Sad times. Will be taking a short break. - YouLookFab Forum

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Sad times. Will be taking a short break.

Aziraphale

Veteran

We said goodbye to our beloved old dog today. 15 wonderful years. My heart is breaking.

And my mom is losing ground fast. Last week when I was over there for a visit, she could not seem to remember that she was in her own home, and kept asking me if I had various things, like tape and Tylenol. Yesterday she tried to answer the phone with the TV remote. Today we were over there again, freshly back from the final visit to the vet hospital, and she was convinced we had all come in from skiing, or were going off skiing. I'm going with her and dad to the brain clinic out at UBC next week, but what can they do? Her mind is going. I know full well it's a one-way ticket.

My brother and his family are supposed to be visiting from London in two weeks, but I just found out he is currently in the hospital being treated for a bleeding ulcer. Hopefully they can still come. Regardless, I have a busy month coming up, and likely won't be participating here much.

Sad and tired. Life gets you down sometimes.

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35 replies

Latest reply was from Scarlet

anne

Veteran

So sorry to hear all this!! Will miss you.

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. Take good care and please remember to be very gentle with yourself.

Louise

Veteran

What a rough time you're having (((hugs))) take care of yourself x

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I am so sorry for your loss Elisabeth, you really are being hit by all angles.

I have first hand experience of dementia and know how emotionally difficult it can be. I hope your Mum is properly assessed so that you may access some of the services which are available.

(for example Ben's grandad had a home helper come in the morning and evening to help change his grandma using a hoist. He later admitted the thing which was more valuable to him than the physical help was the adult conversation which was guaranteed twice a day)

You will be in my thoughts Elisabeth.

Raisin

Veteran

Oh no! Sorry to hear about your dog, that is sad. Dogs are such beloved friends.

Sorry about your mom too. I had a grandfather with dementia when I was younger, he dies young, and it was so sad and hard to watch. I do hope she can get some care, and make sure to take care of yourself too. Big hugs!

Claudia

Veteran

I am so, so sorry to read all this. Big hugs.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

Big hugs to you and your family. I hope that everything goes as smoothly and peacefully as possible.

missvee

Veteran

Oh that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. You were lucky to get your dog to 15 years. We always had big dogs, and 12 was the max for them. It's hard to say goodbye to an old friend.
Your mom 's situation is very worrying. I'm sure you have consulted doctors about her condition, but you're right, it's not going to be a happy outcome. Try to stay strong and healthy, and make sure you do something nice for yourself every day - even a short walk, a cup of tea, something simple just to boost your mood. You're in a marathon here, not a sprint.

Anonymous

You have my heartfelt sympathy all the way around. So sorry.

Anonymous

I am really sorry about you furry baby, it is really hard, I've been thru it, it is not easy. I am also sorry to hear about your family's heath issues too. Ah, these things seem to come in bundles. Take good care of yourself.

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

I'm so sorry for your loss and your troubles. I hope you'll find some help for your mother's condition, and that your brother's illness is over soon. Big hugs.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Hugs and prayers for you during these hard times. We lost our cocker spaniel, Jodie, a year and a half ago and it was/is so hard. Fifteen years is a nice, long life (our Jodie was 15, too); remember the good times.
Hopefully you can get some help for your mom. Stay strong and healthy yourself. There will be better days.

pil

Veteran

I'm so sorry about losing your buddy and your mom's troubles. We've been through both and it just stinks. Please try to take care of yourself.

Mochi

Veteran

So sorry that all this is coming down on you, not the least of which is the loss of your wonderful dog.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Elisabeth, I'm so sorry. This is a lot to be dealing with. No wonder you are feeling tired and worn out from it all. Please do your best to take care of yourself in your grief, and know that we will be thinking of you. We miss our animal companions so much. And as for your mother, there are few things more difficult to watch.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I'm sorry. Wishing you all the strength and fortitude.

Anonymous

So sorry to hear this, Elisabeth.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Ohhhh! I am SO sorry, Elisabeth. (((HUGS))). This is really rough. Words of comfort are futile when you loose a pet, and your parents or a family member is very sick. It's just so awful and heart breaking. Know that we are here if you need support in any way at all. Much love and strength. xo

Parsley

Veteran

I am so very sorry to hear about this, Elisabeth!
It sounds like life has been piling one trouble after another on you, and it has to be hard to take. I can only imagine how emotionally exhausting it must be to realize that your mother isn't doing well while you're just dealing with the loss of a beloved pet.

Wishing you strength to get through this difficult time.

Anonymous

I'm sorry, Elizabeth.

Deborah

Veteran

Elizabeth, I am sorry for your loss and for the challenges within your family. Take all the time you need and we will be thinking of you.

Debora

Veteran

Oh Elizabeth, it's so hard when all life's heartaches seem to come at once. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet.

A parent's mental decline is so difficult. You are doing the right thing by having her evaluated by a specialist. There are many things that can contribute to memory loss in the elderly, such as medications, or even a reaction to anesthesia from a recent surgery. I'm sure the neurologist will review her medications and do a thorough health history. Be sure to bring a current list of what she is taking, or the bottles themselves. It may also help to ask to a speak to a social worker who can steer you toward available senior services. You may be able to arrange for a caregiver to come in several hours a day to help out and give you and your dad a break. Even something as simple as Meals on Wheels and a hot lunch for her everyday can be a big help. I can't remember if you are in the US or Canada, but I'm thinking Canada may have similar services. There may even be Alzheimer's day care programs available, if needed.

A book you might find helpful is A Bittersweet Season, Caring for our Aging Parents and Ourselves by Jane Gross. A good friend recently gave me a copy and I'm reading it now.

Take care, Elizabeth, you're in my thoughts. Also sending good wishes to your brother. I hope he will be well enough to make the trip so you'll have the support of your sibling. Please feel free to PM me if I can help in any way.

Hugs!

Kalli

You will be missed.

Pets are amazing companions with short lived lives but will stay in our hearts forever.

I feel you about your mother. My father has Alzheimer's and is fading fast also. It saddens me.

Be strong, if you need anything just let us know. Sometimes just talking it over enough times is helpful.

Anonymous

Oh E, I am so, so sorry. How sad to lose your best friend and then be confronted by your Mum's mental frailty. You'll be in my thoughts for sure. We'll keep the home fires burning here for you.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Oh sweet Elizabeth - I'm so sorry for what you are going through. This is quite the double dose to deal with - losing your beloved furry family member and seeing your mother's mental health decline. Make sure you take care of yourself too as you will need your strength. Will be thinking of you.

catgirl

Veteran

Hugs to you - I know you have the strength to get through all of this, but it is HARD. Take care and check in when you need a break...

Marley

Veteran

Oh Elizabeth - I'm so sorry to hear this! Just one of these situations would be enough to break your heart - but both of them (plus your brother's health issues) must just be overwhelming. Please take care of yourself - and we'll be here when you feel up to coming "back!"

Lyn D.

Veteran

A tough time for sure!
I hope that you can find some excellent care for your D.M. so you won't have to worry about her future safety.
Thinking of you and your family.

Gaylene

Veteran

That's a lot to have to deal with, Elisabeth. Pets occupy such a special place in our hearts that it's hard to deal with losing them. And losing a parent slowly to dementia is such a painful way to have to say goodbye. I've gone through both, but, fortunately, not at the same time.

The best piece of advice that I received when dealing with my mother's dementia was from her doctor. He told me that it would be easier for both of us if we accepted that things were changing but that we could still enjoy our times together if I didn't get too caught up in regretting what was no longer possible. Dementia is a hard route to travel, but it's possible to keep a connection going for a very long time.

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