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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

That perfect piece you leave behind

Irina

Veteran

Let’s imagine you found a garment in a store. It fits you well, works with your color palette and looks great on you. Oh, it also meets all the functionality requirements you might have and the price is acceptable. What would make you to leave it behind? What questions do you ask yourself?
For me it would be a fabric content. I would leave behind a polyester top that fooled me into thinking it is silk. Or an acrylic mix sweater that pretends to be cotton.
Or if I already have a very similar item at home.
But what else? As my wardrobe grew considerably in the last couple of years, I’m trying to be more selective now.
What else I should be asking myself?
Sorry, if this was already discussed at some point. In that case, please post a link to the old thread.

Shopping

33 replies

Latest reply was from Sally

Helena

Veteran

This is a great question Irina! Hmm, I agree with you on fabric ... I need fabrics that breathe on top, or else I end up a sweaty mess.

I will often leave something behind too if I don't believe I need it ... like if it's the perfect sweater that works for my lifestyle, etc., but I know I already have enough passable sweaters for the season, I am inclined to leave it. I actually need to be better at not leaving it in those circumstances!

I guess my big question is, do I really see myself getting lots of use out of it. If not, 9 times out of 10, I leave it behind.

Carla

Veteran

I use provenance as a filter even before I try an item on. I can get excited about an item when I learn it was made in Canada. I’m not perfect though ‘cause online often just says ‘imported’. My last acquisition was a pair of pants (thrifted!) that were made in Canada, and now I’m looking at Tristan as a brand.

celia

Veteran

I don't think I am the best person to talk about this but I will leave my lazy approach to not buying.
Usually if it's dry clean only or if it feels weird to the touch I will leave it behind.
I like to take my time looking at items before buying them so I 'miss' items because they don't have my number anymore or because it's a store like winners where there is the one item and when it's gone it's gone.

Preppy Pear

Veteran

Hmm…what you and what Helena said, if I already have enough of that item, unless it’s a big improvement on what I already have. I have a big FOMO that I’m working on, though!

Oh, I thought of something- return policy. If I can’t return it after trying it on at home away from store lighting and mirrors, it’s a no-go.

LaPed

Veteran

The tactile factor/fabric content is a big one for me as well. Fussy care requirements too. I pretty much don't buy animal fiber knits at retail these days because I'm not willing to roll the dice on pilling; I stick to thrift store sweaters that have already been put through their paces. Weird chemical smells are a turn-off too. I've returned a few items over the past year that refused to air out.

I'm trying to get better about picking out small design details that will bother me in the long run: too small or oddly placed pockets, finicky zippers, poorly attached buttons, loose knits that look like they will snag easily, necklines that are just too wide or just too tight...

I definitely don't need any more clothes for my current lifestyle. Barring a move or a job change, I'll be able to get on fine for years with what I have. If I buy something, it needs to have a clearly defined purpose or be something that I love unequivocally. If it meets both criteria, all the better!

nemosmom

Veteran

oooh this is a great question! Nodding along with others, I will add a couple:
Do I have to buy another piece to make this work, or will it seamlessly slip into my existing wardrobe?

And, if I buy this today, how soon can I wear it? If I am looking out TOO far ahead, or if I need a specific reason to wear it, I might pause...

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Irina, you are full of fab questions and musings!

I tackle questions about these points:

Colour
Fabric
Quality
Fit
Sustainability
Need
Emotion
Does it work with what I have?

Is it worth the price, and is it within my budget?

New items need to earn their place in my wardrobe. Some items get more drilled than others - like shoes.

rachylou

Veteran

Weird chemical smells definitely. But tbh, the only truly perfect thing I ever left behind was because of a ridiculous sales person… I will not be out-snobbed, lol.

Irina

Veteran

Angie, I find that I ask similar questions but hesitant when it comes to Need and Emotions. When it comes to need, I’m at the point that there is no serious need, I have enough clothes to survive a number of years without shopping. Probably, with only one exception - shoes, I’m hard on them and need to replace often.
So, would emotions outweigh the need if all other requirements are met?

Am I going too deep?

slim cat

Veteran

I've found a dress recently that was pretty, perfect fabrication, nice shape and color, good price. I left it behind for the two reasons :
- the soft belt was shifting all the time and needed some kind of magic trick to stay in right place ;
- dresses are rarely worn in my wardrobe since I prefer separates - strong chance I won't reach for it more that ones or twice.
The fussiness of the belt was probably the deciding factor.

Anonymous

Out snobbed = rachylou for the comment of the day .

I’ve left many a perfect piece behind from simply not needing it . Or it being too similar to something I already have . Agreeing with the comment already posted re having to buy something else to make it work .

Helena

Veteran

Omg Rachy ... totally there on the snob comment lol! A salesperson was dismissive of my sister in an Esprit once, in high school, and I didn't start shopping there again until I was in my early 30s lol!

nemosmom

Veteran

Rachy wins!

Jonesy

Veteran

It's weird: Since I almost never shop at a real store (I am buying almost exclusively online now), I don't have this experience! I am very picky about what I keep, though, based on all of the usual criteria (fit, quality, uniqueness, fills a gap, beauty, etc.).

cat2

Veteran

If it’s not readily visually distinguishable from what I already have. For example, I always have a few crisp white cotton poplin tops, but won’t bring home another if I already have one in a similar cut.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I’m pleased with myself for leaving a dress behind today. It was half cotton, half silk. A fully-lined gentle shift, loosely fitting in a way people on YLF would cheer about. It was cream-colored with a large sort of wispy/conceptual orchid in a shade of brown I don’t usually see that might work for me on its own, and could certainly be combined with a couple lilac/berry things in my closet.
It was several sizes too big, so bringing it down to size would require someone who understood how it was intended to flow. Seeing as the place selling it was advertising that they do alterations, I thought they could figure it out. The killer was that the original price was 50€. The fact that it was marked down to 19 didn’t bother me; that happens towards the end of the season. But if it started that low, I assume the silk and cotton came from the cheapest sort available, with no attention to environmental effects, health and safety of workers, or anything else. I have so many things to wear already; I couldn’t see getting good vibes when I put the dress on.

I’m surprised at comments about leaving behind a “perfect” item because of fabric or other comfort issues. To me, those imperfections are huge strikes against a thing and would not lead to that wistful walking-away-from-a-good-thing feeling.

Anonymous

The SAs attitude kept me from getting a sweater. She said, “you can’t afford this sweater.” I was shocked. Most of the questions you ask yourself would be those I would ask. If I already have something similar, I might ask if this piece would be an upgrade that should be made.

Sloper

Veteran

Probably if it's a duplication I'd get strict with myself and talk myself out of it. Maybe.

Sal

Veteran

Either just no real need or duplication or sometimes uncertainty. If I am unsure to me this is a reason to wait 24 hours and reconsider. Mostly I move on, a few times I have gone back and purchased (usually I phone up) and once I think I missed out.

DonnaF

Veteran

Like Jonesy, I rarely shop at bricks’n’mortar stores. I have a few sweaters on order from NAS with mysterious fabrication elements so if all else works I will have to research them. I will not buy DCO items; same goes for acrylic and heavily acrylic items.

I have a few, uh well more than a few pairs of NAS/sale footwear arriving within the next week. I have feet that are hard to fit comfortably plus I have a major case of FOMO. Technically, I really don’t NEED any of them at this very instant, so the question will be how much use would I get from any pair that actually fits and particularly whether it will improve the look of an outfit over another pair of footwear I already own.

Anonymous

For me it's generally not needing it/low PUPY value/priority. Or if at the higher end "is this worth the _# of hours I had to work for it?"
Fabric content too- does it itch (ahem pretty alpaca sweater) or how much care does it need?

Brooklyn

Veteran

I tend to rule something out that works in terms of fit, flattery and price because of fabric content (this happens often), comfort, duplication (unless I want to stock on something in preparation for the inevitable drought years eg teal), low quality, suspect provenance, low utility.

For non-essentials, I’m aiming to reduce wardrobe churn, so what I ask myself is:
* how unique is it? Is it a thing of beauty that I love and that I’m unlikely to find again.
* how timeless/trend proof is it? Is it a very “now” look or can I potentially enjoy it for years to come? Are there aspects to the garment that are likely to date it or make me tire of it?

Irina

Veteran

Certainly, food for thought. I’m going to re-read this thread again and use some of your questions to make a decision about a couple of new and returnable sweaters I consider.
Thank you!

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Fabric content or care are the big ones that cause me to leave things

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Fabric content and re-sale value are my main filters. I am never quite sure about something until I try it on at home, so I need to know I can re-coup my investment (most of my shopping is thrift so non-returnable).

Bijou

Veteran

The main reason is because I don't need it - I already have something (or more than one) that meets that need.

JAileen

Veteran

Why I would leave something behind:
1. It’s a duplicate of something I already have.
2. The fabric content is bad - all polyester. for example - it’s not perfect after all.
3. Care is wrong - dry clean only, for example - it’s not perfect after all.
4. Price is too high - it’s not perfect after all.
5. It doesn’t fit in my very casual life - it’s not perfect after all.

nuancedream

Veteran

I have walked away from many "perfect" items simply because, like Bijou, I already have a similar item that meets the need. Those items tend to be statement pieces or hero pieces. I have to mightily resist my tendency to be attracted to pieces that don't always work well with what's already in my wardrobe.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Irina, to answer your question about NEED and EMOTION.

It depends how you determine need. If you enjoy fashion and dressing, then your "needs" are greater than of those who don't. You only live once. If not now - when?

Personally, I am a very emotional person, but my discipline and the need for balance tempers the emotion. So I ask myself - how much do I love this item? I let my heart guide my head, and ultimately follow my feelings. Hence Organized Emotional Shopping.

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