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The stylish resolution that made me think

Debbie

Veteran

Set the stylish standard and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for dressing in the ways that make you happy.

The above statement really hit home with me. As it is something I am struggling with. I work for a flooring design company. I deal with the owners,installers, designers, other employees on a regular basis. The problem for me is the way I dress. The dress code is extremely casual to the point that workout clothes are often the norm. I just can't get into that.
Comments have been made along the line of "do you dress up everyday" "are you trying to make the rest of us look bad. For a little while I was very self-conscious when getting dressed everyday and wearing things that I would never wear into an office. After reading this and having a couple of days to think about it. I am going to stay true my style. I have printed this line out and taped it to my mirror.
Thank-you Angie!

Dressing

28 replies

Latest reply was from MsMary

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Debbie, it struck home with me, too. Sometimes I've heard similar comments, often when I'm visiting family, and it has made me self-conscious at times. I try not to let it bother me, though, and I think it reflects more on the commenter than on me. I don't feel I'm inappropriately dressed for the situations. (That would be a different matter.)

Debbie

Veteran

That is the same conclusion I have come to Sharan. I am inapproraitely dresses for an office. I personally think running shorts are inappropriate for an office. I am going to continue to dress in a way that makes me feel good.

JAileen

Veteran

I think it's funny they say you're making them look bad. They are making themselves look bad by the clothes they choose to wear!

chirico (Chiara)

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Firecracker: the comments reflect how the commenter feels about himself!
A couple of years ago I was the dressed up one at work. Now some colleagues have stepped up their "dressiness". Isn't this funny?

Anonymous

Walk tall and keep dressing well. You're making the world a more beautiful place!

Sally

Veteran

I used to work with a woman that came to work in costume everyday. No one else dressed like her even though some of us dressed up but it was a lot of fun for us to have someone like that around. I can't imagine why anyone dressed beautifully could make others feel bad. It should be inspiring.

Anonymous

Keep dressing like you always have Debbie and don't heed any silly comments. As Sally said, you will be inspiring and who knows, maybe your colleagues will raise their game a little. Frankly, I think it's bad form to turn up to work in workout gear as some do.

Stay true to your fab self Debbie. xo

Anonymous

GOOD FOR YOU, DEBBIE. I applaud your decision and your resolve.

Summer

Veteran

Good for you, Debbie. You should dress to make you happy and to your own impeccable standards. Actually, I consider it rather rude of others to comment in this way. I'm sure you are too polite to reply: "Don't you feel under-dressed coming to work in your exercise gear?".

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

STAY TRUE TO YOUR STYLE. That's music to my ears, Debbie.

I get angry when people make you feel bad for how you want to dress. You don't make them feel bad for wearing workout clothes - so they should accept - and appreciate - that you are smart casual. We can all live in peace.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Good for you Debbie! Let's see if you up the dress code a bit

Anonymous

Oh god, if I didn't hear that for years and years and years - everywhere I went. Work, parties, family gatherings, you name it. "Are you trying to be better than everyone else?" was one comment that stuck in my brain for years. It used to really bother me - a lot.

The workplace is a funny environment - we are stuck for hours on end with people we don't choose to be with - and all kinds of bizarre things happen. Now I don't give a $%^& - and I'm glad you don't either. Shorts at work? Yikes.

Colette

Veteran

Debbie, ignore all the noise! I just wrote on Lisap's last post that I have on the top of my personal shopping list BE TRUE TO YOURSELF! And honestly I'd rather be more dressed up than too casual for work or gatherings.

Debbie

Veteran

Thank-you for the support ladies. I really appreciate it.
Sally- I think it would be fun to work with someone like that!
Lisa-the workplace is a sticky environment. Our casualization of it IMO seems to have given some people a leave on their common sense.
Angie-thank-you! I want to be true to myself and feel good in what I am wearing.
Thank-you again!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Good for you, Debbie. You are doing us all proud!! We carry the flag for sartorial joy and appropriate clothing for the task and situation!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I echo what Suz so eloquently said, Debbie. NEVER feel bad for sticking with your sartorial joy.

Anonymous

Oh the casual dress code. Don't get me started on that one! You dress up all you want. I always have, and I have also occasionally heard the comments, though my family always loved the way I dress. My only struggle right now is figuring out how to work boots into my personal style, both at home and at work, because I can no longer wear dress shoes.

Debbie

Veteran

Thank-you everyone!
Suz you are so wise!

Joy

Veteran

Be true to what pleases you and, eventually, some will probably follow your lead. Others will wish that everyone would dress as ultra casually as they do. Don't pay any attention to them.

Gigi

Veteran

Way to go, Debbie! I work at home, but I often get comments from people in my apartment building: You're always so dressed up; You always look so nice; etc. Sometimes it makes me feel self-conscious, but I realized that it probably adds a little brightness to someone's day to see someone who is not wearing the standard sweats and old t-shirt. The way we dress really affects how we feel about ourselves. I think it's great that you are continuing to keep the standard high, even at work.

Ginger Tea

I am happy to read this! You are the style trendsetter at your workplace.

That was the New Year's resolution that I most took to heart as well on Angie's resolution post.

Even though I work part-time from home and have an ultra-casual lifestyle, I've really started wearing my 'good' things every day. Right now I'm wearing a Vera Wang sweater... just to lounge around and type this!! I wouldn't have been doing that last year. I'd have mentally shelved it in my 'too good to wear around the house' pile. Craziness.

About the comments at work: have you noticed that the comments that sound most passive-agressive--or just downright aggressive-- always begin with 'YOU....' Meaning, the commenter is telling you something about yourself (ostensibly), but they're really telling you something about themselves.

In the past I've either felt foolish and not known what to say, or I've attempted to defend whatever behavior the commenter is commenting on. Recently I've found the only way I can respond which makes me feel good is to counter with a comment about the commenter, OR just respond as if the commenter is giving a great complement. E.g.: 'Wow, you really notice what I wear every day! You must have a great interest in fashion!' or 'Thank you! I especially like my outfit today!' Haha.

Debbie

Veteran

Thank-you for all of your wisdom!
Ginger Tea I am going to use your suggestions. Especially "I especially like my outfit today."

Brooklyn

Veteran

Debbie, I would think the company you work for would be pleased as punch to have a stylish, well dressed representative. I am sure it is more likely to impress your clients and suppliers too. Ignore the critics!

viva

Veteran

I love Ginger Tea's suggestions for responses! So perfect.

You have such great style, Debbie. I always love the dresses you choose. Please keep wearing them with joy! Don't listen to the haters.

Anonymous

You could always say something like, "Thanks! This outfit makes me feel good whenever I wear it."

unagi

In general, dressing you make yourself happy is an excellent thing, I totally agree. But consider that dressing is also very much a social action. Do you dress up to an extent that you may have trouble with parts of your job? For instance, could clients avoid having you look at an actual worksite because of perception that your shoes are inadequate for construction (whether they are or not)? Do you work with enough other women, a diverse enough bunch that being overly dressed up doesn't simply emphasize your status as an outsider, not a team player etc?

I'm asking because I've mostly worked in the tech industry, and showing up at work dressed to the teeth, even if that had made me happy, would have caused me no end of difficulties on that level. I don't dress like the worst of the guys, no running shorts and flipflops :-). But I'm content with well-fitting clothes in good fabrics, wool pants rather than jeans, plain sweaters but cashmere etc. I reserve my real dressing up for my real life, where my happiness is the only factor to consider.

Anonymous

I agree that sometimes it's not practical to dress up. That's why we have certain clothes for certain activities. What I wear to work is entirely different than what I wore while on vacation in Cozumel, and different than what I would wear for a formal event. That said, if there's nothing that hinders you from dressing up, and you want to dress up, then by all means do it!

MsMary

Veteran

Hooray, Debbie! I've seen many of your work outfits and you always look appropriate and approachable. You are definitely stylish without being "dressed to the teeth" in a bad way!

As I posted on another thread, I am almost always the most dressed person in the room, and I'm perfectly okay with that. My clothes are always appropriate for the occasion even though they skew dressy.