So sorry to read this Una..:(
I can tell that you're a very good friend, and I think this will count for a whole lot. I remember when my uncle was diagnosed with stage IV esophageal cancer - and we tried to keep hope for awhile, but in the end, we knew. My uncle was diagnosed in March and was gone by October.
Meanwhile, my uncle's brother-in-law took it upon himself to drop in on my uncle almost every single day - took him out for a car ride, took him to the beach, to the forest or a coffee shop, even though my uncle was in his pj's.
You know what? Those daily visits and outings (as best as they could be arranged) made such a huge difference. There wasn't going to be any fixing things, but even in the midst of this awful situation - here was a family member, taking off early from work, dropping in on my uncle who was stuck at home battling severe illness and managing to get him out of the house anyway.
I'd be over at my uncle's house, helping to look after him, and then my other uncle (brother-in-law) would show up in the afternoon, and I'd help my uncle out to his car. They'd just go driving around, looking at beautiful surroundings - my uncle *loved* these outings. They'd crank up the music and just drive around, chatting and talking about something other than being sick.
Not sure if this is something you or others could do for your friend, but I wanted to say it makes a really big difference when someone's terminally ill to just be able to get out and do something other than lie in bed feeling awful. My uncle was so sick that he couldn't really get out of the car, or go anywhere on his own, but being driven around, listening to great music helped him so much.
Nobody knew he was in his bathrobe in that passenger seat. Sometimes they'd go through a drive-through and get unhealthy donuts from Tim Hortons (before my uncle needed a feed tube) - then park in front of the beach and just chat. They might go looking at houses for sale (the drive-by), or park somewhere where they could watch a soccer game. Fancy dessert-like coffee drinks in the parking lot of the local trendy coffee shop, watching people and gossiping a wee bit.
Not sure if this is something you or other friends/family members could arrange, but I wanted to say that a drive - a way to get out of the house/hospital bed in one's room, even if wearing just pajamas, bathrobe and slippers - goes a long way toward feeling just a tiny bit happier even in the midst of a dire situation. Highly recommend a drive around town, no matter what's going on. I think those drives kept my uncle going longer ...he looked forward to it so much.
Hang in there, and best wishes for some beautiful bright spots for your friend, even in the midst of a terrible situation.
