You will not get feedback on Pinterest . That is not how it functions . I could recommend going back into the archives here and reading what Angie was written about how to develop a style , and how to edit a closet to work toward your goals . It's my feeling that you are anticipating the forum will look at pictures of all of your clothes and help you determine what your look is. You're the only one that can make that determination . Once you've figured out who you want to be ( figuratively ) , we can then help you decide if your clothes are helping you convey that message . It is my opinion that your expectations here are exceeding what is realistic ....but , that's just me picking up on the frustration that is coming through in words . You can look at the forum and read through other posts to see how it's used , and how we interact with each other . You'll get a better feel for what is realistic . And on that note , I'm off to enjoy the rest of this lovely long weekend and to read up on new fall fashion

LisaP, have a great weekend!
I've been reading through the archives, mostly exactly that section, for a couple weeks now. Why do you think people seem not to recognize the defining a style step and want to jump ahead? My guess is that I have been posting too fast, always posting what I'm just figuring out, instead of posting each step as I put it behind me and move to the next one. Thing is, many of the next steps I've taken have been prompted by responses I've gotten. On this post, for example, responding to pressure to start tossing things now has led me to clarify where I am in the process, both on here as well as in my own head. Or maybe the head-scratching analysis part is just not as much fun for most people.

I don't want to answer on behalf of anyone else. To your first question : I don't understand the concept of wanting style to be defined by someone else. It belongs to the wearer/beholder. It can be helped and refined by the influence of other people , but not defined. It's not authentic nor organic if left to be figured out and defined by others. To the second question : probably as many people enjoy head-scratching analysis as not.

Of the shirts worn I think three have potential

Pic 4 - nice cut on you, good colour
Pic 6 - light blue, good colour on you, classic style
Pic 11 - like the cuffs and a good basic shirt

Some of these shirts look too short for tucking and some look too large (due to your weight loss).

I do think the shorter ones would struggle to stay tucked and look a little conservative untucked.

I doubt you would need more than 5 shirts (probably less given your lifestyle and location now) so I think you could halve the number easily. Of course I am in NZ and we typically have smaller wardrobes than people in the US (and smaller houses and cars and fridges and washing machines!!).

Keep in mind I do not own any conventional button downs or shirts ( I have two hybrid pieces) but in my mind I like shirts:

1) Tucked in with pants/jeans/skirt (can be tailored or loose fitting)
2) Worn loose with shorts or capri pants or jeans (I think loose fitting is more current/modern - and boxy shapes seem to be the most modern)

But how do you like to wear them and where do you envisage wearing them?

I would add that from how I have heard you describe your style these shirts don't seem a perfect fit for you although you could wear them in a more RATE way. I did see some wonderful photos of the wedding weekend where you looked so happy, stylish, modern, casual.

People are "jumping ahead" as you call it because what you're doing here -- posting pictures of individual items and asking for feedback on them, is what people do when they're trying to clean out their closets and get rid of items that no longer serve them.
Also, it seems that many of the items you're posting are things you've had packed away for a while, aren't wearing, and don't fit your lifestyle. Again, those are generally the things people are consider culling. Therefore, people have responded to you as if you're cleaning out your closets.

Thanks!
I do want people's input as I define my style (which is not the same as asking someone to do it for me), but it makes total sense that showing just one section gives a different message. I appreciate everyone helping me out as I stumble through figuring this process out.

Hi Fashiontern --

Waving to you after crossing paths on one of the "going grey" threads.

[Still laughing about your bathing cap comment...now I can't unsee that when I have my hair up, haha!]

Ok. Wow. You've given us a lot of visuals and words to process here and in other threads...not sure I've read them all, but enough to know your current lifestyle. Sounds like you're processing a lot more than us, too!

As someone who had to train herself to be visually analytical AND as someone who had to figure out a personal style mid-30s and is now navigating mid-life shifts, I'm here to say strides in both areas can be made.

BUT

There are so, so many great comments upthread re some of your process getting in the way of the results you want. I'm writing the below not as a humblebrag but in case it helps, because I see a lot of my past self in your current sharing.

There were a few very broad-category things that helped me start my style journey (aka learning how to dress myself in a way that expressed what I wanted to express in various situations):

• I didn't have a lot of clothes
• while I'm weirdly sentimental about clothes and culling is tough, I'm someone who feels really overwhelmed with "lots" so it's easier for me to keep below a certain threshold

However, there were broad-category things that made it difficult to start:

• life in limbo (freelancing while job hunting)
• not much money for new clothes
• lack of understanding about which colors, prints/patterns, and silhouettes worked well for me
• guilt over spending time/energy/money on this gradual personal style

Blah blah blah, skipping forward through the years I've had body changes caused by lifestyle and medical issues (the latter requiring additional thought about waistband pressure etc) and I've had job changes and I've had travel-to-different climate changes.

If I could say 2 interrelated things, they'd be:

1) A strong core will serve you well. Basics really are the spine of your wardrobe, especially when experimenting or shifting size. When you're starting out get the core right for how you live your life TODAY and how you want to feel RIGHT NOW.

• Keep it small! You can always add to it but you need to live in the new

  (or new-to-you via resale, thrift, friends) clothes. Then see how older wardrobe items work with the new stuff.

• This is probably my bias showing, but: just skip the closet whatever for now. It's a time waster IMO. *
• Instead: go make 10 outfits you can wear for your current life using what's in your closet. Note how they make you feel. If you wish you had A or B to make the outfit feel more you, note that!

2) Learn your most flattering colors--and learn how to combine them. It'll go a long way to drawing attention from any style slumps and style experimentation gone awry.

Did I mention I too write long posts?

* The colors aren't making you glow, the fit is off, the office stuff isn't really what folks are wearing in a lot of offices these days, and if you have all of these items now you're someone who's going to find culling tough. Move on and circle back.

Not sure what to think of what is happening here. Is it your intention to post pictures of everything in your closet, fashiontern?

In the 7+ years I've been here, I don't think I've ever seen anyone ever use the forum in this way.

Vix, you make me feel like my stumbling is in the right direction. Thanks. I needed that, because I feel like a fool here.

The first part of your post (after you remind me of how ridiculously poorly I saw that pic on my cell phone) sounds very familiar, very similar to where I am right now. And I was just thinking that instead of exhausting us all with the contents of my closet, the best way to have my wardrobe guide me to my style is to try to wear it all. I've seen a lot of references to "wearing your clothes" on here, but am just now catching on to how that's a challenge.

I'm accompanying my kid to "meet the teachers" in a few days, am thinking of a few outfit possibilities, so that will probably be my next post.

And I have a few ideas in my head for these long-sleeves shirts too, including one outfit with a skirt that I've bought and returned several shirts for. But that's for the fall/winter.

Thanks for your comment!

Ok. I'll give this one last shot . ( Gaylene speaks for me , too ) Here is what I would suggest to someone looking at their closet and not knowing what to do with it :
1. Set your goal /target . Do that by determining what you want to project and what " look" you want to emulate . Do you work ? What do you need to project professionally ? You've done that by reading magazines, watching movies , reading blogs , following NYFW , checking out other women etc. For example , I decide that Jennifer Aniston represents my style goal ( example for the sake of illustrating a point ).
2 . You'll look at what JA wears and note the key items : bootcut jeans , blazers, tank tops , cargo pants , wedges , booties , luxe leather bags , gold jewellery , loose and casual hair , and subtle makeup . California Casual .
3. Angie always recommends getting your hair , glasses and makeup up to date before anything . So you book yourself a hair appt , get your eyebrows and makeup current . Use Ms JA's look as your guideline .
4. Look at your underwear drawer . Do you have good quality , flattering and functional undergarments ? If not , go get some .
5. Now for your closet . Pick a category ( jeans , pants , jackets , whatever ) and get to work . Does each piece help you get to your goal ? Does it give you the look you want ? Is it worn and tired and out of date ? Then get rid of it . You have to be ruthless and serious . This is the culling process . You will always be keeping a pic of JA in your head and asking yourself if this jacket ( for example ) is helping you . Read everything you can get your hands on to bring yourself up to date with what is current and modern in fashion. You would follow the same process if you were renovating your kitchen . These mugs ? No, they are chipped and too vintage-y and not what I want for my new ultra -modern kitchen . Out they go .
6. So you're left with a collection of stuff that isn't perfect but it at least helps you move forward with your goal in mind . Every purchase you make going forward should be assessed with your style goal in mind . Some forum members like using style monikers as guidelines and others like using a visual we have in our heads , often based on some well- known figure we admire for her look . Whatever works for you .

That's a really good roadmap, lisap!

This is the blogger Annette in Germany that was featured on YLF whom I really love. You can google her pics back to 2013: http://www.ladyofstyle.com/?m=1

Uncle! Uncle! I promise never to mention "finding my style" in here again.
But still would like comments on outfits and things like pattern mixing

Looking back over the comments, I plan to ditch one of the dark blues, the yellow one (always feel I should keep it because of the monogram, but in truth never wear it, and if I had really liked it, i probably would've gotten more oxfords), #10. The green one and the one with the peplum will probably go also. They apparently show up well in photos here, but irl, I don't see myself wearing them. The green is too short to stay tucked in, and the peplum just looks like it's shouting, and that's no fun.

Wait, why wouldn't you want to talk about finding your style? That's what this whole thing is about, isn't it?

Jenn, I think people are getting upset with me, and it's taking more energy than I have for this task.

I think if I do what Vix said--back off the idea of this as one huge monumental task and just work on shopping my closet, paying attention to the colors that work for me--I can be happy with the results, without delving into the exhausting research project LisaP proposes or putting every item on in one big push.

If I do get a job in my career, I might do a blazers/toppers post. I have some that I think are losers, some good ones, and a bunch in the middle that I'm not sure about.

But in the meantime, if you guys help me out with outfits, that will help me figure out what works and what doesn't.

Well said, Jenn.

Fashiontern, your project (whatever it is about), posts and comments (with ever changing views, and in some cases rather inpolite answers to kind people who are doing their best to help you) are pretty confusing.
You seem to have a large need for attention. Apart from that, it is unclear what you actually want from other forum members. Maybe personal help from professionals would be the best option for you.

Hi again Fashiontern --

Just to clarify, I don't really think a broad "shopping your closet" is a good idea for you. That's more an exercise to keep from shopping out of boredom and/or do a light closet edit.

I'm advising you pull together 10 or so wear-right-now outfits you like so you have something to wear as you ponder and ideally shop for core wardrobe items.

Then I'd encourage you to pack up the remaining items. If I were your friend I'd try to get you to donate them -- a fresh start given your large weight loss and life changes! But put them out of sight at the least.

And hey, as someone who's been actively participating in YLF for a very long time now --

there are always periods when new folks come in and post a ton of threads because they're in the process of trying to figure this out!

Maybe they're not posting pics from their closet but they're posting huge "keep or return" photo threads. My feeling is that people can scroll, or people can engage, for whatever reason.

But of course it's true that the tighter your focus, the easier it tends to be for others to respond.

Wow this has made for some interesting reading on Sunday morning! Lisap's advice (as was many others) above was thoughtful and concise, in fact I will use it as I head into the fall. Also just get rid of anything that doesn't fit. There is no point in keeping it at all. If there was something about an item you liked just save the picture for review later. Not being visual does set you up for a harder time at this and I think people here are happy to help but we also need guidance (where West are you headed?). Truly and I mean this in a kind helpful way, you should look for a personal stylist who can work one on one with you and be your eyes in your closet and shopping. Because while I can like or dislike a photograph, a real live person can see the whole picture.

"Exhausting research project"?? I thought lisap's plan was a thoughtful, concise, very doable, step-by-step plan. It would probably get you on on track in very short order if you actually did it.

I hope you'll get the one-on-one help suggested above to deal with all your issues. Best of luck to you.

No less exhausting than what you are doing now.  It takes time and energy to work through these processes, and it appeared to many of us that you were interested in that.  You've had many offers of help, suggestions and ideas - and it's a shame to see that most of them have either been misunderstood or rejected outright.  I think we must have misunderstood your goals and needs too. You'll find us a caring and polite bunch (for the most part)  and everyone who has written on this thread (and all of your other posts) spent thoughtful time and energy  doing so.  I am not sure why I persevered, but I found it a challenge I was interested in - this explaining of the process of coming into your own with your wardrobe and personal style.  I hope you  will think back about previous comments you have made and realize 1) the suggestion of a defeatist attitude was out of line and inaccurate, and 2) that we actually know what we're talking about.  When you put yourself out here in the big way you have - with many posts a day and lots and lots of pictures of your wardrobe - well, you'll get the expert and experienced advice we thought you were looking for .

I can see that my responses have been confusing, and I apologize for that. As I mentioned earlier, the switchbacks are because I am stumbling through figuring out the process while I try to do it. Please do not take the constant new positions as in indicator of ingratitude. The feedback I've gotten here is challenging, which I appreciate even while I grapple with it.

On the notion of finding style icons in media: we all have different skills, and I'm sure it is difficult for those who are highly visual to grasp that I don't "see" things in masses of images the way they do. For me to figure out someone else's style would be a very long, laborious process, and doing it over and over until I found something I thought I wanted to be mine would take until the end of my days. Many people choose tv shows and movies based on the actors who are in them; I rarely recognize an actor from one project to the next.

I apologize again for overtaxing people here. I do hope that commenters recognize that I do appreciate the feedback I've gotten. Even though I'm slow to process it, I did, for example, come back to JennNZ's advise and post that I've decided to do away with several of these tops. I've done that with many other suggestions and have slowly absorbed other advice as well. I've also heard your advise on how this process works, and decided not to continue in the way I have been going.

Lisap, as I explained earlier, I think the fact that I've lost 40 lbs so far shows that I understand how the weight-loss/body reshaping process goes, and that I will be successful to the end of that process. As for your comments on my life/career goals, you might be right that I won't make it, but settling is simply not something I'm ready to do yet.

Vix, thanks for the clarification.

Muffin, thanks for the tip about keeping photos of things that don't fit
if there's something about the item I like--don't know why I didn't
think of that! Again, this is all very, very new to me.

Thanks again for the comments, everyone. This is a very supportive community that I would like to be a part of.

Cross-post

Hi again, Fashiontern --

I have to say it's kind of surprising to me how this thread has twisted and turned.

Of course there's lots of great advice, but there are also inaccuracies -- over the years there have been many "what's my style persona?" "help with style descriptor" threads and IIRC most have met with enthusiastic response.* [The YLF search isn't bringing them up for some reason but The Google does...just include the forum URL.]

Change is a process which involves resistance and relapse. I sure know I am not the only moniker whose posts will demonstrate that.

I actually popped back to link to this thread -- you may have already seen it -- but it's one of my favs:

https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....l-me-yours

* outfit photos vs item photos do make this easier. an item worn by 5 different members can skew 5 different ways!

I made no comment on your life /career goals ; in fact , I have no idea what they are . Perhaps it was someone else you are thinking about . I also don't believe in " settling " unless it's your own time to do so , and did not suggest that at all. Understanding written conversation can be difficult between people who don't know each other . I'm sorry that communication on this lengthy thread has been so fraught with error and frustration all the way around - and I sincerely hope you can find what you need somewhere .

Oh, I hope you will keep posting, fashionintern! You are doing a whole-wardrobe eval, a project of scale that we haven't tackled here on YLF in awhile. It's so illuminating when people do this. I always personally grow a lot.

I also think I'm starting to get a handle on what you mean when you say you aren't visual. And if you aren't visual, this is a hard mountain to climb. Even painful. Like when you commented on my NAS thread about my new purple pants and the purple cap I wore to shop in ... well, ahem, the cap is purple and the pants are burgundy ... lol ... Took me back to this time when I called a sweater *green* and my ex corrected me and said, 'THAT is *Aqua*.' (Which was hysterically funny at the time, because he was Mr. Does It Come In Brown?)

So maybe we *should* be describing your clothes to you... what do y'all think?

I think Vix is right that we have to see outfits. Maybe, put on your three favorite outfits for right now* and we can tell you the similarities, if there are any.

*Suggesting you dress for right now is not the same as saying you should give up on your goals. It's a starting point that will lead you to those goals.

Jenn, that's where I think I should go with it too. A different and easier starting point.

Let this thread end peacefully, and try something simpler. I do appreciate all the comments I've gotten here. That you've cared enough not to shrug and walk away says a lot. On my end, I tend to try to say something about a comment rather than just accept quietly, because in my mind, grappling with it shows I'm taking it seriously. I see now that this forum doesn't work that way. Thanks again for your comments and suggestions.

Ok I'm late to this dicussion that took many turns, however, fecund in ideas and cogitations.

I just want to say: Fashiontern, you wear a button down very well! You have such a good figure for it. Not everybody can wear a button down successfully. You say you lost some weight in order to find yourself again: well then good for you because you look awesome here. Wherever your new style direction i going, make sure it includes a button down or two.

I like best 2-5-8-9-10 on you out of the bunch. (2 may need slight alteration because it looks a bit big).

You'll notice I favor more open collars, structure at the shoulders and along the waist. It's just personal view, but find that visually, it looks very good on you. The more open collars convey ease and approachability while remaining professional. With a button down, the frontier between girly and potent can be blurry. Strangely, I find that in the pics where collars are smaller, (like on 4 -6- 11), while still attractive, your image conveys more of a girlish feel. Isn't that strange? Thanks to your lining up your pics as you did, I was able to see this (but maybe it's a subjective view).

You mention feeling happy in 6 and 7 and this is an important indicator to consider. In 6 I see someone who rolled up her sleeves, ready to confront hard work, in full possession of herself. In 7, I see understated, quiet style: no-nonsense shirt with interest along the front panels. So you like to convey hard work and sophistication, yet you don't want to come by as ’’in your face’’.

I have one more idea: have you tried altering how you wear the shirt? For example, you must try the shirts both tucked, then untucked and see what you prefer, what serves you better. It will be a good indicator of your style. Also, some shirts are shorter, which mean they will look good on higher waist bottoms, but less so on lower waist ones. In the past years, fashion has favored lower or mid-waist for slacks, but high waists are now coming back, and you need to decide what waist height is more comfortable and flattering for you.

Give yourself some time before a clearer picture of your style appears in your mind. What you did is awesome - and helpful as a start.

Krishnadoux, thank you for this! What a nice surprise to find such a lovely reflection on a post I buried in ignomy.

I feel like you really get me, both in the image I'd like to project ("hard work and sophistication, yet don't want to come across as 'in your face'") and in why I was such an uncharacteristically indecisive and disagreeable mess (ugh! I'd delete it all, but that doesn't delete people's memories, & just looks childish) when people got right to the business of choosing shirts to toss.

I am sure you are right in saying I need to take some time to figure out where I am going. Your comments about the general direction feel right to me. I like my clothes to be fun, but in more of a "come closer and you'll like what you see" way than in a make-you-grin-from-across-the-room way. I don't want to be about the clothes, want to draw you in with other charms before you notice them.

In terms of material features, you are on the mark: more structure is one thing I've realized I like since starting here. I also welcome the return of higher waists. Even as a much younger 36-26-36 hourglass, I felt I had an apple belly, so the scooping front of low-waisted garments can make me feel uneasy.

The Hilfiger shirt (embroidered front, red tag along placket) could have either a 70s feel or Western vibe. I'm thinking of wearing it with boot cut jeans, the blush booties in my finds, my wide black and white belt with flowers on it, and maybe a statement turquoise necklace. Those things all keep the ambiguity going, and I think it's a much better fit for that shirt than trying to do a prim & proper office look with it. The wide-collared one with darts under the bust might be fun with my schoolgirl skirt if I can find the right topper.

I'm not sure if either of those outfits are exactly what I'll do, but I think I've got the your idea of wearing the shirts in different ways. You're correct that I don't have to do it now, because we aren't moving anywhere for a while.

Thanks for digging up the positive in my knee-jerk responses in this post!

Very beautiful blouses they go you to delight I love a lot