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Shopping strategy?

Minnie

After posting my new shoe purchases on Jewell's Spring Shoe Purchase thread, I looked at my shoes and closet and realized that the vast majority of my shoes and clothes have either never been worn, or maybe have been worn only once.
I seem to buy items because I like the look, or the idea of them and not because they fit my life style. Like my shoe purchases so far this year. I did not need more sandals, especially with heels. I very rarely wear spiky heels. I don't even recall the last time I wore sandals with regular, non-wedge heels.
Last spring, while in Florence, I went to Etro and bought a dress, paisley jeans, a couple of t-shirts, a blouse and a belt. So far I have worn one of the t-shirts. Once.
Does anybody else do that? Ignore reality and shop for life in some alternate universe?
Right now I'm toying with the idea of not buying anything new until I have either worn the majority of items at least once, or donated them. Although, does that seem a bit drastic?
That should give me an idea what I actually wear and need?
Any brilliant ideas?
Thanks

Shopping

15 replies

Latest reply was from Mo

Jenny H

Veteran

I recommend giving Project 333 a shot. The idea is to drastically reduce the size of your wardrobe for three months. You don't actually have to use 33 as the number of items, and you don't actually have to get rid of things-- just box them up/get them out of the way.

I'm recommending this because it has helped me hone my style and have a better idea of what does work for me. Try it for 3-6 months, get that better idea of what works best, and then you can go back to a regular size wardrobe but hopefully with a refined sense of what is actually practical for you.

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

I think a lot of people do similar things. They like an item, it fits, and they buy it without thinking, "where am I going in this?" and "do I have anything that goes with this?" If you never wear a certain type of clothing - dresses, heels, whatever - it's unlikely that you will grab those items when getting dressed because for whatever reason they are not your style. I don't think it's a bad idea to try wearing those unused items at least once before doing more shopping. If they don't work for you, you can figure out why they don't work and that will help you when shopping in the future. Then you can say, I like dresses, but that dress was too full skirted or too dressy for my lifestyle or whatever the problem was and remember that the next time.

retailgirl

Veteran

Oh my goodness! Etro! I love their stuff. You must make an effort to wear them...the dress may be out of your comfort zone but try the separate pieces with things you feel comfortable in. But if they really won't work for you, consign them. I sometimes buy and buy, stuff I don't need. Maybe you need a shop your closet interval. I have done that, it helps, sometimes you rediscover things. Take an afternoon or morning to " play in your closet."...try things on in combos you might not ordinarily think of.

rabbit

Veteran

Personally I think your strategy of wearing them once and if you find that you really can't make something work donating/reselling them before buying new stuff makes sense, if only because it contributes to the learning process.

If you don't wear your buys, you don't have an accurate sense of what really works for you/looks good on you, so your future buys might be similarly slightly off compared to your needs or unfocused.

If you order a dish in a restaurant you have to eat it to see if it's really delicious or just looks that way on the menu.

Liz

Veteran

Funny, when I saw your post on the shoe thread, I was wistful: "Look at all those gorgeous heels. She must have quite a life to be able to wear so many shoes like that! I wouldn't have any place to wear those." : )

It sounds like you're falling for doing that thing we've all done: shopping for a fantasy life instead of the life you're actually living. Angie wrote about it here.

Jewell

Veteran

This is an excellent question, Minnie. And yes, I've made plenty of purchases that didn't get worn for one reason or another. I used to be an impulsive buyer and a habitual returner. These days I do try to shop with a plan.

My current strategy is to create two boards: one with wishlist items and the other with what I currently own. Then I think about how the wishlist items will work with what I have and whether or not they duplicate things I already own. The gold sandals that sat in my Zappos shopping cart (until they sold out) and then in my Amazon cart (until they sold out) remain on my wishlist because I honestly don't have anything to wear with them. I know for a fact that they'll be orphans, so I won't buy them until I'm sure they'll get worn. A few of the shoes that were posted on the spring shoe thread made my heart skip a beat and I've bookmarked the pages. But when I look at that board of what I currently have to wear for spring/summer, some of the shoes don't match my clothing or style, are too similar to what I already have, or are impractical for my nonglamorous life as a working mom who teaches elementary school (sigh).

I think your plan to SYC for a while in order to wear what you have is a good one. It' an invaluable learning experience. This post from last week's Link Love sure made me think about my tendency to buy more for the sake of having more: http://theviviennefiles.blogsp.....timal.html

Gigi

Veteran

We all do this, Minnie! I actually think that a little bit of fantasy shopping is good for the soul. It keeps our imaginations going and our style sense percolating. It's just when it gets to be too much that it drags us down and can get in the way of our everyday fashion.

I like your idea of shopping your closet and also of wearing everything before donating or consigning. And be sure to give yourself plenty of time! There are items that I have bought that at first I was upset with myself for buying them. But I kept them in my closet anyway. And surprisingly, I found that when the seasons would change, or the weather would change, or I wore a slightly different style of outfit, I was drawn to these "second-string" items. There was something about the color or style, perhaps, that wasn't calling to me at one moment but was calling to me the next.

I have also had items that I have gone back and forth on, loving them one day and hating them the next. Sometimes it's a matter of pairing the item in a particular way; the item might be ho-hum with one pair of pants but the perfect thing with another.

So I would recommend giving yourself plenty of time to marinate in your wardrobe and give your inner self time to let it digest what you have. Then you will be able to more clearly know what you need. I went through a period where I bought a lot of clothing in a short time (I was basically building a wardrobe from scratch), and now that I have settled down and don't buy as much, my true style is actually starting to take form.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think most of us have fallen prey to the odd "imaginary lifestyle" purchase. Sometimes through little fault of our own. For example -- let's say your life situation changes suddenly. You move across the country, you have a baby, you get a new job. It can be hard sometimes to adjust for what your new life requires. And easy to buy what would have worked really well for your old life.

But even without those big changes, we sometimes fail to consider what we actually do and what kind of clothes we need for it.

Angie's really helpful on this. I've learned from her to think hard about climate, what I feel most happy or comfortable wearing for my various tasks and roles, and then to break it down. How much you should spend for this, that, or the other depends to some extent on how much of your life you spend in the role that requires that article of clothing.

For example, I work from home in a small casual city. I wear denim almost every day, 3 seasons a year. So...it makes sense for me to spend a bit more for premium denim (if my budget allows) because why shouldn't I have great clothes for my regular life? Maybe I can save a little elsewhere. Like on the cocktail dress that I will only wear twice a year. Doesn't mean I have to buy a shabby one. But I can get a great one at a sale price.

Thanks to Angie and the forum, I can honestly say that there is almost nothing in my closet that I don't wear. True, there are a few things that I wear very, very infrequently -- maybe a couple of times a year. But those are pretty much all "special occasion" items. Most things are in very regular rotation.

Now, having said that, I am an eager closet purger and editor. If I'm not making use of something, I question myself quiet insistently on why, and if I am pretty sure it's just not going to work for me, out it goes.

I think it's a great idea to try wearing your clothes before deciding about consigning. As rabbit said, you need to know WHY you're not reaching for them, why they're not working for you, in order to determine what you need instead.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Like Suz says, Minnie, we all make "mistake" purchases sometimes. I think that's because some items connect us with our "fantasy life" -- i.e. the imaginary life that we want to lead but don't (usually for very good and practical reasons). For example, like you, I've bought quite a few high-heeled shoes that get little wear, mainly because these kinds of shoes make me feel a certain way -- glamorous, sophisticated, whatever -- but of course I can't wear them in my day-to-day life as a MOTG and university student, because (a) it's not practical to run around in high heels all day, and (b) I'd look like a loon. It just doesn't work with my environment. However, I have no intention of getting rid of my favourite heels. They make me feel so good the odd time I wear them that they're worth it. But I've learned to make such purchases carefully. Buying a pair of shoes and being mindful of the fact that they will get little wear is different, I think, than buying a pair of shoes and convincing yourself that you will wear them "all the time" in your daily life, when you know in your heart of hearts that you won't.

Anyway, why don't you try keeping track of what you're wearing for a few months? Sounds silly, but it will alert you to the kinds of things that you need more of. If you find you have beloved things that aren't getting worn, ask yourself why not. Are they uncomfortable? require unorthodox undergarments? too insulating? not insulating enough? too dressy for your environment (this is a common one)? Then challenge yourself to wear these items, or create a situation where you could wear them. Like pick out a pair of your favourite heels and make a date to go somewhere that you could wear them and not look overdressed.

Carla

Veteran

Oh! Yes! I am retiring in less than 2 years and actually put a pencil skirt in my cart and tried it on! I already own 5 pencil skirts! as well as other skirts and dresses that I do love and wear. For work.

After work and on weekends I wear jeans, or other casual pants, but I own just 5 pair of casual pants, and 2 are nearly worn out and only good for gardening. What I really need are beautiful casual trousers...and I need to put my shopping effort into finding them. Still, the siren's song of career wear draws me in...

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I think we've all been there - it's one of the reasons why so many of us are on YLF! There are various strategies that members have used - making lists of what to buy or not to buy anymore, limiting purchases by number or price, doing a SYC (shop your closet) period, tracking wear of items, doing something like Project 333....

I used to buy more for my fantasy life or the figure I wished I had but once I started buying things that I truly loved and that worked perfectly for me, I no longer wanted to fantasize as much anymore, you know? It's an evolving process, as Suz has suggested so wisely, because our lives are always shifting, and our aesthetic preferences can change, not to mention our bodies or our budgets.

One thing that I do that helps me is to make a plan for what I am going to wear. Otherwise I end up defaulting to jeans and a knit top when I am in a hurry in the morning. Recently I've restarted taking some time on the weekend to go quickly through my clothes, pull out anything I've been wanting to wear or haven't worn in a while, take a look at my calendar for the upcoming week, and then come up with outfits for each day. I'll pull everything together and/or write down a list so I'll remember, and then I'm good to go each morning. Sometimes I end up changing things up but it's a nice place to start.

Gennifyr

I haven't had that issue since my closet cleanout last year. I only shop from a list based on a set of standards (colour,style etc) and I only buy from the list after an item has been on it long enough for me to change my mind (1+weeks).

viva

Veteran

This happens to me for a variety of reasons -- buying for my fantasy life, buying impulsively, and dressing by habit and not intention.
I think you've got a great first step laid out in a shop-your-closet period. As others have noted, you'll be forced to look closely at your items and to give them a try. You may find that you really enjoy some pieces in ways you would not have imagined, and you may find that some are just not right for you for reasons that are important to understand. All of that will be good learning for future dressing and shopping.
Post WIWs during your shop your closet period and let us know how it is going!

Minnie

Thank you for your replies.
I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one doing it.
I'll have to look at project 333 and see if that is something to implement after a SYC period to determine my style and needs.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Oh, yes, been there done that. One of the hardest things really is shopping for what my lifestyle dictates rather than what I just find visually appealing. I'm boxing up mule sandals right now as a matter of fact because I just can't justify the 3.5" heel for a casual sandal. Love the look. Super sassy and would amp up my jeans outfits, but I have several shoes in this category already. I need to buy shoes I can walk in for fairly good distances. Such is my lifestyle. And so if I'm patient and heed that need for a lower heel, I will eventually find an awesome mule under 3" that I will actually wear instead of pass over because they're too high for my everyday life.
I like the idea of trying to wear everything you have at least once. See how you feel in the items. If comfort becomes an issue midway through your day. Or if you find you feel pretty fab in some of your nicer things you've been 'saving'. You won't know until you put then on and give them a test drive.