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Shopping for Dresses is as Bad as Shopping for Pants

Amy

(website)

Veteran

I really would like to add to my dress collection, but O.M.G. I'm just not finding anything suitable. They're all too short or too casual (for me) or too...bazOOmy.

ARGH.

These are kind of funny, though!

1-2: pretty fabric, but it manages to make me look short. I'm not short.
3: Whoa Cleavage
4: More cleavage, which is obscured a bit by the camera angle and my hands. Really, anyone would get an eyeful
5: love the fabric. cute-ish design, but if I sat down...a whole lotta leg would be showing.

Now, I'm no prude and not aftraid to bare a bit of skin, but I can't do that in most of the places where I spend my time (kids' school, work, PTA...)

Where do you get grown-up, but not staid and boring dresses?

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Shopping

33 replies

Latest reply was from Irene

Jewell

Veteran

Can't answer your question- I'm here solely to commiserate! Almost every time I try on a dress I have to ask, who the heck are the people who can wear something this short, sheer, low cut, or (insert other adjective of choice) in their day to day life...Sooo frustrating!

Kari

Veteran

Amy, keep in mind that for me cleavage is a relative term (unless I'm a cru-neck or turtleneck I'm pretty much going to have *some* cleavage!) but I don't think the exposure is too bad on #3 for a social situation/date night, though I would want a higher neckline for work. That dress is my favorite of the bunch; I like the length and the colors are gorgeous.

(I'm loving the lighter hair color on you, BTW. Your eyes pop more than usual!)

What occasions are you looking for a dress for? Smart casual social occasions or MOTG wear? Work? Any upcoming events?

kellygirl

Veteran

LOL! You are such a good sport! I really love the colors of 3 and 4 on you. I can't offer any advice--I was battling some of my own dress/cleavage issues today!

Deborah

Veteran

Amy I here you but I have to say look great in #3, 4 & 5!

Kari

Veteran

I just posted about a wrap dress that I really liked here, but these are a couple other dresses I spotted that looked nice - keep in mind that I was also looking at dresses with longer sleeves.

I don't know if any of these will tickle your fancy, but just in case:
http://www.zappos.com/donna-mo.....ress-azure
http://www.zappos.com/donna-mo.....ress-multi
http://www.zappos.com/karen-ka.....tter-print
http://www.amazon.com/gp/produ.....PDKIKX0DER
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ni.....veforlater
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ha.....veforlater
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/do.....n=category
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/an.....n=category
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/su.....n=category
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/su.....n=category

Amy

(website)

Veteran

Thanks, ladies. Really, you'll have to trust me about 3. When I moved my arms, those flaps posing as a bodice would fall down. It's risking full frontal nudity, not just a bit of cleavage, lol.

Kari, I'm mostly looking for work. If I go out with my husband, the occasion is 99.999% of the time going to be casual.

Beth Ann

Veteran

So glad Kari is weighing in. She's a dress queen! I like 3 & 4 quite well, cleavage aside. Could you create a little "insert" in one of the tones of the dress for #3, and perhaps wear a cami with 4?

I know this experience well, Amy. Now imagine:
1. Being a singer and bowing onstage -- high above everyone so they can see up your skirt.
2. Being a Pastor's wife and flashing your gems.

Sigh. We should go into the dressmaking business.

BTW -- You're expressions are priceless!

Amy

(website)

Veteran

wow, Kari, you're awesome! I really like the green Anne Klein and the Suzi Chin. I'm just not good at shopping and am so glad I have friends like you to ask for advice!

P.S. I think my hair appears lighter because my gray is coming out again, lol. I need to see a hairdresser ASAP!

Echo

Veteran

I agree that a camisole or neckline insert could solve some potential issues. And hemlines are part of the reason I am REALLY embracing the "midi" trend. It is such a relief to be able to move around and sit or even bend to pick something up without exposing oneself! I am almost willing to forgive potentially less-than-flattering lengths just for the confidence a longer hem gives me.

FWIW, none of the dresses actually look bad on you. But I understand that a person has to feel good in order to look good.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Where are you looking? I like Eileen Fisher. Brilliant cuts, lovely fabric, wears well. I get mine off ebay but they sometimes have it at the rack.

Amy

(website)

Veteran

I've been looking everywhere, really, but don't know which brands might be more suitable to my style. Thanks for the tip, IK. I'm going to start looking there.

Meredith1953

Veteran

I love you in all these dresses but only you know if you are in danger of flashing your "mommies" so I'm glad Kari has some advice to offer. I don't know enough about dresses and anything with a vneck automatically gets a cami when I wear it!

Anonymous

These are so pretty! But not quite right, I agree. I am in the same boat when it comes to dresses. Please, just a little bit longer and higher cut? I have a long torso so in addition to being short on me, they seldom fit right in the waist. Ugh. Feelin' your pain. This is probably one situation where it makes more sense to design your own, since you're such an AMAzing seamstress!

DonnaF

Veteran

Amy, too bad you're *regular* in height. Since I'm 5' 1", I finally figured out that maybe I should seek out dresses in the *regular* section rather than *petites*. Ummm, but then they don't always hit me in the right places elsewhere.

I am now the proud owner of three (3!) dresses after basically going without for over a decade. When the third dress arrived earlier this week and DD said, "Mom, it looks like you," I figured out she said that because they were all: 1) sleeveless. 2) sheath dresses, 3) in a sort of blackish 4) zebra/animal/jungle print. The first was from Ross, the second from Nordstrom's, and the third was from Zappos which I notice also has the Nordstrom dress at full price. The Zappos dress is a petite, so I really need to decide if I want it a couple of inches above my knee or if I should get a regular size which might be too loose.

Soft, flowy fabrications have made me look frumpy my entire life which cuts out 90% of dresses for me. I've discovered that structure, ponte and linings are my friends. But the sheath thing is so much more constricting than wearing pants/jeans with flats!!! Adrianna Papell makes body con cocktail dresses that take off about ten pounds, but aren't really suitable for work or PTA.

Nordstroms and Zappos have free shipping, so I find them very convenient. I find it easiest to accumulate returns, then make one trip back to the store if it is Nordstroms, and one trip to UPS or just give them to my UPS guy.

sarah

Veteran

Love your expression in #1. But honestly, 4 looks good to me! I'm no help. I HATE dress shopping. Well, I actually hate ALL shopping, but that's my dirty little secret here on YLF.

anne

Veteran

I feel your frustration. However I don't think dresses could be quite as bad as the horribleness that is pants shopping.

I am small bust and not tall and I still have these problems. And like Claire, having a long torso means the waist is often not right.
For many months of the summer a cami is too hot to add to a dress.

Have you had a look at Shabby Apple? I have never had anything from there (being in Oz) but might be worth trying out.

Kari

Veteran

Amy, a couple others that I came across:

On my computer these look a bit more orangey (though not bright) than the red-coral dress I posted. Haven't seen them in person though.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/al.....n=category
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/la.....n=category

Amy

(website)

Veteran

Kari, I'm going to kidnap you and make you go shopping with me, lol. You're very good at this. I'm starting to add things to my shopping carts (yes, plural).

Claire, given more free time, I would absolutely sew every last dress and pair of pants for myself. I know how to make them fit. Unfortunately, it takes so dreadfully long now that I can only snatch a few minutes here and there to work on these projects. I'm impatient

Donna, thanks for sharing all of that! Very helpful.

Sarah--I don't like shopping either. There. I've admitted it. I do love fiber and fabric and style...but not the hard work that's shopping. I don't much like cooking either, but I like to eat good food. Someday, when I come into my millions, I'm going to have people who do all this for me and wash and wax my car too!

Anne, I haven't tried the Shabby Apple, but it looks interesting. Thanks for the suggestion!

Thanks all!

Kari

Veteran

Amy, I'd be more than happy to! That would be fun. Just don't let me buy any more dresses for ME, okay?

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Wow, Amy, I love your hair! You look really cute in #1 and #5, but I do agree they may be a bit short unless you want to wear capri leggings underneath? Coral leggings under #5 would be so cute! OK, maybe I've spent too much time dressing DD...

I love you in the coral color in #3. Have you looked at the orange-red J Crew origami dress that I bought? I think you would look so fab in it, and it doesn't have the cleavage problem...
http://www.jcrew.com/womens_ca...../43712.jsp

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rae

(website)

Veteran

You found some amazing prints! I'm a dress novice, but the other ladies have you sorted, it seems. Good hunting - and hey at least if nothing else you can glean inspiration to sew something up, right?

Kate

Veteran

All I can say is, colors love you. That cobalt blue shade is particularly gorgeous on you. I really do like #3, but will take your word about the dangers of full frontal nudity. I'm quite envious actually; if the top of my dress fell down, no one would blink an eye.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Arrgh. Cleavage dresses. What up with that? I have no office to dress for, no PTA, no church. Yet I don't want those cleavage dresses, they can look tacky. My solution, if I like the dress enough, is to wear a meant-to-peek cami bra. It means there are more dresses I can wear now. If you had one of those #4 would work, I like the simplicity, cut and color.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Amy, I laughed out loud at your expressions and the post. But I do feel your angst. Especially with the ever-so-pretty print of the last dress. And the so-close-yet-just-too-notched first one!

I don't know WHERE designers think our cleavage is, or whether they imagine people regularly wear specialty undergarments. The other day I tried on a pretty draped top that would have need to be fashion-taped to the top of my *tummy* to stay decent! AND it was a regular size, which would account for the extra depth on petite me... except for the fact that it was also barely grazing my hipbone in length! CAN"T imagine who it would fit correctly, or how.

Jjsloane

Veteran

I love your expression in the first photo.

I have the best luck with dresses at Lord & Taylor if you have one nearby (or online). They often have a rack of dresses that are marked down and coupons on top of that. Brands that work for me (I think we're similar height) are Jones NY, Ralph Lauren, Suzi Chin (I have to size up), Maggie London, Donna Ricco, Kenneth Cole, Michael Kors.
I've also had some success at Nordstrom Rack, but it can be hit or miss. Same brands there for me (except Jones). They also have racks of knit dresses by Max Studio that alone are casual, but with a jacket or cardi can be work appropriate.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Wow Kari - you've given Amy some fantastic options!

Amy, I agree that none of these are "the" dress for work. Although that coral beauty in #3 would be gorgeous for a date night with hubby if you needed (he probably wouldn't mind the "view" - lol!)

ironkurtin

Veteran

Amy, try on some EF dresses full price, and I can troll ebay for you. Here's her current collection:
http://www.eileenfisher.com/Ei.....cale=en_US

They are pricey but worth it, IMO, especially if you can find previous seasons marked down or gently used.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Amy --

Most days I'd take shopping for dresses over pants shopping, but I hear ya!

Question for you re length issues, since you say you're "not short": Have you tried ordering Talls from the places that carry them online (know Ann Taylor does, think Banana Republic might)? If the upper torso fit wasn't too off it might solve your length issue.

I love #3 and #4 on you. Most of the dresses I like for/on myself have deep Vs as well and I just wear a full slip with a plain straight across-neckline and/or tonal camisole under them. [Generally I buy $3 cheapies and cut them to bralette length vs buying the specialty products but I may cave.]

I have the energy to obsess about many things, but doing more than that for necklines isn't one of them, ha. Bonus of the slip solution is that it reduces the cling factor.

I must say in a world where time and money was no object for you I'd suggest you chop off the top of #1 and sew it to a solid black/charcoal/blue pencil skirt bottom. The print and colors are stunning on you!

Aside from that I know I've seen some Michael Kors (whatever his more discount line is) and Calvin Klein (ditto) dresses with higher necklines in places like Nordstrom/NRack and Marshalls/TJMaxx. Don't know if the length would work on you, though.

Classically Casual

Veteran

Amy - To followup on IK's comment re EF, Nordstrom carries a small EF collection too that has slightly different styles or colors than the EF stores. I haven't bought online from EF, but if you use Nordy's, all their usual policies apply. (I bought an EF dress from Nordies this spring for a college reunion...it's a beautiful color, packs well, is comfortable & machine washable. Also no cleavage issues and the length was at my knees.)

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