Rae, love, I'm crying reading all this. Suz brought it to my attention, I never check OT like a dork.

Your husband is our hero, indeed, as Zap wisely said. How wonderful to come outside after the madness and he was right there. He must be going through a lot of crap too, to have to go through that without knowing.

I can only imagine what it was like for you, and the fear you felt. I just want to say you are one my special YLF buds, and I feel a deep kinship with you.

This just makes me think YLFers should get together more often than once a year, just to reconnect with the people we care about. Thank you for sharing your feelings, it helps us all to get through it with you.

Giant hug and back massage.

Rae, I am sending huge hugs to you, our YLF STRONG UWP!!!

I had chills and was in shock to think you had to endure such terror. I'm so glad you weren't physically harmed although I'm sure you are quite traumatized by the events and I feel so sad for the women who were hurt.

Elly's words are so true and, Rae, you are one strong woman, and I'm grateful that beautiful you is safe. Sending you love and peace and so happy you are in DH's safe and secure arms again. Yes, whether it's ramen or furry ones, it is those small things in life we treasure.

Rae, just something I found about survivor's guilt after a traumatic event that I thought might be helpful to you later, when you're less raw from this experience. Here is the full article, and a section that I thought was especially relevant is below.

"When endangered, the body responds neurochemically to propel us to protective action (counter-aggression, stillness, or flight). Survival becomes a neuro-biological as well as an emotional imperative. During and after traumatic events, individuals often must find immediate ways to survive.... Studies suggest that, after an event, people overestimate their preexisting predictive knowledge of the event (Fischhoff, Crowell & Kipke, 1999). This overestimation can lead to an inaccurate assessment of culpability."

Basically, this is a normal reaction for your body and mind to go through after an incredibly terrifying, violating event. Feeling glad that you are physically unharmed isn't the same thing as being glad that someone else was hurt worse. Be really gentle with yourself as you're recovering from the trauma, okay?

And because I omitted to say so before, and I'm sorry that I didn't, three cheers for your wonderful supportive husband. I'm so glad that he was - is - there for you when you most need him to be.

Oh my goodness! I just saw this. How terrifying for you, and terrible for those who were assaulted, but I'm glad nobody was killed.

Take all the support you can get.

OMG !!! I have the chills right now. I didn't make the connection. I am glad that you are physically ok. These things are so hard to deal with. Especially after the experience you had with that unstable guy who attacked your car too ( with you in it ).

If Nordstrom offers counseling, and they should, please take advantage of it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am sorry to hear this happened Rae!
I hope, when the numbness wears off you take time to talk about it with a professional, so you can move on feeling O.K.
Lots of love for you here!

Jeethus! Horrifying. I'm so glad that you are safe and sound. I will be keeping you in my thoughts, Rae. I'm so sorry this happened to you. xoxo!

Rae, I've been running around LA like a busy beaver and when Mary told me last night what happened I couldn't believe it! It is just too awful to believe. Why sexual assault was necessary in this situation just says more about the sick people out there, I mean was that really necessary?? The sexual assault (to me) started when they made you strip. It just proves that the "smart" criminals out there, like they show in movies (Brad Pitt, Ocean's 13) who don't want to hurt any one but just want the money, don't exist. This is so traumatic, I am sorry you have to go through this.

I don't know what you're doing over the next few days, but if you want company, I'd be happy to drive anywhere to meet you and buy you lunch/dinner... I'm here until Wednesday.

Take care and lots of love,
Denise

Holy crap, I just read this, I've been hardly here for a while. How insane!!! So glad to hear that you are home and unharmed. Glad your hubby is taking good care of you, please do what you need to take care of yourself.....so, so, scary! Big hugs!

Oh, Rae! I am so, so sorry that this had to happen to you. You are about the same age as my daughter and the mothering instinct in me just wants to gather you up in my arms and squeeze you tight, darling girl. I'm so glad you have your wonderful husband to lean on. Please take care. xo

OMG Rae how horrible! I am so glad you are physically OK, though the emotional scars may last a long time. What a terrifying ordeal. I am so sorry you had to go through all that trauma and that your coworkers were hurt as well. Be gentle with yourself, you will be feeling lots of emotions after the shock wears off. I would definitely look into the counseling that they are offering, I think that will be so helpful when you are ready. I am so glad your husband was there to see you afterward and is taking such good care of you. Please accept lots of hugs from me and all your YLF sisters. I wish I could be there to give you one in person. Let us know how we can help and anytime you want a sympathetic ear or shoulder to cry on, we are here for you Rae!

Rae - I saw your post late yesterday on FB while I was in the Phoenix airport waiting to fly back to the OC. I was just sick - but unable to open the link that you had posted and so I didn't know the details until I read it today in the L.A. Times - and then saw your thread here on YLF. I have been thinking of you all day today and wondering what I could do to help you get through this - and wishing that I could just wave a magic wand and make the entire experience go away. I cannot imagine how frightened you must have been and I'm sure that you are experiencing a lot of different emotions now - just know that they are normal and that you should not "fight" them - but just allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and "be." I don't live that far away from you - if you need anything or would just like some contact, I can drive up to spend some time with you. I'm also going to PM you with some possible resources/references to help you in dealing with the horrific trauma of your experience. I am so very, very sorry Rae - sending you much love!

Rae, as soon as I saw this news I wondered if you had gotten caught in it. I'm SO SORRY this happened...to everyone involved, esp. to the girls who were hurt, but also to you because you are our friend.

Big hugs. I'm so glad that it wasn't worse than the terror that it was.

I've been away and just saw this thread. How awful for you! I hope you will get some counselling - you can't just 'get over ' something like this. Even trained police officers have mandatory counselling when a violent, disturbing incident takes place. Please take extra good care of yourself - you've had a terrible shock. On the practical side, someone suggested looking in to your employment status, benefits, sick leave, workers comp etc. This is a very good idea. At this point I'm sure you have no idea when you'll be ready to return to work, but you need to know what financial support is there for you.

I hope that today finds you doing something restful and relaxing with your husband, Rae. I've been thinking about you all weekend.

Rae, I keep on coming back to see if you have posted any updates. I am hoping that you have been able to relax a bit and at least get some sleep. Hang in there, you will overcome this. Your YLF sisters are worried about you!

Rae, I'm just sick to my stomach reading about this. I'm glad you're in one piece and have sweet hubs there to give you lots of hugs.

Oh Rae... I just saw this post now. I heard about the Rack horror but didn't put two and two together... I can't believe you were there. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm frightened and shocked on your behalf. Let us know how Nordies handles this and how things progress. Sending you lots of strength and courage.

Thank you so much for the continued support, PMs, and general good thoughts, ladies. Today was probably my worst mood so far. Some latent anger and sullenness/depression coming to the fore. The good news is that we did get some answers to important questions today: the police recovered some of my belongings and returned them to me; my ID with address is safely back in my possession; I spoke with the therapist provided by Nordies, and I am getting something to help me sleep; I can also set up time to see this therapist in person; and the biggest relief is that Nordies is allowing for as much time away as I need - they may even allow for a transfer to another location if I need it.

Rae, what a horror you have been through! I am so happy you are physically unharmed, please do counseling and everything else available to you to get over this nightmare!
It is so great that your hubby waited for you and is there when you need him, it is really priceless!
Million hugs and please let us posted!

Oh, Rae, I am so sorry that you experienced this horrible ordeal. I'm glad that you are physically ok; how frightened you must have been. Please take care of yourself. Hugs to you.

This just makes me feel so sick and upset but so grateful that you are okay as can be under the circumstances. When I saw the headline I assummed you weren't working the shift or something because my head couldn't even go there. I don't even know what to say, but ((Big Hug))

So glad that Nordies is looking after you. Take all the time you need. xo

Just something silly Mr. Rae did last night to cheer me up. The big cat on the left is a new one he got me right after, and he's named Lord Kinbote (waving at X-Files fans).

Oh. my. god. --- is that adorable, or what?! Hope that's given you the warm fuzzies despite all, Rae!

Oh, that is ADORABLE! =) You have the best DH ever! Hope you are managing to relax a little bit. I'm glad you're talking to the counselors as well.

SO CUTE!!! Hooray for Mr. Rae for stepping up to the plate so beautifully!

Hmmm, you may want to talk to the therapist about this cat obsession ( just kidding, they are adorable). Sounds like you have had some good news from Nordies - that's wonderful.

Thank you for this update, Rae, I've been thinking about you the entire weekend. I'm very happy to hear Nordies is providing such good support and that you know who to approach if you want more help.
And Mr. Rae is so sweet!!-) You guys have quite the cat family going there (*smiling* about all the names:-))

Warm hugs!

Oh, Mr. Rae is so sweet! And I'm glad Hank, Chester, and Elliott are there for you too!