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Shopping musings

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

So I've being trying to reduce my shopping. In some respects I think I have, but probably not nearly enough. I want to save some money for a trip to Australia, hopefully next year.
I've been trying to be a bit more practical in what fits my current life, ie less 4" heels. I don't browse the stores often. In fact I haven't even been to the Totokaelo sale, though I browsed their online offerings.
I went to a pre-fall event at Nordies and pre-ordered this sweatshirt
http://31philliplim.com/shop/w...../color/280
It's pretty cool, but do I really need it? I have my Kenzo tigerhead sweatshirt, my blue leopard one.
So how you get off the need new fancy stuff train?

Shopping

34 replies

Latest reply was from Firecracker (Sharan)

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I don't know. I am still on it.

Gulp.

It could mean a media fast.....And I suppose if the desire for the trip is that strong, and the savings needed to make it happen, you will return stuff you don't really see wearing.

Windchime

Veteran

Can you allot a portion of your clothing expenditures to items for the Australia trip? (Sorry, that doesn't help with getting off the need new fancy stuff train, does it?!) I was just thinking it might make the trip seem more real and give you extended anticipation, which for me is a valuable part of travel.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Anna, that's the million dollar (or at least hundred!) question. I also want to reduce, but still find things. Thing is, I do think I've gotten a lot better at zeroing in on useful needed things vs. what I call 'pretties'. Those things that are beautiful to look at but maybe not appropriate for me and my lifestyle.
I know that you wear a uniform and when I do, I find I only 'dress' about 3 times a week. Maybe keeping that in mind can help you say no and remember that there's only so much opportunity to wear the awesome stuff you already have?

Gigi

Veteran

I like Suz's reaction: Gulp.

I'm still on the train too. I will offer a few things that may be helpful, as I have been musing over this for the last couple of weeks. First, it is the initial break that is the toughest. Once you get past that, it won't be so hard. So don't lose heart!

Second, I think it is helpful to replace the shopping experience with something else. A lot of us shop for emotional reasons (at least I do), so we can't simply stop. We need to have something to replace the shopping, so that our emotions still get the outlet they need. In my case, I was thinking about maybe spending more time doing my own nails or experimenting more with different looks with makeup (see Lisa Eldridge's videos online, for example). I already have an assortment of nail polishes and makeup, so that won't cost squat.

You could check out books from the library about fashion and read them instead of shopping. But I suppose this could go two ways: it could either let you get your fashion fix without spending a cent, or it could fuel your desire to shop further!

Can you go through your closet and consign anything? I just did that, and that took quite a bit of time. But it's still fashion related, and it will get you some money for your trip to boot.

One thing that I am starting to see is that the more stuff I buy, the less I get to wear what's already in my closet. I have some real favorites in my closet but haven't been wearing them as much as I would like because they get passed over in favor of the new stuff. If I want to spend more time wearing my favorites, then I need to stop adding to the stuff in my closet. Would thinking about your shopping in this light be helpful?

ETA: I wanted to say that in regard to the initial break being difficult, if you can find something to replace the shopping for maybe a month, you might find that you have successfully passed any "withdrawal" stage. Shopping, for many of us, is a habit, and if you can break the habit by substituting another one, you will find saying no much easier, I think.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Yeah, I'm the last one to ask about getting off the new fancy stuff train. But you know Anna, I've come to the conclusion that for me, it's not about buying less/spending less necessarily. It's about buying smarter. And I've done this with some purchases lately that are fitting the bill for comfort, work for both casual and work attire (depending on styling), and still make me feel stylish (although not as trendy - which is not as important as it used to be). So all in all, I've probably spent more than I should have but I'm happier with what I've purchased and feel good about the items.

carter

Veteran

I don't know how to force a stop, but I can tell you that I'm pretty much there. I have two things on my "need" list and nothing on my "want" list. It's been at least a year since I've been at this point. I'll post about it when I get home from Europe and wrap my head around what changed for me, but at the moment, the best I can do is say that I've been living out of a suitcase for 16 days and loving my options. I packed my favorite things. I bought some more favorite things (mostly in Paris). I can't wait to get home to purge the things that don't measure up. I'm in London now, surrounded by anything I could possibly want (and can buy anything I want). Yet, somehow, I feel done. My husband keeps looking at me like I've been invaded by body snatchers or something. Very weird. I'm going to St Louis the end of next month to have a shopping week with a girlfriend. Normally I would have a list a mile long. Nude sandals and a replacement black belt would be great, but I can't think of anything else I want. I wish I had some brilliant advice. If I figure it out, I will certainly share.

Echo

Veteran

Ugh, I always have the very best of intentions, but my willpower lasts about a month and then I'm back to the same habits. And worse yet, June/July is somehow my jewelry-buying season and I end up buying one major piece a year at this time, so I really HAVE to stop buying other things. I have a piece in mind that I've been eyeing for months and I am somehow convinced that even though it hasn't sold yet, that it WILL if I don't get it now. Hello, irrational!

I am focused more on exercise and health, though, and summer gives me the opportunity to bike and hike and go for long walks, so I am trying to limit my time browsing (which surely must lead to fewer purchases). Saving for a trip is a worthwhile goal, though. Would actually writing up a budget help? Doing that tends to make the money I spend more "real" if that makes any sense.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Raises hand slowly. I find that what helps me is to put the money I was going to spend in a separate account. I went on my trip to Washington and New York because of this I was able to have a great time. I was able to travel around the world because of the military but I had to pay for everything else. When I was a kid we lived paycheck to paycheck.

My mom did the best she could. I was on the road to doing the same things. But, I wanted a full life and realizing that I can get higher end or even lower end things does not mean I always have to have them. So, I say to myself, self do you want to buy that or do you want to put that into the trip account. Most of the time the trip account wins. Because I take two big trips every year. And I fill my life with social activities not always with my significant other or with things that cost money. I realize that I can use the money to get the best I can out of my life. Most of the time I do believe I deserve the very best.

Besides you have to be able to wear all the fierce clothes you have somewhere.

Blessings.

Classically Casual

Veteran

Can you pour your shopping/browsing energies into forming tangible plans for your trip?

If you have real dates and start to nail down your itinerary hopefully it will become part of your real vs. imaginary life. Also, if there's a way you can structure payments to take place over the time leading up to your departure,
that should serve as a shopping deterrent. Maybe set up a separate account for Australia funds too?

If it were me (I?), I'd need an alternative reward system too en lieu of shopping for the bad days that occur along the way.

Good luck! Travel is a very worthy goal.

Gigi

Veteran

Regarding what some people have said about setting up a separate account for your trip, that might be a good idea. Your bank might even be able to set the account up so that it automatically debits your checking account to fund it, in which case you won't even really see the money that much.

Vildy

Veteran

Is it possible that with the highly styled items you buy you are buying An Experience? If so, what do you learn if you take the last handful of items you bought and answer for yourself what experience you expected each to provide. (you have my sympathies because that's a picture of some amazing looking sweatshirt)

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Vildy's question is really interesting.

I'm on the train too, so I'm afraid I don't have many words of useful advice -- mostly just sympathy as I try unsuccessfully to curb my shopping impulses.

Lyn D.

Veteran

Have you tried '1 in 1 out' Anna?
I find this very useful because I know I have to purge if I buy something new.
I treat new items as 'replacements' now and this has slowed my purchases down.
I see an Aussie Meet-Up in the wings- YAY

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I'm definitely on that train ... but do I want to get off?

Gaylene

Veteran

OK, this sounds a bit weird but it helped me get my shopping urges under control last year. On a sheet of paper, I wrote the amount I wanted to save for something that was important to me. Every time I felt the urge to buy something, I forced myself to physically deduct the amount from that total. Seeing that money (imaginary though it was) slowly get dribbled away really put a damper on the thrill I got from adding something to my closet.

I also realized that I tend to buy stuff for my closet when I'm stuck in a routine where change is outside of my control. I start to feel bored, frustrated, and resentful. Buying something new is a way of distracting myself from those feelings and gives me the novelty that I'm craving. Realizing why I'm being lured into buying more stuff, along with seeing that total going down, really slowed down my shopping urges.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I love Ladywone's suggestion. And Gaylene, I think that's a great idea.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for all the insights.
I think I have a few distinct problems unique to me. Because I only need to wear real clothes a few days a week, each outfit is very memorable. Especially since they are also posted on my blog. So I don't really repeat.
But I'm also really good at remixing. I was helping a friend do a closet sort over the weekend. I was able to create at least three outfits from one leopard skirt. So I need to apply those remixing skills to my own closet.
Also there is the reward factor. When I'm on call I work hard, but I also get overtime. So I feel justified treating myself for all my hard work. I need to work on better or at least cheaper rewards.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Gaylene, that is a great idea.

Shopping is so emotional for me. It's no coincidence that I caved in a store today after having my mom on my mind a lot this morning and feeling her loss very acutely. I definitely use shopping to numb my more difficult emotions.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I think Gaylene's would work for me. I need to see literally how much spending on clothing is taking out of achieving my other goals.

I was gonna suggest getting pregnant! That seems to have curbed my appetite since I know I won't be able to wear anything nice for (at least) a year!

Joking, of course. (-:

ETA, you could also buy things like nail polish or lipstick - that stuff is cheaper but still feels like a new exciting treat.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Jenava, unless there's a divine intervention I'm not getting pregnant. Probably if my dating life was better I would be shopping less, sigh.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

It's as easy as setting yourself a monthly budget - for shopping and saving - and sticking to it.

Sara L.

Veteran

I just don't look. It's far easier not to buy stuff if you're not tempted.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Anna, I totally know what you mean. I put a picture of what I'm going to buy with that night's call money on my phone to keep me going. Sometimes a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Great suggestions so far. I don't do well with a cold turkey approach. If you budget a certain amount for a month to yes buy fancy things but stick to it, you can still shop but reject a lot because it is not The Fancy Thing you want this month.

MsMaven

Veteran

Oh my. Just think about Australia. Resist, resist--while I go back and have a second look at that "sweatshirt."

Jen W

I think that shopping, at least for me, is an easy rush. When you have a difficult job or are at a challenging point in life, shopping feels like a reward for getting through. It is also a way to express my creativity. So for me to slow down, I put aside a clothing budget in a separate account with its own debit card (annual or monthly), found a few more creative outlets, and now I'm trying to find my dopamine hits somewhere else. I also like to measure my savings visually and will create a goal thermometer that I color in each time I shift money over to savings for a particular goal. The visual really helps me, but you can look for clues to what motivates you in past goals you've achieved. Clearly you work very hard, so determination isn't an issue, it's just about trying to find new habits that get you closer to your goals. Good luck!

Neel

Veteran

Can I drive that *need new* train? :D. I would be the last to get off I know! Thank god I don't shop designer O_O

Well, there hasn't been a month in the last 3 years where I haven't bought anything new for myself! There you go ... Out in the open!

froggiebecky

Veteran

Anna, what if you tackled the Australia thing a little more? You say you want to go next year. When I visited before I moved, and general reports from my friends who have visited me, is that a 3-week trip runs in the neighbourhood of $5000, and that's fairly modest on the hotels, meals, etc, and doesn't include a proper shopping day or two, which could run another $1000-$2000.

Something that worked for me when I was wanting my trip was to buy one thing per pay period. It kept my motivation up, and made the sticker price of things not so bad when I actually got there. What if your treat for overtime were surfing lessons in Noosa instead of a sweatshirt? Or a ticket to a performance at the Sydney Opera instead of some shoes?
http://www.lagunaonhastingsstr.....-Heads.jpg

(P.S. Depending on what time of year you want to go, Qantas does fare sales in February, usually out of LA. I saved some $$ by catching one of those and booking my own domestic ticket there. That flight leaves at midnight, so it's not hard to make the connection)

Lucy

Veteran

I wouldn't say I' m an expert!

But two thoughts.
1. I'm in Sydney. That $450 would buy some really cool stuff in Sydney. Want to climb the Harbour Bridge - view of a lifetime? Spend some time on some of the best beaches in the world? Sail in the harbour? Go to the Opera in an awesome location? Eat some amazing seafood by the water? Etc. I'd set aside a separate account and put that money straight in there, for fun in Oz. It doesn't quite feel like you are missing out if you think of it in this way.

2. But you still need some treats. Some short term splurges. Some joy in life in the meantime! Why not set a budget of one cool thing per month, but no more than $200 (or some other amount). That way there is still some instant gratification but it doesn't eat into the bigger things you want.

But yep, this is all good on paper and harder to implement

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