Hi everyone! It's been ages!

I had a bad case of "the wantsies" earlier this year (this post: https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....and-a-rant)

Since then, I have completely lost all and any inclination towards shopping. The stuff available at retail is just not living up to my standards. I am still looking for the perfect [insert here], but not in any way actively searching. I have struggled with an overflowing closet for too long, and am just not feeling accumulating yet more (unworn) clutter. I feel so free!!!

This is coming from a self proclaimed former hoarder, mind you. It might just be a phase... But my wallet is very happy with the changes!

Sal, in your reply to Jenn you mentioned being bored of some of your staples/essentials. And in your first post you noted that the essentials you’ve bought have been slam dunks but you’re less sure about the statements/experiments. I wonder if it would be a good strategy to focus on “essentials with a twist” - when you identify an essential that you need, shop for one with a little something extra, like that embroidered anorak (vs a plain anorak). I think such items can often be just as versatile as plain versions, but sometimes more satisfying.

Also maybe bring your reasons for to limiting your shopping/wardrobe back to the top of your mind. I have to admit that my first reaction to your original post was, well gosh, why not go ahead and buy a few things? So maybe reminding yourself of the positive goals of limiting your wardrobe would help?

I think it is likely very individual, as to what triggers and what works, but you’re getting a lot of good ideas , so some of them may fit you.

What Sloper said- I generally need to not look, do things like unsubscribe, and to take complete breaks - a month may be enough at times because then the season or the particular mood has passed.
I have to take breaks from YLF actually because it focuses heavily on the new” and facilitating buying. Though I’ve gotten some really good ideas and purchases also. Others may be able to use just the inspiration.
Also SYC sessions are very helpful for me—seeing all the outfit options I already have and getting excited to wear them somewhere.
Another thing is taking moments for gratitude and appreciation- even out loud to myself- when I’m wearing something that really works well— from the mundane to the fancy.
Such as, “ these 15 year old gardening shorts are still so right and useful. These shoes are really comfortable- good choice. My pj capsule is working so well in all seasons- I don’t need any more right now. “
Lists help me some- if I get a new X, it needs to be one of these better colors and replace what I have.

I really agree with JAileen - and even Janet's bag of chips comment - in that shopping and looking and thinking about clothes is akin to a sugar addiction . I have participated in this forum for many, many years, and often found it tough not to want new things in some attempt to change my look or try a new style. But something changed very dramatically in the last year, and I no longer shop, and no longer absorb as much fashion content on IG or Pinterest or the like. I didn't have to force myself to stop, I just lost interest . I have lots of clothes in great condition , and while none of it is new and fresh and trendy, I just cannot justify buying more . I think in my case the state of the world, the economy, rising food and gas prices ,and where I needed to allocate the little money I have moved my interest away from the next new fresh thing. I am hyper aware of no longer being trendy or fresh looking , or of no longer having new clothes and shoes every season, and there are times I feel less put together than I used to be) but at the end of the day, I really don't care as much anymore. I will acknowledge that a lot of this is time and budget and life-changes-from-Covid: I don't have free time to shop anymore, am not in stores, and have ZERO space for new things anyways. I am tired at the end of a work week, and need exercise and sleep more than I need more new clothes. I only wish I had experienced this change of attitude years ago.
Sure I could justify some new summer tops and casual pants, but I'm not going to spend that mental energy this year. I'll be wearing the same shorts and tops and getting personal fulfillment elsewhere (and trying to ignore those nagging feelings of less-than ) .

I sublimated with pinning pics on Pinterest… and rather like LJP, my interest has waned. But I have to admit the drastic decline in shops locally, the decline in magazines, and my distance now from any good stores has also contributed. The other thing I do now before buying is to go through my closet and refold everything. The sheer volume of clothing I have makes me rethink all purchases… and sometimes, darned if I don’t have something already that fills the spot.

Lots of great thoughts here.I think you ve struck a cord.Like Lana l find using my style app helps curb the cravings!l make a fantasy capsule wardrobe then l make up as similar an outfit as l can using clothes l already own and nine times out of ten l can come up with something very similar .It also helps to sit with the craving for a while,it quite often will go away after a few days.
l find being confined to the house and being bored can be shopping triggers so keeping busy and stay of the internet helps me.
l also like to dye/alter my clothes which l find helps to overcome clothing boredom as does putting out of season clothes away so that they feel fresh when they come back out again.Even if you don’t wear your clothes you can get bored just seeing them in your wardrobe every day.
Alyssa Beltempo is a blogger l watch who promotes low consumption but high creativity with her wardrobe.l find her supportive and soothing in the attempt not to buy too much stuff.
Having enough clothes also allows me to be extra picky about clothes that l do buy,l ve got very good at sending stuff that’s not 100% perfect back.

I've certainly had this feeling too...and done the shopping cart thing, then walk away. But often if there are things that catch my eye, I just keep the link open on my desktop to admire it, and to plan say, for when I need jeans next, or a great cardigan, I might get that one.

I think it's helpful to determine whether it's the hunt that you love, the possibility of owning it, or the owning itself. Sometimes the temptation is the best high :). To go to a store site that I like, listen to some relaxing music and look at the new things...it can be heaven when the mood strikes...a feast for the eyes to look at new styles and colors, the way the models are wearing it. We have a need for novelty after all, and I feel as though I'm learning to exercise a different muscle to be in looking mode more and only occasionally acquiring mode.

Another thing that has helped me is to unsubscribe from all email communications from retailers. Often someone says "deal" or "sale" and we jump. I don't want to consume mindlessly, and I think I used to! I just enjoy having some nice clothes.

And another thing that has helped me is to get support for not shopping or shopping less. Recently a podcast I listen to regularly called The Wintering Sessions with Katherine May had an episode about fashion and I really enjoyed it. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/.....0564103177

I am with Carla. It is the wear-counting that has made me extremely fussy about what I buy, especially shoes. Since for me I have been wear-counting for 6 years I can absolutely see things that cannot reach 30 wears after all that time. For an example, some Overland tan booties ( which turn out to be Miz Mooz actually, relabelled) bought in 2014. They have a bit of a heel. They have limped to 15 wears after over 7 years. Last winter worn precisely twice.
Whereas the flatter Minx metallic boots from 2020, now in their 3rd winter, have hit 40 wears. This applies to all classes of clothing, but shoes being my weakness I notice it more there. I still go on Styletread and put shoes on my wishlist. Many sell out, but some don’t so then if they go on a significant sale and I know they will suit me and get worn, like the olive sandals, I might buy them. I had wanted olive sandals the previous summer but found none. These were bought last summer and have had 34 wears.

I love the Spark Joy podcast for discussions on having ‘enough’. Don’t be turned off by the Marie Kondo association, they interview a variety of people.

Such wisdom here!! Love the ideas and podcasts. It’s going to be a mixed approach for me - a couple of shopping fasts per year, A challenge, I will count my June and July wears which will give me a winter handle, and mindfulness.

LJP, interesting about the “nagging feeling of less-than”. That’s what I get when I put too much of my energy into shopping/clothing/dressing.

JennyNZ, can you explain that counting-fussiness connection? I can’t see accepting anything into my closet that doesn’t feel good to me and that I don’t like the looks of. I think those are the same things that would lead to more wears, but the wearing comes from the liking, not the other way around, iykwim.

I’m like Brooklyn, I don’t browse online and I don’t go into shops. YLF is fine for me, because I rarely order from overseas or buy out of season unless It is something that I have been looking for and know will work.

Lockdown is hard and boring. I am in lockdown at the moment, with Covid myself. After 3 days of bed rest, I feel fine, but I am locked in my bedroom as I don’t want to make my husband and son sick for another 4 days. I have been reading books and watching TV series and have loved watching Cobra Kai on Netflix. I take time to have a glass of juice and sit on my balcony to watch the sunset each evening.

I browse online quite a bit and what seems to help me is to start “wish lists” on various sites (Nordstrom, Bloomingdale’s, Zappos, etc). So I save the item for later browsing but also to think about it. Quite frequently, when I go back and check those lists, I wonder what on earth I was thinking or I realize the urge to buy that item has passed. Sometimes, if the item is on sale, I might try it but quite often it was enough to put it on a list and then I’m done.

I actually do have a list, also, of general or specific “wants” and I’ve noticed it’s the same experience when I check it occasionally…I’m just not that into it anymore and I then delete it from the list.

The "wantsies" can be a difficult siren song to resist! I'm not as successful at resisting as I would like to be, but a few things that help me when the shopping bug is biting me:

1) I unsubscribe from email lists, and if I'm seeing a particular type of sales ad recurring on my social media, I'll right-click and label it "irrelevant to me" (or however it's worded for a particular platform).

2) I pick one thing from my closet that doesn't get worn a lot, and I play with it. I challenge myself to make a new capsule module out of what I already have, using six pieces: two bottoms, three tops, and a topper. Sometimes one of those bottoms is a dress, and I try putting a sweater or blouse over it, and belting it.

3) Alyssa Beltempo has a wonderful playlist on her YouTube channel called Shop Your Closet, in which she shows you ideas to recreate runway or style influencer looks, with what you already have.

4) I pick something that I rarely wear, that lies more on the fantasy-life side of the closet, and I wear that around for awhile. When I get tired of it, I hang it back up and put on something else that I adore, but somehow never get around to wearing.

5) Sometimes, me just saying, "today is a great day to break a habit", and taking a book + beverage outside to read, with some pretty music or doing something else relaxing and enjoyable, helps immensely with the wantsies.

Thanks - I hope this thread can be helpful to others as well. I am going to hold out on the shopping for June, track my wears for the next two months, and have fun with what I have which is plenty!!

I usually seem to add about 25-35 pieces a year across everything except lingerie socks and sleepwear which I add as I need and things wear out. So including scarves, gear, clothes, bags etc so far I am on 12 which feels about right. I’d like to be at the lower end otherwise my closet will grow.

Bijou - pleased you are on the mend!

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Hi again, I will explain the connection between the wear counting and the fussiness for Stagiare Fash who has asked, although I feel like I have already explained many a time on other threads. Of course I don’t buy things that I don’t like or don’t think could work for me. But my tastes are wide-ranging and so what “sings to me” is a large number of items. Too many for my storage and particularly for the sustainability I have been working on for at least 5 years now. I now, like others, for example Aquamarine just up-thread, use wishlists to put things that sing to me on, particularly shoes, knowing that the number is ridiculous, for example 20 pairs of shoes, about half as much again as I own. And often after a while with those there is a “What was I thinking?” feeling and off the list go the shoes. The counting wears helps me decide from what I just *think* will work to what from experience is far, far more likely to actually work- for instance flatter boots or sandals as opposed to even a moderate heel. And tops rather than skirts or dresses. But even with tops, every time I wear a new one is a time I won’t wear an older one, and if there are too many some just won’t get worn or won’t wear out. Then I could get tired of just looking at them in my wardrobe unworn. So I try not to buy new tops until most of the others have reached at least the #30 wears. Then I can do one-in one-out in a more sustainable fashion. Or I could re-donate a thrifted item even if not worn enough, because then I am not increasing the amount of clothing rotating through the world unnecessarily. I hope this explanation is sufficient and not too off-topic for your thread Sally!
And Bijou glad you are feeling better.

I can see that Jenni. I know I used to overbuy for cold winter but that’s only really two months a year. But if I don’t consider winter shoes that cope in the rain that’s a problem because that’s a lot more days a year. Suntiger talked about PUPY - potential uses per year - as a concept for helping her with shopping decisions.

I don’t think I have worn heels once this year….. yet 1/4 of my shoes are heels. I also am yet to wear two of my winter coats - it’s not been cold enough. That’s what made me think why am I browsing for winter dressy coats…..???

Thanks JenniNZ. So what you’re saying is that counting helps you be realistic about what gets worn, so you can predict if you will wear a thing, and that you remove things according to wears rather than wear? That’s a more clear explanation of the wonders people ascribe to it.

Sal, were you saying upthread that a dressy winter coat would be worn about twice a year because you only have that many dressy winter occasions, or because it isn’t cold enough? If it’s the temps, then I withdraw my endorsement of that idea.

It can be cold enough here for a wool coat. We get frost and 0 degree mornings. But not often, and not often enough on days I need to be smartly dressed for the price. I may find something where my heart sings or a second hand option - but i am trying to be realistic that it’s not a need.

Jenni, that makes total sense. I don’t count wears (only in the most abstract sense, I can give a general idea of how much something has been worn), but I can see how those concrete numbers help to serve as a firmer reality check.

Like Sal says about heels — I have maybe 6 pairs of booties (all 5+ years old) that have 2.5”+ heels, which I do not wear for daytime anymore, and during Covid, we weren’t going out for evenings, and things have only become more casual. I’ve been giving those a bit of side-eye in my closet, since they take up quite a bit of space. I’ve been reluctant to give them away because the last two years have been so weird and I wonder if wearing opportunities will come back. BUT to your point, paying attention to how little or how much wear a category of item gets is a stark reminder to NOT buy more of it!

On the other hand, when I realized a while back that my one pair of boyfriend jeans were in the wash a lot when I wanted to wear them (and if I’d been counting wears I’m sure they would have ranked high up there), it justified another pair quite easily.

So I can see how counting or tracking wears can help not only curb the wantsies, but also redirect them into things with more practical use.

Janet, I’m like you—don’t need a spreadsheet to tell me what I haven’t worn all winter, or what’s been in the laundry 10000x. I guess pounding out those patterns, in hard numbers, is what people are talking about with counting wears.

Yes, I think that the counting is helpful for a lot of people. I’m not so much a numbers person — more emotional/intuitive in my approach — but I can be sort of shocked into sense with numbers!

Janet, vive la difference!

Yes Stag thanks for getting it now. The trying to only remove after #30 wears at least is a personal sustainability goal. I may not end up sticking to that for some items like the 2014 tan booties with the moderate heel, with the 15 wears. Those were intended for both work and for going out socially, but even although I like them and have a couple of slam dunk outfits I can make, I keep passing them over. As Janet says I give that pair the side-eye. Several dressy shoes with even higher heels and fewer wears were ditched last year when I realised they were too difficult to walk in much at all- for me.
I do also remove for “wear” (worn out) if things look scruffy but that is usually at well over 30 wears. If things look scruffy before that number they must have been bad quality!

“ if things look scruffy but that is usually at well over 30 wears. If things look scruffy before that number they must have been bad quality!”

I very much agree! 30 wears doesn’t strike me as a significant milestone in the life of a well-made, not uber-trendy garment. I love Sal’s idiom that the most sustainable item is one you already have in your closet.

Sal, to get back to your dressy winter coat. Actually I have only owned 2 of those in my whole adult life, and the first one was my mother’s 1964 red coat which I first borrowed aged 21 when it was already 18 years old. I still have it in the “sentimental” category but it is a bit tight and I haven’t worn it for perhaps a decade so it isn’t on my counting list.
I knew it was not that practical any more so when in 2011 I saw a shorter, swing shape black and white patterned one at Glassons on sale for $60, that I loved, I snapped it up. Over 50 wears in the decade since, but then that’s still only 5 a year? In 2020 with the first pandemic year plus a warmer winter I didn’t wear it once! But last year 7 times. So it is only a bit over $1 per wear, but if it had cost $600 as many of the long wool dressy coats do (mine is 15% wool 85% polyester) then I might not be so happy!
I think if you can consider that you might be going to have it for at least a decade or even two decades then maybe you would be prepared to spend the hundreds of dollars you may need to- but you will have to totally adore it and know you will want to still adore it for 10-20 years?!

I agree Janet - my heeled boots aren't getting much wear either...

Jenni - yes you get what I mean. I added this coat here in 2016 thinking it would be my forever coat.....but.....my style has shifted a bit and I no longer wear retro inspired clothes and it doesn't work with midi skirts or dresses (only above the knee or pencil skirts) so I am not drawn to it. It cost between $400-$500. It got a good amount of wear for three-four years but not since 2019.

And I think things are warmer now too...

Sal, I been thinking about this thread. For work, I did set item counts to get me through each season: if I had a minimum number of pants, jackets, etc., I could come up with enough different outfits to get me through the season. My casual wardrobe is much less focused and has higher piece counts. I think I need to figure out the optimal numbers for casual and shop to them, rather than just shopping in a more random fashion. Thanks for the moment of clarity.

Cat2 - when I worked in an office job I had about 8 outfits that I repeated. There would be three that would be weekly, and the rest were every second or third week. It’s a lot more fluid than that now so I can empathise.

Thanks Anne- as of this morning I have COVID too. I am the last to get it. So far pretty mild.