should take a shopping break - YouLookFab Forum

Not that I'm buying much at all, but I'm still spending too much time online, putting things into imaginary carts...I should be giving it a rest. I think it's partly the feeling that I'll be missing out on SALES! and also that lack of PATIENCE being discussed now in Shannon's post.

I have enough to get by on at this point. I got my layering garments. I have enough shoes and boots for now. I could still use an outdoorsy coat, and should keep looking for that.

I'm feeling remiss about the coat I recently bought, right before I fractured my shoulder. I had been feeling so much pressure to buy something, it was nice and on sale and seemed to fit and I quickly bought it...and afterwards with everything that was going on, didn't have a chance to review the purchase (and cut the tags).

It's too big. At least it's too long in the sleeves. I should have noticed this. I didn't like any of the coats in L&T's petites section and this one seemed to fit great...and now I see that I was sloppy.

It's still a durable, elegant coat, didn't cost that much and hopefully by this time next year it will be way too big and I'll be donating it. I just feel like I wasn't being mindful enough in considering it.

In other news, during the latest purchases of wardrobe staples I got various orders of layering and other tees from BR, J. Crew and Ann Taylor. I'm looking at a pile of tees folded up in a pile on the floor of my bedroom. And I'm thinking...ugh. I'm so sick of tee shirts. So over them.

I'll always need to hang onto some, especially in summer when we're active and I'm continuing to learn to sail (which involves occasional capsizing). Other than that, please get me away from t-shirts. But they've always fit me much better than blouses, because of the chest gaping. Let's hope this resolves with weight loss, but if slim women on YLF are complaining about the issue, will I ever be able to avoid it?

My wardrobe blues...I believe I'm in this tricky style limbo stage where I can now do a serviceable Casual-Nice, but I am still far from achieving whatever my real style's meant to be...and my limited wardrobe is allowing me to dress in a sort of uniform, and that's frustrating...but I think I need to sit tight and figure out whatever body shape I'm ultimately going to be working with, and put my money and energy into it at that point. Patience, sigh.

I should just deal with my hair, LOL.

14 years ago

jayne

Veteran

You want to feel fab now! You want to look in that closet, put together an outfit that fits and flatters the body you have. And you want to wear that outfit out, get complimented and feel good about yourself. Which makes you feel like a person who is fantastic as you are. And then after a few months that outfit does not work because you shrunk out of it, you will sadly say goodbye and put together a new great look for the new body. Don't wait to look good, or feel good. You deserve it now (and the learning you do now will still be valid when you are smaller and you save money then making fewer wrong purchases if you already know your style) . Good luck.

Makrame

I am with you on needing a shopping break. Too much time spent looking at "imaginary shopping carts" sounds familiar. I have been buying and returning a lot so I am getting sick of always having boxes on the floor of my closet. I took the last batch of empty shipping boxes out of my closet yesterday and was very relieved; however, I still have one more order coming in.

As far as the coat is concerned, is there any way you could return it?

As for the tees vs. shirts, I am getting away from t-shirts simply because it is hard to find t-shirts that don't show every apple-y bit on my body. I have some problems with shirts gaping in front but I found that soft woven shirts (polyester, silk etc.) work better than button-downs, and I have also bought a couple of woven tops that don't have any closure in the front (woven cowl neck tops from Target). Those are so much better than t-shirts and don't have the gaping problem at all.

It's good to know that you already have a serviceable wardrobe for most things you need to do; that's a big step forward, isn't it? Good luck!

nicoleb

(website)

This and Feb. are great months to take shopping breaks in my opinion. We (hopefully) only have a couple months of winter yet, it's too early to buy for spring if you like to wear things right away. Yes there are a lot of great sales but if you're trying to not shop then...think that they're sale stuff of things stores are trying to get rid of because nobody wanted them. (does that help?)

Mochi

added coat pic. blazer is underneath

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Why not take that break and join us on SYC? If nothing else, it will force you to get creative with what you do have. And that time spent on hunting down the perfect clothing item would be freed up to . . . . go for a walk, or cook a new healthy recipe!
It sounds like shopping is frought with frustration for you right now. A break might relieve you of the stress and when you do jump back into the ring it might be with renewed vigor and a more joyful experience as a whole.

Great ideas, all! Mo, LOL, the problem is that there is that occasional shopping score that elevates the whole process (YES! It was worthwhile!) I think behavioral scientists found that when you fed dogs or responded in whatever way only...I think it's 30% of the time, or some low number, you will have them repeating the behavior more than if you rewarded them amply. (So IOW, only replying to one out of four of a guy's calls/emails will make him pursue you more than if you consistently replied....perplexed, they try harder to figure out what it is they need to do to get that rare successful result!)

Wow, talk about rambling off-topic, but the point is it hasn't been all frustration, or even mostly frustration--I've procured some nice things, enough to keep me challenged and motivated, and had a lot of fun. But I think shopping is definitely a drug to some degree and with certain types of people (raises hand).

I think I should do a version of SYC with you all for a while. Maybe getting a casual, sporty coat and some socks to replace my hole-y ones...is that okay?

Yes, the amount of time that would be freed up is embarrassing to contemplate.

cheryl

I don't have any great wisdom to share so i'm sending you a hug!

Astrid

I get that you're tired of dressing in your uniform and are therefor more prone to make rash shopping decisions, it was the same for me. I also bought some things that were clearly mistakes, although most of the time the decisions I made based on the advice I got here were the right ones. I think it helps that I don't have that much budget to work with, so I'm automatically more careful when it comes to taking the plunge. I still have so much to replace in my wardrobe it isn't funny. But I realised I can live with wearing my uniform quite well, because I have enough accessories to change it up. I don't have that many bottoms or tops, but I pair them with all my different scarves, belts, fun tights, bracelets and necklaces. That way I'm not feeling like I'm in a rut and can wait with purchasing until I find exactly what I like. Maybe you should invest into some new accessories to wear with your uniform to take the pressure off?

Angie

Fashion Stylist

I LOVE the coat! It needs shorter sleeves, but the style is brilliantly flattering! Well done, Mochi!

This process must stay fun. By all means take a break and relax into it

Amy

Oh, Mochi, I'm right there with you on being impatient to make changes. I don't have any brilliant advice, because shopping is my drug right now too.

Astrid's suggestion of making your "uniform" more fun with accessories is a brilliant one. And, yes, get yourself some socks and a cute jacket and then relax for a bit

I like your new coat a lot. I bet if you have those sleeves shortened a bit, you'll feel a lot better about that purchase!

Vix

Hi Mochi --

Look at you, Ms Fast-Tracker!

When I first started trying to figure things out, I think looking more put together (if bland) was exciting for oh, about 2 years. You're clearly in the Advanced category, so I have no doubt if you just give yourself a little time to absorb you'll be making your next leap.

Re the coat: Sounds like there are two options: See if you can return for store credit or tailor it to fit you a bit better. Don't settle for as-is!

Sleeves are an easy do-now fix, and even the spendier of my tailors said he could nip in a coat through the torso for $35. Though the coat doesn't look particularly large on you, you could explore that if you wanted now and/or down the line.

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