Too Busty for fashion - YouLookFab Forum

Claudia

Veteran

I am a 36G, too. Yes, it's a big burden, LOL, physically and emotionally. I have felt exactly like you are feeling.

How tall are you and what is your general body type?

12 years ago

Claudia

Veteran

One great tip. After a professional bra fitting I recently found my holy grail of bras that are amazingly comfortable, and make the girls look really nice and less pronounced: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/wa.....veforlater

When you aren't in the nursing bra, maybe this will be good for you, too.

Getting a professional bra fitting is the first step, especially after being pregnant and nursing. The right bra is the foundation of making clothes look good.

12 years ago

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I have no advice to offer you on dressing because I have the opposite problems (short, no boobs and no waist). . But I can offer support and understanding. We all have our fit challenges and know how hard it can be to find styles that fit and flatter. You are not alone out there.

12 years ago

ManidipaM

Veteran

I have been a 36G, though no longer one, so yes, I feel your frustration. And I'm 4'10" and Team Flats!

But take heart --- it IS possible to look fabulous with a bust. For one thing, no one can fill out a wrap dress or cardigan like you can, I think. Also, while accentuating your waist, consider different ways of doing it. If you wore a blouson top or button-down and tucked in or belted up, yes, you would emphasize your bust. But if you simply wore a sweater or knit top which skims your curves and has diagonal or vertical detailing over the bust, it would minimize your bust a little as well as drawing attention to the smallness of your waist. Also consider garments that have a looser flat panel in front, with ruching, elastic or tabs at the sides and back of the waist --- shows off your shape, does not make a shelf out of your bust!

I don't know what your weather is like, but until you can get that professionally fitted bra, you might want to look at nursing tees and tanks with a wrap cardi over it, for ease of access as well as bust flattering lines. And if you have the energy or time to spare, there *are* wrap-style or mock-wrap tops and dresses designed for nursing too.

12 years ago

missvee

Veteran

I'm also fairly well-endowed, and I agree that wrap-style dresses and tops are definite winners. I also like shirts, but if they are big enough for my bust, they often have to be taken in at the shoulders. So I just have to factor in the cost of alterations before I decide whether to go ahead or not.

12 years ago

Laurinda

Veteran

38H here, and a believer in "If you've got it, flaunt it" As mentioned, a supportive bra is paramount. I have abandoned woven blouses for knits (and v-necks).

There is a lot of helpful information at this site: http://hourglassy.com/

12 years ago

Aziraphale

Veteran

Uh, get a reduction?

No, I'm kidding -- unless you really want a reduction, in which case there is no shame in getting one. A good friend of mine had one ten years ago. She is not vain, but her big mamma jammas were causing her back pain and made sports awkward (she's athletic, so this was a big deal), and she said the breast reduction was the best decision she's ever made. But on the other hand, if you don't want surgery, there is also no shame in having breasts of a bountiful size. You can't hide 'em, so let 'em show. I appreciate that large breasts can cause fit challenges (buttons gaping, stretchy fabric being pulled tight across the chest, risk of too much cleavage) but there are shops which make clothes that take this into account. I wish I could give you a link, but I don't know the names -- I just know I've seen ads for such shops on the web. And the cleavage issue can often be solved with a pretty camisole. Also, there's always the option of buying a bigger size and having the waist taken in. And I've heard that a chunky statement necklace is just the thing to distract from an ample bust.

12 years ago

christieanne

Veteran

You are not alone at all I have had this same issue for years (well, not the nursing part, but the big bust).

Claudia recommended my absolute favorite bra - it is well worth the price (and Nordstrom occasionally puts this style on sale during Anniversary Sale, etc). Although I have not used a nursing bra and realize that may complications to your situation. Have you looked online for a more supportive nursing bra? Medela may make one in your size - http://www.medela.com or Motherhod maternity.

It's rare that I can find button down shirts that fit - if they button properly, the arms or body or so huge that it is ridiculous. Knits are immensely easier. I like the suggestion of a wrap top to accent waist but that is awkward in our bust size as well (personally, I always feel more self conscious in that style top - like I will pop out at any moment. Not good).

How about belting a cardigan/second layer over a knit or tank? Or belting the under layer under a top layer (sweater/blazer). Depending on age of your babe, a necklace may be nice to bring attention to your face. Balancing proportions may help - a bootcut pant is one options. Sometimes a skinny pant/legging can make us look and feel more top heavy than we are.

12 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

NO, I just don't believe that anyone is too "anything" for fashion !! I have practically no boobs and a crooked leg and....well, you get the picture. The truth is that nothing off the rack fits someone well. You have to keep searching and tailoring what you can. I feel that many of us are limited in some way, though I realize that it is a big fit problem for you, so I don't want to minimize it.

I am sorry that you are feeling sad about it. Don't give up. Having a baby and being on call to feed is a very tough place and almost impossible to feel good or pretty or sexy. Concentrate on getting through this phase....and then when you don't have to worry about clothes that are functional for lactating and breastfeeding, consider it again.

It is not your body..

12 years ago

Sharon

Veteran

I feel your pain! I am 34F and have spent a lot of my life fighting with my bust. It took me a long time to reconcile myself to the fact that the styles I loved on rectangular shaped bodies were never going to look good on me. I often felt that I had a choice between looking tarty or frumpy, neither of which were appealing!
What works for me:
1. I have become MUCH fussier about fit
2. I have started wearing a lot more dresses- this summer I bought 4 dresses. I was fussy about fit. I was fussy about style. They all show my waist, but are not super fitted. None of them show any cleavage. I love how I feel when I wear them- they were worth the hunt!
3.For some reason, cowl necks work well for me. They disguise the volume of my bust and if I choose the right fabric, they also define my waist. I also feel like they read quite classic and elegant, so negate the tarty vibe you can unintentionally project with a large bust/small waist combo.
4.I have found that I CAN wear boxy, loose blouses IF I tuck them into a high-waisted skirt or pants. That way, the volume disguises my bust and I get waist definition.
5.Adding a top layer works miracles. I never wore jackets before I joined YFL, but now I can't wait for winter from a fashion POV because a fitted jacket, even worn open creates instant waist definition and vertical lines that visually reduce my bust size
6. I have decided that I am not a fan of necklaces- I feel like there is too much going on already. My hair is short, so a fashion goal this season is to wear more statement earrings to emphasize my face over my bust.

Gotta go to work, but I will think more about this today.

12 years ago

Mochi

Veteran

Being super-beyond-busty myself, I can truly relate to BlondeAmbition's frustration. And though I know we all have different fitting issues, I can (very subjectively) proclaim that in my opinion, the bust is in a different category...it's not only a fitting issue, and a comfort issue, but it's so in-your-face loaded with (usually unwanted) sexual connotation, in a way that other fit issues simply are not.

Even if you wanted a breast reduction (and I'm going to assume here that you don't), it's not always a great solution. I had one in high school--they got smaller but were still too big for my frame--and gained some weight, but a disproportionate amount was gained back in my breasts. I look like I never had the surgery (and suspect that losing weight would not bring them down that much). I'm always amazed when I read how many women think it was the best decision they ever made. Oh well, trying to be happy as I am.....

And someone earlier asked about your height. If you are taller than 5'3", be extremely grateful. I feel like half of my body is made up of chest sometimes.

ETA: If I were a combo of busty AND lucky enough to have a lovely waist, I would be high-tailing it over to a bespoke company (you can find them on the internet) that makes beautiful corsets and bustiers.

12 years ago

DonnaF

Veteran

Word of warning: Wait quite awhile after you stop nursing to invest in $uper $pendy bras -- if that is possible in your size. After three months, I was positive that I had morphed into a new size and was sick of wearing bras that didn't really fit. Murphy's law: As soon as I purchased my new size, they stopped fitting, probably within the first few wears. Luckily, I had only purchased a few and they were in a widely available size, unlike my *real* size.

Congrats on giving your child the best! It will get easier once you stop nursing.

12 years ago

Aziraphale

Veteran

One more comment regarding large breasts and nursing: a number of my friends who breastfed their babies went down a cup size (compared to their pre-baby size) once their babies were weaned. This doesn't always happen, but it happens often enough that I thought it was worth mentioning. You will still have the same amount of breast (glandular) tissue, but some of the fat tissue could disappear, effectively giving you smaller breasts.

Something to look forward to!

12 years ago

BlondeAmbition

Active Member

Wow, thank you so much for the kind words and support! These days I feel like I have been one giant boob, nursing my son for the past 8 months. I plan to continue nursing for several months to come but I am finally at a stage where I want to start looking and feeling like my old self again and coming back to the youlookfab community is progress.

Claudia - I am terribly average at 5'4" and YES I used to live in Wacoal minimizer bras before I was nursing!

Manidipa - I might not be finding the right wrap-styles, I have a few but they need to be a very particular fit to look right on me. If they have a gaping front it looks unflattering on me. They're hard to find

Laurinda - thanks for the website, I will be spending time there!

elisabeth & Mochi - a reduction (and a lift) is a dream of mine, wouldn't it be nice to come out of the hospital looking perky and cute? But I'd have to overcome my fears of surgery, Mochi it must have been terrible to go through that.

christianne - nursing bras are barely supportive at all. I mostly miss my underwire bras because those are not a good idea for breastfeeding women, they often lead to blocked ducts. On certain occasions I dip into my wacoal underwires when I have to be away from the baby but not for prolonged periods of time. It is what it is for now

Isabel - I have learned that tailoring is imperative at this point. One of the most common issues with hourglass figures is small waist and narrow shoulders. In order for off the rack clothes to fit my bust they gape wildly at the shoulders and under arms.

DonnaF - who knows what's going to happen after I stop nursing, hopefully they will become smaller As it stands right now my ribcage seems to have expanded after my pregnancy and my breasts are even larger than they were before. I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen when this is over.

Thanks again for your encouragement!

12 years ago

Claudia

Veteran

BA, I have a feeling that as soon as you can get back into a supportive, well fitting bra that you will feel like a new woman and be much happier in your clothes and body.
I breast fed my babies and know what you are going through. The real physical discomfort I felt was huge and even sleeping at night was effected by the sheer weight and volume of my bust during this time. I could not get comfortable in my own skin. Then there was the resulting mental image I had of myself, too...

I am an hourglass, but with IT (inverted triangle) as a secondary body type, so I have a strong shoulder line and am on the tall side at about 5'9", so the dressing tips I've found for me may not work as well for you, but I like balancing my top half with bootcut jeans and straight legs instead of skinnys (but still wear jeggings and leggings tucked into tall boots), buying woven tops to fit the bust and tailoring in along the sides (this works well on me due to the decent fit of the bigger tops on my broader shoulder line).

I also love wearing knit layering tops in soft modal/spandex fabric and adding the structure of a jacket or blazer with a lower button stance. The new ponte knit and knit type jackets recently available in cool styles have been great for adding this structure and polish while being very comfortable, lightweight and often machine washable.

I found looking at curvier fashion bloggers was helpful in realizing that you can look amazing in accepting your ample curves and not always trying to hide them. So I say when you are done with nursing and back in a good bra, show off that small waist and accept your bigger bust as womanly and beautiful. In doing so, I am much more at ease in my body. Life is too short otherwise. I also try to concentrate on all the great things my body can do, instead of how I wish it looked.

12 years ago

Claudia

Veteran

This blogger is very curvy in general -- but also has the challenge of a much larger bottom half, the opposite of our body type issue, but kind of the flip side of the very same coin. It helps that she is extremely beautiful (her face, hair, skin are just exquisite in my opinion, sigh), but in looking at how she dressed and embraced her ample, womanly curvaceousness instead of trying to hide and downplay it (which was what I wanted to do) was helpful to me: http://girlwithcurves.tumblr.com/

Maybe others who haven't seen her blog might find some inspiration too.

12 years ago

ManidipaM

Veteran

Claudia, that looks like a fabulous blog by a fabulous lady. Thanks for the link!

12 years ago

HeleenH

Veteran

Hi, I was a long term nurser with at one time size 70-I, which is 32-I. Normal nursing bra's were terrible. So I just went to a proper bra shop and got proper fitted underwire bra. As long as they fit you perfectly, unerwires are just fine when you are nursing. Only in the first weeks you want a bra without underwire because of the changes in your breasts, but after 8 months it is pretty safe to invest in prober bra's. I made a tutorial in which you can read how to choose your bra (some bra's don't convert) and how to convert. Some shops have a seamstress service that will do it for you. You can recycle the clips of your floppy nursing bra's
http://hhayes.home.xs4all.nl/N.....ngbra.html

I have stopped nursing 2 years ago and am now down 70E, some brands 70D. I don't really remember my size before pregnancy, I think it was a 70C or 70D. It may happen to you too, it is a matter of YMMV.

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12 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Just chiming in to say I totally sympathize. I did have a reduction 5 years ago, which my insurance paid for, because after pregnancy, I grew from an already large 32DD to something like a 32F. I couldn't run and had deep painful marks in my shoulders from bras, even after a fitting at Nordstrom.

I do not regret it and actually regret not going smaller, but at the time there was a possibility we'd have a second child and I wanted to be intact enough to nurse. (TMI?) I'm one of those women who feels it was absolutely the best thing I could have done comfort-wise. The type of surgery I had fortunately left me with a natural shape, though one side is (and always was) slightly bigger.

Even now I feel too big for many styles - spaghetti straps, anything too low-cut, buttondowns, fitted t-shirts... all things I would love to wear.

Mochi, I'm sorry you had a negative experience. I've heard that from women who get reductions as teens or young women.

12 years ago

MsLuna

Veteran

Fellow busty sister here (34E)!!! The styles I tend to like veer towards the "edgy/casual" zone, which basically doesn't look as great when you're really busty. I also like a bit of the mod look, and mod isn't exactly very appropriate for larger busted women either. So yeah... my only choice is to dress more "feminine" but I feel like I'm a drag queen in an hourglassy dress and I don't feel like myself either.

One technique I actually use that works for me is wearing a tailored jacket or blazer on top of the dress. Tailoring usually follows the contours of your body (even semi-fitted ones) and makes you look a bit more balanced.

12 years ago

jenanded

Veteran

I'm your size too, but I am taller so maybe that helps. I suspect the nursing bit is frustrating at the moment as wonderful as it is! I have 3 kids including twins - think they just called me Daisy for a while there. Anyhow my tips are THE bra, and I found Freya from the UK do loads of super cute styles that really keep everything in place and that is a REAL bonus but more importantly they make YOU feel better... I can give you the names of the online stores where even having a look gives you inspiration! As for dressing, smooth scoop neck tops, flat necklaces, open neck jacket styles are pretty much only way to go. I too can never get button shirts (you are trying to sway me Angie) but they are plain uncomfortable and I spend all day at work showing boys my fab bras - not good! I found minimiser bras just make me look fat and squashy. And lots of the ranges that go to the size leave you down near your elbows somewhere which is also horrid... Hang in there - when you are out of those nursing bras you will probably feel better

12 years ago

jenanded

Veteran

PS, I meant to say that Nigella Lawson says she only wears these Freya bras too I read on a site recently so.... I get mine from figleaves which I believe there is a US site for...

12 years ago

BlondeAmbition

Active Member

Girlwithcurves looks like a great blog, she has my body type which is hourglass with a pear secondary shape. Thanks!

Heleen I never realized that any bra can be converted to a nursing bra. The tutorial looks basic enough but I don't even know how to sew a button. I'll show it to my mother who may be able to help me out in that department.

MsKatiekat, how on earth do you pull off blazers? I can't. tiny narrow shoulders + big bust + big hips = disaster! I would love to wear a blazer but every time my fashionista friends take me out shopping with the goal of buying a blazer I end up in tears. Seriously, I end up crying everytime I put a blazer on and for some odd reason seeing myself in a blazer makes me feel like a lesbian, it's sooo bizarre lol.

Jenanded, I'm with you girl, love those big gapes with button downs eh?

12 years ago

HeleenH

Veteran

Be carefull when you shop for a bra that you want (your mom or the seamstress) to convert, you can't alter just any bra. (I once got a quotation of 7 euro, which is just over 9 dollar to have it done.)
Be carefull to have a perfect fit and pay attention to the following items:
Where do you adjust the shoulder bands? The bra usually won't do if this is on the front end of the bands, it must be on the back.
Where are the shoulder bands attached to the cup? It must be right above the cup and not somewhere higher up near your shoulder like on some bra's that are embelished.
Try the bra on and let the shoulder strap slide of your shoulder. Can you open the cups easily and do you get good access to your breast? Or is this bra cut in such a way that it doesn't open far enough? A bra with underwires that are too high (like all full coverage bras) won't do.

12 years ago

Joan Joplin

Active Member

Well, I'm a 28J, and I wear bright colors and non-v-necks. I do dress around my bust, in the sense of paying extra attention to what flatter up top, but I never try to minimize anything. There are a few fabulous blogs by busty women. Hourglassy and CurvyWordy come to mind. Darlene, from Hourglassy, is a 36G or 36GG, I can't remember which, and she does sometimes work to minimize her bust. Even if her style is different than yours (and there are a few other contributor to Hourglassy as well) she does have a good sense of proportion, and what proportions flatter her best. One of the best things I ever did for myself in terms of body image was to pay attention to celebrities with similar body types, because noticing how stunning they were made me realize that I might not look that bad myself. It's also important to remember that other people often don't care nearly as much about one aspect of your appearance as you do, whether it be bust size, tummy, legs, or anything else. For instance, I've often been told by my friends that I can "pull off anything," which startled me a first, because I have such a hard time finding clothes that fit, and I work to stay away from unflattering silhouettes, which often means passing on trendy tops. But what they noticed was my love of bright colors, jewelry,accessories, etc. It didn't even occur to them that my bust size made clothes harder to fit or wear.

11 years ago

elpgal

Veteran

I think intimacy can convert any bra to a nursing bra for a small fee. I have seem these services offered at some of the specialized lingerie stores. I haven't tried it so I can't tell you how it works out. Anita makes fabulous nursing bras with underwire.

Agree with Mochi regarding busts being a special fit challenge especially if you don't like to highlight them.

11 years ago

rae

(website)

Veteran

I think the ladies before me have said almost everything there is to say, advice-wise. I just thought I'd share that DH just commented the other night that we seem to have come to a point in history where actresses and models are "amazingly boobless." Pardon the man-quote, and this is NOT to make anyone feel bad for having a smaller chest, either! DH works in entertainment and noticed a pattern in what type gets hired right now, and it's such an extreme that well-endowed gals end up feeling even larger than they are, I think. I know I sometimes wear a sports bra to look a little smaller, and I'm pretty averaged sized.

Anyway, the point is that, although fashion does favor a smaller chest right now, fashions are always changing. Supermodels used to be quite busty. Maybe with all the superhero movies coming out, bosoms will be in again sooner rather than later...o_0

11 years ago

Jeanie

Veteran

In the same boat here 5'4" and 36F. Would love to look gamine & not all boobs when I wear a T-shirt... oh well. Minimizer bras are great and tunic shirts seem to tone down the Va-voom factor. I also like Calvin Klein because somehow his designs with straighter lines seems to tone things down. I'm always on the hunt for that perfect wrap dress. Thinking of trying Boden because I think the casual look may tone it down. Hang in there!

11 years ago

Hil

(website)

Veteran

I hear you but... as a really busty girl who had a breast reduction (that was paid for by medical insurance), I have come to wonder whether perhaps I made too big a deal of being busty back then. I don't really regret the op, although I wish I had been a little older and wiser when I took the decision. My biggest misgiving about my decision was that it did hamper my ability to breast feed exclusively.

As a doula, I have been privileged to see many women in their most natural and primal states and have come to realise that there is exquisite beauty in each woman, no matter her shape or breast size. And as a woman who has struggled to come to terms with my weight, breast size and body shape for my whole adult life, I think life's too short to be too anything for fashion.

Hang in there - this breastfeeding stage will pass (all too quickly really)!

11 years ago

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