Slightly OT: Mental Health and my Wardrobe ... and good vibes please? - YouLookFab Forum

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Slightly OT: Mental Health and my Wardrobe ... and good vibes please?

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Dear YLF,

I should provide an explanation for my absence...

My shrink-iatrist and I have been working together to identify when I go into depression (since MDD is apparently here to stay in my life), so one of the interesting things we noticed was - whenever I start to either buy a ton of stuff for my wardrobe, or am unsatisfied with everything, then it's a pretty strong indicator. Or when I start wearing pants. When I wear pants, it's actually pretty bad, because I don't care anymore.

This is compounded with some bureaucracy that has cropped up that may not allow me to graduate this year after all - I apparently failed an examination by 1% back in the day that I need to rewrite and restudy for in a few weeks (instead of a few months); so I am quite upset! While I understand the need to have physicians that are competent and capable individuals; I was hoping that they would be more understanding that some people simply aren't good at writing standardized examinations and offer alternative testing methods (I offered to do a verbal examination, a skills-based examination, or to obtain letters from my areas of weakness from clinical preceptors who have supervised my work). Needless to say, it's been frustrating.

I'd love for some good vibes from my YLF-ers and I apologize for following your fashion-adventures from only afar - I'll try to leave my 2-cents as much as I can!

Much love,
Almost-but-not-quite, still mini-doc. Lyn

PS: recently scored a fab Miss 60 dress for $23.... haven't worn it yet though

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50 replies

Latest reply was from

Suz

(website)

Veteran

lyn, big hugs! It sounds as if you are under a lot of stress, but also making a few interesting discoveries. Take whatever time you need to do what you have to do, and good luck on your exam!

I can identify with the feeling of dissatisfaction being a clue to depression, and also anxiety, which for some people might take the form of endless buying or shopping, I can imagine. The question is, which comes first...and what to do about it?

Please know that you are beautiful and incredibly smart and fab WHATEVER you wear, but we love all your fun and interesting outfits.

Mirp

Good vibes coming your way!

Victoria

(website)

Veteran

I'm sorry to hear that you have been having diffucult time, Lyn:((. Prayers and hugs going your way:))))

taylor

Veteran

The most beautiful and stylish mini doc I have ever seen!! You are always a bright and happy spot here so sending lots of sunshine and happy vibes your way!! Hang in there you will get through this difficult and stressful time and be the stronger for it!!

Diana

Veteran

(((Hugs)))

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down, Lyn. Good luck with the exam.

bj1111

Veteran

medical school sucks the major wang. no wonder you have these bouts of mdd. it's so common, i'm not sure it's a disorder or just a spectrum of normal. some have vitamin d deficiency, others have a dopamine deficiency. whatever.

you'll get through this. yes, studying for a standardized test in a few weeks is stressful. the remote possibility that you might not graduate is also stressful. but, you will get through this, fashionably.

where did you match?

morethanbeige

Veteran

Sending big hugs your way, lyn*. I have some personal experience with what you're going through. When I get depressed, my closet reflects my depression...nothing looks good! Glad to hear you are figuring out some things about it and talking it through. Good luck on your examination. Know that we think you're great, not to mention very stylish -- even when you are not feeling it.

Anonymous

Oh, that STINKS Lyn! We will have our fingers crossed that this all works out and you're able to finish up on schedule. I can't imagine how demoralizing it must feel to have worked so long and hard only to get this news. I'm glad you have someone who is helping you sort it all out. And please, step away from the pants! We don't want anyone getting hurt here! You are a fab mini-doc with style and before long you'll be helping others with what you learn from going through this crud. We love you!

Kari

Veteran

Lyn, wow, I completely understand feeling overwhelmed. The graduation situation sounds incredibly frustrating - I will be thinking of you in the coming weeks and hope the exam goes well. Some of my smartest friends simply do not/did not do well on standardized written exams despite knowing the subject matter well; yet they have done very well professionally in their chosen careers.
(I hate to admit that I was rather the opposite; before college I could usually skate by pretty well on exams but didn't know the specifics of the subject matter well. I didn't really learn to study until college and made it my priority.)

You strike me as being so grounded and intelligent (emotionally as well as intellectually) and I am hopeful that you will be able to graduate even if things don't necessarily turn out with the timing you have hoped for.

I'm very sorry that you have been experiencing depressions. You may have read here that this is something I struggle with too, especially (and most severely) this year, though I've spent the majority of my life since I was 12-13 in periodic severe depression. Since july 2011, it's been a day to day struggle to get out of bed and out of the house and I probably would not have made it through without talk therapy and medication. I really feel for you and hate that you have been going through it as well.

I hope that tracing out some of the patterns of your depression help you also find strategies to get through those periods, or even learn what you can do before bottoming out. Shopping & lack of creativity, lack of satisfaction with my wardrobe (and other things I usually like-favorite books, movies) and retreating from friends and family are all familiar warning signs for me. I'm trying to be more aware of those signs and also more communicative with loved ones to let then know if I'm having a hard time, and if I need anything (someone to listen, or some space to myself.)

I wish I could physically pass on a big hug to you and wish you well. I really hope you will find some relief soon. Please feel welcome to PM me if you need an ear, too.

Louise

Veteran

Sending big (((hugs)))

rae

(website)

Veteran

*vibe vibe vibe!*

Hugs to you, Lyn! I'm sorry you are down and going through all that beurocracy - it so stinks that there is only the one way to prove your competancy. Do you think it would help to dictate and record an oral presentation, and then just type it up? This is a trick that one of my good friends uses.

Thank goodness you have a shrink to talk to - I feel they can be so helpful, and yet very few people have them (at least around me). The insight into shopping and depression is very interesting; I know shopping and wielding clothing like a figure-flattering vorpal sword helps me feel more in control when I'm stressed. It makes sense.

Good luck with that paper - you can rock it!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Thank you so much fabulous ladies;

I have matched to the #1 psych program in the country! I am so excited! I am hoping that they will be understanding if I have to delay entry by a year - my school thinks this shouldn't be a problem (i.e. it would be like if I got pregnant and wanted to take a year off), but the ball will be in their court if I flunk and have to do an "extended learning year" - oh well, fingers crossed! I wouldn't be too disappointed if I got my #2 choice either (which are VERY willing to take me even after a year away).

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

lyn - I am sending a WHACK of hugs! I'm so sorry that you've got so much stress and negativity around you right now. I sincerely hope everything works out for you and will send you all sorts of good vibes.

jayne

Veteran

Good to hear you are getting help! I waited most of my life and had to be pushed into it by crises and I cannot describe the wonderful difference it makes to sort out those issues. You keep on and it will be worth it! And in the end, you will get into med school and that (possible) lost year won't hardly be remembered later!

Anonymous

Hi there,

I just want to send you my very best vibes :0
I hope you soon are in the upswing.

Meredith1953

Veteran

Sending the best vibes all the way from Idaho that I can.....I am sorry there is so much stress going on in your life. Life throws some curveballs at us that are really hard duck. Hopefully this will get better soon and we will see some more of your lovely outfit postings!

Sunita

Veteran

Lyn,

I know we're practically strangers, but I was thinking about you just yesterday! It seemed odd that we hadn't heard from you or seen your fab outfits in a while...

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time, but glad you have some help sorting through it.

Good luck with the exam do-over. Sending good vibes and positive thoughts up your way!

Best,
Sunita

Isabel

Veteran

Fab dress ! I can see you in it...including the pose.

I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. I am glad that you are talking to someone and that the two of you can recognize the early stages. It's a tough disease that many people don't understand is biologically based and that can bring its own struggles.

I agree and disagree on competent doctors. Well, I want competent doctors, of course, but I don't think that standardizes testing always reveals that. So 1% means nothing. I am sorry that you still have to go through that. One of my college roommates really struggled through school and she is one of the best pediatric intensive care nurses anyone can find ( she was also a kick butt ER nurse ) at a major teaching hospital. The younger docs go to her with questions.

The truth is that you have bummer stuff going on.....you should feel a bit down. Allow yourself that but keep moving on !

XXXXXXXXXX

Parsley

Veteran

Hi Lyn,
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through a bad time!
Med school is such a difficult and stressful time with all the exams, pressure, and exhaustion. I have confidence that if you keep plugging away you will do fine and be able to put it all behind you. I'm glad to hear that you have someone to help you deal with your depression and to get through this difficult stretch.

Wishing you all the best,
Marcy

MsMary

Veteran

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{lyn*}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Big hugs and gigantic vibes!!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this mishegas, and am sending you all my very best good thoughts and love and support!!

Mona

Veteran

Lyn,

I completely understand the unbearable stress that medical school can cause. My sister who is a doctor went through an episode similar to this when she was in medical school. I am currently doing my accounting designation (I also work full time and have a family to look after) and some days I am so stressed that I dont even want to wash my face in the morning. PLease know that this will pass and you will come out of it stronger, wiser and all the more stylish. Hugs!!!!

dottie

So sorry to hear you are going through this rough patch. I'm sure you will persevere and succeed in all you want to accomplish. Just a bump in the road. You will come out the other side stronger. Virtual hugs going out to you.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Lyn, lots of hugs and major mojo coming your way! Good luck with the exam and I'm sure you'll do fine. I'm sorry that you've been dealing with so much stress and with the depression on top of that. Med school is stressful enough even without depression. You are a strong and smart and caring person and I have no doubt you will be an awesome psychiatrist! Congrats on the great match result and I hope things go well with the exam and that you're feeling better soon!

BTW I think it's kind of funny actually that your marker for anhedonia is wearing pants. Keep wearing those fun flippy skirts and dresses--they are so happy looking!

missvee

Veteran

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I hope you continue to get all the help you need from your professional colleagues, as well as the love and support of your friends and family. We miss seeing all your great outfits here on YLF. I must admit I had a chuckle when you said you knew you were in trouble when you started wearing trousers - I bet that symptom isn't in many textbooks!! I hope you can stay positive about your situation - life is a road with lots of bumps and twists and all you can do is hang onto the steering wheel and move forward. Take care!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Aw Lyn, you have a special place in my heart because my BFF is a doctor and went through a lot of the same crap in medical school, residency, etc. I think a lot of people don't realize how hard these years are!

The good thing is you're getting help and working through it! You *will* be ok, in fact better than ok! I can tell you have a brilliant future in front of you. Keep it up, and we're here for you! Hugs to you.

Jjsloane

Veteran

Sending Big happy hugs, the best agnostic prayers and Buddhist good wishes (we are a very blended family here). Hang in there, you are in your prime and seem to have a good head on your shoulders so you can weather any storm. I truly believe all things happen for a reason and you will find something that is meant to be at the end of this all.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I'm not a doctor but had a similar thing happen in my program. I was a honors student. We had two practical exams a term that were do or die. If you did not pass with an average passing exam you flunked the course and were held back a year. I flunked a exam badly, and the only thing that saved my was my high score from the earlier exam. But for a few weeks I was completely distraught and thought I would be stuck another year. My instructor knew I was a good student and had complete faith in my skills, I just had one spectacularly bad exam.
I'm pulling for you.

Aziraphale

Veteran

How frustrating, Lyn! Best of luck with the upcoming exam. I'm sure you'll do well. Take lots of deep breaths. Is there someone, another mini-doc, with whom you can prepare? It might help you relax and see this exam as an opportunity to demonstrate how much you know and understand, rather than just another test to pass or fail. Sometimes that mindset can help.

Sending hugs and best wishes,
Elisabeth

lynn

Veteran

Prayers and hugs coming right at you! So glad you're not trying to deal with this alone! I know you'll be okay but it's awful while it's going on. Hang on; this too shall pass!

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