Thanks all, some really interesting thoughts. I will be back to this later to reply individually but have to get a quote done at work. Got to keep the work rolling in

Sartorial inclinations are certainly representative of individual personality! There might be some constraints based on whatever the environmental norms are, but even how close one adheres to the standard uniform of the tribe is flavoured by individual personality.

Thanks for this thought provoking topic Sal. I find my personal style to be driven by multiple factors- practical, figure flattery, aesthetic appeal (colors, patterns, contrast level, etc.), my personal features, and personality. I assume personal preferences come from a mix of these factors in one way or another. My personality is a strange mix of sporty/athletic, physical energy, calm analytical thought, organization and detail orientation without perfectionism, creativity and impulse, playfulness, introversion, connection to family and friends, professional confidence and decisiveness (not present in other areas of my life). My thought process improves when I fidget/move. I laugh with my entire body, talk with my hands and my facial expressions look bold, even though I believe I look flat in photos. Ease of movement and texture are of practical importance. I have been told multiple times by multiple people that I come across as intimidating. I suspect this is secondary to the stereotypical masculine features in my personality, my vocabulary, my height, my hand gestures, and it is in keeping with my Kibbe category (which I believe is a pure Dramatic). I have never embraced a frilly/girly aesthetic, yet I appreciate this on others. I have never been described as “cute”, “sexy” or “Boho”. I have experimented with various iterations of boho, sexy and cute but they never feel right. My current style reflects my personality but I also use it to soften the intimidation factor so people can better sense my empathy and compassion, my authenticity. For example, I wear solids and neutrals and have shifted away from bright colors and most patterns. I wear jeans in professional settings even when no one else would dare do so. Somehow it looks professional and polished enough without looking pretentious. Jeans suits my need for comfort, movement, playfulness and not being too girly. I always add something sentimental. I add playful elements using accessories others might notice or in more subtle ways. For example I have previously described thinking of long cardigans as “superhero capes” as they flow behind me when I walk. Adding blazers, blouses and nice shoes add dressy, feminine and professional elements. I related well to Suz meaningful color palette. I call my palette Summer Mediterranean Beach and each color reflects something with personal meaning.

Sal, I resonated with your comment about hair style. I kept my hair pixie length for years because it stayed wet all day following my high school swim practices and I hated taking time to style it or use the dryer. As a working parent, taking extra time to fuss with my hair did not make practical sense so I kept the pixie. The practical constraints in my life have changed, so I have been able to let my hair grow, but I still let it air dry.

First question, yes, because a fundamental aspect of my personality is the desire to be a harmonious component in my environment so I choose many of my style and color preferences from my surroundings.

Second question, yes, I am, for the same reason.

The topic of hair is a whole subject of its own!

Well my first impression is everyone's personality comes out pretty clearly in their attitude toward their style, if not the execution. External constraints such as weather, work environment, type of hair, etc. may limit the expression of style but the attitude is pure personality I think.

As for me, I am very introverted but I guess I don't mind being noticed as long as you don't try to talk to me about it . I am a conventional wisdom skeptic, and if anything, getting older and maybe more mature has shown me that sometimes conventional wisdom has a point. I dress for psychological comfort, physical comfort and personal amusement - order depending on my mood.

What a great read!

My personality plays into my style in a few ways: The biggest way is that I'm more of a big picture person than a small details one, so my natural inclination is to not try to be perfectly polished. I've always been an activist and believe in the power of individual action to make the world a better place, which leads me to a small wardrobe made from natural materials. (On some level, I'm sure that influences my color choices too, just based on what's most easily available from sustainable manufacturers.) I'm introverted and often (but not always) want to avoid being roped into conversation about my clothing.

I think I wrote about this in the BVP discussions, but I've also always been mature for my age. That doesn't really apply anymore (for the most part, adult is adult), but it still manifests in my not really feeling comfortable in anything quirky or twee.

Am back to say... I tried a thought experiment to get at this a little more: Has there ever been a time where I thought I wasn’t able to express my personality in clothing? And the answer is yes! Two places.

Office dressing I think had me with a lot of wardrobe churn because I was never quite satisfied. The contracts where I never had to go on a factory floor. Which is interesting to me. I don’t know. It may be that overall I don’t much like being just a paper pusher and calling it work, which is ironic because what else is a tech writer?

The other place where I think it’s difficult to dress me is the Caribbean. There’s simply no punk rock at Grandma’s. It doesn’t compute at all. Also, as far as I can tell, everyone is a right eccentric and completely quirky. If quirky is the norm, is it quirky?

shevia, we cross-posted, but too funny that we said the same thing about introversion!

I feel I can dress to suit my personality, yes. I think I have been able to ever since Mum gave me access to a certain budgeted amount of money for the year when I was 15 and let me choose my own clothes to buy. I only lost my way a bit when the children were very young, about 1991-7. I didn’t have much time or much money and both lost touch with, and also didn’t like much, what was in fashion. Then again I struggled in the late “noughties” with menopausal weight change. I didn’t know what suited me and felt a bit desperate.
Have I changed to fit dress codes? Not really. I didn’t ever want to dress corporate and luckily my job has not required it. I have tried to look “professional” in a somewhat loose sense-no high heels or blazers.
I do really like to learn about the Kibbe stuff etc because I am also fascinated about things like- if I might be a “soft gamine” then is that why I already like cropped pants or sleeves, because they look nice showing my elbows and wrists, or that I have had a pixie cut for much of my life, because my face suits it? I thought I just liked these things but like the chicken and the egg, which came first?

This is a wonderful and thoughtful provoking post and thread. I am enjoying all the comments. I am clearly in transition in my life, my style, my goals, so my thoughts are all over the place. I am oddly ok with with that, as I sense this mental scatter is part of a growth mindset. I am willing to see how my style may change.

I think Helena said it best—unless you are a very practiced actor playing a specific role well, your personality shines through whatever you put on. This is why I don’t really understand the fuss over trying to find your own unique style. Some things just feel better & more right than others. Wearing them = dressing in your style, which is as unique as you are. There are times we want/need to lean in a certain direction or tweak our style to work in a certain way, but in the end if you know who you are, you know what your style is.

Zaeobi - Hello my soul twin!!!

Hmm, FashIntern, I do often agree with you but I think not in this case? We wouldn’t have programmes like What Not To Wear ( I am more familiar with the British original with Trinny and Susannah- think I have that correct) if there weren’t people who didn’t know their style? I know that those shows did tend to dress people in a certain way that was trendy at the time, but I think many of the people featured would have probably learned a lot about what flattered them and been able to tweak their style in an ongoing way? But maybe not... don’t think there was ever a follow-up? Maybe they did already know themselves but not their style...

Fashintern, I’m not sure I fully understand what you are tying to say, maybe some additional clarification would help. If I am understanding you correctly, you are saying that we do not need to cultivate personal style because our innate choices would automatically dictate unique personal style. I think that may be partially true, but there is a difference between a unified personal style and being stylish, or allowing personality to be reflected in the clothing lines that are most flattering. I see two problems with your line of thought as I understand it. Firstly, in my experience, very few people know themselves well or understand and have full confidence in their choices. Secondly, my take on this aspect of Sals question is that our taste preferences may in fact be different or perhaps broader than the way we define our personal style. In my case, for example. I would love to wear bright warm colors, like sunny lemon yellow, or an elegant black and white outfit, but they do not work well with my coloring. Does this mean since I look better in certain colors and contrast levels that they reflect my personality? I do not think so. By default, to create a stylish working wardrobe, we all have to make choices, and select those aspects that will in fact define our style. In making those choices we are eliminating others that may still reflect our personality, but not work within our style parameters. If we select too narrowly, perhaps we may narrow our ability to express the full range of our personality.

Staysfit, to continue on your last paragraph, is kind of circling back to one of my points. There are styles I would love to wear for a cool, casual, rock'n'roll look that just don't translate quite right on a body with hips and chest. Not only is fitting those "attributes" a challenge in general, but a lot of the styles traditionally cut for curvier bodies -- classics like wrap dresses, for example -- don't convey the attitude of funky, trendy jeans and crop tops which generally are a much easier fit on those with narrower, straighter figures. I'm always compromising a bit of my personality for flattery and practicality, but finding the balance for each individual person is what makes individual style!

I also absolutely agree that not everyone can do this by instinct. I'm a trained artist and am still constantly learning things about dressing my body to suit my evolving wishes. Are there constants throughout the decades? Sure! But I like the process of learning more and mixing things up a bit to stay current and keep myself from getting bored or falling into a rut. I was most definitely in a comfort zone rut when I first discovered YLF 11 years ago -- I defaulted to only bootcut jeans (was afraid of skinnies), with t-shirts or buttondowns. I went a little overboard with experimenting during my first year or so on the forum, figuring out what aspects of my personality I wanted to dress for. I wore things that *seemed* right for an artist -- skirts with funky hosiery, quirky tricky tops, thrifted jewelry, etc. But I tired of that quickly and came to land somewhere in between that and the bootcuts-and-tees rut. But it's an ongoing process that I think can be a fun exercise in self-discovery and self-expression.

It reminds me of a quote I use in my creativity presentations: "When you are finished changing, you are finished."

Fashintern, I agree with you that "personality shines through" and I was thinking about this specifically after viewing Lisap's classics outfits in which her spirit was just as dominant as in her less traditional outfits, and added real beauty and interest to the outfits.

But! The desire to develop a style could also be related to personality, an expression of it, and even the "make it work" aspect described by Staysfit and Janet could be re-viewed as personality traits, like perseverance in the face of opposition, or the ability to meet a challenge.

I’m pretty much with Fashiontern —for me, it’s all instinct and emotion. (I wouldn’t have said this 5 years ago when I fancied myself a bit of left-brainer )

People take different approaches, depending on how analytical you are.

Seeing beautiful outfits, smart wardrobes, inspiring combinations of many members of YLF forum, magazines articles, fun and thought provoking posts by bloggers with unique visions helps immensely.
Dressing on my own would leave me in a simple outfits that would eventually become too boring and too repetitive - my personality is very comfort driven, casual and laid back. Gowns, special occasion outfits, complicated garments are always difficult for me ( some are just absent from my life ).

FI, I would say you’d think so, but it doesn’t necessarily... that is, one’s personality will inevitably show, but it might have to fight its way through one’s clothing. If you simply dress the way your mom taught you, or via one of those magazine essentials list every student will read getting ready for their ‘first real job’, or if you haven’t explored the world or visual vocabulary of clothing... As a young person, I often defaulted to tribal Preppy dress, confusing tribe for style personality. As an adult, even tho I got more creative, I found my clothing to be deceptive for others. They’d think me laidback or sweet and then find out I can be as mean as anyone else in my mum’s family... ha! And I always found it, and still do, difficult to communicate what I want in a) summer wear and b) proper office dress.

I do think personality shines through regardless, but to me this does not negate the process of trying to refine, home, learn, etc. ... I am always trying to do this, and love learning more about what works for my body type, personal colours, etc. I guess I would only say that this in itself is an expression of my personality, because I am naturally drawn to these sort of systematic approaches ... Whereas for someone else using a totally intuitive approach might be an expression of their personality. The two things can absolutely work together as I understand it, and both approaches can be valid expressions of personality. If that makes sense!

I agree with slim cat 100% -- without some outside inspiration, combined with experimentation and self-reflection, my wardrobe would be pretty boring!

Also, there are certain situations (formal and festive occasions) that I haven't really figured out how to dress for in a way that satisfies me. I apparently have no inner compass capable of guiding me to the right looks for me for those events, so instead of being intuitive I have to pay attention to what works for others and go from there. Totally an outside-in process, not an inside-out one.

Wow this thread has really taken off and so many great thoughts.

There is no correct or wrong answer here. I know my Mum struggled to find clothes she liked, fitted and that she could manage with arthritic hands. Almost impossible.

I think experimentation, finding our own style, self expression - are all fun. And yes I do want to present myself in a way that makes me look interesting, stylish and current without looking too cliche.

I hope to draw more thoughts together but on my phone away for the weekend.

I wish we had a thumb's up or Like button. . .I so agree with LaPed's comment about not figuring out how to dress for certain situations to feel authentic. For me that's wedding and baby showers. Showers themselves are so not me so it's hardly a jump to conclude that I struggle to dress for them because I feel as though I ought to dress to societal norms so as not to embarrass the guest of honor and/or hostess. Normally, I dress to please myself without regard to what others think.

DonnaF ...... That is so like me. I'm reallly bad at parties and any large social occasion like a wedding, baby shower or evening party, and tend to avoid them. I wonder if that is why I find it so hard to dress for them. I'm great with meeting up friends for breakfast, lunch or even an evening meal but large crowds and late nights put me off. I get up at 5am and do yoga which I know a lot of people would find awful. My introversion, dislike of crowds and formal occasions is a big part of my personality and is a bit of a block in preparing for these occasions. The photo below is of the last wedding I went to. I couldn't organise what to wear so I ended up borrowing my sister's dress and jewellery. This was before my recent weight loss.

Thanks to all for chiming in on this thread. I have left it too long to reply individually but to my mind...

- personality mostly does shine through - unless we don't want it to. And I would argue that as we get older, it shines through more. Teenagers often dress in trends, or tribes. The teenagers I know mostly either dress to conform or rebel. But that makes sense - as we mature we have older pieces in our wardrobes, we have seen a few fashion cycles, and have experienced stylish successes and misfires...

- I think we can have areas that are beyond our comfort zone - the baby shower, travelling, formal occasions etc... When it is outside our natural tribe or situation - I have felt like that with a group of gorgeous glamourous ladies who lunch with diamonds and designer bags etc.. I didn't know what to wear and felt I got it wrong (but actually it probably didn't matter).

- I think that it is hard to dissociate the external from the internal. If I am feeling good about myself, and healthy and not stressed, my confidence in my fashion is higher. If you are vulnerable about yourself, your life, clothing can be harder. But I think dressing well can help boost your confidence if you can muster the energy or resource to do so.

I wanted to make sure I got back to this, because I appreciate the interaction.

JenniNZ, I never watched WNTW, but I know many people here did. My impression is that it didn’t help people find their own style; being told to put something you love in the trash doesn’t sound at all like a way to discover who you are/your style. And I’ve seen many stories (including on YLF) about people ending up in outfits they clearly felt awkward in.

Staysfit, thanks for your reply to my comment. Your observation that “unified personal style and being stylish” is a good one! I need to amend my earlier statement because finding ways to dress “like yourself” and also fit in with the latest requirements can be tricky indeed. My personal observations coincide with your expert opinion on people knowing themselves. The example of using bangles to fill in for too-short sleeves is an interesting one, because of course bangles aren’t everyone’s style, so there we see the conflict. I think i was considering physicality as separate from style, but of course there is no other way to express sartorial style than dressing the body we have. Your comments about loving things that don’t love you back surprises me a bit; I wouldn’t have anything against mustard, sage, and similar colors, if they looked right on me. But I am not everyone.

Rachylou, good food for thought! I’ve thought of my wardrobe’s evolution during my adult years as throwing off my mom’s influence, but of course I might be influenced under the radar in ways I don’t fully realize, probably starting with my tendencies to take the less extreme version of trends and to wear things for years. I’m more like nemosmom, enjoying Cher flair, but not buying into it (though I loved wearing my funky pants, was much more comfortable in them than I’d expected, and now am wondering if I want to go a bit more extreme. This time I don’t wait a quarter century before wearing things). I tend to draw attention even when I wish to be an observant wallflower, so that tempers what I wear a bit, but I could just as easily say it doesn’t matter, people are going to notice me anyway.

Helena, thanks for restating.

So my revised opinion—thanks again to everybody who helped me think this through—is that your personality shines through—but there ican be a lot of stuff for it to go through. Not to be too poetic, but I’m thinking of a pattern on the ground, made by the light (personality) shining through leaves, lenses, and other filters in the environment, and is also shaped by the surface where it lands.

Sal, thanks for tolerating my long comment. I had no intent to hi Jack. Thanks for starting this discussion!

Never mind. Deleted.

Fashintern - I agree with your comment that there are layers for it to show through. Some are enforced on us externally(cultural requirements, dress codes, fit issues, availability of clothing etc) and some are more internal (personality, mood etc)...

My son wears a very strict uniform to school with a strict haircut and grooming code... the only exceptions are for cultural reasons. Some personalities do shine through (some kids cannot keep their shirt tucked in or have permanently dirty knees) and push the haircut rules to the limit.... And others are happy just to blend in....