This thread is a perfect example of what's special about YLF - thanks TG for starting it, and everyone for providing such honest, transparent comments.

I took a big step back from focusing on work this year. As mainelady said, I don't need to play all the instruments and lead the band. It's led to some challenging conversations, and also a style transition (if I'm only in the office 2-3 days a week, why do I have 17 blazers?), but both my physical and mental health are improved.

For this year, I want to give up worrying about this work change. It's one thing to start it, it's another to live with it. And I haven't changed jobs since I lost my Dad, who was a major influence on me - so there's a lot of emotional work to do.

On the a lighter note, there are a couple style/appearance things I want to let go:
- Criticizing myself in pictures. I've long hated having my picture taken. But a collage I did for our anniversary reminded me how important those mementos are. They're real, and they matter, even if in the moment all I can see is the double chin or the thicker midline.
- Boredom shopping. I need to stop with aimless online point and click. I've gotten much better at being selective when things make it to the house, but in many cases, they shouldn't have been ordered at all.
- Business formal. As part of this style transition, my truly formal clothes are feeling too much like a costume. It's time to lighten up, and find other ways to be situation-appropriate without defaulting to a suit.

This kind of list is so hard for me, because it requires finding the line between conventions I truly don’t care and what I do want to devote my energy too. Well done on getting that sorted for yourself!

Gretchen, I still remember the day I packed all my business suits into a bag and donated them. It was the sartorial equivalent of ripping off a bandaid - ultimately necessary but not without pain. Lots of love to you as you work through your loss of your dad. Xx

FI, I think that's an ongoing process ... Not caring might have been too flippant a choice of words - I still coat on the mascara and do crunches after all - not bossing me around is probably closer to the mark.

You don't have to worry about anything you don't want to.

I no longer care about one friend that makes zero effort to stay in touch. My husband and I helped her financially and in many other ways. I have struggled with this mightily for a long time, she is a lot of fun but I've come to the realization that why would I want to spend time and share my life when its clearly not important to her.
I no longer care about having a job to "keep busy" as everyone told me I needed to once my children grew up. I left my job in August and while I do miss certain aspects of it I'm free to spend more time with my husband who works from home and each day I choose how I would like to spend it.
The next one I'm working on : trying to not care what others are wearing and feeling that I should be wearing that too, that somehow this was the "right" outfit for the occasion. this is a really big one for me. I want to wear more color and where I live it seems like it's just not common. My recent purchase of the bright green JCrew coat is my first bold step.

Basically, we are the same person. I love you for this!

So I keep meaning to come up with a great response but haven’t had the time... but I have to say that this is my favorite post ever