The urge to get rid of all my clothes - YouLookFab Forum

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The urge to get rid of all my clothes

Scarlet

Veteran

I don't know what's got into me. I feel like I could just toss 85% of what I have. Before I felt like I knew my style and that my wardrobe was in great shape. It worked well and I had all my bases covered. Now I feel like my style has shifted but I don't know to what. I think I just want simpler all around? I don't know if this is just a hormonal stage or something, or the after effects of having a very limited wardrobe during pregnancy and now with postpartum issues and breastfeeding. Or it's a legitimate new phase? I am thinking to just ruthlessly toss stuff into boxes or garbage bags for now and reevaluate in 6 months. I feel like I have done a complete 180. I don't know what my question is exactly, just looking for some insight, I guess.

Finally, I apologize, I have not been on the board as much due to the baby and everything, but I try to stop in when I can, and I really appreciate the feedback. I don't have any help from family or anyone due to living so far away, so my hands have been very full.

General

29 replies

Latest reply was from jenanded

Anonymous

Oh, please don't toss anything right now -- box it up and revisit later when you are feeling more back to normal! You are tired, hormonal, and stressed, and have to deal with a baby, and having something hanging on you all day.

i would suggest you just keep your stripped down nursing friendly wardrobe for now, and once that stage is over you can revisit!

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Ceit. Pack the stuff up and put it away for a few months and then see how you feel about it when you bring it back out.

Also, there is no need to apologize because life interfered with YLF. Fashion is a hobby and we fit those in when there is time.

AJ

Veteran

Big hugs to you Scarlet! No need to apologize; you are a busy new mom right now and of course the baby and your rest/sleep time take priority.

I think all the factors that you listed above play into your current wardrobe restlessness. Plus there have been so many fashion trends and silhouette changes latey, many of us here are feeling a bit at a loss too.

Would it help to jot down a new game plan? What would bump up your everyday style a notch? Adding some colored denim to your jean capsule? Colorful flats instead of sneakers? A new haircut/style always seems to jumpstart a style direction. Also compiling images of what interests you, could pinpoint where to begin.

Start small and put your clothes in a holding zone for now until you feel confident in your new style direction. Keep posting questions when you can. We are here for you.

Scarlet

Veteran

Thank you Ceit, dianthus, and AJ for the wise words and understanding.

AJ, you remind me that another factor is the shift from very fitted clothing to roomier cuts. I love the change, but it is a sea change in fit. Maybe besides that I need to get on Pinterest. That seems to have helped a lot of people.

I think in the mean time I would feel great to have all the space freed up from the clothes I am not wearing. The question is will I ever find the time to unpack them once I go back to work. Ha!

Thistle

Veteran

So, I was in the same spot you are when i went back to work after the birth of my DD. I felt so different and changed that I hated everything. Not to mention, so little of it fit like it should.

Natalie is a superstar, but it took me closer to 10 months to get back to my pre-baby weight. Even now, I don't have my pre-baby body. Hips are different. The baby pooch never went away. Horrid stretch marks.

My recommendation is stash everything and come back to it. Give yourself a few new pieces you can wear and love right now. Really, really stick to capsules so you can get the most out of them. Then, in 6 months to a year, pull out your old clothes.

Yes, there are a few pieces gone from my wardrobe. But a lot has made the cull, and gotten YLF approval, so I know it is upto par now!

Give yourself time and be gentle with youself. babies are hard enough on us!

Glory

Veteran

Give yourself some time to adjust. I like the idea of packing it all up in a couple of containers and then revisit. I have done this a couple of times and there seems to be much more clarity after you havent seen the items for awhile.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Scarlet --

Totally understandable that you feel the way you do (and that's aside from hormones!). Between body changes, lifestyle changes, trend shifts, and seasonal changes it's a lot to take in.

I'd actually suggest a variation of the advice above if you haven't actually started to try things from your closet on. That latter tedious and a timesuck, I know.

So: I'd say go completely with your gut instinct at first as you sort things into hate/meh/love categories. Then get practical and go back and see what is likely needed for right now and near future (life- and weather-wise). Store the bulk of the rest if it seems prudent...and often it does.

If you end up buying new items, try to make sure the new works with other new pieces as well as with your older stuff. Especially when sick of one's clothes, I find it helps to be wearing "2/3 new-to-me!" every so often. Though I certainly appreciate the way a little -- or bigger -- something new can make me happy wearing clothes that have been workhorses for years.

Good luck!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Just having a place to talk about it and vent is probably helpful - so I think I"d try to stay involved here when you can - just reading comments and commenting on other's clothes can be helpful I think. I agree that you should pack some things away to evaluate later. I do this often myself. Focus on wearing the things that are comfortable right now. Maybe buy just a couple of things to get you through if needed. So many soft, forgiving shapes and fabrics are on trend right now.

And handling it all by yourself is a challenge but it will make you stronger and more independent - maybe find a mom's group to join (physical or online)?

Sara L.

Veteran

I also think that packing away the clothes you don't like and then re-evaluating at a later date is a good idea. You may regret purging things at this stage. In a few months when things calm down some (the baby sleeps more at night and is more scheduled during the day) you could re-evaluate those items and see if they might work for your lifestyle.

kellygirl

Veteran

I think it's probably a combination of a new "job" and hormones. I think packing stuff away is a great idea. You can evaluate it with fresh eyes later. I remember feeling this way after my first child but part of my problem was dressing a different body. Coincidentally, I'm feeling this way now too and I'm blaming it on the change of seasons.

ruthe

Oh honey, I'm sorry you're feeling so yucky. You have gotten some really good advice from the wise women on this forum and for goodness sakes don't ever apologize for your feelings. Chime in every chance you get. Wish I was there to give you a hand. I'm a pro at changing diapers (grandkids, you know)

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Scarlet, I wouldn't underestimate the role of seasonal change in addition to all the other big changes. I, personally, always find the shift to spring/summer clothes the most difficult -- particularly when the weather does not feel warm yet -- and I get terribly confused. I can't tell what I like and don't like anymore. And nothing feels quite right.

I'd say if you are dealing with new baby, new role, new body, plus this change -- no wonder it feels overwhelming.

Maybe start with the two or three things you do like in your closet. What (if anything) unifies them?

In a sense, you have a new job, and you may need to dress differently for it. Also, I think many of us are moving towards a more minimal look in general -- it seems to be the way the tide is shifting -- and even if you don't go all the way in that direction, it might indeed be a harbinger of a style refresher for you.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

It's totally normal to feel that way! Your body and life have gone through major changes and things will never be totally the same again. Which is a good thing, but it does mess with your sleep and your wardrobe!

I may look like I snapped back in a hurry, but you have to remember that I already had two kids before (and plus I have learned a lot of apple-hiding trickery which helps). So I am going back to post-multiple-kids body, not pre-kids body. After I had my first child, most of my clothes never fit me again--I had turned into an apple and the tops were too short and tight. I continued to wear maternity clothes for five years straight until my 2nd one was 1.5 and I finally found YLF. I wouldn't recommend doing it that way, but I do think that your wardrobe will be changing now that you've had a baby. It took me about a year to go back to my pre-pregnancy weight both times before, but my shape was totally different from how I was before kids. And it's normal that your style will shift too, as you now have needs that you didn't have before, with nursing and being an active MOTG.

I was lucky that most of the new pieces I bought during my pregnancy were stretchy non-maternity pieces, so they are working well for this postpartum transition period. A lot of my pre-pregnancy post-YLF clothes though, may need to be re-evaluated or saved for another year or so till my body goes back to my baseline (both nursing boobs and postpartum pooch).

I would recommend putting the clothes away that you don't use or feel fab in or fit into, but re-evaluate them in six months when your body has stopped changing and your life has stabilized, things are calmer and you have a better sense of your new style direction. In the meantime, incorporate a few new pieces at a time into your pared down wardrobe and see how you feel and how your style is evolving. Big hugs and hope you get more rest!

ETA: I also agree with joining a local mom's group if you can! It's great to make new friends, both for you and the baby (my daughter still plays with her baby playgroup friends). And I'll PM you with the name of my mommy board--it's another time suck, but I've learned so much from it (I actually learned about YLF from a mom there!).

missvee

Veteran

I get spring fever every year around this time and want to change everything - my clothes, the garden, the house, you name it ( but not DH). I like the suggestion to box up some things so that you can revisit them before making a final cull. Good luck!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I can't relate on the new mom front, but I can relate in having such a shift in silhouette as to realize 90% of what you have doesn't feel good and current anymore.
I am finding I want to (and have tossed) many tops this year that just feel too snug. Styles are moving on. It's hard.
Hang in there.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

You already got tons of great advice from the ladies here. I just wanted to add my hugs!
I like Suz's idea to focus on those 15% you still like to understand where is your current style is shifting. Then pack away what does not work for now to be evaluated later.
Even without a new baby, hormones and changing body I feel this style shift now. I think it must be spring in the air...:-)

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I agree with Ceit. Pull out the things you like & wear - box up the rest of the good stuff & revisit it in 6 mths.

ElleH

Veteran

Plenty of good advice already just hugs from me. I can definitely relate & I have seen others on here posting about being unsure of where their style is headed. It must be something to do with the major change in fashion recently.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Such wisdom from the ladies. I also think it's a case of Spring Fever! So I'm sending you hugs and virtual Easter Eggs. We miss you but know your hands are very busy looking after a little one. No worries!! Stop by when you can and know that you are always welcome. xo

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I think there may also be another factor which has not been mentioned, the arrival of a new baby inevitably means the washing machine spins far more frequently, which in my case led to the wearing and washing of a few outfits over and over. If your favourite is clean and you are short of time why reach for something else?

If I found myself in this situation again, I would build a capsule of four of five solid outfits and wear the heck out of them. I would store other items away until my figure has settled and then reassess.

Scarlet

Veteran

These responses have been so helpful and illuminating. Interesting that a lot of people are feeling a change in direction and spring fever. Our weather forecast is snow, grey, and snow, but I guess spring fever is a question of the calendar and our internal clock.

Today I bought some big boxes to store the extra clothes in. I also recently bought some new tops and shoes, so maybe with a little more help I will get it figured out for now.

Thistle and Natalie, thanks for sharing your experiences. That makes a lot of sense.

Vix, yes, trying things on right now is not in the cards due to time, so I have to go with my feeling. Also very good point about 2/3 new. So true. I am trying to do that, but without buying too many new things.

Jules, you are so right. I am doing tons of wash and wearing the same three things over and over because I don't have to think. The thing is that those three things looked kind of cute before, but now that I have mostly lost the belly, they look streched out and make me look bigger than I am.

Angie, sometimes a little chocolate goes a long way! I am glad you have faith in me to find my way.

ETA: I am involved in a couple of mommy/baby groups, although it's not a homey situation yet.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Hi Scarlet, I'm late to the party here but I wanted to send you some virtual Lindor Truffles to help ease the transition! I like all of the support and advice from the ladies. The only thing different I have to add is that I am actually for some purging at this point. So I agree with Vix; if there is anything you no longer like, take this opportunity, as you are already handling the garments, to save a future step and get rid of them now. Some more (probably obvious) ideas: toss anything obviously dated or worn out. Save anything high-quality. These quality garments are the ONLY things I later regret purging. But still, life goes on! The more you purge now, the more you have permission to update your wardrobe when you feel ready to do so. That is, if finances allow it.

The things I wouldn't purge, and that make sense to box up, are classic work clothes in good condition. Also, evening wear. I feel both of these categories change less in style than casual and smart casual attire.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

And in case you are interested:
http://pinterest.com/cocolion/

sarah

Veteran

Scarlet, please don't feel you have to apologize for not being around now. You've got your hands full and I'm sure your head is elsewhere, too. I'd echo the advice to not do anything drastic - between hormones, lack of sleep and a new body, everything is in flux for you, and it's so hard to know how you'll feel in 6 months.

Ariadne

Veteran

Sounds like you're all set for chocolate. I'm sending you some WHISKEY (or other tipple of your choice)!

This is totally normal. Been there, done that twice over. Plus styles are changing SO dramatically right now, and this, to me, feels like the year when those changes are really trickling down to the everyday, retail level. It's a huge thing to wrap your style mind around. Add in a first baby and all the changes that brings, and, well:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrb2Oc6naDI

Head asplode!

You'll figure this out. It'll take time. It's all good (even if it feels bad).

Day Vies

Veteran

I think your shift in perspective is legitimate. Your body has changed and your needs have changed. I think it's ok to change your mind. Too many times we don't make room for change -- then change comes and gets us whether we like it or not.

Gaylene

Veteran

Ah, Scarlet, it's not easy being a new mother so don't be too hard on yourself.

But, I have to tell you, that when I first read the title of your thread, I thought that you were going to inform the forum that you had decided clothes were superfluous and were thinking of returning to a more natural state. Since the night temperatures are still quite cold around my area, I was going to encourage you to hang on to at least a sweater.

Scarlet

Veteran

Denise, yes, it has been several years since I did a real purge anyway and the are certainly things ready to go now. I also appreciate the advice about what to hang onto in your experience. I think you are right about those.

Day Vies, very wise words.

Gaylene, it is snowing here again. What I should really do is put all my clothes on at the same time and wait for spring! But no, no rejection of the modern world or consumerism or fashion or anything over here.

jenanded

Veteran

how exciting go into a new part of your life... i would box up the blahs, enjoy your new tops, and then when you are at the next bit, you will reinvent again. hugs through the journey