Relying on WIW. Need a break. - YouLookFab Forum

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Relying on WIW. Need a break.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I wonder if I need a YLF break.

It sounds kinda crazy, but I rely on my WIW every day to be able to have some type of social contact with people who aren't sick or part of the medical staff.

I enjoy sulking off and checking my WIW in the elevator (or sometimes the bathroom - haha) during my day because it's like, oh! Someone else likes something about me besides my ability to be empathetic or write a prescription for a medication that they want.

I don't blame anyone for this - but I don't think it's really healthy to have to rely on my WIW in this way, or place an undue onus on people in the forum to interact. I do notice that I am quite sad when there is no activity.

Thus, I think I need a YLF break. I think I'll still do my own documentation for my own records and things, and come back once things in my life have settled out a bit more.

Kinda burning out and need a break.

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31 replies

Latest reply was from

Caro in Oz

Veteran

In my experience the hardest lesson for "carers" to learn is to take care of themselves. Maybe you don't need to go cold turkey with YLF. Setting some limits on it & finding something else just for you like a relaxation class, a long walk or a meal with friends might be the way to go Take care.

Anonymous

Oh, Lyn, it sounds like you need a vacation or at least to plan one for the future. You probably need sleep and distraction from work. You are a beautiful, creative, and very intelligent young woman.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Hang in there. No one ever claimed residency was easy.

FlorenceFearne

I wonder if you need a YLF break specifically, or just a break in general. It sounds like you're in need of some nurturing and "me time." Maybe a mini vacation, if you can't take a real one? A day at the spa? Or even just a nice day out with friends who can make it clear that you're not just an empathetic prescription writer.

I think what you wore on any given day is the least of the things people love and appreciate about you. And if you need some time to recharge your batteries, we'll understand.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I certainly understand burnout -- and in caring professions the danger of depletion is particularly great.

Feel free to take a break from the WIW if it lightens your load, but I'd encourage you to ADD a couple of simple activities that put you in contact with people outside of the hospital every week. My faith community is one such contact, as are the 3 or 4 close friends I try to see at least once a month. An exercise class, activities at a local bookstore, a book club....all are low-investment ways to be with others. Do you have any hobbies (other than fashion) that you laid aside for your medical training? Can you take baby steps to reestablish any of these interests?

HelenInCanada

Veteran

Hi Lyn! I've been quietly perusing - okay, lurking! - the forums for a bit, but had to log on when I read your post! This makes me sad. You're such an inspirational person - hello, incredibly accomplished young DOCTOR! - not to mention very funny, personable, and super stylish. GREAT eye. Sharp mind. I check your WIWs among the first every day - and I'm so sorry I haven't been logging in to actually respond! Will try to get back into the swing of things - just been overwhelmed with mama-related things. And a few life transitions. Argh! Anyway, I truly hope you're feeling better, have gotten some rest, and are feeling confident in yourself and how much you offer, not just fashion-wise, but in life to so many people you help. Empathy is a gift, don't knock it! Most people cannot dream of having the skill and brains to do what you do, so be proud.

So many YLFers are here for you, lyn, no matter how much or how little you feel you want to contribute here on any given day. Keep that in mind despite the # of responses any particular post receives. You are a frequent poster, so even when I'm seeking you out, I often miss quite a bit of your posts! Don't take it personally. Your style is absolutely killer. If you want to share your outfit, it will be seen and admired, make no mistake. Thank you for the ideas and notes of grace & femininity, always.

Okay, fellow Canadian girl, deep breath - chin up. You are simply awesome, and you are adored!

It's 2AM here, so forgive me for muddled writing here. Just had to speak up!

Take care for now...

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

Lyn, you know what to do that is best for YOU. It is important to listen to that inner voice. Feedback from an online community feels great, but the most important for one's wellbeing is to have social activities with "real" people, like Beth Ann suggested. Do yo have any openings in your days for anything you like to do - exhibitions, hobbies, working out? Hanging out? We love your WIWs and I hope you don't need to quit on us. Maybe just removing the focus from yourself a little and look somewhere else a little more will be inspiring and relieving - not that you are self obsessed or anything, I'm only speaking of experience. Hugs!

Mona

Veteran

I whole heartedly agree with Beth Ann and Ingunn. Although, YLF is an important part of my morning ritual, I was feeling kind of the same way. Documenting my WIW's and posting them on the forum gives me immense pleasure but I found I was getting addicted to that and not in a good way. It takes a fair bit of time to take pics, post them and then have an active discussion on the forum which means you have to let go of some of other hobbies.
I enjoy YLF too much to quit it but I had to limit myself and it worked out fine. THere are times when I really want to participate in more discussions but I really have to prioritize my time.
In fall last year, I joined a running group and I can't begin to tell you how much happiness it has brought to my life. Do you think something like that would work for you?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Lyn, big hugs. Nodding along with all these responses. It sounds as if you need a genuine break, not just a YLF break, but cutting back a bit on YLF and adding in some real-time activities would be a great idea. I think I see an obstacle, though -- your hours lately are so all over the place that it becomes difficult to join a class or to do anything that involves regular commitment. And yet without that regular commitment it is tough to build or maintain relationships. So no wonder you are coming here for that. It makes total sense.

If what I've said rings true then maybe you could cut yourself some slack and recognize that if you are reaching out here, socially, it might be simply because your life does not allow you many outlets at the moment.

I do think it is good to moderate our involvement in any online "world" and balance it with real-world stuff. And also to get outdoors in the fresh air now and again!

Glory

Veteran

Lyn - hugs to you!!! Do what you feel is right for you. We are here supporting and cheering no matter what.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Oh Lyn I will miss seeing your posts - even if I don't comment regularly, I really enjoy seeing your lovely fashion and hearing about work once in a while. I think many of us share the need to have "friends" outside of our day to day lives. It seems harder once you are working hard and have sort of lost touch with friends from younger days or maybe just don't have time to get together after long days. I feel like I rely on YLF too in many ways to have that "sisterhood" interaction. Even if it is just a few fleeting comments.

If you change your mind (and we all do) I'll bet we won't bat an eye. I do hope you can get some needed time to have some fun.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Thanks ladies, I always have known that YLF has been a fantastic source of support for me.

In terms of taking vacation, unfortunately the Thanksgiving holiday for us Canadians is in the next request block and I am prepared to not get it off. Or if I am, be asked to swap for someone else who "has a family". I do feel very selfish when I hog these to myself.

I think I am in the wiw habit now, and it feels very strange to try to consciously not post one.

I will try to find an activity to add to my day. I have been asked to take on a lot of academic responsibilities for the medical students so we will see how that goes.

At least residency isn't forever. (Style is!!)

ManidipaM

Veteran

Nothing new to say that wiser heads haven't already said. Just wanted to say I love your style even if I can't always find time to comment on specific posts (I enjoy them on the blogpost mosaic!) And hence will miss it if you decide you do need the YLF break.

Irene

Veteran

I get where you are coming from, since I became 'addicted' to an on-line community many years ago. It is easy to fall into that pattern, especially if you are a person that enjoys a routine, which is my case. It doesn't help that you are so busy you don't have an opportunity to have a social life.

I would try really hard to go out whenever you can with friends and just have fun. Really, it's that simple. I don't feel the need to log in here when I'm just too busy doing something else (and having fun).

Diana

Veteran

I understand. I have felt like this myself at some points. Something you might want to consider doing is posting WIW only once a week, with all of your outfits in a single post. Do it over the weekend if you don't want to be obsessing over it at work.

I like the idea of finding other activities too. You know, I used to take myself to breakfast at nice coffee shops with a(n actual paper) book or even a journal (although I don't write much any more) and I miss it. Should start doing that again.

cobaltblue

Veteran

Lyn, wishing you rest and peace! You do work so hard and look beautiful all the while.

The upside here for me is that without seeing you looking fab every day, Anthro might not be charming as much money out of my pocket! Take care of yourself.

Kristin L

Veteran

If you feel that taking a break is what you need, then definitely go for it! Your health and well-being come first. I second what others have said. You sound kind of like I've felt lately (minus posting a lot of WIWs- I just haven't felt inspired by anything I've worn lately). I've just felt depressed and sick for so long that I realized if I didn't take a break, things wouldn't get better. I know you can't quite do that, but is there a way you can take a little time off? Would be easier to schedule it before or after your Thanksgiving?

I know you're in a completely different world than I am (residency vs academic), but you have to do/find something that gives you some joy or happiness.

Anonymous

Big hugs lyn! I had to chuckle about you sneaking off to check your WIW threads. It's not like you were taking a smoke break or sipping from a whiskey bottle, lol! I feel the same need for words of affirmation so I totally get that. It must be hard to be in a job where you are just giving, giving, giving all the time and not getting much in return. We will miss your fab style, and look forward to your return.

PS I also don't get to comment on everyone's WIW threads. If I have limited time, I look at them on the Wall and enjoy them that way. You always look SO nice, polished and pretty!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Another suggestion to find some exercise you like. The only thing that kept me sane this summer was hiking. Plus you can't check YLF out in the mountains because there is no cell phone signal.

Anonymous

You are so smart and empathetic. I'm sure you when you turn that empathy toward yourself you will find the right life balance. Big hugs.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I think I've pinned down the problem - I've been getting some negative feed back from my senior residents (and I think it's warranted, more like helpful and constructive things, but more around mistakes and things like this), but my staff have been giving me conflicting feedback, so I feel kinda muddled.

@ Caro - Enough said :3 I love eating out with friends! I asked a few of them to come and commiserate with me and we're going for sushi tomorrow at lunch!

@ Joy - I am hoping to go to Spain in September of 2014, so I bought a travel guide to hopefully encourage things along!

@ Anna - Oh boy, and whomever thought it was easy is a liar! Or has amnesia! LOL. I hit the gym pretty regularly, I enjoy it very much.

@ Florence - A spa day is a wonderful idea! Or at least a home spa day! Come to think of it, I have a new mud mask ... and a new candle ... spa night?

@ Beth Ann - I don't really have a lot of hobbies, even as a kid. I think I might pick up an intro to art class at the art gallery though - for $7 you can come and they have a new project every week to work on One of the patients was telling me about how much they enjoyed this, and I think I might go try it out tomorrow.

@ Helen - Missed you so much!!! :3 Glad to know that you are lurking, and hope that your life gets less busy so I can be selfish and see more of you!! Oi, I dunno what you're doing up at 2 am, but get sleep

@ Ingunn - There aren't really that many exhibitions around here, although I do enjoy going to them. One of my patients invited me to a book reading he is doing (he writes children's books about living with parents with mental illness) so I think I might go to do that this weekend.

@ Mona - I think I need to work on getting over my fear of people. It sounds kinda weird, but I really don't like seeing people outside of work. I feel a lot of anxiety in group situations, and like to generally be solitary. That being said, I used to be part of a cycling group which was both inclusionary and solitary. I'll look into it - and getting a bike again.

@ Suz - Does it count if I go on YLF while sitting on my porch?

@ Glory - Thanks for your support!! ((hugs!!))

@ Texstyle - Thanks for understanding; the nature of the sisterhood on YLF is so wonderful and supportive, I'd miss it terribly to let it go for a long period of time, I think.

@ Mandipia - Oh! The mosaic! I haven't checked that out in awhile Thanks!

@ Irene - I see patients who are "internet addicted" and it kind of scares me a little bit. Given they are mostly addicted to online gaming, and it's financially draining for them ... I guess Anthropologie is financially draining for me

@ Diana - What is an actual paper book? Just kidding! I think I own some of those somewhere ... somewhere ...

@ Cobaltblue - Maybe you and me both! Anthropologie might go bankrupt! HAHA.

@ Kristin - I will try to elbow myself in for a few days off here and there - it seems like the squeaky wheel gets the grease around here! I am just hoping that the quiet wheel is the one people want to stick to the wagon

@ Claire - Thanks for your understanding! I must say I have nodded in commiseration before when patients say they can't get out of the hospital for a smoke. I feel miserable if I can't get off the ward to check my YLF. :p

@ Ali - Thanks! Its hard to be empathetic towards yourself sometimes!

Carla

Veteran

Looks like you've got things sorted, and a plan. Take care of yourself lyn. The Spain trip in 2014 sounds awesome!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm going to miss your pretty frock style, Princess Fun & Flirty. xo

pil

Veteran

I hope you are able to recharge and refresh, though I'll miss your twirly skirted self and pee babies! Do I remember correctly that you play the piano - or am I thinking of someone else? If so, is there any way to pick that up again?

And stick to your guns about time at Thanksgiving - just because you don't "have a family" doesn't mean you don't need the break.

And Spain, how awesome! I've always wanted to go there.

HelenInCanada

Veteran

YAY! Charming & witty Lyn is back. As usual, some of your comments made me chuckle and/or laugh out loud! Good to see you're feeling better and that you have plans to balance things out in the near future. And SPAIN!!??!! Holy God, I am jealous. You go, girl.

Aw - yes I will try to conquer insomnia! At least 2AM is better than 4 AM! Lol.
((Hugs))

Adelfa

Veteran

Nothing to add, but I know (from experience of close friends) how hard it can be. Good for you for trying to take care of yourself.

deb

Veteran

All I can say is hang in there. Stress can be so overwhelming and finding a way to dig out can be difficult. Take care.

cheryl

Veteran

Just sending hugs and good vibes your way. I haven't had a much time lately to read and respond here at YLF but I always love your outfits and your stories!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Even though I'm not the best at posting replies to posts on the YLF forum these days, I wanted to be sure to let you know that I would miss your posts!!

I liked the suggestion to maybe post your outfits once a week - take the pics if you want to, and then post something once a week with the outfits you feel like sharing. That way, it can be a fun thing, and not something where you feel weird about checking in through the day. ***editing to add in here: I don't think there's anything wrong with posting and checking during the day at all.

That said, I get the impression that 'residency' is a real bear - and given this, I think you should be able to enjoy as much of your day as you can, without giving yourself a hard time for having fun online at YLF. It doesn't sound like you have a whole lot of time for other things given your schedule anyway, and if YLF makes you smile and gives a bit of a spark and a bright spot to your day, then maybe you shouldn't worry about it? Maybe it's actually a good thing?

Of course, I *am* being a bit selfish - because I love reading your posts - especially the commentary. You're a great writer and you make me smile! Great sense of humour and it totally shines in your posts. Fab style too

Meanwhile, the only thing I wanted to suggest is to find a way to spend some time in nature each and every day. Even if you don't feel like socializing, being outside helps so much. I can't explain it, but I think it's very important.

The good news is that from here on until about the end of October is a good time to spend at least an hour or more outdoors each and every day. Seeing the green trees turning into fall colours will help you feel more connected and at peace. Fresh air, sunshine, and time spent in nature will do you a world of good, I'm sure of it. It's not like you have to galavant around with some sort of whirlwind social life - no, not necessary and likely not all that do-able with the kind of schedule you have right now. Being outside? More important than you think - and I suspect it will help a whole lot. Even if you're just spending sometime on your deck or balcony late at night, with a mug of tea, staring up at the stars in the sky - this kind of time spent outside will rejuvenate, inspire and refresh you - promise!

Speaking of which, did you know there was such a thing called "Nature Deficit Disorder" ? It's a real thing! We need green, we need fresh air, the sky, the wind, the moon and the stars.

Maybe we don't always have tons of parties and social occasions to attend, but if we're cooped up, and working way too hard (sounds like you are) - the best prescription is more time outside.

Just some food for thought.

Take care, and I (selfishly) hope you keep posting - while also finding some time to spend outdoors to help inspire and rejuvenate your spirit during these extra-busy and challenging work days.

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