The value of posting "meh outfits. - YouLookFab Forum

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The value of posting "meh outfits.

Anonymous

I'm sure most of us only post the best of what we wear or at least what we hope is good. We are looking for affirmation that our choices are good, that things are indeed flattering etc, or that new ideas are working well. But sometimes.......

My outfit post from yesterday is a perfect example of where posting a weird outfit ended up being valuable in a very different way. I knew it wasn't great, but secretly hoped maybe I was onto something. Nope, it was a hot mess and junky looking. Irina's gorgeously minimal and luxe looking outfit post was the perfect counterpoint and made me realize how far off track I am getting with how I want to dress.

I'm not sure why this is a recurring thing - but I'm not buying the kinds of clothes I really yearn for. Maybe it's because my all-black and quite minimal work outfits make me want to dress really differently in my off-time? I do know I don't want to wear black when I'm not at work but the slightly over the top kookiness of some of my outfits aren't the solution .

One thing I have been craving of late is a tailored luxe-looking wool coat. I've got casual parka, puffer, teddy and fake fur fatigue, and am craving some structure in outerwear. I saw a woman at the grocery store yesterday (with me in my stupid vest and fleece lined shoes) wearing a gorgeous wool plaid oversize menswear coat, plain black boots, great looking jeans, and her hair in a casual ponytail. She looked like a million bucks.

So - there is value in posting bad outfits - you can see what you DON"T want to repeat going forward and learn from proportion mistakes etc.

Anyone else craving a more tailored , luxe look in outerwear right now? If I see another puffer or parka again I might light fire to of mine .

I have the coat in my find below in olive green, but it got so badly crushed in storage over the summer that it's really creased. I have to aggressively steam it before it will be wearable again.

En Thread Wool-Blend Coat

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35 replies

Latest reply was from Barbara Diane

slim cat

Veteran

I’m in the same boat with black and white workwear but I’m allowed to wear different colors. Currently I’m obsessing about navy/blue/icy blue and white pieces. I do want something special and fun/sleek looking ( and at the same time affordable for me ).
I admire minimal lux outfits but I know it’s not quite my cap of tea - so looking for something with an edge but not too much / if it makes sense /.
I love your style @lisa and even your
“ not perfect “ outfits look fun/interesting to me! Follow your posts always.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I sometimes post outfits that I think are pretty meh, just for the sake of keeping it real. Sometimes it will be with the hope someone has a suggestion to improve it, but usually it’s just “this is my life and my day,” and no further goals. We can’t app knock it out of the park every day.

FWIW, I’ve never seen you post an outfit that’s “bad” or a hot mess. I see you experiment and then dial it back. It seems like you go back and forth wanting to do something different and then retreat to a comfort zone, and there really isn’t anything wrong with that. I do it too.

I am also very drawn to beautifully minimal elegant outfits but they don’t seem to translate on me. I always seem to need something a little more in terms of detail, color, accessories... even if it means I never look truly chic.

As for coats, I’m just the opposite of you right now. I have some lovely long wool coats that are staying tucked away with cedar sachets for the moment, because I’m just not into trying that hard at the moment. My life is full of dog hair and throwing on quick, easy-to-care-for jackets to run out the door. Hence my search for a non-precious mid-length coat in a color. I’ve come to be too stocked up on heavy wool coats and short jackets, with not much in between.

However, I agree that few things look nicer than a lovely long wool coat in the winter. I’m sure I’ll pull mine out one day in a fit of boredom over my more casual choices too!

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I so agree that posting "meh" outfits can really help you take stock. I find it especially helpful at the end of the year, when I sometimes look at all my WIW photos in aggregate and it becomes SO immediately clear what worked and what didn't.

Honestly, even with my small(ish) wardrobe, I miss the mark quite a bit, but I like knowing about it when it happens. Keeps me from veering too far off-track.

I also think it's worthwhile to keep some of the less-flattering photos, even if I only post the best ones. Keeps me from deluding myself. (And, by contrast, flattering photos remind me not to be too hard on myself!)

Irina

Veteran

First of all, thank you for a compliment, Lisa. I always doubt if I should even post my outfits as they are so plain.
I admire you desire to experiment and your creative spirit. And always look forward to your posts and discussions that follow.

As for tailored wool coats v puffers, please, don’t hate me but I really want another puffer or two. And a fake fir jacket
Well, it is probably because I bought 2 wool coats in a last month
See the second one below, from COS, still have tags on but I rushed it to my tailor and picked it up from alterations on the last day before the lockdown. That’s dedication, eh?

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unfrumped

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Well I think you are too hard on yourself. But along with posting “meh” outfits, I very much agree that wearing outfits to try out, and seeing where they go off target, is very helpful.
The pandemic makes it both,” oh, well, no matter” to take more risks, but also, whoops, I just “ wasted” my ... ( grocery store, Dr. appt, etc) opportunity.

I’ve not been as energetic as I should be in getting more nicely dressed when going out, and wish I could. Wearing things around the house is an option but somehow doesn’t give me the same feedback.
Anyway, I realize I really like a lot of my clothes but may be wearing some of them for the wrong situations or saving ones that should be used.
A few examples have been that something casual or sporty I bought to achieve an element of juxtaposition comes across not as polished or fitted as I really want for “ out and about “ but is perfect for hiking. Which tells me I do have some sort of aspirational style for certain things and need to try another combo, and put that item into active rotation in another context.

anchie

Veteran

I would never describe your outfits as hot mess. You always have some interesting combinations and I like your attention to details, I fnd your outfits inspirational. I was also smitten with Irina’s outfit, I really love simple elegance, and would love to be able to dress like that but somehow those simple outfits don’t look elegant on me. I don’t know what is the secret, but there must be something more to it.
As regarding posting meh outfits - I actually only post outfits that I am not sure of, or if something feels off and I need advice or help telling where the problem is. If I am happy with the outfit I don’t bother taking photo.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I think we can all learn something from every outfit posted - how we feel about it, and how the audience feels about it - which can differ. And how we feel about the outfit later when we look back at the photo is also interesting, (and like what Jenn said about that).

Lisa P, you always look fabulous, and yesterday's outfit was not a hot mess! Compare but do not despair. Lifestyles differ and so do our settings, moods, and sartorial preferences. Remember that the lovely Irina was at the office - and you were staying at home. Big difference right there You are also drawn to an assortment of looks, and like to wear them. Some of these looks are opposing, and that's great. Why not! I like that you scratch that itch because it's authentic to who you are.

Personally, I haven't stopped wearing my dressy coats. Most are "everyday coats" for me. Some are very tailored, and others more fluid. And I'm outside many times a day because of Sam and living in a loft! Everything on foot. A few are older than 10 years. The dark colours are blue, not black.

I wear my new puffer made of recycled polyester and red aviator fairly frequently. My toffee and long puffer are for the beach, ice and snow only, and worn less often.

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Synne

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Yep, there's value in posting the "meh's" too. Most [all] of my WIWs have been just that. As for striving for minimal luxe, weren't you also recently inspired by Kidmans bohemian luxe coats on "The Undoing"? Maybe you are drawn to many different styles and looks, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think you dress well, always flattering and with a trendy streak.
It would be interesting if the forum did a challenge on dressing "minimal chic luxe" or something of the like. I am sure I would fail even if I REALLY tried. I think it has to do with how certain people always end up making an outfit look RATE, no matter what. While others never can shake off their prim and properness and achieve just that look. I think this has been debated in debt on here before. Very interesting!

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

Just back to add...I am absolutely MOURNING outerwear right now. I love and miss it so much.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

The main thing I notice, Lisa, is that your dissatisfaction with your outfits *is* a recurring thing. And you say you don’t know why that is. I wouldn’t venture to know why at all.
I liked yesterday’s outfit on you. I decided not to say so at the time, because you’ve said to me before that our ideas of dressing and shopping are quite different to one another. You’re much more “fashion” than me, no doubt helped along by a career in the sales field for decades. So if I like it, that could even be a reason for you not to! (Like I once said to Greyscale, that our styles were so opposite, that if I liked something she posted on a K/R then it was probably a sign that she shouldn’t keep it )
At the beginning of this year, pre-pandemic, you had a plan to have a no-buy year. I know that didn’t happen. But is it worth remembering that before you rush off and spend money on a tailored wool coat and then beat yourself up because it isn’t practical for your life and you don’t have the occasion to wear it?
Sticking to my plan for a low-buy year has really helped me to get the wear out of my things and also to see what I am *not* wearing without the distraction of new stuff stopping me wearing the old.
Just wondering and pondering over here...

kellygirl

Veteran

Totally agree with your thoughts but disagree on the hot mess! I love the paired down luxe look but I could never achieve it--not with my current wardrobe. I'm not sure it would even translate if I had the right pieces. I have eclectic tastes and I'm easily influenced. I'll experiments and try things and then usually end back up at square one with a few less $ in my clothing budget. I just don't have the inclination or discipline to stick to a style... Love your posts and your style. You always have such interesting observations and they always make me laugh or think!

ETA: nope. I love the look of structured outerwear but I need something I can wear to work. I'm looking forward to the new work hoodie and vest we are passing out for Christmas. Am considering adding another Uniqlo puffy too.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I have no idea what you mean,I look gorgeous in all my posts!(see photos,)
Seriously though l think that you are consistently too hard on yourself and that maybe this comes from a place of low confidence on some level ?rather than an objective problem with the way you look.

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Roxanna

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Lots more to say so I will come back later but HELL YES to tailored coats - always but even more now as I am in a fog of WFH athleisure. Saw a woman in a lovely chestnut wool coat from aritzia black suede boots and remembered that that is how I love to dress. Bought this beauty a couple of months ago abs I can’t wait to break her out with a cognac scarf and my cognac suede and black leather tote.

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Rag & Bone Dani Single-Button Wool Coat

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Suz

(website)

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Oh how I love a tailored coat? LOVE love love love love.

And I'd dearly like 3 new ones -- an updated navy pea coat to replace my consigned Judith and Charles one...

and a longer military styled navy coat.

AND a patterned or bright of some kind.

Am I going to buy any of them this year? Nope. No $$ for it considering what I actually wear. What I actually wear are my puffers. And my gear.

That's the life I lead right now -- ultra casual -- and I've got to dress for it, with some fun "indoor" looks over the holidays to help compensate a bit for the tremendous loss I feel about not wearing real clothes or seeing real people in real life!

And, truthfully, I do have a nice selection of wool coats to choose from if I get ambitious on my (for now, verboten) neighbourhood walks.

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Anonymous

Definitely not a hot mess, but there's a recurring theme of you wanting to be more minimalist. I remember a similar type of post about the lady with the grey outfit. Then you wrote up some ideas for themes- and it seemed to encompass all the conflicting style goals. Could be an idea to revisit that and tweak it for the new year.
Big yes for streamlined wool coats! I love and wear mine often, and would like another. They may not be warm enough for your climate though. I suspect you probably had some and for climate or other reasons passed them on.

Runcarla

Veteran

Are you prepared to grow your hair into a pony tail? Source a perfect wool coat that suits your body type, and keep the lint roller handy? Suffer the cold feet of elegant boots, and wipe them off as soon as they get saturated with slush and salt? Polish them? Will you spend the money on getting your jeans tailored for that perfect fit? Once you have this elegant outfit, will you wear it on repeat? Where will you wear it? Will that be having fun with fashion?

I don’t see your outfits as ‘kooky’. In fact, you have a fairly consistent neutral heavy - but texturally rich - look. I see these layered and textured looks as ongoing since you’ve been posting on YLF. Your superpowers are grooming and trendy/edgy footwear (and footwear is so, so important!). You seem to enjoy jewellery/ accessories too much for a spare, minimal look. You like trends too much to sink $$$ into the quality that minimalists go for (and wear on repeat for years on end) - and jettison items when they are no longer pristine or when you are ‘over’ the trend. I just don’t see you as a minimalist, Lisa!

I probably need an elegant dress coat - for over funeral outfits that I see coming my way, and maybe for over dresses I might wear in some future winter (not this winter). But would I wear it to the grocery store?For a long walk with DH? To the swimming pool? To bring the garbage to the curb? To shovel snow?

Sal

Veteran

Yes a wool coat (and a new puffer) are top of my 2021 list. The one I bought thinking I would love forever, well I like it, but I don't love it. My style has shifted a bit (shorter dresses to midi dresses, no longer skinnies etc) and so it is a bit limiting.

I do think a sharp coat makes up for a pretty basic look underneath...

I sometimes post photos of outfits that need work and have had the following insights
- realisation that actually it is just fine and not to worry about it
- good suggestions to improve it
- a feeling that it is time to move something on.

I have once or twice regretted it but, that is life (which is not perfect nor is my style).

Anonymous

Sally - I agree that a really great coat makes the outfit, which is why I am yearning to wear one again.

Carla, I don't know whether to laugh or send you home from the party for being a downer. Of course I'm not going to grow my hair to ponytail length. That was just a description of a great look. And of course I'm not going to wear a wool coat out mucking around outside- that's not what I would do with it. Re the boots: NO, I will not be wearing pristine leather boots in slush, I have lots of other options for that. Luckily, my feet don't get cold quickly, and I'm not hanging around outside long enough to worry about that. This would be an errand-running look , or a going-out look , if you will. And no, I will not be tailoring my jeans either ! This is making me laugh just typing it Yes, I would wear this on repeat - in fact that's my whole goal with my wardrobe: to have nice enough clothes that I want to wear them over and over and over again. Minimalist I'm not, but I wish I was and I'm going to keep on trying to get there.

suntiger - despite living in the Canadian Prairies, I don't get old quickly, commute by public transit or spend a ton of time outside in the winter. When I AM outside, I have proper gear for that. I love a winter coat for daily running around - just a polished change from how casual my outerwear has become over the past 3 years. I have a few really nice wool coats, and I will get them steamed out and start wearing them!

Suz - just the *right* coat is hard to find, isn't it? I always keep an open mind when coat shopping otherwise I'll never find anything . I love that lilac jCrew coat of yours and often contemplate ordering that style.

Roxanna - " I remembered this is how I like to look" . HA! Yes. Always me . Your new coat is gorgeous and with suede boots? Perfection.

cardiff girl - great photos And of course there is a lack of confidence issue at play. Always has been, never hidden that. It was beaten out of me at a young age and I've never figured out how to get past it. Conversely, I continue to put myself in situations where it will be constantly undermined. Oh well.

Kelly - we are getting a new work sweatshirt for Christmas from the company too, and we are all trashing it like the ungrateful employees we all are. It's horrendous I too lack the discipline for a tight minimal style , which I think is what Carla was pointing out . I like to think I'm trying though .

Anonymous

Jenni - I know exactly what you mean about everything you've written. You're right - I did announce this year to be a no-buy year, which is a great reminder not to share my fleeting thoughts on line I am the first to admit I did NOT handle Covid 19 and the impact it had on my own life well. Not at all. In fact, now it's worse than ever and I often feel I'm hanging on buy a thread. The financial and emotional impact were huge for me, and even I find that weird and unexpected. I returned to old habits to self-soothe - and that included buying clothes. At least I cut out the alcohol and sugar though. In terms of what you see as constant dissatisfaction, maybe put it in this perspective: I post , what , about 20 outfits a year? And I might not like a few of them. Out of the 345 other outfits I wear, that's not a bad ratio. I'm on this forum to get better and to be better. If I was constantly satisfied, I'd have nothing to learn and no need to participate .

Anonymous

Irina - I get it, and don't hate you All I've worn for at least two winters now are fun, casual jackets and coats, and I'd done with it. You can have all of my puffers and fun fur coats. I crave some dressiness, which for me doesn't mean a sharply fitted and tailored long wool coat that is ridiculous for everyday wear. I'm looking for luxe wool in a swing style (why oh why did i give away a great one from Kit & Ace a few years ago?) or an oversize -ish menswear styling, and probably in a plaid or menswear check. Ah, I can see it in my mind's eye now !

Roxanna

Veteran

Lisa I just love your casual, self deprecating tone and your not taking anyone’s comments - or yourself - too seriously. After all, it is just fashion and I think the bone-cold start to a Canadian winter breeds dissatisfaction in all of us! thanks for making me smile today with your responses

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

Oh, it’s always the discrepancy between the imagined life of elegance and ease, and the realities of climate, pets, actual daily activities and comfort.

For 2020 I have two outfits per day, one being the workout and the other being the rest. And then there’s the third, imagined one that involves real shoes, a handbag and some other elements of a genuine social life.

Imagine the energy involved in all the self examination to document the three of those, daily. Not meh, but definitely a sort of courage.

Brooklyn

Veteran

I don’t think your style is minimalist. I think you admire minimalist style but it’s not YOUR style. No offence intended to Irina - she looks great - but I think you’d get bored with a true minimalist style. You like to try out different looks and experiment. I also think you enjoy pattern and accessories and colour more than a true style minimalist.

I don’t think any of your outfits are meh. It takes a certain courage to post here and put yourself out there for the judgment of others. None of us are models or fashion professionals (Angie excepted). And there are always more reasons not to post than to post. But it makes the forum richer if you do.

As to the coat: a big yes from me. I want something like Roxanna posted but in plaid. Long, structured, preferably single breasted. I have to picky because I only allow myself to buy a coat every few years (can’t justify more). I’ll wait and see what 2021 brings.

Helena

Veteran

Lisa, all I can say is, going in circles high five, and I'd venture to say I go in WAY more circles than you do Fwiw, I agree with the comments that experimentation and playing with fashion as an art form (as distinct from style) is part of your style and personality ... which means sometimes you'll go minimal and sometimes maximal and sometimes textural and whatever else. All I can offer by way of your dilemma is to consider giving yourself way more space to embrace all these contradictions ... because paradoxically I think that may actually help you with your slower/lower shopping goals.

In terms of posting 'meh' outfits, mine are almost always 'meh' (by that I mean, they are nothing to write home about - very plain). Funny enough, sometimes the outfits that make the *best* photos are the ones I like least ... which is good learning in itself. And yes, sometimes I just want some encouragement that I'm doing fine, and I'm very grateful for this group of women who indulge me The reality is, I can think and write about style until the cows come home and I still can't get away from myself - hence the journey is a lot more about making peace with my style rather than trying to create/define/change it ...

Irina

Veteran

Brooklyn, no offense taken. I don’t consider myself a true minimalist. Well, maybe in the winter
I remember Eileen Fisher’s style being called “interestingly plain”. I’ve mastered the second part. And I have to say, it takes no effort to be that plain. LOL

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Lots of interesting tangents, so:
-Posting meh outfits. Yes, I am always curious about what people like vs. what I think. I don't post horrible (to my eyes) pictures of myself but definitely have intentionally posted what I see as bad outfits. I post when I have some decent pictures, which is always the catch. I think Jen is absolutely right that it is the bad ones that bring the good ones to light.
-Minimalist style - I bounce between the goal of elegance and the goal of interesting and even funky. Mood thing there for me. The tension is what keeps the style personal.
-Wool coats. Start by steaming or dry cleaning the one you have and see how you like wearing it. I have tons of coats of all types but only wear a subset. Of course, I have a far milder winter.
-Also love Irina's style .

cat2

Veteran

I am not a gear girl except when exercising so I have continued to wear jeans and trousers with boots in the winter and loafers or other flats in the summer. I have also been wearing all my wool coats except two full length cashmere numbers with really dressy looks. I have car length coats in a grey and black combo and in burgundy and an army green midi length coat from a NAS a couple of years ago and throw them on to walk, run errands, etc.

Bijou

Veteran

Given your climate and lifestyle coats seem to be the perfect piece to add tailoring and warmth to your wardrobe. I always love how sharp blazers and coats look on you. Only you can say whether minimal style is You - of course it could be, you definitely have the flair and eye for fashion to pull it together.

I know for me, I would love to wear minimalist clothing like Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy whose style never looked dated - but I have accepted that it simply is not me and alas I don't have her jet set glamorous lifestyle. I thoroughly agree that when I post the meh outfits, I learn the most and am very grateful to forum members helping me improve my style.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Lisa,l am so sorry to hear that.Childhood is so important in creating the foundation for adulthood isn’t it and I m sorry to hear that yours was not as it should have been.X

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