult woman instead of a more girlish form.

I think what that other person said reflected HER insecurities, and you should take it as her talking about herself. Because seriously, if I didn't know we were the same height, I would take you as being much slighter than I am. There is nothing wrong with your legs, or collarbones, or any speck of your lovely self.

And do not compare photos --- only anthropomorphic measurements and skinfold thickness even approach some kind of objectivity.

Kim

Veteran

Your patient probably has issues with her own legs, and projects that onto others who "feel good enough" to bare their legs. Angie has taught us well, pasty white, vericose veins and all, I bare my legs proudly (cause they work hard for me!) at 51....At 26 you shouldn't even be *thinking* about your legs like that young lady (That's my Mom voice there...LOL)

You have a very healthy body that doesn't give you and physical trouble, right? No aches and pains, etc.? That's all you can really hope for it. You are a doc. You know what it is to have bodies that don't work right. Yours is not in that category so it's to be appreciated while it's like that.

I would talk to your shrink about strategies to learn how to let patient comments roll off your back and not affect you. THAT would be a useful exercise and a good skill to have for the rest of your life, so something good can come out of that silly comment your patient made.

I look back at 26 now and see I had nothing to complain about. I hope you'll learn the lesson now and enjoy the body you have!

Keix

Veteran

I don't have much to add that others haven't said better, except that I can empathize with family members casually critiquing one's body (usually in the negative) and I know it's even harder to ignore a comment when your own mother says it. Maybe it's a cultural thing; I always feel terrible about my body when I visit my relatives in China because they will say things that would be terribly rude in the US. Sending good thoughts your way.

T-Rex

Veteran

I think your legs look good. In that third pic, your left leg is turned a bit more, so we see more of the side view of your calf. I think that's why it looks bigger to you in that third pic. In any event, I personally like curvy calves, anyway.

Don't let someone else's insecurities become yours. Do you think your patient was making a comment about your legs, or do you think she was asking about your confidence level regarding your legs? I can't judge for myself what her intention might have been without knowing the whole conversation, but is it possible she was hoping some of your confidence would rub off onto her? If that's the case, it's possible she was paying you a compliment. However, if she was truly trying to poke a hole in your bubble, whether consciously or not, then try to ignore it. Her attempt to sabotage you says more about her than it does about you, your legs, or anything else about you.

rachylou

Veteran

1) The pictures reveal no differences (except some style evolution!)

2) I don't understand this whole comment business - feeling good about your legs and showing them off in a skirt? Out of all the things to think about in the world, why did this girl bother to think about that? Why associate the two actions? You know, she could have been thinking about what to watch on Roku. That makes more sense to me and I don't have Roku.

3) At 27, as Ceit says, I also left behind my little girl shape. There should be differences. Yuck to being human larvae forever.

Anonymous

I am super confused as what I'm supposed to be looking for so I have no advice there. As far as the dysmorphia issue, dunno, have you suffered from this in the past? I know my evils tend to surface from time to time. Don't fret, enjoy the fact that you are alive and in good health. The rest is just gravy!

Adelfa

Veteran

Lyn, a dear friend who is a doctor (FP) gained weight due to a med change. Several of her patients made remarks along the lines of "Wow, you've really gotten fat!" Of course it hurt. She was able to see, though, that these remarks came only from members of one ethnic group, among whom remarks like that are common and don't carry as much shame as they do here. That helped to depersonalize the remarks a bit.

So I'm just saying what several other fabbers have already said--the remark was about the patient, not you. However I give you tons of credit that, once the remark kicked off these thoughts for you, you put them out here for us. You knew for sure what we would say. You knew we would say you are lovely! So you put yourself in help's way and I applaud you for that!

shedev

Veteran

You completely rock skirts. Your legs look slightly more toned in photo 2 and I think that is a good thing. I think the difference in the collarbones is due more to the way you are standing more than actual differences in your body. A relaxed stance tends to soften the collarbones while having a little forward roll at the shoulder joint tends to make the collar bone look a little more prominant.

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