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Thoughts on being a bag lady (or not)

Maya

Veteran

This is a weird thing for an opinionated person like me to ponder, but I find it hard to tell what I like when I'm shopping for bags. I just genuinely don't seem to have an opinion, and it makes bag shopping difficult for me.

Much of the selection I find within my set of constraints is made for teens and tweens and people who just don't want to spend money on bags, hence being made out of PU. I find that dedicated vegan brands like Matt and Nat or Big Buddha (or Stella McCartney, not that I can afford it) tend to make nicer bags, because their goal in using faux leather is not just to be cheap or juvenile.

But I still don't know if they're quite my aesthetic. I sometimes find myself wondering if I really like something or if I am just going with it because it happens to meet my already restricted criteria. I saw this bag, for example, and almost bought it--but it turns out it's actually not a crossbody. I have no idea why they have that written 3 times in the description...

Anyway...the point is, looking at it now, I'm not sure I really liked it anyway. I tend not to like a ton of hardware. I also don't like cheesy snakeskin or mock croc textures. Sumptuous leather is not an option. So where does that leave me? What DO I like? I can't say I love any of my bags right now. I almost love my Matt and Nat Japanese paper bag, but it's so huge and the strap never stays on my shoulder, which discourages me from using it as much as I'd like to. I guess I like it because it's not trying to be real leather--it's much cooler than that. But that was a limited collection that is long gone. I can't use that as my bag identity.

I just don't know what else I like, so I keep buying bags that conform to my limitations. I really want a new crossbody...maybe even two! But it's a challenge figuring out what I want. Usually I have too many preferences and opinions--now I have NONE! I thought that would make it easier but it actually makes it harder :\

Shopping

52 replies

Latest reply was from Steph

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Have you looked at Etsy? Or tried their Alchemy where you can put in requests for custom stuff.

Maya

Veteran

I never try Etsy for anything. I find it annoying to use and don't have enough of a folksy/handmade/crafty aesthetic to really appreciate most of what I find there (of course, when I do, it's insanely expensive). I wouldn't know how to ask for something because as I said, I don't know what I want. That's the key problem.

LeahJanes

I am same, I am not a bag person at all. The bag I use every day conforms to a specific set of constraints and is perfectly neutral. It's nice and I love using it but I never think to swap it out for something cooler or more interesting, like I would with shoes or scarves. I'd love a cute, simple schoolboy style satchel in a bright colour but they never seem to pop up anywhere.

When I shop for bags I find myself not being interesting in any of the stuff out there. It's either too mumsy or too covered with hardware and textures like you say. Maybe bag aesthetics will change soon and I'll be able to love some purses again. I might try etsy too, that's always surprising.

Anonymous

I can understand much of your bag dilemma. Pre-YLF I never spent much for bags because I can be hard on them. I'd wear it out, throw it away and buy a new one. Now I'm thinking that I should invest more in bags, but then they need to be something I love. I don't know what I love enough to be worth the money. Then trying to find a size that's big enough but not overwhelming has also been a challenge.
Maybe it just takes lots of looking before the right one makes an appearance.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Me too!
I just recently decided that I need to grow up, buy leather bags and keep them (rather than my previous one cheap bag per season habit). I'm actually learning a lot about my tasted/preferences already. I've hit on my ideal pocket placements- one zip outside pocket, one zip and two open inside pockets, and discovered that a neutral colored bag with an interesting detail (texture, embellishments, etc) does more for me that a bright color. The biggest issues seems to be a strap that will stay comfortably on my shoulder, and a size/weight that is not too heavy but to scale with my frame.
I hope you can figure out what works for you, Maya.

Kate

Veteran

It's really rare for me to get excited about a bag too (!), which is why I have all of 2 (plus one that's about to be donated). I do, however, have a much larger collection of gear bags. I get a lot more giddy about how functional a bag is than how pretty it is. I'm just not that into "bling" or hardware.

I do love the two bags that I have, though neither of them would be your style (one is from etsy and the other was purchased at an arts festival from a woman who sells things on etsy :P). I'm including pictures because I can. Maybe looking at more bags will give you a better idea of what you don't want, and thus help you to figure out what you do want?

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Aida

Veteran

I'm there too. I have several cheap bags that I bought to have variety but rarely use because they don't really fit my style; I end up only using 2 or 3 of my bags. Though for me, I actually love bags but I never know what I should be getting for myself.

Reneeb

Veteran

I have the same problem with handbags not knowing what I really like. I knew I wanted a red bag with several outside pockets for phone & keys, options of shoulder strap or handheld, soft leather and I knew the size. OK sounds good and I ordered the perfect bag, now I am not sure if I love it. It was on sale at Macy's for $110.00 not allot but enough that I was hopping I would like it. Maybe I don't known what I like either.

Sylvie

Veteran

I just spent the last week or two bag hunting and I also dislike hardware/chains/croc texture/bags geared towards teenagers. Are you looking for a vegan bag because you won't wear leather or because you can't find anything leather that fits your constraints?

If leather is ok, I really loved this crossbody from Fossil.

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/.....26spc%3D74

Not too much hardware, stays on your shoulder comfortably, convenient pockets, looks good with jeans. I came so close to buying it but chose a different bag that would work both for day/night. Macy's is doing F&F through Monday and has several other nice Fossil crossbodies.

If you're ok with a completely practical unstylish bag, I highly recommend the Tom Bihn Cafe bags. I own the Medium cafe bag and it's pretty much perfect, other than being completely casual/a "gear" bag.

http://www.tombihn.com/page/001/PROD/TBP/TB0202

catgirl

Veteran

I had a bag made for me on Etsy at at least half the cost of a designer bag. I got to pick the color and style and tweak a lot of little details, and I have a fabulous unique bag that get compliments all the time. Plus it is made from vintage fabric and recycled PURPLE leather.

Let me know if you want the link.

Aida

Veteran

Una, that sounds like a great bag! I'd love to see a link

Louise

Veteran

Bag lady here but I'm not sure how I make a desicion it's usually just visual lust! I know I like a inside zipped pocket for my keys. This season I'm leaning towards crossbody bags because I'm walking to work. I just bought a pleather one that flaps over itself for when it's wet. I get a lot of ebay but it involves a lot of trawling till I find something I like in my price range x

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Oh Maya, I think you have more of an idea than you know.

You have already stated that you are not keen on textured leather(ette) or hardware, you know the size that you require, you know the colours you like and what would work with your outerwear. You are having to choose from a very narrow selection.

I have to admit I do look for leather in my handbags but do have PU patent effect French Connection bags which I love and I'm always impressed by the feel of this brand which my local upmarket boutique stocks.
http://www.nica.co.uk/shop/handbags

The one thought I did have, taking into account your new red coat is if a cross body bag would be the best compliment? You already have the double row of buttons and the belt, do you want an additional strap crossing your chest? Perhaps a comfortable (non slip) shoulder bag would work better.

Marigold

Hehe, upon first reading the post, before coffee, I somehow missed the 'bag' word and thought: What an interesting topic, thoughts on being a lady... just re-read it again and finally it started making sense lol.
I'm sorry I can't really help you, I'm not a bag lady (would pick a pair of shoes over a bag any day!), in fact, I don't even carry a purse most days. Weird habit of mine....

Maya

Veteran

I'm certain I want a crossbody and it can't be leather. Other than that, I don't know anything else. I don't even know what color. Texture is just impossible for me to determine. Faux patent tends to look cheap, snakeskin and mock croc looks cheap AND cheesy. Nice looking faux leather IS possible, just very hard to come by. I think faux leather looks best when it's smooth and simple. Adding texture to it just makes it look cheap.

I guess I'm getting a better idea after thinking about it. I know as far as leather bags go, I seem to like Kate Spade and Marc Jacobs pretty consistently. I also really like the bags at Anthropologie that are full of unexpected details and textures. I like clean lines but interesting patterns and details, and tend to prefer structure over slouch. Not too much frippery. I'm beyond sick of ruffles and rosettes on everything--Angie's bag is the only flowery bag I can get behind. I don't even use mine anymore.

I guess I do know what I like, but will I be able to find it, given my non-use of leather? I don't know. I think lots of brands that use faux leather tend to try and compensate by doing all the things I hate: adding gobs of bling and hardware, using "interesting" textures, tacking on a gigantic rosette or ruffle, etc. Since they are usually budget brands, no one is attempting actual design or interest.

I think even though the Matt and Nat bags I posted bored Angie and others, they come closest to what I like. I don't know if bag ladies can understand my selections. Even I would prefer some interest, but i'd rather have an understated, simple bag than one that us full of details I don't even like.

And since I know someone will mention it: no, I am not willing to buy or use a counterfeit bag. I just find the idea offensive, not to mention illegal and unethical.

Steph

Veteran

Maya, I have this problem too. I think it's that buying vegan bags (and in my case, footwear) really limits your options. With me, I actually do know my style, because I know what I love the minute I see it. However, more often than not, what I love is in leather. I have definitely felt that I have compromised, and that my style has changed in ways, due to my insistence on non-leather purses and shoes.

I own the same Stella bag in two colors. I absolutely love the bag, but when I first bought it, it was more that I liked it enough to buy it. Had I been purchasing leather, I wouldn't have gotten it because it was large in size and not quite as structured as I like. Then it arrived and totally grew on me, and now I would be devastated if I didn't have it. I have similar issues with shoes and sometimes feel like I am buying something because it is available. An example is my Stella flip-toe pumps. When I first saw them, I thought they were too edgy for me. But I really needed pumps, they were available in grey patent and in red, so I ended up purchasing both colors and they are now among my favorite shoes.

I don't buy things that I feel are absolutely horrible, obviously, but I have found myself having to be more open and flexible when it comes to purses and shoes. There are still things that I am looking for and haven't found (I really want a classic burgundy colored, 4+ inch heel pump and have been searching for three years). It really does kind of stink, and being able to afford the higher end brands definitely helps, but compromise is definitely a big part of my life in this regard.

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Laura

(website)

Veteran

Maya, I so empathize. Maybe Angie can do a tutorial on what to look for in a handbag. I never know what's in or out, why people lust after certain bags and not others. Are hobos in, or satchels? Lots of hardware, or none? It's like there's some secret code that everyone else understands but us ...

p.s. I like Marc Jacobs handbags too. Maybe that's a place to start, if anything goes on sale in January?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Unfortunately, vegan choices do limit your options as Steph suggests. But the styles improve each year.

All I can say at this point is that I am enough bag lady for both you and Laura so I'll happily hold your handbag hand any time. About 50% of my clients are in your exact same position though so it's not an uncommon feeling. I simply make their bag choices for them.

cciele

Veteran

Oh boy, I'm definitely a bag lady.

I tend to latch on to certain designers (Hayden Harnett, Treesje, Linea Pelle) -- for their unique designs, choice of bag material, and hardware.

Bag preference is such a personal thing. Some like large bags, some like small. Some like satchels and totes; others like shoulder and messengers. Some like lots of pockets, some like minimalism. Or some like one of each!

No real advice here, Maya, but I do sympathize. Are you ok with canvas or nylon bags? I like those better than "faux" leather (PUC).

ETA: I could see you in a bag like this (you might need to log on to Tobi to see it;they're having an up to 70% off handbag sale right now):
http://www.tobi.com/product/32.....-to-70-off

Maya

Veteran

So my question to you Angie is: You said you were not in love with any of my crossbody choices--do you have to be? Do *I* have to be? I don't want to feel bad every time I wear my "boring" crossbody.

Cathy, I will have to look at your link after work, but I wanted to acknowledge it at least. I'm not opposed to nylon or canvas, but I don't frequently find styles I like.

Julie, Nica makes some cute styles. No US shipping though. I think the UK is more conscious of these things in general, since there is such a large vegetarian population. I noticed most UK-based sites that I have poked around on (like ASOS) offer the ability to filter between leather and nonleather.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Maya, I have had purses (sorry, BAGS) over the years that I've loved and then some that just do the trick. The last 5 years or so I've had bags that are utilitarian and I use everyday, not switching out like an accessory. And I'm okay with that. Right now it's a cream canvas one with outer pockets that make getting to things easy. And since it's canvas, I can wash it when it starts to get dirty. Am I in love with it? No. But I like it okay and because it's neutral it doesn't clash with any outfits and it's one less thing I need to worry about.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I don't think you do have to love your handbag Maya, but it is nice if it adds something to the overall outfit, be it contrast or colour. Sorry about Nica not shipping to the US I should have checked that.

Steph

Veteran

Maya, I guess part of the point of my (very long) post was to say that I think that it is okay if you aren't completely head over heels with the bag you have. If you need it for a function and you like it enough, sometimes that's as good as it gets when you have really restrictive criteria. What I do is buy what I need and like enough and then keep looking for the special pieces and when they come up, I buy them, regardless of need. They are so few and far between, that I get them while I can.

I have a seatbelt bag that serves this purpose. (You actually commented that you liked it when I posted a dress and it was in the background.) Sometimes I want a purse that can go with me to a sporting event without fear of getting dirty, or is smaller than my Stellas, and I grab the seatbelt purse. Do I love it? No. But I like it enough and it's functional. I do wish there were more purse options for us; I find that I have a more difficult time finding vegan purses than shoes!

Lisa

Veteran

My bag collection is certainly not only bags I love. Some of them are purely for function. I think it is ok to have a bag purely for function. My work tote, is not ideal for me, but it serves the purpose. My weekend bags tend to be my fun bags. I have no bag suggestions just letting you know you are not alone.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You at the very least have to like your bag, Maya - or at least I have to love it. I'm cheeky tonight

Maya

Veteran

Angie, if the requirement is that you have to love it, then it's on you to find it :p

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

And you are cheeky tonight too

Maya

Veteran

I like to believe I am always cheeky.

Steph

Veteran

Maya, since you said you liked my seatbelt bag, have you looked at what they have? I know the messenger style is kind of expensive, and I'm not sure how it fits your style, but here are the links:

http://www.seatbeltbags.com/messenger.html
http://www.seatbeltbags.com/mini-messenger.html

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