Your post resonated with me hugely, Lisa, because I feel as you do. But first, I just want to say your outfit is smashing. I love seeing your summer look, and how different it can be from the items you choose in winter. Even though you have a more cohesive sense of style than me and you have the knowledge and skill to be more creative, your different seasonal styles make me feel better about my own chameleon tendencies.

I also want to thank you for bravely putting the idea of "letting oneself go" out here. You, and all the commenters, have helped me think about where that concept and body acceptance meet. For me, the crux of things comes down to my own personal idea of dignity. It would take up way too much space to background that here, but I will do so as I explore Angie's summer challenge. In short, I still cling to the idea of decorum dressing after a certain age, and I can't seem to let go of some of the rules.

But let's see if I can. After all, maybe those old rules date me. When it's warmer, I will wear (and post) outfits that expose my bingo wings and crepey skin. I will post pasty legs. I will post a bikini shot if I make it to the beach (summer holiday cancelled after we had to buy a new car). I want to challenge myself, to experiment with how it feels to go sleeveless or stockingless. Then, if I return to my comfort zone afterwards, I will know which of my 'standards' are rooted in lack of body acceptance and which come down to my sense of dignity.

Thank you again for this wise and wonderful thread.

Aliona - I absolutely understand the dignity component of this issue. My mother was very much about that - sometimes to the point where it bugged me to listen to her - but I'd rather maintain that sense of personal dignity than dress purely for comfort. Again, that theme of "letting it all hang out" - no thanks. I like your experimentation idea - that makes a lot of sense to me too. And what a bad bit of luck having to buy a new car right when you had planned a summer vacation . We haven't had a vacation in several years either - one thing or another always gets in the way.

You are beautiful and intelligent and I love your style. I can assure you that getting older does not mean that you are going to lose anything important, it will just make you wiser and more content. I'm 74 and having a great time. I'm healthy, exercise (walk an hour a day, take yoga, etc), travel (actually driving from Banff to Jaspar this summer), have time for friends, and am interested in current styles in fashion. I probably worried too much about aging when I was your age, but now that I have arrived, I've discovered that I have the time and resources to actually do the things I was too busy for when I was young and that's a great thing.

Wait. Bonnie is 74??!! I suddenly feel much, much better about the next 20 years.

Life is good in this circle.

What Viva said. Again.

74????

*applause*

Your outfit and musings are Killer, Lisa. FWIW, you have done me proud in this post. You look as incredible in your signature Summer outfit as you did in that bikini.

There is a soft spot between “letting it all hang out” and self acceptance. The former can feel undignified, disrespectful to yourself, lethargic, and as if you have lost your zest for life. The latter can lead to obsessive comparing and despairing. Both are extreme and lead to unhappiness. The point of the challenge was to find your sweet spot. And it looks like you are well on your way, and you made my day.

Your feelings about aging, body image and self acceptance are complex, Lisa (as they are for many of us, of course). It must have been quite cathartic for you to think through this challenge and organize your feelings. *more applause*.

There is a strong disconnect between our minds and bodies as we age, because our minds feel more alive, wise and confidant than ever, but our bodies start to let us down. My almost 84 year old Papa can’t believe he sees an old man in the mirror or when he looks down at his wrinkled hands, as he puts it, because he feels 30 in his head. Getting older is a weird reality to process - and it doesn’t seem to get less weird as you age. But we can help each other feel comfortable in our aging bodies, and motivate each other to make doable healthy choices while we continue to live our short lives as happily as possible. That’s the point to all of this, and my life's goal as a fashion stylist.

Wow everyone here is so astute, eloquent, brave and honest. I'm loving every bit of it as I think about what I will wear and post as part of this challenge.

I also have to share something I heard a few years ago that really cracked me up......your comment Lisa about "eating days are over" ...made me remember it....it was an interview with actress Kim Cattrall who is just shy of 60 now. The interview was 5 - 10 years ago. The interviewer asked her how she stayed thin and in good shape. Here answer (with a twinkle in her eye) was "..I've been hungry since 1975".

Lisa, what an insightful post. I just turned 58 and you have articulated so much of what I feel.

Thank you for your honest post Lisa, I've enjoyed reading your thoughts and all of the responses. You inspire me.

I hear you Lisa. I'm in somewhat of a mid-life crisis over here too - trying to figure out (again) who I am and how I want to look as I age. I don't lose weight easily like I used to, I have lines, and grey hair, and I do care, and want to look my best, but don't want to look like a kid..... And I'm not willing to make my life about losing weight either

You look wonderful though - love your outfit and your acceptance of who you are in your body.

When I was teaching voice at the Uni, I used the term "sustainable excellence" with my students, and it's carried over into my own life. No one can give 100% to everything all the time, but we can learn to be fabulous in a way that allows us to enjoy all of the journey, and not just the peak moments.

I've never met you, but your still photos hint at a vibrant and energetic woman -- someone who really moves and gets it done! You project an energy that is more of a fountain youth than any potion or surgery could ever deliver --- and you've got beauty to spare!

I love the way your warm weather style brightens. It's still very sophisticated -- very "you," but it reflects the joy of warm days when the winters are long. And no bikini, no problem --- find yourself a great swimsuit that works for you today and hit the beach!

Thought provoking thread. Yes, where is that magic land between acceptance and giving up? My grandmother never gave up until the day she died at 95 and she is, for better or worse, my "taking care of yourself" role model. She proudly the announced the 70th anniversary of her nose job a few years before we celebrated her 70th wedding anniversary (a party she fully orchestrated a few months before she died). And why is it so much easier to accept things we aren't "supposed to" control? I have a scar on my face from an unfortunate meeting with brass knuckles and I rarely give it a thought. The scars from adolescent weight gain tormented me for years - even though hardly anyone sees the latter and the former is right on my face (although not very noticeable I am told). Well I don't know the answer, but that is my overshare for the day.
Angie you have already fulfilled your goal for so many - but I am glad you are not one to rest on your laurels and will keep on doing what you do so well.

After struggling with weight issues for 35 years and gotten to a place I find acceptable, I do give myself a hard time over the things I can / should be able to control, and I do weigh myself every day, and I do exercise a lot. It can be tiring to feel that your body needs constant vigilance to keep it on track. At the same time it's good to recognize your own achievements in other spheres and to always find compassion for yourself. And to be happy for the companionship here and know that you do look great as you are now.

I just read something along the lines of turning 'letting oneself go' into
'letting go' which sounds so much more about the acceptance we would all like to achieve.
Thanks for posting!

Your post resonated deep inside me and I have some olive pants like yours, thanx for the inspiration, love the sandals as well, and of course YLF!!

Great thread Lisa and ladies!!

I will be 59 in September and the changing post-menopausal body I have is still sometimes a stranger to me.

If I didn't LOVE to cook well, and eat what I cook, I could easily be 10 lbs lighter, but that's not going to happen....so, I am at peace with my body (most days). I will continue to exercise, which for me is daily hikes with my dogs and swimming laps at the YMCA when I can.

And of course last evening on my hike, I climbed through a barbed wire fence and got a great big 2-3 inch cut on the front of one knee, so now, all summer long, when I wear knee baring shorts or skirts, I will have this stupid red mark...sigh...

Olive counts as black for summer. You look fab as always, and I don't think the print and blue accents are OTT. Just perfect actually. I appreciate your honesty and understand where you are coming from. I am also prone to self criticism. But, as Lisa said so well, sometimes you have to show yourself some compassion too.

First, you look wonderful in this color and style. Second, my favorite part about getting older, the confidence that comes with it. I wish I had the confidence now, back in my 20s. I would have saved myself a lot of pain and anguish if I did.

Oh I totally hear you on the aging thing - I do NOT have the body I had 5 yrs. ago (not by a long shot) even though I exercise every day, eat right (OK for the most part) etc., I have this flabby belly that I cannot get rid of. I just turned 56 last week and I am having a bit of a hard time with it - now I'm on the downslope headed towards 60! How did I get here so fast? I have no idea.
I accept the age thing because I cannot change it, and I really am just glad to be here (my mother only lived to be 54). The body thing I have trouble accepting because I suppose I could change it, but the older I get the harder that is to do.

And kudos to you for having a bikini body even if it was 5 yrs. ago! I never had one, I have always had belly issues.

BTW, you look fantastic in olive!