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Shopping was rough today

cindysmith

Veteran

I've been on the hunt for a few pieces to add to my wardrobe to make it more job interview appropriate. It has not been easy, to say the least.

With fall approaching, and hopes for a job that doesn't require disposable clothes, I wanted to pick up a few shirts/blouses with sleeves, and a pair of trousers that didn't have skinny legs.

Pants were easy enough. Got a pair of EF trousers in a dark denim blue (they're not denim, just denim colored, and freaking comfortable beyond words). I also still have the black silk ones I bought as an option for my sister's wedding, i just need to find a tailor and get them fitted perfectly.

Shirts? Blouses?

HA.

Not so easy. Between my stagehand muscles and the weight gain, I wound up shopping in the plus section. Everything with sleeves in "straight size" felt like a boa constrictor had started swallowing my arms. Also, tight across my upper back/shoulders. Annoying, to say the least.

It was discouraging to not be able to find shirts with sleeves that didn't cut off any circulation. I was getting discouraged and considering giving up and coming home and crying myself to sleep.

Then I remembered all the discussions I've seen & joined. Discussions:
* About the seeming randomness of women's clothing sizes.
* And the way some designers just don't seem to understand a female body.
* how some brands will work for me and some just won't.
* and all the times Angie has said to have patience because "you just haven't found the right ____________ (insert garment here) for YOU yet"

So I carried myself to plus size and started trying things on.

I did come home with a few shirts, and I'm not going to let it bother me that some are plus sized. Because women's clothing sizes have as much to do with the size of women's bodies as a bag of flour has to do with Saturn's rings. I'll probably have to alter things at the waist section of my torso, and that's ok. A well fitted garment just feels good, regardless of what insanity the tag is spewing LOL

So even though I didn't post about it until it was over and I was home staring at the pile of clothes I need to hang, you guys helped me through a major shopping crisis today. You guys are what derailed the imminent meltdown. You guys are freaking awesome!

Now, could somebody come hang up my new clothes?

Shopping

42 replies

Latest reply was from cindysmith

Becky

Veteran

Kudos to you for pushing through the discouragement and persevering! I'm proud of you!

rachylou

Veteran

Good for you. The size on the label really does mean nothing. You have to try stuff on. And I’m telling y’all, I go into the maternity section, yes I do.

cindysmith

Veteran

Becky, thank you!
Rachylou, thats so funny! I accidentally bought a tunic sweater from the maternity section (it was on a regular size clothes clearance rack) and even after I realized it was maternity I kept wearing it because it was cute and comfy

Roberta

Veteran

I have had the constrictive arm experience myself and was like, WTF? The rest of the sweater is fine but the arms are for tweens? So your loss, BCBG, you don't get MY money today. I'm so glad all of those affirmations we repeat to ourselves have paid off for you too!

kkards

Veteran

How fab that you found pants that you love!
I often wonder if pants are easier because we understand and are usually willing to tailor them. Tops on the other hand, not so much, so we are more depends on an off the rack fit. Or maybe I’m just projecting my issues!

Windchime

Veteran

Aw, I’m sorry you were nearly brought to tears. But I’m super impressed that you talked yourself out of it and managed to find some things you can use.

I have the opposite fit challenge from you—I can easily find tops, but shopping for pants, skirts, and dresses can drive me to despair, so you have my sympathy. Also, even I, with wrists so small I can hardly wear bracelets and watches, have experienced the crazy-narrow-arm phenomenon. Who exactly are these clothes designed for???

Good luck with the interviews!

JAileen

Veteran

I’m sorry you were so frustrated. Did you consider knits? I don’t have any specific recommendations, just that knits are a little more forgiving and comfortable. I haven’t got any muscles to speak of, but I always have a problem with fit across my upper back. I feel constricted in woven tops.

I hope your job search goes well.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m glad you found some things that work, but boy do I know how frustrating that can be! I more typically have trouble with pants fit (pro tip, sizing up rarely if ever helps ease the fit on the thighs, so just give up already, Janet), but yes, I’ve run into the crazy weird sleeve/tight shoulder thing too — and I’m narrow across the back! I tried on a a few button-front tops not long ago that had the weirdest issue — when my arms are hanging at my sides, it looks fine. But the least movement of my arms seems to render the front of the shirt inadequate, and the buttons gape and the shirt pulls across my chest above my boobs! I just can’t figure it out, except to conclude that most tops are made for someone with very small boobs. That is, not me. I’ve learned to ignore those brands and move on.

cindysmith

Veteran

Roberta, yes yes and yes! It's like Iris Apfel says, something about designers and their clothes for 18 year old bodies and 70 year old women don't have 18 year old bodies and 18 year olds don't have 70 year olds dollars. What is WRONG with them?

Oh, kkards, pants are hard for me too. I got super lucky with these EF ones. Usually, I understand I'm going to have to buy to fit my arse and tailor to fit my waist, but getting pants that are long enough? I struggle. Some talks work, but others have a really tall person rise going on and the waistband gets real intimate with the underwire in my bra LOL

Ok, windchime, I actually feel better about it. If YOU are struggling and you have tiny arms, then you have confirmed that it's most definitely the clothes and not just me.

JAileen, knits are my best friend most days. I just haven't found one that felt "formal" enough for a job interview. Not yet, anyway. I do have an EF jacket and a CAbi blazer that are knit and super forgiving, so at least that's sorted or I really would cry LOL. I'm not looking for a job that requires formal/professional attire, so knits will probably be my saviours after I get hired

cindysmith

Veteran

Janet, same here. Why do the buttons of an XL shirt gape across my bewbs when I move my arms? Spandex doesn't help solve that problem, so it has to be the way the shirts are designed and cut. Like, are they making them based on man patterns and then just adding darts for the waist? Its bizarre.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

feel your pain, so, so, so much

Gretchen

Veteran

Congratulations on pushing through - I know exactly how you feel!

Much more important for you to be comfortable and confident in your interview, than worrying about if the clothes fit. And i guarantee the interviewer won't ask your size!

Kudos for a happy, full wardrobe - share pictures so we can ooh and ahh on your fab purchases!

Lucy

Veteran

I'm glad you got through this!

The arm thing is weird, though. I am sure I never used to have trouble with too-tight arms. I can recall having gaping buttons over my bust with some brands - and this has been consistent my whole life.

Yet the too-tight arm thing has only occurred in the last two years, without any obvious change in shape or weight. I'm sure I still have the same arms. And if i go up a size, it fits nowhere else.

WHY clothes designers WHY???

ChrisM

Veteran

Congratulations for talking yourself down!! It’s tough when you want to buy but there aren’t choices that you love!

I too have a broad back and absolutely HATED shopping for tops until I found lines like Duluth and Orvis that are made for women with shoulders and arms that work.

Now, they tend to be just a tad gearish, (and probably too conservative for your dystopian tastes). but if you’re careful there are gems. For example, Duluth has hidden “bust-proof” buttons on some of their shirts to deal with gaping. Orvis has beautiful silk blouses that have ease through the back. I am a “cusp” size and have been happy with the fit of both brands in their tops only. Pants are a different story....

I shop their sale stuff because I like the quality.

jussie

Veteran

It’s not you, it’s the clothes. A lot of trying on is required to find the stuff that fits correctly. That’s why I personally don’t shop online much because I know the ratio leans toward many more clothes NOT fitting than fitting, even in my “size”. And size charts? Next to useless.
Chris m: Duluth and orvis sound good.

cindysmith

Veteran

Annagybe, it DOES hurt. Thank you for the moral support!

Gretchen, I'll have to do an outfit lab soon. It's too dark in my house to be taking pics tonight, but I promise I'm coming to get opinions on outfits soon!

Lucy, it's got to be their way of saying they only want to dress the cool kids, without coming out and saying it like that donkey at Abercrombie did.

Chris, I'm definitely going to check into Duluth and orbis. Especially those silk blouses, because silk <3<3<3<3<3 thanks for the recommendation!

Jussie, I can get away with ordering knit tops online, but not wovens. Even knit pants can get tricky online, but I'll take a chance know and then. I'm definitely better off pants shopping in bricks & mortar.

Anonymous

seconding Windchimes comments about tight sleeves. I have arms that need bracelets made for children but have had the tight sleeves and even tops too tight in the chest although I take a 29 or 30 bra size band and am small boobed. It is the clothes. You can cut the size taga off so you don't have to look at them if you want.

cindysmith

Veteran

Joy, thank you for the moral support! I'm afraid to cut the tags out, because I've accidentally snipped a hole in a garment (more than once LOL) but I CAN ignore the tag

Gigi

Veteran

I'm another one with tiny arms (like Joy, I need child-sized bracelets, and my upper arms look like a ten-year-old's), and I have many times been surprised at how narrow arms are being made these days. Sometimes the arms feel tight even on *me*, so I can't imagine how people with normal-sized arms manage.

Jane

Veteran

I sometimes think that shopping is more like stalking. Good recovery from the low feelings.

Shame, shame, shame on our retailers.

I’m looking forward to the photos!

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I feel for you,having just spent days shopping for my teenage daughters school uniform.she s got the build of a cross channel swimmer so what fun we had trying to get shirts to fit!None of the school uniform shirts would fit so we ended up with a ladies shirt from M and S because they are cut to accommodate the female bits!I would totally ignore labels if I were you,sizing is so random these days.Cut it out if you don’t want to see it but no one else can see what size you are wearing,how it fits is way more important than the label as you know.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

“as a bag of flour has to do with Saturn's rings”
You crack me up!

Trouble finding shirts big enough for your muscles, but narrow enough for your waist? Yowza! Says lousy things about the clothes, but pretty awesome for your bod. Just sayin.

When do we get to see these gems? I really want to see the pants.

Sisi

Veteran

I so so so understand and agree with all what you say! "Bag of flour ..." hahaha! Very well said! Shopping has become a chore. But you came out victorious and brought home pants that sound fabulous and even some shirts. Hooray!

Mainelady

Veteran

Cheers to you for your perseverance! Finding the right sizes can be quite a challenge. I have a range of sizes in my closet and honestly have had to size up more often than I would have thought. I cut the size tags out. I am not going to be identified by a size label. I am petite, but have meaty upper arms and a large bust. Button down shirts are hard to find. They either gape at the buttons when I move, are too large on the shoulders, or gape at the neckline. Sigh. Rest assured that you are not alone.

Anonymous

Tight armholes are the worst! It really seems to be a thing these days, and paired with 6+ extra inches of volume in the body. Grr! I agree wholeheartedly with Jussie, its not you its the clothes.

Chris987

Veteran

Nodding vigorously! You had me at "waistband gets intimate with bra underwire". LOL!! That happens to me with a lot of pants. Up there in tuck-your-waistband-into-your-bra land. The high rise trend has just made it worse. Tight arms are an issue for me too.

GOOD FOR YOU trying plus sizes. The label is just some marketing person's decision, it has nothing to do with you.

And yes, it makes no sense that they are making clothes for teenage skinny bodies when it's the middle aged normal sized women who have the $$ to spend. Maybe those adult women are only buying clothes for their teenage daughters and not themselves, but the adult women probably have jobs to go to so that makes no sense either.

As everyone else said, it's not you, it's the clothing manufacturers. This whole frustrating situation is why I often return tot he same manufacturers once I find a fit that works, even if I'm sometimes less than thrilled with the styles they offer.

ChrisM, great suggestions on Duluth and Orvis. I just wish either of them made petite sizes but they do not. I'm going to give Orvis another look, I'll just skip over the fly fishing section and go right to the silk shirts

cindysmith

Veteran

Gigi, all you people with child size bracelets are making me feel like slapping some clothing makers. If y'all have tight sleeves then clothing makers are just plain stupid.

Shopping IS like stalking, Jane! (except this kind of stalking is legal LOL)

Cardiffgirl ,that has to be rough on your daughter. Sending her (((hugs)))

Fashintern, I wish! LOL. I remember the Olympic swimmer that got made over on "what not to wear", size 8 shoulders size 2 waist. I'm more like size 16 shoulders, size 10 waist, size 12-14 arse. Well, except when I'm a size 2x shoulder or whatever. Clothes sizes are silly like that

Sisi, I stole the bag of flour line from somebody on reddit

Mainelady & suntiger, thank you for the moral support!

cindysmith

Veteran

Chris987, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that there are women buying clothes for their daughters and not for themselves. We've been conditioned as women to put everything and everybody before ourselves. More insanity from marketeers.

Thistle

Veteran

*hugs* I am sorry it was so frustrating.

I do understand and feel the pain myself, regularly.

And remember, it's not you, it's the clothes. They are lucky to get to grace your amazing body.

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