The only person that dress would look great on is a 5'10" slender rectangle with IT tendencies. I am sorry, but it is true. I see the appeal...But it's not an easy dress to wear.

I do think you will look brilliant in that Arc'teryx.

It's also something indefinable in the way a piece of clothing makes us feel. It's not objective. You can see this from many of our featured bloggers. They do not have "model" like bodies but they find ways to make on trend styles work well for them. Part of it is the confidence. I am sure nobody feels confident all the time, though. We all have those rough days when nothing we put on feels right. Or when, even if it looks objectively good once we have it on, all we can see is the bumps or cellulite we noticed in the change room.

Suz's comment aside, I would wear that dress, assuming it's not a maxi length on me! I don't mind looking like a blob, actually - I like to think of it as oversized fit. As Suz said, I "feel" at home in these looks somehow - maybe that's where the lumps and bumps don't bother me as much. I was never a bodycon kind of gal anyway.

For me, the sleeves throw that dress off. Not all shifts are terrible. I actually love shifts but the sleeves make that one tough, I think.

PS I think Anna and Dashielle have both used Angie's services, as a starting point.

Dear Lisa, I feel what you are going through. I know it's not much help to you now, but do want to share that post meno, things can sometimes change for the better: In the 6+ years since going through the change, my boob measurement has decreased by 2 cup sizes (a good thing). It's a rough time of life, with many adjustments, but I have found amazing things on the other side. I've seriously never felt better. Meanwhile, buying lingerie is an excellent strategy: feel good on the inside, look good on the outside is a truth.

Your hair looked so fab the other day. Could your stylist give you some upkeep tips? Maybe it's just a weather change that requires a product adjustment. my texture totally changes in summer and my formerly sleek, assymetrical cut turned disastrously Flock of Seagulls a couple of weeks ago. Stylist adjusted it to accommodate and I'll go back to sleek in the autumn.

I hope you feel better and keep treating yourself to small and large indulgences as needed.

Sorry, but I'm jumping in here to tell you to quit picking on one of my favorite fabbers, the amazing Lisap with the gorgeous hazel eyes and the spunky, no-holds barred approach to fierce fashion. You grab a shapeless, ugly grey, sweatshirty dress, stick her into it, and then proceed to tell her she looks like a blob. I'll bet, even in that sad little dress, she turned a few heads.

Lisa, Michelle was using Angie's services too - and I think remotely so you may want to PM her.

Yeah...what Gaylene said.

Una, you'd look great in this dress (scaled for your height) because you are an IT. Or rather-- you'd look great in it if the sleeves were cut differently. The sleeve on that dress is really tough to wear along with the rest of it.

I love shifts, too. But this one is really tricky...

Lisa, remember:
Hair grows much faster in Summer than Winter.
Extra eye make-up negates any suggestion of "golf-pro" in the meantime.
The hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause eventually ends.
That extra fat around the middle produces a bit of estrogen, and so cushions the loss of estrogen as ovaries shut down.
Women who remain extremely thin after middle age are more prone to osteoporosis.
It's good to treat yourself to anything that makes you feel better (like some time alone...or a good bra.)
It's not reasonable to expect one's body to remain the same forever, and, as one wise woman said, it's important to give yourself permission to take up more space.

Meanwhile, as Alaskagirl said, we've all seen your pictures, and we think you look anything but dumpy!

Lisa -- my doctor did not want to give me HRT but I begged him. He put me on the lowest dose possible, it's an estrogen / progesterone combination called PremPro. I still get symptoms (hot flashes, night sweats) but not as severe. Anyway, no breast cancer in my family history, and my Mom was on HRT for something like 20 years and is 82 now and going strong.

At one point I had to go on an estrogen only cream for another problem I was having. I hated that, I put on weight in all of the girly fleshy places very quickly. This was last year when I decided to accept what was happening and wear Mom jeans as a fashion statement. YLF did not think highly of the Mom jean (and speaking of which, where is the Mom jean now, in 2015?).

Oh geez . You women are the best remote friends when one is feeling lousy. Thank you so much for indulging what are absolutely first world problems. You know, I've been here a year now, and still haven't figured out what to wear. This dress is the perfect example: I'm drawn to it because it's sporty, a bit funky and not all body con and fitted . I don't know what to buy that will give me the look I want. I am pm'ing Angie tomorrow to engage her services . I am gojng to treat myself to this - because I'm at my wit's end .

That's a good call, Lisa. You deserve to treat yourself, and Angie's great eye for detail and fit might turn out to be the best way to spend your dollars.

I personally feel that right now what you really need is a double dose of confidence boost. And who would be better than Angie to do that! Hormonal fluctuations make all of us feel lumpy and dumpy for days, but there is only so much one can take before going bonkers.

If you are NOT feeling fab in your clothes, it is time to change that. As someone wisely said - dress for the body you have right now.

You ARE beautiful and chic. You inspired me to cut my hair and you inspired Roxanne to try a new outfit. Even when you're feeling 'dumpy and frumpy', you continue to inspire others. That should tell you something, right?

I wish you all the very best. And I hope to see you happy and smiling again.

Thanks Maneera - it's very kind of you to say these things . Onward we go

Can't think what to add to the great advice etc - but glad you got a great bra!

LisaP, one of the best things you can do on a bad hair day is to wear a pair of big statement earrings you love!

Seriously! Because that means your face is surrounded with something that makes you feel good, and when you look in the mirror, you'll see those gorgeous statement earrings winking back at you. They'll give you a lift and you'll feel better, prettier, and more feminine (if your hair was making you feel unfeminine).

Also, people won't be looking at your hair. They'll be focusing on your fab earrings.

Try it! It really works!

I just read through the whole post again. Is there any chance you were tired after your trip and that impacted your state of mind? Since we have met, I know that the perception of the fabbers that you do indeed fit the name and are fab is not a trick of light or angles. You really do look great. It is very easy to allow self-doubt and insecurity to cloud one's vision. I suspect you feel much more content about your body when you are not tired and are happy.

As to the dress, that shape works on a body that has similar lines. Women with a smaller waist than hips/boobs can rarely wear that shape at all. I have found that a good weight soft knit that drapes well can be your best friend in the summer. When I was slimmer (closer to what you are now), a soft knit tank dress with a scarf used as a belt was an easy breezy look that was very comfortable for the heat of summer. Add a pair of flat sandals and away you go.

Try to relax and enjoy summer. It doesn't last nearly long enough.

Lisa, I'm not around here a lot these days, but I understand the feelings all too well! I'm a little disheartened that even with all the exercise I am getting (I biked for freaking 3 hours the other day in the heat!), I am not getting any slimmer. That little, I'm-turning-50, lower abdomen weight gain is not going away. And I'm another one in a 30DDD/E sometimes F bra, so I feel that pain too, even though I do like my breasts just fine. And we all know I struggle with dressing my lower half without feeling like I'm sacrificing style for flattery.

However, I think the less I look at fashion magazines and blogs, the less I focus on comparing myself. Lately I know I'm not my smallest (bummed that a few old things are getting sold because my weight/size are up again), but I'm working hard on focusing my energies on being kind to my body rather than tearing it down.

The new bra and new exercise routine sound like perfect steps for you toward feeling better! I'm sending hugs and good wishes. You are fab, girlfriend. Don't forget it.

Hmmm...Is bad hair a good excuse to go hat shopping?
(I think your hair looks great in your pics, btw.)

So sorry you're feeling down, Lisa. Cyber hug!

But I AM glad you found a great bra. I splurged on a couple last summer at a local specialized boutique, so I get how much difference it can make. Then, knowing my size, I was able to order a couple at a much better price (bay, nordies). They are not quite as good, but much much better than what I had before.

I think getting Angie's opinion on things is a great idea. And I suspect well worth it, if it then prevents a few bad choices... which in turn will give your confidence a boost, which is ultimately the most important thing.

I feel your pain, Lisa. I'm deep into perimenopause myself. For the last few months my cycles are totally off script and I can feel various symptoms ramping up. I'm so ready for this to be over. Honestly, I've been feeling a bit insane lately. One day I'm feeling ok, the next I'm loathing everything. (FYI...I'll be 52 in September).

The hair....yep, me too. I decided a few months ago that I'd try something new. Well, I've spent the last 12 weeks growing it out and just got a trim the other day. I can finally look in the mirror again without feeling like I want to cry. Thank God it grows back!

Your new exercise program sounds excellent and I sincerely believe that it will help you to feel better about yourself. The same thing happened to me. I'd always done lots of stationary bike and dabbled in this and that. And then it stopped working and the belly fat started building up. I joined Goodlife 4 years ago and it's been sooo good. I'm kicking myself for not starting sooner. I've gotten rid of the majority of the fat and and I continue to get stronger and tighter and feel healthier. I keep myself on a strict schedule....no excuses, just do it. Once you're on a schedule it becomes a habit....and once that happens it just feels easy and part of the day. I do some classes because they really force me to challenge myself and I do lots of weights and some cardio. It's been a huge boost for me because I've discovered that if I'm willing to be disciplined and make exercise and taking care of my body a priority I do actually have some measure of control over how it looks. And that's a good feeling! Previously my feeling was, this is just what happens as you get older so accept it, and I no longer feel that way. For a control freak such as myself, knowing I have some power over this is a good thing.
I also really boosted my veggie and fruit intake last fall and that has changed my body for the better as well. I make a green smoothie most days for lunch.....hardcore smoothies.....and well, the human body really likes plant based foods. I noticed a difference after just a few days....it removes bloat and the digestive system works so much better. And no, I'm not a fanatic when it comes to food.....coffee and wine are serious vices. I'm just trying to make good choices more often than not. And again, it becomes a habit.

For what it's worth, when I look at your pics I think you look great. I don't see lumpy and dumpy. We women are way too hard on ourselves.

Sorry for the long ramble.........

Hugs to you, sorry I am late to join this post. I always look forward to your entries in the forum and was sad to see you feeling this way. Seems like you've cheered up a bit. We all make mistakes, that's life. Rid your life of that dress if it's gonna continue to haunt you and make you have bad self image. Not worth it. Now the bra on the other hand, wear that baby and feel great about yourself!

Hugs to you.

PS - if you engage Angie's services and she consents would you take us along for the ride (meaning post about your experience?) xoxo

Cheryle - thanks for the comments - and thanks for providing some insight into the dress fitting situation. I have always had a hard time with dresses and skirts in terms of figuring out what works for me. I am drawn to exactly what doesn't work: straight up and down 60's shifts . Nothing else ever looks modern and current to me and I really have no clue what to try. I try to stay away from anything waist defining because I don't want any eyes on my lower abs. But that leaves little else to wear. Maybe it's time for me to suck it up (literally) and start wearing Spanx under dresses and skirts.

Marilyn- thanks for taking the time to write such an informed and thoughtful reply. I have been a Goodlife regular for 6 or 7years now - doing pump and spin classes. But the weights classes are taking their toll on my joints , and yes, I'm pretty darn strong now, but as far as muscle tone goes (particularly in my abs) - it's not doing it anymore. Anyways - I am happy to move on to something new and am pretty excited about it. You are also dead-right about the discipline part. I have slacked off on my schedule thinking that I was still ok - but at my age, there is no longer room for working out 3 times a week - it needs to be pretty much everyday. And..... I like smoothies for lunch too - and i am a bit of a food and and health freak (I do love wine though )

My opinion is that, if you need to wear a bra, you deserve to wear a good one that does what needs to be done, in the best, prettiest way possible. That is not a cheap request, but when you actually do spend some $$, all of your clothes will fit better, your posture will be better, and of course those things will help you feel better about yourself. Finding the best bra for you can actually make it look like you've lost a few pounds.

I will also say that those minimizer bras just make a woman look fat. Get a good bra that is NOT a minimizer. If your breasts stand tall & proud, so will the rest of you.

I'm guessing Angie will work her magic on you and that will be that.

Lisa.....Have you tried CXWORX for your core? I hated it at first but it's become my favourite class. I've been at it for about for about 2 1/2 years and for me it's been just fantastic for tightening up my midsection. I've convinced myself that there's a six pack hiding under the little layer of flubber that refuses to budge.....but I might be delusional. LOL
I gave up on PUMP as well. I like playing around on the machines.
It's definitely good to try new things and find something that works and that you can stick with.

Yes, no slacking off at this age. It annoys the sh*t out of me that I have to work harder to look not as good as I used to but it is what it is, right.

Lisa, is that dress a knit? That shape+knit is quite tough for most bodies. If the knit is heavy and thick (i.e. not good for hot summer) or is woven (hard to find with this cut) then I think you'd be much better off. The fabric makes almost as much difference as the cut.

Pssst....do the PN coaching program. Just sayin....

Yeah , Suz, I have been tempted but can't get a straight answer off of the website re the cost .

Lisa you post some of the best WIWs !! And hair is just hair, it will grow in a month, and then you can try something else. In the mean time, do more dramatic eye shadow.

I hear ya on the DDs...that's where I am too, and the right bra makes 100% difference. Some bras fit great, but plop on a T shirt, and the girls look down right grandmotherly (I'm a grandma and can say that LOL).

I've been putting up with hot flashes for 10 years now, and also have issues not sweating enough to cool off during exercise. You gals who can do Hot Yoga are amazing. My most favorite exercise is swimming laps, as the heat just dissipates from my body into the water...wonderful.

Hi Lisa, I know just how you are feeling.
If I am not happy with my hair I AM NOT HAPPY !
I have always been lucky throughout my life having a great metabolism and being slim. However once menopause hit I found that my mid section just grew and grew. I am constantly looking for disguises . Of course it always looks worse to ourselves than to others ! A good bra definitely helps. I bought a few several months ago but have found that they do a good job but are not comfortable. I think I am going to look into the Prima Donna .
By the way I enjoy your posts and don't think you look frumpy in any way :))

It's monthly billing for a year. Not sure the exact price now. It is in US $ whatever it is. Those on presale list get a cheaper price; those not on the list pay more or don't get in (because they only take so many people).