What a great conversation. Thanks for starting it, Sarah, and entertaining it, Lisa and Roxanna!

LaPed said: "One person's flash-in-the-pan is another person's essential HEWI?" I think that encapsulates my attitude. It's also related to what Rachy said: "There’s a question of whether or not you’re responsive to the present or bespelled by a dream of the past. You can put on the same 40-yr-old dress and be one or the other somehow."

It's all about personal style. Some people, as they age, really do look best in the so-called timeless classics. They would look (and feel) silly in the bright, fun, highly visible clothes that Roberta's now enjoying. Others would feel and look downright dowdy if they didn't inject more trends and/ or colour into their style.

Like Roberta, I dressed in a way that aged me when I was in my 20s. Purposely, at least in part. I looked very young for my age and wanted to be taken seriously. So I've added more stereotypically "youthful" or playful elements as I've got older. And that feels right to me. I love the look of timeless elegance -- but it's not my look.

And I fully agree with Brooklyn, here: "I take the Angie view that trends are just a smorgasbord, and you can take (or not take) whatever you want. But if you maintain an interest in what’s happening you can get ideas to evolve your own style. Personally, I don’t want to dress the same way forever, although there will certainly be some continuing themes that are expressed in terms of favourite silhouette, colours, patterns, vibe etc. Although I do keep some items in my wardrobe for a long time, I am constantly on the lookout for different ways to wear them. I enjoy variety and the challenge of outfit creation. That’s what interests me. Keeping up with trends is a means to an end, rather than an end in itself."

With my silver hair I have to be quite careful to not look frumpy. I mostly only shop 2nd hand so no real trendy items for me. I still look at shopping websites, but more like window shopping. This, along with the forum, keeps me abreast of trends and I do still give a nod to a trend I like. I would wear a trend a 2nd time around if it fitted in with what I like today. For example I did not particularly like wide leg jeans in the late 90s/early 00s, but that was all that was available in retail and I felt a pressure to be trendy in my late 20s. Now I do not want or own any. I do have wide leg cotton and linen pants because I really like them. But for jeans I prefer straights. I find I manage to stay out of frump territory with my jewellery. An edgy choker, statement rings, edgy cuffs. I have decided florals do not do me any favours in this regard, especially ditsy prints. I have donated a few items and definitely will not buy any more in the future. I definitely think that dressing with visible intention, trendy or not, counteracts the fuddy-duddy vibe. Oh and eyebrows ;).

Don’t get me started on eyebrows . Lol.

I could have written what Star said. I love my silver hair and am committed to keeping it (I am trying to teach my daughter, and model for other women, that by wearing your hair silver we can neutralize the ageist patriarchal idea that white hair somehow makes women invisible.)

BUT this means that I have to be careful about other things. Eyebrows - yes. I love florals but again - I have to be careful not to look too golden girl. I love floaty, oversized clothing but that can veer into Coastal Grandma. I love vintage and quality but that can look staid and dowdy.

This is something I didn't really struggle with before and I'm not sure why it's hitting me so much now - but I really am trying to fight looking too 'old'. I'm not even sure what that means, since I actually love being my age and everything that comes with midlife. Who cares if I look too 'old'? I suspect it's more my hangups than what others perceive.

I have dresses I love that I almost can’t remember when I bought them. I occasionally bring in something new, but most of my clothing is consistent. I had no interest in Barbie pink as I find it too bright for me, but I recently found a grayer version in a shirt that looked great on me so I added it to my wardrobe. Probably my only pink item. I need feet like me. And I can’t wear a lot of materials so that also limits my choices. I am not a trendy dresser but occasionally a trend fits my style.

I think it's tough sometimes to accept the reality of how certain choices (to be current or classic or even dated, to go grey or not) might affect how we are perceived and treated. It's not "right" that by dressing decently I get better treatment out in the world, which helps me maintain good mental health (and in turn treat others better). It was that realization that got me interested in style over 10 years ago. And frankly it was a bit of a hard pill to swallow, that led to some negativity on the forum if I'm being honest with myself. Long time ago now but I do apologize for that.

Fast forward all these years, I have more disposable income and I enjoy spending it on clothes. I love keeping up with trends and am helped along by both youlookfab and two teenage daughters. I pick and choose which ones I adopt. It's especially fun right now because I love a lot of the current vibe, and care a lot less about flattery than I used to (which is in itself an adoption of one current mindset). Working in technology I also have career reasons to want to look current, lest I be thought of as a 'legacy" person who needs to be phased out along with legacy technologies. I make a conscious decision to focus on looking current rather than worrying about looking my age because there's nothing wrong with my age (or my weight). Will I still be this interested in 10 years? Remains to be seen.

@Jules that's a good way to put it. I want to look my age (not younger), but I want to look current and not like I've been frozen in one style for years.

I was just going to chime in with a version of Roxanna’s comment ….in that , for me anyways , my environmental norm ( who I work with and see everyday ) plays a big role in how I want to dress and be perceived . I’m the oldest at work and don’t want my age to be connected in any way with how I dress , too. But in social situations - that same pressure to choose clothes carefully doesn’t exist for me .

Interesting thread I have been mulling over. There's no one right way to age either externally or internally - I don't mind saying I am middle aged but I have friends who almost shudder at the thought.

I prefer to wear outfits that mix classic and trendy - or have some elements of modernity in them. Ten years ago I loved retro on me but I don't as much now. I also am liking boho a bit less than I used to- I still like the 1970s look but more in a "nod to" rather than as a faithful rendition.

I can be very loyal to looks when I really love them - and to pieces even when I rarely wear them. I am very conscious of wanting to wear out my clothes - or hand them on when in good condition and still desirable. I do have to balance this loving for longevity with wanting to look current.

This is an interesting thread, so I’ll throw another angle into the mix:

Maybe the currency of aging comes from finally having the confidence to let my own inclinations and whims supersede whatever is dictated by external audiences or particular roles. Fashion is fun at 74 because I’m game to try on almost anything—BUT what makes it into my closet has to make me smile.

This summer my wardrobe workhorses have been a melding of tried-and-true and surprises. I’m happily wearing cargo shorts, sleeveless shirts, and dresses again after a decade of banishing them from my closet. Color and prints are the new exiles since I’ve happily adopted a stark palette of structured black and white tops/bottoms/structured shift dresses. The structured/tailored/ monochromatic look seems to suit my personality and mood these days and, amusingly, reminds me of how I liked to dress back in the late 60s and then again in the early 90s. My haircut is also an updated, messier version of the structured bob I wore back then, only now in charcoal grey instead of dark brown.

My 35 year-old camel duffle coat will be making its reappearance this Fall after seeing some of the 2023 runway shows. I wore out my first duffle coat in the 70s, bought a replacement in the early 90s and hung on to that coat ever since because I love it. I’m also planning to haul out my 80s vintage Coach saddle leather bag to wear with my tall brown boots and turtleneck sweaters. Pretty much what I wore in my twenties and thirties, then in my fifties, and now in my seventies. Current, maybe, but I figure after five decades I can say I own that look.

So many juicy thoughts! And so many good comments that I haven’t digested yet! (And notice most of my metaphors are food-centric!!)

Briefly - I like Sarah’s push-back that fashion isn’t just/only trendy vs. classic.

Gaylene, I love that idea of circling back to certain eras and items. I no longer own anything from previous eras -- either my size changed or it got moths! But I definitely gravitate to the same kinds of pieces when they become available at retail -- certain silhouettes, patterns, textures.

I also enjoy circling back to certain styles, colors, fabrics… and don’t really buy into the “if you wore it first time around” edict, because yes, it is all about HOW you wear it.

I think back to some of my favorite things from my teens — a pair of wide leg jeans with seaming down the front, a pair of platform sandals, a burgundy velvet top/jacket — and think I’d absolutely wear those same items now! But of course they’d be differently styled on 58yo me than 18yo me.

I LOL at the comments about toddler style — I enjoy seeing everyone’s bright and happy colors, but you know what? Even as a child I liked moody colors. My Barbies got to wear pink and purple together, but I favored deep red, cobalt blue, and emerald green. Seems like even as a child, I had selected my palette!

Thank you again all for such a fascinating discussion! I was out on a hike with my family most of yesterday so I apologize for my inability to keep up and reply individually. But just a couple of things that have struck me, reading through the thread:

JenniNZ the tension between "I prefer what I prefer and in many cases I prefer it because it suits me/my body type" and the ever-changing nature of fashion is very familiar to me!

Brooklyn this "I don’t want to dress the same way forever, although there will certainly be some continuing themes that are expressed in terms of favourite silhouette, colours, patterns, vibe etc. Although I do keep some items in my wardrobe for a long time, I am constantly on the lookout for different ways to wear them." -- is a really good articulation of what I aspire to!

Janet as a journalist I'm intrigued by your use of the term "evergreen" styles. Now I'm thinking the question "what is the news hook of this outfit?" (or capsule or seasonal theme or...) might be a really fun way to think about keeping things current.

Oh and your comment below about the "second time around' styles -- yeah, to a certain degree we have to be willing to entertain those repeat trends, because there are only so many clothing shapes/styles that exist. There really is nothing new under the sun!

Roxana (and Jaime and Star), yeah the commitment to secondhand adds another layer of complexity to the question of keeping current, doesn't it? (But sometimes a fun challenge!)

Gaylene very inspiring to hear how styles and indeed individual pieces have come back around for you!

People tell me that I should wear more purple and pastels because of my white hair. I disagree. Those are awful on me unless carefully mixed. Irefuse to wear ditsy florals although big florals are seeping into my wardrobe when they are wide spread and show lots of background.
I also dressed to age myself as I looked too young for many years. It is a hard habit to break. I do not want to look like a fifth or sixth grader although the size is often good.

Oh I am wearing many 90s things second time around! Give me all the docs, Birks, cargo pants and natural coloured linen. Also mid 2000s chocolate brown and 80s oversized blazers with shoulder pads. Things I am NOT doing are the things that didn’t suit me to begin with (sweats!) or don’t suit me anymore (fitted ribbed tops!). I’m not doing the small on top with big cargo pants silhouette because I’m simply not small on top anymore and would need some mighty big pants to get the effect, lol! But that oversized blazer in light neutral linen with the cargos? Yes!

I love that some of my youthful favourite styles are back! That’s a big reason it’s all so fun for me right now.

I don't hop on a lot of trends. When I was growing up I always did my own thing, or picked up on a trend when it was kind of too late.

Although I enjoy a lot of trends, I still don't do many. But what I DO do to stay current is stop wearing anything that anyone would be painfully aware is over--skinny jeggings, cocoon sweaters (well, maybe at home).

Joy yes I relate to that history of looking young for one's age. I still have dressing habits that are aimed at de-emphasizing that. I should probably revisit those habits given the looming milestone birthday, but I do think that ingenue or twee looks read as juvenile on me, and overly classic styles make me look (well, they definitely make me feel) like I'm dressing up in a grownup's clothes. Fine line to walk!

Jules the joy and playfulness comes through in your post! Milk those 90s styles for as long as you enjoy wearing them!

Carol, interesting observations! I confess I was not aware that cocoon sweaters had ever been a prominent enough trend that they would be universally recognized as "over." (I love them -- great 20s/30s integrity, one of my favorite fashion eras -- and actually wish there were more available at secondhand.) Skinnies on the other hand -- oh yes, I'm well aware that the fashion world has moved on. But that's a good example of a past trend that I continue to wear because I feel that it suits my body, as well as being very practical for my climate. Oh well! I'm curious if there are any such trends that you've given up reluctantly.

Such an interesting question! So of course, I avoided even reading it for awhile.

Here's the only thing I can add, both because of the good answers already but also because I almost feel like I've given up on this question. As I've said before, my quest with fashion was always to not be wrong. And then when I finally realized and owned up to that, my "giving up" was in giving up on the idea that there is "right".

If there is one thing I've learned from you all and from being on this board it's that's it is all opinion. Someone will post something and no matter what it looks like, lots of people will like it and some won't. If I don't like something I usually don't say so because that's not helpful. People are allowed to like what they like. And that means whatever I wear, someone will like it and someone will think I look awful. (And, that includes eyebrows!) As a life-long people pleaser I'm trying hard to get over this and just make myself happy. If there is no right, then no one gets to say what is wrong. I wish I had realized this decades earlier, but I guess that is my "currency of aging."

Peri, I'm nodding along with everything you wrote. Thank you so much for articulating this so beautifully.

Peri, I think you’re right.

One thing I think helps with “ currency” is being able or willing to try new things on— not profligate wardrobe turnover, but some things that by definition will be “ new” . But then use your own mirror- test about who you like it or not.

I also get confused about trend vs current. I do understand that lots of wacky things or very specific things, this very shoe, that purse, this color) can be in “ just a trend” category. And current might be a trend that’s still going after 2-3 years.

What I hear most is, I don’t follow trends but I do stay current” . So most often “ trend” is a bad word though some folks embrace that word and I really am not sure how different they are. Hmmm. So I’m surprised at how many people say they don’t follow trends but certainly seem to be wearing them. Unless the “ bad trendy” just refers to doing nothing BUT trends, & I’m not sure that’s even possible.

Again, not a criticism, I like reading all of it, but am sometimes perplexed. I also have a definite streak of, “ I like this outfit but I wish I knew how it ranked on the fash- o- meter. But I hate feeling like I need validation. So there’s a tension there. I don’t actually agree with many of the yay yay comments on outfits here. Partly because I can’t tell if the poster is saying, I want to look a certain way, is this it? Vs, I love this , and comments are supporting the “ it’s all good” philosophy. Plus, I just think most photos aren’t good enough to evaluate things as well as we can do IRL.

So that’s also where the STYLE vs fashion idea helps me, because somehow I can understand that I can have style independently, whereas, I’m pretty sure I am not very good at knowing whether I am even current.
( The internet is funny regarding images, Pinterest, style blog’s because it covers so many years; I’ll see an outf and ho, YES! I want to look like that! And it’ll be from 5 or 10 years ago.)

And also I know that I’ll sometimes wear an outfit that I THINK I like, but then later go, hmm, that didn’t quite hit the mark even though I thought it had all the elements. So I have to also let myself off the hook for “ always dressing in my personal style”. What’s true is, well, that’s ME in the CLOTHES, so at some level it is my personal style at that moment! And I can relax and another time try a different tweak, or make an edit/ buy list decision.

I’ve read and reread the question and all the various responses, and had a big think. I’m 60+ and definitely interested in trends. I consume a lot of content in order to sift through the ideas and figure out what style trends would serve me best, however. Firstly, I want to feel good (comfortable, practical, and appropriate for the activities I’m doing at any given time, with a little something extra that will bring me joy), and secondly, I want to communicate something about me to anyone who cares to ‘see’ me. (I think young’uns call it their ‘brand’.) So what’s my brand?

Runcarla -that last paragraph, so well said. And so true for me as well.

I’m always so confused by the terminology on the forum.

@ Irina - styling ‘older’ clothes in trendy ways, means taking garments that are not cut or designed with a trend in mind, but experimenting with how the garment is worn so that there is a nod towards trending silouhettes or gimmicks (for lack of a better word!)

For example, when jeans were being sold with raw hems, I just cut the hem off a pair I already had, and voila! Same with extra deep hems. I used my regular ‘basic’ jeans and rolled a deep 6 inch hem.

RunCarla, well done, you wear tucked tops with high waisted bottoms well. And this is the trend at the moment. High waisted bottoms don’t look trendy on me since the top part is concealed by a top and it could be any rise.

Peri, that’s so wonderful! Thank you!
I remember when you had that insight- I would have to look at old posts to find where that was.
I agree that it is all opinion, and how this could help me would be to not get upset when someone suggests what I am wearing is dated, because that’s only an opinion not necessarily more correct than my choice to march to the beat of my own sartorial drum.
I don’t want to bother with Runcarla’s idea really, although I do a little bit by bringing back out the sentimental items when they seem more likely to be trending- such as my 1988 Thai silk blouse.

I confess I had absolutely no idea what was trending/on trend/current until I joined YLF. Absolutely no clue. I don't run with a style conscious crowd, and that goes for professional peers as well. Rather, they might be consider anti-fashion so I stand out and get a lot of comments. Shrug. But at 70 y.o. I wear what I like. This includes toddler clothes like my two pairs of overalls. But I haven't mustered the nerve to wear my 55 y.o. shortalls cut off from men's farmer johns -- but I've held onto them for that long.

My attitude is: Face it. At 70 y.o., nobody expects me to look like much of anything. Where I work one day per week they need me more than I need them. So if they don't like what I wear I can walk away. I no longer wear the attorney costume I used to wear when I was first starting out and wanted to be taken *seriously* but I still dress mostly appropriately if one considers mad pattern mixing to be appropriate.

An acquaintance mentioned recently that I'd said I dressed to blend in and fit in while my daughter still lived at home and after DD left for college my style completely changed. Which is totally true. I colored my hair because I was an older mom, and I know that parents can totally embarrass their teens. I didn't feel it was much of a sacrifice.

Peri -- hear, hear! Nodding along with Helena and saying yes to everything you wrote.

unfrumped, I relate to a lot of the tensions you articulate in your post too. Maybe looking intentional is about marching to the beat of one's own drum -- the operative word being "marching," as opposed to, you know, standing stock-still to the beat of one's own drum.

Runcarla, you're definitely someone I look to as inspiration when it comes to styling existing pieces in new ways! Thanks for breaking it down for me and Irina.

JenniNZ that's a great strategy, to bring things back out when they come round again. Fantastic blouse -- that bright pink really loves you. Look, you're doing Barbiecore!

DonnaF "At 70 y.o., nobody expects me to look like much of anything." -- and yet. You have a distinctive and really wonderful style. Real failure of imagination on the part of those nobodies!

Donna: I still dress mostly appropriately if one considers mad pattern mixing to be appropriate.

Hear hear -- I love it and you made me laugh!

I'm 60+, enjoying trends, happy to ignore the ones that don't suit me or my lifestyle or don't feel workable to me, and happy to embrace those that do. And so glad to have the freedom and opportunity to play, as Carla and kkards said.

All these comments have been so interesting and rich -- what a great thread. Thanks, Sarah, and all who commented.