Silly Q: Another Stylish Girl at Work... - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Silly Q: Another Stylish Girl at Work...

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

This is a silly question, but has been bugging me a lot over the last week, so I was hoping that my lovely YLF ladies could help me out with the thinking a little bit.

There is another girl at work who is very stylish - very business bombshell type of dressing, with a rather different bodyshape than me, but she does stick to a uniform - usually a blazer, some type of blouse, and a pencil skirt.

Now, I find myself only wearing pencil skirts when I know she won't be around. Is this being really silly? There's TONS of people at the hospital and I bet TONS of them wear pencil skirts, but whenever she is around, I feel very intimidated by her style and want to just wear a sack and hide in the corner.

This is silly, right?

I can wear a pencil skirt or whatever the heck I want around her, yes?

Dressing

45 replies

Latest reply was from RoseandJoan

cinnamon fern

Veteran

Yes. She does not own the copyright on pencil skirts Seriously - blazer + pencil skirt is such a standard professional-woman outfit that nobody would think you're wearing a version of the same outfit as her. Just enjoy having a stylish colleague! The more style in your workplace the better I say.

cloud9

Veteran

Yes, wear your pencils in stride, whenever you want! You totally rock them, as with all your outfits!!!

Glory

Veteran

Lyn yes wear all of your items because you are fabulous! Don't let this get in your head! Enjoy!

Anonymous

lyn, you can run with the big dogs! Make friends with her, you'll have lots to talk about. Don't be intimidated, and of course you can wear what she wears. Have we seen you in pencil skirts lately?

ElleH

Veteran

Wear whatever you want. Pencil skirts at work are common, even if at your workplace they are not & only she wears them it will not look like you are copying her.

Mona

Veteran

Exactly why don't you want to wear pencil skirts when she is around? Do you think she looks better in them than you do? or do you think she is too confident in that style? Once you know exactly what it is about her outfit that bothers, solution will come to you easily.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Crikey, when I had to go to a conference I wore a pencil skirt, blazer and a white button down. The kicker is in the details. My blazer was a Isabel Marant navy double breasted with red trim and gold buttons. That's what made the outfit interesting. You need to find your spin on the formula and make it your own, so that you stand as your own fashion entity.

unfrumped

Veteran

I agree that while you can get reassurance here, it might help if you know what bothers you. In general, though, if you enjoy fashion it's to your advantage that there are others who sport some nice outfits as then the spotlight is not on you.
Remember not to judge each of your own outfits harshly, or you won't have fun! Yours are already terrific! Enjoy what others wear and get ideas without feeling you've made any faux pas.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Thank you for your thoughtful responses - it hasn't really occurred to me why I don't really wear pencil skirts as often.

Oh, we are really good friends, and we go shopping together a lot - but I rarely buy anything, because any place she goes I can't afford to buy things on minor sale or at regular price - but it's still fun!

I do feel less confident when I do wear pencil skirts because I think they make my belly stick out - but I think they look okay if I wear heels. I have worn a few more pencil skirts in the last week or two because I know she's on holiday :p

Marlene

Veteran

Oh wear the darn pencil skirts! Pencil skirts are as basic as jeans. (And maybe she doesn't wear items that YOU wear because she is intimidated by YOUR style?)

ironkurtin

Veteran

When she wears jeans do you not wear jeans?

Wear whatever you want! It's only strange when two people wear the exact same thing.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I think you need to minimise the negative effect other people have on your perception and build your confidence from within. You are a beautiful woman with a quirky, retro and somewhat whimsical style but you need to believe it too.

Anonymous

I agree -- you have your own style, and your interpretation of a pencil outfit is going to be different than hers. She doesn't own the look!

Confidence can't be given, but I really hope you begin to see how lovely you look and how great an eye you have for your own style.

Curve of the belly = attractive in my book.

Anonymous

Lyn, I don't know how to say this, other than to say it. I think you should not let others' appearance permeate you so much. I am just recalling the other thread where you asked about the friend, who photographs well. I think part of having a great style is to be able to be confident next to any other woman, well dressed or not. Who cares what she is wearing? Wear what YOU want!

Isabel

Veteran

Lyn, that would be like Twiggy not wanting to wear a mini dress around Cindy Crawford. ( hmm...you might not know who they are ..)

Or Taylor swift not wearing a pencil skirt around Kim Kardashian. Two different people, two different looks, two different ways of wearing something.

You are beautiful. Wear your pencil skirts any time you like, Doctor.

kkards

Veteran

Lyn. Please remember that fashion is not a contact sport, it's not a competition. No one else is keeping score, and you shouldn't be other.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I think knowing that I shouldn't be affected by people around me is different than actually not being affected by people around me ... :p But I get what you're saying.

lol, I know who Twiggy and Cindy Crawford are - I'm not that young. I do also know who Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian are! HAHA. Pop culture is part of my job. I'm still trying to figure out who One Direction are, though! :p

rae

(website)

Veteran

Ok, your new homework assignment is to wear a pencil skirt around her. You look too fab in them to stop for anyone!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

After you do it once or twice you will never give it another thought.

Mochi

Veteran

What Zap said. I can add a third issue, where you stopped wearing clothes that you saw overweight people wearing. Seriously, you will be much happier if you can get over these things. You look great in all your clothes so don't worry about other people!

pil

Veteran

She is not the boss of the pencil skirt - her body simply wears them in a different way. You look terrific in them and make them yours with your own unique style. You can do this!

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

I could understand if it's the exact same piece (like a uniquely patterned dress) not wanting to wear it if she does, but a whole category of clothes? Don't let someone else's fashion choices dictate what you will or won't wear! I think you are too sensitive about other people's and your own appearance. Trust me, your tummy is svelte! And physical appearances are not contagious. I think you said before you wouldn't wear something if you saw someone older or fatter wearing it, right? Would you not wear something if you saw me wear it? Because I'm older and fatter than you, LOL!

Wear your fab wardrobe with pride! Anyways, she probably is the one admiring (or even intimidated by) your style!

FlorenceFearne

Of course I agree that no one has the market cornered on pencil skirts, and that anyone can wear whatever they like, regardless of what someone else may have on. But I don't want to take the tone of, "well, you're being silly; just quit feeling like that."

I think the issue isn't whether you look fab to someone else (I'm sure you do,) but that you're so worried about one area that you lose faith in the look. Maybe you could consider some of the suggestions made by Mona and Anna to make the style your own, until you feel so confident that you really don't care what that other girl has on. For example, if you're worried about the way your tummy looks, how about a peplum top that skims over the area, or even an asymetric/waterfall cardigan, that allows your derriere/legs/shape to show, but covers your front?

Adelfa

Veteran

Of course you can wear pencil skirts around her.

To take a slightly different tack--sometimes when I'm around people who wear looks that I wear, and wear them well, it makes me feel a bit contrary. It makes me want to wear an entirely different look. Sort of change things up and show I can look good in another way. Does that make any sense? So Business Bombshell wears a pencil skirt, you're like Well I can rock a flared skirt. This is likely just me but I thought I'd share!

rachylou

Veteran

So this is a feeling I understand. For me it's a "get your own life, let's not be tweedle dee and tweedle dum" feeling.

But I once knew this guy (we call him the flat-liner, don't ask) who dated a girl who took hours to dress and made them late to the charity ball. Well, when they got there, she saw another girl in the same dress and wanted to go home. She got whiny and he got mean.

Anyways, let me say there's ettiquette for this. When this happens, there's nothing for it - don't waste time on going home or avoiding each other - form a club. This is the correct thing to do. And I'm not kidding either. You should take a picture together.

Sadly me and my neighbor form the Quirky Heathers, wearing Japanese dollar store ear warmers, eating BelVita biscuits, and sporting aprons outside.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Rachy, you mean this?

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Glory

Veteran

Haha Lyn - if you lived in my house I can promise you would know who One Direction is. How many posters can fit on one wall - well over 600 eyeballs worth.....

Nicole D

Veteran

Wouldn't it be funny if she had a closet full of fit and flare dresses that she only wears when you are not around? Very Fringe.

rachylou

Veteran

Lol, Julie. Rather like. Except obviously they are Cool Heathers.

12