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Sort of OT: Loose clothes deceptive?

catgirl

Veteran

So the Redneck Paralegal and I are in a heated contest regarding eating habits and weight loss. We're driving my husband mad competitively comparing stats, exchanging smoothie recipes and quoting food facts.

The RP has been shamelessly showing me his waistband gap, and today I commented that no one has noticed mine or the fact that I've lost inches. To which he replied that I "wear my clothes so loose that no one can tell". He also said he couldn't see where I had anything to lose, which was nice but not true. He suggested that I should wear tighter clothing if I wanted people to notice.

I don't want to give up my loose tops! But does that mean any changes from diet and exercise are obscured? Waist surrenderers, please chime in!

General

21 replies

Latest reply was from catgirl

taylor

Veteran

I am not a waist surrender, but I will tell you that the smaller you are the more You must pay attention to fit. Not tight...but fitted!
Almost every garment in my wardrobe is altered...my clothes must fit or I can easily look lost and shapeless!
Clothes that worked for you 10lbs or several inches ago may not work now...waist surrender is fine but pay attention to the fit of the skirt/pant that you wear with and does the blouse or jacket look too big in the bust and shoulders now? Your silhouette has changed! Your clothes may need a little nip/tuck:)

catgirl

Veteran

Better them than me! This is not a problem I've ever faced - it's always been the opposite... You must be right, Taylor. Thanks for the wake-up advice - I just assumed that the same things would now fit better.

san

Veteran

Great answer Taylor. Great perspective.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

Una why are you listening to RP's opinion on your clothing? WE can tell that you've lost weight.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Una, it's also harder for someone seeing you day in and day out to tell that you're changing shape or size, because it is usually a gradual process --- the difference is too small to notice from day to day, and most people simply haven't got the kind of memory to recall what your fit was like last month.

I think that is why photographs help with weight-loss assessments big-time (apart from the scales and tape, of course).

That said, I think it's very rare to lose any significant amount of weight from only one body part, so as long as even one of the things you wear is fitted (on the leg, on the arm, even on the back), it should still reveal your new smaller size. Waist surrendering should not therefore be at odds with obvious weight loss.

ETA: I also have a suspicion, though I am definitely extrapolating hugely here, that RP is a little like Claire's Beret Lady --- projecting on to you his/her idea that she would immediately want to show off new waspish waist as soon as she lost weight! Stick to your style and let him/her carry on!

MsMary

Veteran

I lost almost 60 pounds a couple years ago, and the only time anybody noticed was when I'd show up in smaller, more fitted clothes. So yes, in my experience loose clothes definitely obscure weight loss!

Anonymous

It can happen Una. My boss lost a lot of weight and we only started noticing his weight loss when he bought smaller clothes. We felt so unsupportive:(

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Well it is not like you normally would listen to RP's fashion advice right? Taylor gave excellent advice, but there is no reason you need to emphasize your waist just because it shrank. And really does it matter who else notices as long as you do?

Jonesy

Veteran

I guess I wouldn't *want* my co-workers to be closely monitoring my body shape and size :), so if they didn't say anything that would be good IMO, not bad.

Isabel

Veteran

I agree with everybody ...how THAT for a decision ? Jonesy has a good point, though to me it depends on who is making the assessments. I once worked with gay man whose opinion I trusted implicitly, so I didn't care when he "share" his thoughts.

I couldn't agree more that it comes down to fit, fit, fit. One can have a loose top with princess seams and still not look as if your smaller. Your body is going down, but your clothes aren't. So in the end, it is about scaling down no matter the silhouette.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Eh, people aren't that keen. If you wear the same clothes they're familiar with, I think it's harder for them to notice - like, if you still fit the same dress, you must be the same size. Not a conscious conclusion, but just the result of no cue to sit up and reevaluate. It's also not like you could lose a really obvious amt., so the changes are not as dramatic to those not in tune with your bod.

catgirl

Veteran

Thanks, ladies! You are right that I don't take fashion advice from the RP. We are all right in each other's face, though, and since it's just me, my husband, and the RP, we're pretty casual about cussing and insulting each other and fighting over who has to clean out the fridge.

Jonesy, you're 100% right that co-workers are better off not saying anything - however, since RP and I are are constantly comparing notes, and I asked the question, the topic seems like fair game to me.

Mary, I can't believe no one noticed a 60 pound loss! That's crazy...

I guess the test will be with my family at this wedding next month, especially my dad who asked me "How did you get so fat?" last summer. A lot of the differences are things only I'd know, like looser waistband or less muttin top.

MsMary

Veteran

They noticed eventually, but it was very near the end and, as I said, not until I started replacing my clothes. (BTW my favorite "noticing" story is the social worker who came into my office after not having seen me for a few months and shrieked "Oh my God you look so young! Did you have, like, major work done?" And I shrieked right back "YES!! I TOTALLY did!!")

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

First things first: congrats on the weight loss!
I'm in the same boat and have dropped 36 pounds to date. I've shed two denim sizes and I'd say 1.5 top sizes, and I notice changes all the time...but very much to your point, a couple of my female coworkers only noticed this week when I turned up with a waist-synching belt. These are both women who routinely comment on my clothes and fashion in general, too. So I think Taylor is onto something, as she so often is.
Also...please link me to the thread where you introduce this Redneck Paralegal character. I'm intrigued!
Mary: You are my favourite.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I try not to comment on people's weight, preferring to say things like "you look great" rather than on to something specific. I let them come forth with the information, even If I've noticed the weight loss.

This is sort of tangential, but I believe loose clothing looks awesome on thin people. So don't abandon the oversized look because somehow you think it makes you look bigger. It doesn't, not to the discerning eye. I often purchase tops a size or two too big for that slouchy loose-fit look. As long as one part of your outfit is fitted, this approach works. Two of my favorite silhouettes are a loose top and super skinny bottoms; fitted top and hips and very loose big legs. I am also liking the loose boxy top with a skinny skirt, although I haven't ventured there much myself.

ETA: am cracking up at your story Mary!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Who is RP?

Taylor and I are a very similar size and on top of that we bat for Team Polished. Sooooo, to her important point - fit is especially crucial. I mentioned what I have altered in another thread, and you might find the conversation interesting. Plus there is an incredible cartoon drawing:

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....-this-nyfw

I am *very* fussy about fit and length to start off with. If you have a crisp and minimal style like I do, fit is extra important. (Read the thread I linked to). That being said I also LOVE to surrender my waistline. Soft boxy blouses worn with skinnies is one of my big looks. You couldn't see if I had lost or gained weight in this type of outfit I'm sure. This is to RP's point. It's a man repelling look to most men, apart from my hubby. And that's all I care about, so there you go.

Una, don't give up your loose tops. They are part of YOUR look.

catgirl

Veteran

Thanks Denise and Angie, for letting me keep my loose tops! The deliberately oversized look has always been part of my style. In thinking about it, before weight gain, it was just because I liked the look and feel. After weight gain, I started using it more as a way to hide. Now I need to go back to my old "this feels good" mentality.

MICHELLE! Congrats on your amazing loss! I haven't seen recent pictures but now I will look for them. I agree it's not so much how you appear as how you feel in your body - I feel like I'm getting my old self back somehow, and the little issues (like not having muffin top from my UNDERWEAR - sheesh!) feel huge to me, yet are mostly invisible to the world.

Angie, the RP is my guy paralegal. He's my age and is an awesome employee but we do clash on fashion matters. He freely admits to being a redneck, and he (being from here) considers me to be very East Coast man-repeller in my ways. It's a funny and often entertaining dynamic. Sometimes I feel like we should be a sitcom - my husband, RP, me and Kona in an office together!

Mary, I LOVE YOU!

Jonesy

Veteran

Yes, I think there is a *huge* difference between wearing loose clothes because they are chic and you feel very modern and confident with yourself and your body, and wearing loose clothes because you are hiding in them, or you bought them without trying them on, or are wearing hand-me-downs that don't fit, etc.

It seems like a looser top and skinnier bottoms is so much a part of your style (and looks so fab on you) that I would hate for you to chuck it out the window just because RP is lobbying to see your waistline :).

catgirl

Veteran

Thanks, Jonesy! He's not really lobbying - I think he was truthfully and rightfully pointing out, in answer to my complaint, that if I expect people to notice weight loss, I need to wear clothes that show it rather than obscure it.

In general, though, he's a good litmus test of the typical male reaction (in the man-repeller sense). My husband is so used to me that nothing fazes him any more.

Jonesy

Veteran

Okay, I think I earn an F for reading comprehension for this thread :)! I do see RP's point now...I guess it's up to you and what your goals are, in thinking about dressing your new trimmer bod. We've talked a lot here at YLF about the whole "figure flattery" vs. surrendering the waistline thing; everybody has different goals and different ideas about what looks good on them. Maybe your goals might have shifted a teeny bit as you've shrunk a bit, or maybe not, but it could be fun to re-assess them.

catgirl

Veteran

Goodness, no worries and no F, Jonesy! Under normal circumstances it is a weird conversation to have with a co-worker, but we are just not normal.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your wise and on point input - and you are absolutely right that I may be on the way to adding some traditionally figure flattering styles to my repetoire! I'll never give up my loose tunics, but other style options could enter my comfort zone as I'm happier with my bod.