While I agree with Maya's initial comments starting this thread, I think a part of the "no way" reaction comes from people (such as me) who only see the new look showcased on a slim, tall, straight figure. That automatically makes me think that's the type it should be on as that is the example I am given.

It's not until I see the example on another body type that I'll start to change my point of view. I still do think that some looks will always just work on certain body types. For example, I have yet to find skinny cargo pants to work on my pear shape. This doesn't mean it will never happen but if it is already this hard, perhaps as they say, when you try too hard it isn't meant to be. And I'm sure there are looks that are easy for me to pull off but another body type would have a challenge doing so.

This whole line of thought reminded me of a post I read from Angie's archives where she pointed out that some dresses are just best for curvy figures and don't look as fab on the model-type body. I don't have much of a point here except to say that I really liked and appreciated that post as a concrete example where not everything is best on a straight up and down column.

Scarlet- you're right in that not every cut is best for every body type, however Maya is right in that we shouldn't dis a trend just because we don't think it will work for us.

I agree with what you say, Queenie. Mainly this post and Maya's comment on the blog just put me in mind of the dress post from Angie for some reason. I guess I brought it up because I liked that post so much. One thing I really like about this site in general is that it "allows" people to play with trends and doesn't stick too strongly to a formula that makes everyone look the same way. If I still don't make sense, I am sorry. I am just tired

This thread is loaded! And I wish I had the time to respond in great detail but I only have time to leave you with two thoughts:

1. YLF was started precisely because the world needs to understand that most of us can wear trends if we choose our pieces wisely AND wear them in a particular way. I'm not saying that we can all wear everything because that simply isn't true - especially after a certain age. But effective execution is everything - it comes before body type. I am the first person to say that you can when you think that you can't.

2. Fashion is for fun. Don't take it all too seriously. Keep an open mind, explore, experiment and enjoy the process of expressing yourself through what you wear.

Maya, you have come a long, long way. As Shana mentioned, I remember the time when you desperately wanted to be a straight rectangle. You loathed skinny jeans on your body when we thought they looked best! I am thrilled that you have accepted your fab bod over time. And quite frankly, its time we saw more pictures of your outfits!

Scarlet-Rosie, thanks for remembering that dress post. I hope Maya remembers it too

Angie, I loved that dress post. Scarlet, thanks for bringing it up.

Thanks to that post, when I look online for dresses, I notice which dresses don't look good on the models. Believe me, there are loads. The models just can't fill out certain shapes. If the dress looks horrible on the model, I know it will look good on me, and those are the styles I buy. 95% of the time, it works.

Glad you posted this, Maya. I too get sick of those comments. "OH, I'm not_____enough to wear that". Most times yes, it is, I am NOT:

1. thin enough, 2. tall enough, and then of course, 3. young enough.

The idea that it's "images" of tall and skinny...and young...models that are making us feel that way is silly. It's our own "self-talk" that denies us permission.

I don't hear you saying that everyone can wear everyTHING...no, we must be discerning. What I hear is simply: Enough with the "not enough" talk!

Very thoughtful post and replies. I appreciate every one of them.

I was born in the wrong decade. I grew up when Marilyn and Sophia were the ideal shape. I was always one of the tallest girls in my class and also one of the skinniest. I wanted to look like the petite hourglass cheerleader who lived down the street. I was extremely self-conscious about my body and it was hard to find ready-made clothes that fit me. I looked in the mirror and saw bony wrists hanging out of too short sleeve and bony hipbones that wouldn't hold up my skirts quite right. My Mom sewed most of my things so I rarely got to participate in the current must-have fads of the day.

It took me many years to get over the negative self-image. My mother didn't help--she had her own body issues. After the ideal body image began to change I still had issues--I'm not well-proportioned so even at 5'8 1/2" many things don't work for me. I like dresses, but finding a decent dress has always been a matter of serendipity. I could go on and on with a list of my mis-proportions.

Now I am getting negative messages that tell me I am too old--too old to care about fashion and clothes and looking good and why don't I just go get into my polyester elastic-waist pants and knit some booties?

There are some who claim that the fashion and beauty industries want to keep women from feeling good about themselves--if we were all content with our bodies we might spend a lot less money trying To Improve. I think there is some merit to this. I really appreciate this forum and also such blogs as Une femme d'un certain age and Passage des perles that help women to navigate the uncharted territories of aging in the 21st century.

Thanks for bringing up this topic, Maya. We can all learn from it.

YLF has helped me be more open to trying different styles. It has helped me intellectually understand what my body really is and what styles are likely to work best. But it has not helped me with body image issues. That's an inside job and I've not conquered those demons. I'm 5' 10" and a size 6 rectangle with a 36 inch inseam. That's not far from the supposed ideal. But it doesn't feel that way many times. I think the forum reactions are honest manifestations of the issues so many women have.

Maya, I couldn't agree more! In fact, I often loathe the models because, darn it, I can't see what it looks like on a more common type of body! That's why I love fashion bloggers who try all the cool new things but aren't stick skinny! Blue Collar Catwalk inspired me to be more open to harem pants, for instance.

Kudos to Prada for her big busted models recently, BTW.

Edited to retract my comment until I figure out what is I am trying to say...

Angie-
I thought it was really interesting that you placed fun first, instead of paying attention to body shape first. A lot of fashion books say the opposite, but I think that's why I like your approach. Since I'm far from the ideal body type, there are all sorts of styles that I "shouldn't" wear. I've found, through YLF, that trying different styles doesn't have to be traumatic, and it doesn't have to involve publicly humiliating myself. Whenever I've been uncomfortable with a particular look, I fall back on the "only on tall skinny models" line. But, I've seen all sorts of ylf-ers with regular bodies wearing things that I never thought would work - and they work. I even wear some of those things now. I'm not saying that we should all try all looks, of course, but I really appreciate that fun and creativity is put before rules about what body shapes should wear what.

Maya, you've really started a thought provoking discussion. Before YLF I wouldn't have tried skinny jeans or tunics and leggings. Now I love both. For me, a big part of the appeal of YLF is seeing the array of body types irl rockin' the trends. There are still things I won't wear; maybe for good reasons, maybe not. Small steps.

Getting to know what flatters your body type takes time. YLF has helped us all enormously. Trying trends is a good thing but being realistic and discerning is also a good thing. I am a slim rectangle, not that tall. OTK boots look silly on me because my calves are too much shorter than my thighs (does that make sense?) They hit at a weird place, I am not crazy about them on many body types. I do think height is important and slim thighs along with shorter skirts. It is a proportion thing. (I know some will hate me for that.) It is an opinion aabout what I think works visually for that particular style. Proportion is the key to all types of dressing and adjusting proportions is an art. I think it would be great if designers showcased collections for varied body types. They may be doing that with plus size models who look great in many trends!!!

Tarzy- I think you hit the nail on the head- loved your comment!

My pleasure, Lena. And I forgot to say to Maya that I'm chuffed that YLF has helped you too.

Actually Christine, I didn't put fun before body type - I put *effective execution* before body type. At the end of the day - it's HOW you wear something that counts. As Jean says - fixing proportions is an art. While having fun with the execution is YLF's number one rule

As I have said many times, everyone has fit issues. Models find it hard to fit mainstream clothes as everything is often too short in the rise and length. The only reason things look like they fit is because they have been made especially for them, or pinned in place. I have worked with lots of catalogue, cat walk and fit models and I’d have never believed it until my experiences.

I’d love us to be accepting of ALL body types - and that includes models! Slim people are real people too

To follow up on my earlier comment and piggyback a little bit on Greenglove's post, I wanted to add that I think there are many roads to body acceptance.

For me, that road actually started with understanding how my general body type and specific mish-mash of proportions could benefit from wearing Silhouette A, X, and P; Arm/Hem Length B or Q, or Shoe Style C, Z, and R over other choices.

It really did make me realize it was what I was WEARING was exaggerating proportions or parts that I didn't want exaggerated or hiding areas best uncovered if I wanted to create a more balanced look.

Of course I am open to trying other options and playing with proportions to see if I can get to either one of my personally-defined "best looks" or a r runner-up.

But there are only so many proportions (aka TRENDS) out there.

And while at 40+ I haven't tried them ALL, I feel sure I've tried enough to know when I won't touch some with the proverbial 10-footer, when I can run towards others, and when (often after trying it on) I have to like a style enough to accept that even tweaking will result in a "non-personally-defined-best-look."

And I actually think most (not all) of us with current or residual body image stuff are much more objective about *other* people's bodies; that's how we often come to think, "hey, that looks great on her -- I think I'll try that!" which is so great!

Obviously the more we -- as a society and individuals -- expand the range of bodies we're exposed to in various styles, the better. However, just as we really are *all* entitled to experiment and play with fashion/style, we're all entitled to find certain things visually appealing and certain things not.

All that to say that I don't think I'm in need of a consciousness raising party or broken or idolizing "Skinny, Tall, and Straight" bodies just because I sometimes don't care for something on a body that is less S, T, or straight. [And vice versa.] Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar....

I'm one of the commenters who said I'd leave OTK boots to my taller friends. Will I wear them? No. Because I'm 5'2" with 15 inch calves. Even if I could find a pair that fit, I think the proportions would look silly on me. The tunic I'd be wearing over my skinny jeans would cover the top of my boots!

I still feel that some trends do look better on taller women, or at least differently proportioned women.

One of my taller, skinnier, rectangular friends who I'd think could wear whatever she wants mentioned to me that her husband points out curvy women like me and asks her if she could ever look like I do. I was shocked, because in my mind, her body would be considered ideal.

I guess 'the ideal body' depends on the person you're talking to.

You have all written such great posts here and I can't do them justice right now with time restraints, but really quick:

-This post isn't about being able to wear whatever you want. No one can wear everything, models included. It's about being open to trying new things and understanding how to make them work for you. I can't wear certain things the same way as a 6' gazelle might, but I can wear them my own way. Isn't that what style is all about? The same 6' tall gazelle also can't wear what I wear, believe it or not. I can wear all the short dresses and skirts that are in abundance now and look perfectly appropriate, well proportioned, and tasteful. Likewise, a plus size gal can wear wonderful, fun statement jewelry that would be like an anchor around my neck.

-It's also not about simply not liking something. I don't like denim shirts so I haven't partaken in that trend, but it's not because I don't think I could pull it off.

-In the end if we truly believe everyone can look beautiful just the way they are, we need to have conviction. It can't just be fluff. The best way to accomplish that is to be living proof. That's why we have to try and embrace new things and not dismiss them up front simply because we are buying into the marketing image of beauty. Again, this isn't about what you don't like aesthetically. When you DO like something but are avoiding it just because of your body, you need to confront your own uncertainty head on. Some things will work out and some things won't, but you'll never know if you don't try.

-I won't lie and say I am 100% happy with myself. I don't think anyone is, and I think we will all always have our personal ideals. That's okay. I don't think we should be delusional or overconfident. But I don't lose sleep or deprive myself of having fun with fashion because I don't quite meet the ideal I have in my head. I don't like my chest or waist and I probably never will, but I'm over it. I won't let that stop me from enjoying fashion or make me feel bad.

I have only been a member for a couple of weeks but I would never have thought i would go about showing my waist...I used to wear all my shirts untucked and sweaters carefully placed over my tummy. Since being on this site, I have learnt to place things in a certain way so I can wear lots of things I wouldn't have thought to wear before.
And i do agree that we are harder on ourselves than other women. I can appreciate the beauty of women of all sizes but its taken longer to be so accepting of myself....just how we are I suppose.

Why stop at tall and thin? Because it doesn't end there. There are so many things we need to overcome as women that it's daunting. You must be tall, you must be skinny, you must have long hair, you must be young, and let's not forget that you must have considerable money to buy even one item in Vogue.

I will agree with other posters who have said that if the fashion industry gave us attainable goals then we wouldn't spend billions of dollars trying to reach them. I wish it was only clothes but it's not. It's shoes, hosiery, jewelry, accessories, the right kind of wallet, the right keychain, the right undergarments. And where do I begin with beauty treatments? Make up, skin care, teeth whitening, ear piercing, hair removal, spray tans, nail care, and hairstyling.

Let's face it ladies, the fashion and beauty industry is out to sell us a fantasy and a line of products. The fashion industry would not exist if we all felt confident and beautiful - it's the only way that they can stay exclusive and get us to buy products. Fashion and beauty have their place in all of our lives but beauty and confidence come from within. Women who are confident can make any look work.