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Style shift, kind of: musings

catgirl

Veteran

A few things have coalesced for me recently. First, growing out my hair has made me realize I need to change my colors a bit. I will always love black, but I wear it for work and am heartily sick of it. Grey is less flattering now that my hair isn't as dark.

I'm still RATE, and still a UWP at heart, but I'm honing down the OTT extras - not so much hardware, more of a sharper focus. The best thought I could come up with was that I'm striving for "clean edge". I continue to love androgynous looks and a certain type of strict tailored style like the Classiques long blazer, as long as I can mix it up with my RATE items or some leather, as with the outfit I posted.

Finally, I've resigned myself to two separate wardrobes, one for work and one for casual, with different style goals. For work, my goal is to be comfortable, look presentable, and not have to fuss in the morning over putting outfits together. This has resulted in repeating easy formulas like dresses, jersey pencil skirts with flowy tops, and skinnies/tunics with some go-to footwear. Sadly, some of my old favorites are going unworn (my poor blazers and Equipment silk button-downs!). I'm building a closet full of items with faux structure - riding jackets in stretch fabric, ponte dress trousers - because I don't do well with true structure like crisp wovens.

For casual, I'm trying to get my RATE fix in but still keep it more streamlined. While I deeply admire and constantly pin complex outfits with belts and layers and pattern mixing, I just don't enjoy putting them together for myself. In this area, I am mostly focused on footwear, and otherwise I need to realize I'm fairly basic and be okay with those signature looks.

Mostly, I've realized I'm no longer experimenting and I'm okay with that. Everything I bought at NAS fits a known style template for me - BF jeans, plaid skinnies, leather leggings, slouchy joggers. The teal long blazer is a wildcard but also a HEWI.

I do have a couple of styles in minor key that I indulge now and then - a bit of love for Kate Spade and for flamboyant colorful drama.

If you've waded through this mess of a post, what are your thoughts? Am I all over the place, stuck or expressing signature style? Can I find clean edge AND color? Where do you see room to explore, or is there no need at this point?

TIA - any responses will receive a "Therapy" award!

Dressing

50 replies

Latest reply was from Aida

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Hahaha! That's a nice 'bribe' to get responses Una!

I think what you're trying to achieve makes sense to me. Clean Edge seems like a good style for you. I've never been RATE or even aspired for it. Yet, to you, it comes so naturally. I find your definition of Clean Edge to be something that's edgy yet modern, unique, individualistic yet comfortable.

I think you can totally wear leather and some colour. Wear edgy silhouettes in comfortable fabrics and dramatic patterns. It's very do-able...and it'll become your signature style.

For example, Deborah does lovely RATE with perfect neutrals. She has perfectly manicured nails and a pretty red lipstick and her overall look is so edgy yet so elegant. It's her signature style....and her style is her own even though she puts it as 'RATE'. All of you guys have your own way of doing edgy....like little sub-categories....branches of a bigger tree, perhaps?! (Ok I kind of drifted!)

So your style can be Clean Edge and I think it's a great thought! You know what you like and don't like, you might not be experimenting but you ARE refining your style and streamlining it. And that's called progress in my books!

Word Lily

Veteran

I don't feel like I know you and where you've been well enough to comment on the entirety of your post, but I feel the need to give a shout that there's definitely the possibility for clean edge and color to coincide.

I think I know what you mean, though, at least in part, about not wanting to spend the time to put together the outfits for the style you (used to?) aspire to. (I like to think of myself as boho and artsy, but that's not at all how I dress for the day-to-day. Bracelets get in the way when computing. Sleeves that won't stay up when I push them out of my way to deal with a mess, or accessories that aren't practical? I don't have energy for those things.) It takes a lot of time and energy to put together multi-piece, interesting non-formula outfits, and sometimes I'd rather spend my limited decisions and energy of a day actually making something. On those days I'm attracted to the limited palette, all-uniform, dressing, a la Steve Jobs. (Except in reality I'd be really bored.)

catgirl

Veteran

Thanks, Maneera. I didn't think of it as a bribe, but motivation... Funny, I consider Deborah to be quite polished. She has an edgy style but I don't see RATE. Hopefully she will chime in because I consider her style the polished version of mine!

Word Lily, if I could only find time to sew or knit, I could probably create my own edge with color! BTW I love your knitted top but know next to nothing about knitting so didn't comment.

Word Lily

Veteran

Thanks, Una!

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I'm sure Deborah will chime in tomorrow! Her style is more avant-garde eclectic but still plenty of edge. Maybe RATE would be the wrong term! In any case, my point was that 'Edge' can be interpreted differently by different people. And your version sounds equally fascinating!

Aida

Veteran

Interesting Una! I'm on my phone so I will mull over this and respond more in detail later. But my initial thought is this is more honing rather than shifting, maybe a bit parallel along your continuums. And yes, color can be "edgy".

(I also think of Deborah as ultra polished )

Gaylene

Veteran

I don't know if what you are describing is a shift as much as an evolution. How can our style stay constant when we don't? I also think that, as we accumulate years, we depend less on our clothes to express ourselves to the rest of the world because so much of who we are comes through other non-verbal channels--the way we speak, the way we move, the way we use eye contact, and a host of other subtle cues.

You once mentioned your UWP style was a way to refute a cultural stereotype of a small, meek woman. I'd suggest that you'd never be able to fit into that stereotype now, even if you tried your utmost to dress the part. The UWP vibe that is at the core of your personality comes through regardless of what is on your body.

When we are young, we need our clothes to help us express the person we want to be; when we are older, we imbue our clothes with the person we are. You'll be a RATE UWP in your 80s, maybe in a bathrobe and slippers, but still off to do combat and save the weak in an post-apocalyptic world.

So, to answer your actual question, of course you can do clean-edged and colorful in your outfits without diverging from your signature style. As a matter of fact, how you incorporate these elements will be the refinement and evolution your signature style needs in order to not look like a costume. A little RATE and UWP will be enough to convey the message loud and clear; you don't need the extras like you did when you were younger because of what you now bring to the table.

JAileen

Veteran

When I worked I had completely separate clothes for work and leisure. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with repeating clothes or styles. When I worked I used to repeat a lot. If the garments make you happy, why not? Plus, it's efficient and ecological. BTW, my goals for my work clothes were clean, ironed, that they made me look credible. A pretty low bar, I'll admit.

Interesting abour color and your hair. My grey is so light that grey clothes really work for me, but black is probably too contrasty for me. As your hair continues to grey, you may have to keep adjusting. I'm figuring when my hair is completely white that I'll start wearing lots of colors again. Right now I love grey.

Shoes - yes, you definitely have great shoes. They can really take a simple outfit and make it great. That's one thing about YLF. My eyes have been opened to more interesting shoes.

Peri

Veteran

I always admire the willingness to change...to honor the current you and not insist on the past you. That's why I never understand when people comment on something on a K/R with "it doesn't look like you, it doesn't look like your style". Why can't we vary our style whenever we want?

Sometimes I get stuck by guilt...why don't I like these things I used to love? Is my sweater going to be sad that I don't love it like I used to? I'm starting to get over that!

I don't see your newer things as a radical change, just an adaptation for your current life and looks. A refinement. Whatever you post, all I see is "fantastic".

Anonymous

Gaylene deserves a therapy badge. Her take on your style evolution was so interesting. And she remembers such details!!

I've always been curious about how color palettes change when a dark haired woman decides to go grey. I assume you were a true winter?

gryffin

Veteran

The clearer the message the sharper the focus. I think as Gaylene said so eloquently, "When we are young, we need our clothes to help us express the person we want to be; when we are older, we imbue our clothes with the person we are." We feel compelled to hammer a message home when we are unsure of it, but true confidence gives us the abilty to just inhabit our message. Evolution and being comfortable in our own skin let us strip away the superfluous and crystalize our style. It gives us the final freedom to select only what speaks to us. I think this is the epiphany we all strive for.

catgirl

Veteran

Gaylene (and Gryffin!), wow. Eloquent and to the point as always. I think for me it's not a dichotomy between younger and older but between unsure and confident. I am much more sure of myself generally now style-wise. The comments people make to me about what I'm wearing IRL also tell me I'm conveying what I want to convey, grey hair or not! I love the idea of being a UWP in my bathrobe - and as funny as that image is, it also shows how our real style comes from within and what we project.

Peri, you've expressed another of my thoughts. I don't want to adopt every style or trend willy-nilly, and have long since ceased doing that. At the same time, I do have some minor chords in my style symphony that long to be heard too. I'm wearing the NYDJ top again today to work (yes, I'm at work answering the phone), and it seems a bit different for me - but I'm wearing faux leather leggings and studded flats.

Sterling, I am a true winter and I think medium contrast (dark hair and dark olive skin). My hair is still pretty salt-and-pepper, only the white is SO silver it really stands out. This is making me feel like I need more saturated colors by my face, and while I could always wear those colors, and think I can still wear black, it has a different effect now - more contrasty, maybe?

Aida, I look forward to your brilliant input!

Jaileen, thanks for the reinforcement. My bar is pretty low too when it comes to work, maybe because I'm not a naturally dressy person. I have to strive to look put-together.

NYDJ Henley Blouse (Regular & Petite)

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cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I too see this as an evolution and perhaps the change in the hair was the catalyst for the movement along the continuum. I picked up on a few themes in your post. One was that you wanted to move to a simplicity in style for work where comfort was of paramount importance and that you feel the need to shift your color palette to more align with the new hair (which I quite love by the way). You want to achieve these two objectives without losing the uniqueness that you have injected into your wardrobe. I do think that it is possible to add a bit of edge with color and perhaps using accessories to do this is an option. This would allow you to have the comfort items you need but still add a layer with footwear, a watch, a necklace or a leather bracelet.

I suspect that the decision to let your hair grey is a sign that you have achieved a perspective in life that allows you to feel free to do as you please without consideration for the opinions of those at large. Kudos to you for this since it really is an achievement.

Adelfa

Veteran

Una, I don't wear my Equipment silk button-downs anymore either

Your desire for ease in dressing and in outfit design reminds me of mine in cooking--anymore, if a recipe has more than 4-5 ingredients, it will absolutely not get made by me!

I think having 2 wardrobes is great because for me changing from a work outfit to a home outfit is like shaking the job dust off my feet so that I can relax.

I read once that every stylish woman veers more towards classic as she ages. I don't know about that, but I think you've nailed it with the word "clean." You are distilling your style. I think that's super fun! Congratulations!

catgirl

Veteran

Dianthus, thank you! I think I've just given in to the inevitable, but maybe that is an achievement in itself! You've hit on something - I've always thought of my hair as an accessory. Hair and shoes are my key ways to edge up an outfit. I think that the hair shift is going to be a learning curve in how to still keep it edgy once grey is not the color du jour.

catgirl

Veteran

Adelfa, YES! I just pinned a recipe for "one ingredient chocolate mousse". How does that even work? That is a perfect analogy - my problem is I want a few perfect ingredients that somehow make a million different and interesting meals.

Why aren't you wearing your Equipment shirts? I really need to wear mine more - they feel too dressy now, but I could have worn one today over leggings and been fine.

Anonymous

If only I could give Gaylene a therapy award from me, too! Such wisdom. Una, I'm not a good person to weigh in here as my style has always felt unfocused and all over the place. But what if I actually do have a style and just can't pin it down in descriptors? I'm saying this because I see your pics and get a sense of who you are, immediately. That comes through even if you are feeling in a shift--or, as Gaylene more aptly puts it, an evolution. Maybe it all comes down to trusting our instincts now that we have more life experience to draw on.

What I'm picking up from your post is that you're at a point where you don't want to waste time overanalysing. You know what makes you comfortable, you know when you're being forced into clothing that doesn't feel like 'you'. As Gaylene says, this is a time in our lives when we can do that with confidence. I say go forth and explore, because to those of us watching, the essence of you shines through. You will always be one of the people on the forum whose posts and comments I'm drawn to.

catgirl

Veteran

Wow, Aliona - thanks for that boost of confidence (I had to give you a boost badge). I continue to be amazed at how people "know" each other here. When the forum switched how pictures were viewed, I couldn't believe how many members that were new to me had been following along for years.

Anyway, you are exactly right - I'm to the point where I don't want to overthink. Of course, my idea of just thinking is my husband's idea of beating a dead horse, so everything is relative. I still love talking about style and all the interaction here, but I want my own closet to run itself somehow and produce what I want without a lot of work. Actually, it would be nice if my garden and kitchen and family did the same. Maybe I have an attitude problem.

Anonymous

Una, I'm starting to wonder if all that hair colouring seeped into my rein and messed with my thinking. I seem to be so much more focused now that I'm letting my grey lead the show

And can I also take this opportunity to say what a beautiful, awe inspiring part of the world you live in. I'm just floored whenever I see one of your outdoor pics. You are like your environment: bold and beautiful!

Anonymous

And autocorrect is messing with my *brain* too.

Adelfa

Veteran

Una, why don't I wear my Equipment shirts? Some of all of these reasons....

1. They seem a tad too short and a tad too tailored to successfully pull of half-tucked, untucked, or tunic looks, and I don't wear fully tucked anymore.

2. The gap problem. I put on a shirt that seems plenty roomy, and before too long a tactful colleague is telling me that I'm unbuttoned. This seems to be a worse problem with silk shirts, perhaps because the fabric is slippery.

3. I'm trying to accept the fact that I WILL spill food on myself, no matter how careful I try to be. I'm so tired of hurrying to the dry cleaner, having the stain conversation, maybe hearing later it didn't all come out...

4. My style has gotten more casual and a smidge more boho or arty. I'm having trouble styling the shirts in a way that's appealing to me (see #1).

So, right now for work I'm wearing a lot of polyester non-buttoned blouses! Angie has shown me there are some lovely ones. They are all high-low and they solve every single problem described above. Pleione has a ton. I still love my Equipment blouses and am hanging on to them for another day!

Thistle

Veteran

Replying without reading the other posts, so apologies if this is a repeat but I wanted to keep my thoughts just as they were when I read your post.

First, style morphs and changes with us. We change, grow older, maybe wiser, and have new needs. I love the idea of a clean or straight edge for you.

Your job changed, so your need for work clothes changed. As you've embraced this change, your style needs have changed. What was appropriate and even comfortable in your old job doesn't all work for your new job.

Our priorities change, and perhaps the care of your equipment silk blouses turns you off, or maybe they just aren't comfortable. Whatever the case, there is no point forcing yourself to be someone you aren't.

Embrace where you are right now, enjoy your current loves, and if you don't go back to your old loves, that's okay.

And I can see a place for the clean straight lines of Kate Spade in your evolving style.

approprio

(website)

Veteran

I like your description of your professional wardrobe - no-nonsense professional basics that work for your daily life. Stretchy tailoring and ponte knit get the thumbs up from me, as do blazers and silk button-downs.

The separation of work and play sounds like a good move too. It's inevitable when you have to play a variety of roles in your life. Maybe you'll find it works on a spectrum. For instance, I think that teal blazer you've just bought would go almost anywhere, and in my universe pairing it with faux leather leggings would be a slam dunk of a business casual look that could go out later in the evening.

Complex looks are good fun, but really good ones take time and effort. You need to treat making them as a hobby and be prepared to repeat. Much easier to create a few UWP templates and treat them as a template for getting dressed in the morning. BF jeans and statement footwear would seem like a good place to start.

So I think you're in a really good place. You know what you like and what works for you. You can create some nice signatures with the things you have in your closet and amp up the UWP factor with cool shoes and accessories.

But stick with the colours. I'd say your brights are crucial to achieving the clean edge you're looking for. If grey is no longer your friend, maybe adopt black as the core neutral and find your groove in bold, clean contrasts.

There's my 2c. I expect you've already thought of all of the above but that's just my impression from following your awesome style.

unfrumped

Veteran

I think you've identified your "fuss tolerance", too and are honing your wardrobe to eliminate that but still look put-together. And the stretch or give factor is in part a comfort thing and also a body type thing, so perfectly great to have learned what items are most likely to work for you. That may demand more of your items, to be well-made, good materials, but still these are available at many price points. And in fact you can carry this off with these simpler items so well--you have some inherent drama (that may not be the right word) and fitness in your "look" so that a simple dress and boots looks fab without a lot of fuss.

catgirl

Veteran

Wow, what a think tank this group is! You've all understood my needs so well. Fewer, simpler pieces per outfit with clearer style impact is my goal. So not necessarily Shannon's style but along the lines of her recently stated style goals. This is why I'm sad that Eileen Fisher doesn't work for me, at least the edgier incarnations like the recent lookbook. I do think it's easier for me to dress in winter, since my wardrobe is built around that climate, and some of this restlessness is due to missing my asymmetric cashmere tunics and boots.

The good thing is that I have all the ingredients in my closet to make this work. The long teal jacket outfit is a good example of something I'd be comfortable wearing everywhere, and with a different top, to work.

Thanks for helping me brainstorm, style sisters!

catgirl

Veteran

Adelfa, interesting. For me, it's definitely the "silk is dressy" factor... but it really doesn't have to be. I need to experiment. And as I said in other posts, this NYDJ shirt is quite easy to wear - I just wish the patterns didn't skew quite so mainstream. Add some skulls, NYDJ! (Rachylou, can I create a "Put A Skull On It" category?)

Eliza

Veteran

Una- lots of wisdom here, including your own. My reactions have largely been covered by others, so rather than reiterating a more global perspective, I'll keep it "micro". Several of your thoughts resonated here as well. I am more drawn to color than I was previously and have even added a few carefully chosen floral prints to my wardrobe (much more a geometric print and more solid color dresser usually). I also am into reducing variables in my dressing equation, including choices that require work-arounds. This brings me to your perspective on hardware: I, too, now seek to avoid most of it. For one, its ubiquitous presence has virtually eliminated the "edge" and just as important to me is how the metal adds more complexity to the outfit visually, causing efforts to reduce the cacophony by matching other necessary metal elements of my outfits. How much simpler to have no highly visible hardware!

I also embrace your wonderfully apt description of "faux" structure. I am happiest at the intersection of structure and comfort, given how my style preferences and often casual lifestyle intersect. While comfort matters, I am sloppy and frumpy adverse. Thanks for putting words to relevant goals and sharing your thoughtful posts. I appreciate all the collective wisdom others have shared, too.

Alassë

Veteran

I too see your new direction as an evolution, a honing, of your UWP style. I think you're doing very well with the UWP upgrade and look forward to seeing where it takes you.

Deborah

Veteran

I was looking forward to this post:). Firstly yes I agree that I would not describe my style as RATE (rough around the edges). I think Maneera may have just confused the definition? I do however definitely see that we have a lot of similarities in our chosen styles.

Una this is exciting. Hesitant to use the word but I think you are working toward what I loosely refer to as "grown up" style. Minimal, no fuss almost organic style. I have been wondering if this is like a derivative of french dressing (which I am reading a lot on at the moment), you know what you like and what works so why fuss with other stuff? What you are doing sounds great and life change seems to inspire wardrobe evolution. My new job has taken me back to more suited (or at least jacket looks) and I am loving it. For me separate wardrobes for work and play don't work as I seem to have a deep seated need for consistency lol but if that works absolutely go for it. I think I get what's happening for you and it's going to be awesome to watch.

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