You lovely, dear ladies <3 Thank you for the boost to my self confidence. I did not post to fish for any kind of compliments. Nevertheless, it really buoys my heart to read all your kind replies and helpful advice. [insert all the hearts] I gained 40-50 lbs with the mold and my confidence took a hit. Especially after working pretty hard to get in good shape prior to all of this. I struggle to feel well, beautiful. Acceptable even? Our society is kind of brutal these days!

Hello, ladies! It has been some time since I posted. I’m not sure if anyone will remember me. I fell sick for 3 solid years. Like really, super sick with no answers. (I’ve had autoimmune stuff for years but this went even beyond that. I started questioning if I had cancer or was going crazy.) I found out last summer it’s mold toxicity. So we are in the midst of 20 different things with that.

I’m writing to ask if you ladies for some ideas and advice.

How do you regain your sense of self to some degree during or after extended illness? Did you consult with a stylist or image consultant? Experiment a lot? Maybe it’s not even possible?

I feel I’ve lost myself. My hair has greyed a lot the last year. (Perhaps the stress of it all?? Or nearing 40?) My arms have tons of stretch marks on them and I really don’t know if they’ll bounce back. My weight fluctuated a ton, amongst a host of other symptoms. (Weight gain is a mold symptom, sadly.) Last month I bought tent dresses and a multitude of cheap sweatpants because regular jeans and pants no longer fit or I feel self conscious in them. Also, I was not buying another new wardrobe yet again. I don’t have the heart, energy, or budget anymore. Though it’s a challenging because my body shape/type really doesn’t look good in sweat pants or straight cut tent dresses. But they are really easy and soothing to wear.

I recognize some of this may sort itself out once I’m on the other side of treatment. But maybe not. I have no idea or guarantee what things will look like, what will rebound and what will remain. Despite having a child at age 33, I really didn’t age or have issues reclaiming myself once I got off the baby weight. This has idk… shaken me?

One good thing to come of it is I delved into seasonal color as a distraction a couple years ago. I found out I am… Dark Autumn. All my favorite colors that I was always drawn to even after being (mid) analyzed as a winter? They were all autumn, especially dark autumn. Lipsticks that I thought were too warm or brown on me all these years were due to ten years of training my eye to like myself only in winter. Dark Autumn has been a revelation and a relief.

Anyway. Thanks for letting me crash the party ☺️ Would love to hear your thoughts!

PS just a few photo examples of current wardrobe. Not exciting I know!!