You've received lots of feedback on the photos, but I will offer one piece of advice around the comment from the patient. As my Dad always says, "Consider the source." In this case, the patient is someone you don't really know intimately and goodness knows what she was getting at (Rachy puts this into perspective really well - lol!). She's not your best friend, I'm assuming you don't spend hours and hours together, so it's not worth your time. Don't give your power away to someone who has probably moved on to something entirely different and hasn't given their comment a second thought. I know it's easier said than done, but this might not be the only time in your career that a patient makes a flippant remark about your appearance. I would be using this situation as an opportunity for the future - establish a plan and response for when it might happen again. If your patients are anything like my students, you'll have another opportunity before you know it!

Downward arrow?
"If my legs are ___________ and my collarbone is ________ then what is the worst that could happen? [or What would it say about me as a person?]

"If [answer to line 1] then what is the worst that could happen? etc

I think you look beautiful and extremely stylish - I just love your style! Always look forward to seeing your posts.

Don't worry too much about feeling funny about perceived changes. Having said that, I don't see any difference at all, and agree with others that it's most likely a case of lighting etc.

At the same time though, I don't want you to get a complex if you notice something slightly different - this doesn't mean there is anything wrong for noticing changes, and it doesn't always mean 'disordered' thinking, imo.

Just the other day I noticed something that looked like a pimple on my chin. I haven't had one of those in years and years - the fact that I noticed doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. It's no big deal...just that maybe I want to use some cream or toner or something to clear it up.

It's not what the changes are (if any), but rather - what we make it mean. My favourite response when I get weirded out by things like this?

"Yes...and?"

The fact that I might have a pimple on my chin doesn't mean anything other than maybe I want to use some special cream or toner. It does not mean there is something awful about me. Same is true if I gain five pounds (or even more). It just is. It's just information, nothing more.

While I can't see any difference in your collarbones or calves (other than different lighting, poses etc.), even if there WAS a difference, what would it mean? You're still beautiful, smart and super-stylish.

I didn't even open the thumbnails, to be honest. I know you look wonderful. And I know our bodies are not static things like statues.
I was a bit heavier in my late 20's, but friends I've known for these last 2 decades honestly thought I looked the same as always. Funny how that is.
I will add that on my most recent double shift Monday, I awoke the next day to higher water retention due to swelling from standing for over 12 hours. Tell me that doesn't do a number on one's legs/feet!! (I also realized I'm not 29 anymore LOL) Again, the body is not a static thing - repeat after me

I'm not clear what it is that I'm supposed to be looking for in the pictures? I don't have time to read everyone's responses right now - but, just a based on your statement about your calves and your collarbones, I'm kind of stumped! I can't see any differences in the photos - and even if I did, what does it matter? Our bodies are changing all of the time - and that's a good thing!

Lyn, I am so sorry you had to receive all of this girl's insecurities below the belt like this (literally!). It is hurting you. Your reaction is normal, it would hurt me too. I hope you did bring it up in therapy and BTW I command you for therapy, as it is a great tool and help, especially for you who is helping others. You have to know the pitfalls as you go along, this is one.

So, of course, when I look at your pics all I see is a beautiful lady who looks stunning in skirts and dresses, and who has a fierce sense of style. I see gorgeous legs, and perfect collarbone.

This said, it is true that the body changes, and it changes a lot with hormones throughout the month. I had always *known* this, but I remember I was around 26 when I started to really see it on my body. One day it looked rounder, the other it looked almost too thin. One day my legs looked freakishly small, the other they were proportioned.

Yes, the body changes shape, but with all my 45 yrs of experience I can tell you that doesn't happen in your 20's, only from mid 30's on, and it's not bad at all, it's actually fun. For being a "gamine" type like you, I can tell you that what happened in my case is that I started looking more "womanly".

Hugs to you!

Another thought. Yes, our bodies do change, but sometimes I think we have odd perceptions of them. I know I am not the only one here who has one day thought I look pretty darn good, and the next I feel pudgy and not so fab. And I bet if I owned a scale, I would not see some huge shift in what I weigh from one day to another. No, sometimes our minds play tricks on us, even though we look just the same as always to onlookers. I think it's good to keep this in mind so we don't take those off-days so seriously.

That said, I really want to recommend that any younger ladies who get freaked out about body changes to work on dealing with this while you are young. This stuff can do a number on you as you get older and reach childbearing years, or perimenopause. I watched my mother struggle with body image as she aged, and I am trying to be more accepting, although it can be hard. I think focusing on being healthy and active, rather than appearance, helps a lot!

Oh yes, having babies! LOL I changed from an athletic boyish shape (rectangle?) to an hourglass overnight! I suddenly had bigger hips once I had kids even though I weighed exactly the same. My hips grew by 4 inches and it's not fat, the darn hip bones moved.

I always said it was to give those babies a hip to sit on while I carried them around for the first year!

I actually like being a hourglass better (after 25 years with it) but it took some getting used to. So yes, be prepared for changes, they happen to all of us. One of the best life skills we can learn is how to embrace change, cause nothing ever stays the same for long!

Thanks ladies for your very thoughtful replies - I am starting up with a second and a third therapist on my team shortly, so that will be an interesting dynamic, I am sure! I have heard good things about them, and they seem pretty willing to work with me - I'm not really their typical patient, but we'll see how that goes!

With the scale thing; I am getting a lot better - I used to weigh myself about 14 times a day - and now it's once in the morning and lately, none at all, because I have a mess over my scale corner (I've been sewing) :p

My mom always says that having kids ruined her body, and I guess that kinda stuck with me for a long time. I suppose she doesn't have the strongest self-image, and my dad probably doesn't help either - he doesn't really understand that people can change and wonders why women get hot flashes (he didn't really understand that women had periods, which was weird, so it was hard explaining menopause to him) - and I think he's getting better at it.

I am sort of worried when my mom comes to visit she will say I am fat.

Lyn, I understand. Many people, especially relatives, don't realize how deeply their words can cut. I remember one of the first times I went to visit my mom with the man who would later become my husband, she remarked that I looked like I'd put on a little weight. Right in front of him! I was pretty angry and snapped some lame retort at her, but later on we talked and worked through that kind of thing. My mom was a very sensitive person herself, so she never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. But she was quite judgmental when it came to weight. So I get it. When my weight goes up, I struggle with feelings that I am less worthy than when I am smaller, but I know it is all superficial BS.

I'm so glad you're talking with the therapist about this! We have to replace the not-so-great messages we get in our heads from our parents with more positive ones. It sounds like you know what's going on and just need to stay vigilant with your messages to yourself. Keep the scale buried!

Lyn, you are stunningly beautiful. How rude and, frankly, odd of someone to say something negative about your beautiful body!