The Effect of Fashion; - YouLookFab Forum

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The Effect of Fashion;

Ginny

Veteran

Dear YLf Friends,
I have been MIA this past couple of weeks due to my husbands devastating health news. My last post was on the comfort of outfits for a doc. office and I unfortunatley have been using this formula more than I have cared to in my life. We are settled into the calm before the storm, or holding pattern at the moment and I have felt a little reflective with this sudden downtime. And cherish a moment of thinking of all things girly instead of all things medical. When my husband was preparing for surgery I did feel silly thinking what am I going to wear, seriously Ginny what are you thinking,does that really matter now??? Well it really did, though I did not photo any, I used formulas from here that during my husbands stay at the hospital that really made me feel better. I had my comfy jeans and loose animal print bouse and comfy flats. I felt that I want to look like I am in control even tough I am in control of nothing. But I realzed later that it not only made me feel better, itmade me husband feel better, because when he looked at me I looked put together and he felt like I could keep it together as well. But one thing I also forgot about in regards to being in this foreign territory of being on the other side of the bedrails is the company you receive and the professionals you come in contact with while someone is being hospitalized. My husbands head up bosses came to see him and I was so glad i was not sitting there in a pair of sweat pants.
My husband told me it was nice to see me in cheery colors, I think he worried this hospitalization was harder on me than him, where as of course I felt the opposite. But putting the effort every morning before I headed up there after just a few hours of sleep and lots of coffee made him feel better. which had not occurred to me since this event.
Thank you for letting me vent a little and sit here in retrospective to realize fashion does so much more than decorate the outside, it truley helps comfort the inside as well, for me and my hubs anyway.
Please know if I am not posting or commenting as often, I am browsing when I get a chance, and I pray this will soon be behind us and I will be just as involved as I can be, as this is my little piece of cyber fun/outlet.
Thanks, Ginny

General

33 replies

Latest reply was from Aida

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, Ginny! I am so glad to hear that your husband is all right...it seems to be a season for YLFers to be dealing with family health issues. And you are SO right; when dealing with my mother's recent health crisis I was very grateful for my little capsule wardrobe and knowing I would be put together every day.

I hope things continue to improve for you and we are thinking of you.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Oh, Ginny, I had not heard! Best wishes for your husband - and for your whole family. *hugs*

I know just what you mean about fashion helping us to feel in control. A very wise friend of mine has a favorite saying that you can only control yourself... so when life feels crazy, it is only natural to gravitate toward something you have say over. I'm so glad that this was a positive thing for you as well as the DH. Many positive vibes to you!

cjh

(website)

Veteran

Ginny, thanks for the thoughtful message. You and your husband are in my thoughts and hope his recovery is fast and complete.

christieanne

Veteran

Ginny, your message strikes at the heart of things - how do you feel a bit in control when something you can't control at all is swirling around you. I think your thoughtfulness about how your husband's perceptions are spot on. Also, I wonder if the medical staff didn't step up when they saw how put together you were (or at least not dismiss you mentally)?

I hope things continue on a positive and healthy path for your husband! Take care and thank you for sharing your enlightening thoughts on this with us

JennyAnne

(website)

Veteran

It's nice to have a diversion, and if it cheers him up, even better! I'm thinking positive thoughts for your husband.

HelenInCanada

Veteran

I'm so sorry you've been going through this challenging time with DH. What a wonderful way to frame it, though - very hopeful. The need to look and feel pulled together doesn't disappear with a life crisis - as you so wisely say, this is something you can control in a seemingly uncontrollable situation. And you associate it with the support you get from YLFers. If it makes your husband smile too - awesome. Wishing you both all the best.

harmonica

Veteran

All my love and support to you, your hubs and your dearest & nearest! You put it all down in such a conscious, thoughtful and really nice way. Thank you so much for sharing.

catgirl

Veteran

OMG, Ginny, did I miss a post somewhere? What was going on? I am glad things are well enough that you are able to take some brain-resting time on girly matters. It is a definite comfort to know that when the big picture dominates, the little things like looking put together can take care of themselves. Hugs and good vibes to you both.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

So glad to hear from you Ginny! Hope your husband is doing better.

It was interesting to read how fashion and style had a positive effect on BOTH of you during a very difficult time. It would be wonderful if those who think it is frivalous could realize the actual difference it can make.

Don't put any pressure on yourself to be on YLF more than you are able - we know you'll be back when you can. In the meantime, hugs for you and hubby!

nancylee

Veteran

Ginny, I am so sorry to hear of your husband's health problems. I don't know the nature of what you are facing, but my heart goes out to you. I know firsthand how stressful it is to sit by and watch someone you love go through a medical struggle, as my husband is now in his 5th week in the hospital. It is so scary, but you're right that dressing well can help you feel a little better and in control of what is largely an uncontrollable situation. And it does help you feel more put together when dealing with the parade of doctors, specialists, and guests. Being in the hospital is a strangely "social" experience.

Sending you a big hug filled with strength and compassion as you move forward. Feel free to pm me at any time. I'll be thinking of you......

Inge

(website)

Ginny, I have tears in my eyes here. I am so glad that your outfit formulas helped make your days in hospital a little easier, and helped cheer up your husband to boot.
I'm sending positive vibes your way and wish you and your husband all the best. Hang in there, and we are always here if you want to talk or need a bit of distraction.

MsMary

Veteran

Big hugs to you and your sweet husband, Ginny! So happy YLF was able to make it the tiniest bit easier for you!

morethanbeige

Veteran

Ginny, I am sending love and prayers for your husband's recovery. I could relate to your feelings about *dressing* in these kinds of situations, because I have that same feeling. For me, it feels like I am showing up to the deal, fully present to do what I need to do...support, advocate, question, whatever...

Big hugs for you.

cciele

Veteran

Ginny, sending healing thoughts your husband's way. Glad to hear that your outfits have been a source of positive energy instead of stress, for both you and your husband. Hang in there!

Aziraphale

Veteran

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I hope your husband is improving. In the meantime, I'm glad that you are finding some comfort in fashion and YLF. Sending positive thoughts your way.

Anonymous

Ginny, I'm so sorry that you and DH had to go through this. It sounds like you were as prepared as possible with comfortable, cheerful and in-charge outfits to deal with every possible scenario. It never ceases to amaze me how a *frivolous* thing like fashion can give a person so much confidence. I hope your husband improves quickly and that you get your normal back, asap. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

fashionista

Veteran

Oh sorry to hear so much is going on in your life. My hugs with you. May your husband recover sooner than expected.
And its good that you put yourself together before meeting your husband because the way you described, this cheerfulness in you will help your husband smile and help recover sooner. A smile and confidence booster will go a long way.
Best of luck for future.

soobee

Veteran

There's obviously so much more going on here than "frivolity". Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this and many, many HUGS to you and your hubs. Take care of you both

ManidipaM

Veteran

Ginny, wishing you rest and strength, and a quick, uneventful recovery for your husband.

So insightful and thoughtful of you to write out this post. Indeed, a crisis feels less like a crisis when you're in control of yourself in even small ways, or looking like you are still unfazed --- doesn't it? And the obverse, looking like you're in an out-of-control 'crisis' space in your head actually gives people around their cue to believe things are worse, or that you're falling apart on them etc.

So very glad you felt your fashion sense didn't let you down, and far from frivolous, actually made a positive difference in a difficult time.

Hope to see more of you soon, when you're worry-free and feeling much more relaxed and confident of your husband's health.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

How scary! I remember reading something about your husband going for tests awhile back. I'm sending along tons of positive thoughts and good wishes for speedy healing and that everything turns out beautifully from here on out.

I loved your message about how fashion really does have an effect, even in times like these.

Last summer, I had to rush home on an emergency basis due to my Mom experiencing a very serious health event. I didn't really have time to fuss with outfits because I was in Dallas on business. It was go home, throw one suitcase into a corner (only partially unpacked), grab another suitcase and throw some stuff in it and get on the next flight the next morning. As it happened, I had more dressy items than I would normally take with me for a visit with my parents, and ...I totally get what you're saying when you explain that this gives you confidence, and that it *also* gives others confidence in us. My stepdad was pretty nervous and scared, and of course, my Mom was too.

In hindsight (and I know this sounds weird), I feel that being a bit dressed up, and a bit more 'put together' sent a message. The message was that I expected things to go well.

And they did. My Mom is in good shape now, and in better health than ever.

I'm so inspired by your post - I loved reading about how your little bit of extra effort to get dressed in the mornings gave your husband confidence and helped him feel that you're both 'keeping it together."

Best wishes for good health and healing, and I'm looking forward to hearing from you whenever you feel like posting.

Jjsloane

Veteran

Hugs to you and sending healing thoughts to your hubby. What a horrible thing to experience, but you have given us a very thoughtful post which sadly may come in handy for one or more of us. It is great to hear that controlling one thing that you can (your fashion choices) help you conquer those you can't (yours and husband's feelings about situation).

Please keep us posted and keep on feeling fab.

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

Sending lots of love and prayers for your husband, and you, Ginny.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

I'm sending positive thoughts and good wishes to you and your husband.

rachylou

Veteran

Hugs to you Ginny! And a good recovery for your husband. The *little things* count a lot in these situations, they really do.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Hugs to you both! Hope your DH feels better soon. What a great, poignant testimony you wrote. I am sending my prayers your way.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I have been thinking of your post all day Ginny, hoping that wise word may strike but I decided I could be waiting a ....long time for that to happen. I am happy your husband is home where he belongs and having control of your clothing helped amongst all of the uncertainty. Lastly it is great to have you on forum whenever you have the time and the inclination.

Meredith1953

Veteran

Ginny,
I am so sorry that you and your husband are dealing with such a crisis. Your post was insightful You make an excellent point about how looking put together helps people believe that you are handing things well and I am sure this was comforting to your husband. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.

Tanya

Veteran

So sorry to hear about your husband. Sending you hugs and positive energy.

Jonesy

Veteran

Ginny, I am so sorry you are going through this! I completely get how what we wear can help us to feel "human" and in control somehow. I will be thinking about you and hoping for the best.

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