Marianna, I only met you for a short time, but I disagree! Maybe it was because you sort of "knew" us already, but you seemed exactly like your YLF online self in person.

But on the other hand, I get where you're coming from, because I think I am much more reserved irl than online. I use many written expressions that I would never, ever say in person (mostly as a way to replace things like vocal tone, inflection, etc). But then, sort of like Michelle, I am also more careful to tone down or qualify my written statements because they will be interpreted as words alone.

Melissa, I always feel really great meeting YLF ladies because I've had a chance to "meet" everyone online already. Makes me more comfortable. Not sure why! I'm not so great at making conversation with total strangers, but YLF ladies don't feel like strangers to me.

Out of all the YLF members I've met, I think Kim (queenie) sounds exactly the same in person as she does online! Cathy (cciele), and Rosie, too! Actually most of the ladies I've met seem the same in real life as they do on the forum!

I'm exactly the same as you Marianna. You could have been writing about me in your post. People *always* think I'm rude or cold...but I just gave up on convincing them otherwise. It's too stressful and taxing to constantly have to pretend and put on pretenses all the time.

"Michelle can confirm that I sound like a stuttering idiot on the phone!"
No she certainly can't, Marianna!! You don't stutter and you never sound like an idiot!
Your voice was a bit lower than I pictured, and you sound older and more poised than your age would suggest (I obviously based this on how I sounded at the same point, which was pretty flighty!! You've got none of that).

This is so interesting...I was just thinking the other day that my personality doesn't really come through here. I feel like I write in a very factual, business like way, not in a personal way. It would probably help if I had the opportunity to meet some of you ladies, in a way I feel like I know some of you just because your personalities DO come across. Maybe the whole concept of communicating on-line is so new to me, in fact this is the only online outlet l have, that I still am getting used to the whole thing...

Such a fascinating thread!

Taylor, you remind me of my paternal grandmother. Animated, effusive, polished. When she tells a story everyone is mesmerized - she's so wonderfully animated. I miss her.

Angie, I strongly suspect there's a bubbly almost-extrovert alongside my inner introvert.

I love using exclamation points online! All eleventy one of them !!!111!11!!!!!

Lisa, I also tend to frown when I don't mean it at all. Something about the muscles in my face. Weird, since naturally I'm a very smiley person (in fact I was teased about it as a kid).

Tarzy - LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Shana - I also wonder sometimes if people are holding back their negative comments.

Beth - Goats are my favorite! And I am with you--there are a world of options between sugar-coating and not mincing words. It's rather a pet peeve of mine at the moment due to non-YLF related reasons.

This has been a really interesting thread to read through. I am not surprised that an online community such as this attracts people who are shy or perhaps lack confidence IRL.

Me, I have to modify my "New Zealandness" in my everyday life, so I do here as well. I think that nationality does have a big part to play in your personaility and unless you have interacted with NZers previously, you may not get us! I have never been shy about meeting people, but I am shy at times about sharing my opinions - unless I feel like I know the subject well.

Criticism can be very hard for some people to take and also to give in a well meaning way. I have always been taught not to give a criticism unless I can also produce a solution.

Wow, fascinating! Hmmmmmm, difficult question......

I think that to a certain extent, I portray certain *aspects* of myself on here - I do love to giggle and I have a warped sense of humour. I can be an extrovert depending on the company I'm with and my husband says I can be very friendly and willing to "have a chat" with just about anyone. I can say that whilst I may not have a lot of confidence in my way of dress, I do have a lot of confidence in who I am.

Am I as light hearted and 'funny'/silly all the time in real life? No. In these past five years, I have been very personally affected by some incredibly personal tragedies and survived a natural disaster. These repeated, life changing experiences understandably changed me forever. I now view the world with wiser, battle-hardened, empathetic and more knowing eyes, spirit and soul than is portrayed in most of my light-hearted responses to posts on here.

I've been told several times that I write exactly as I talk. I hope that's a good thing, or at least an okay thing!

Like a few other people here, I tend to keep my sarcasm to myself when I'm online, though. It can be hilarious among old friends or when you've got the extra oomph that body language and tone of voice provide, but can come across as very blunt or uncaring when all you've got is text on a screen. So I keep it for in-person occasions.

What a fun thread! I don't know what to say, but I can tell you that I can hear Angie's voice in my head when I read her posts and forum comments. To me, Maya is completely charming and gentle and thoughtful, and by that I mean full of thought as well Maybe more assertive here than in real life? Hmmm. Not sure. Tanya is exactly as she sounds here, so fun to chat with, we talked the other day for a long time! Kristen too. She is just as funny in real life!

I'm not sure how my voice sounds here, but I do know that I get to talk about style here MUCH more than in real life. So the subject matter I talk about is much different. I feel lucky to have found a place with like-minded people who never tire of one of my favorite subjects!

Tara, I am completely dying over your comment. There is a book series for kids called Captain Underpants, and in one book an evil professor changes everyone's names, and as the reader you get your own name changed. My sons' new names were something like "Poopsie GerbilSniffer" and "Falafel GerbilSniffer" (same last names, natch!). I guess this is the boy version of your sparkly pony names

This is a great thread! I think a lot of your personalities come across far more than you think, in particular Tara, Maya, Laura and Taylor. OMG Tara, I have a "dark and gloomy" friend like you who is also a copywriter for tchotchke products you see in the back of magazines; she has to write all day about plates with Jesus prayer hands and guardian angel babies or Hummel figures, and I just laugh about the entire juxtaposition.

I have been writing online in journals and forums for years, and by now I am pretty sure most of my personality comes across in my posts. The only thing I dial back is how sarcastic I am in real life only because that doesn't translate well online. I have had to learn to soften that to a gentler humor, but trust me when you meet me it is much more cutting.

Also, you cannot hear my laugh online, and I have been told by many it is my most distinguishable characteristic.

I haven't yet read everyone else's comments. I like to think that I am pretty similar IRL as I am online. Of course there are differences between writing and speaking but how I write IRL is pretty similar to how I write on this forum I think. It is important to me to stay true to myself in as many aspects of my life as possible. On the other hand I don't post my real name or face on this forum. I am itching to post my photo. Unfortunately, I have some real life limitations that keep me from doing so. I have found that when I meet folks IRL from this forum, I am not at all surprised by them. San was a bit taller than I expected or other little things like that but overall, your personalities come through. And it's though I already know you.

I just read everyone else's posts and have to chime in once again. Marianna, you sound great on the phone! Maya, to me you come across as warm and human and fun loving and full of life. Beth, I ADORE that photo! Tarzy, it took me so long to name my kids, I should have just come to you for advice. Maybe I'll have to change my name on the fourm to Sihaya Sparkly Sillypants

Katiepea, there you are:) Your voice here is one that really stands out to me as you're so effusive and funny. It's good to hear you can retain that outlook after difficult times.

And Taylor reminds me of my mom: always polished with great hair:)

I was thinking more about this topic last night and I initially responded in the way I think Angie meant...the way we are online vs. the way we might appear at say, a YLF meetup. In that sense, I'm willing to bet I'd come across the same way. But those are still interactions with people who are much less familiar to me than people I spend time with every day.

IRL, I have a loud laugh, a ridiculous sense of humor that's not always PC and very definite opinions that I rarely hesitate to express. I'm loyal, occasionally neurotic, and impatient to a fault. I always have a lot to say (more than I should), but because I'm a slow typist, my online comments are usually surface-level only. I often seem aloof IRL because I have tunnel-vision and I'm often so engaged inside my head I forget to look outside it. I'm also perpetually running five minutes late. :O

I'm guessing I don't come across the same way here as I do IRL. First, I worry a lot more about sounding like a big dork when I post or comment here than I do IRL. I'm much more thoughtful about what I type than I am about what I say.
In my everyday life I'm loud, animated, generally very chatty and sociable.
Just yesterday I attended a reunion of my childhood softball team. I had not seen most of these women for 20+ years. While we were catching up, I shared that I have just started rehearsals for a play in which I have been cast. I spend a lot of time appearing on stage with our local theatres. One of the women piped up and said 'why are none of us surprised?' The looks on the faces of the other women confirmed this sentiment.
So I would say I come across here as a bit more reserved than I really am. Of course, I could be wrong.

Hmm, of the people I have met:

Angie is 100% the same way she is IRL as she is online. I described her to Lisa as a blonde Audrey Hepburn. Very elegant, bubbly, and sweet.

I think Tanya is the same too. Sweet and soft-spoken.

I haven't known Lisa for too long on the forum but I didn't see any noticeable differences. One thing I noticed is that she has an ageless way of speaking online. I know that sounds weird. Often I can guess how old someone is by how they type and what they talk about, but I had no idea how old Lisa was just by reading her posts.

I have not yet met Michelle (hopefully soon though!), but we have chatted on the phone. Since we both have a snarky side I think our conversation was much different than either of us come off on YLF. Not everyone can appreciate that side of me but she can!

Steph is pretty similar IRL and online. Pretty outgoing, kind, and very helpful as a shopping partner with gorgeous hair and magical feet!

Shana was more smiley than I expected! Good sense of humor too. Not that she is unusually dour online :p

Medusa seemed a lot softer and girlier than I expected (I hope that doesn't sound awful--read on first!). I always associated her style with being less frilly and feminine and more tailored/funky/androgynous, and I thought of her as being a rock climber and an outdoorsy person who preferred minimal fuss and ruffles. But there she was in bright pink cowl neck and a floral pin, although there were still funky andogynous elements like the waistcoat and oxfords. I loved that outfit!

Debora is exactly the same. She was our YLF cheerleader for the day. Very sweet and gentle.

April has a very quiet voice but is quite witty and funny. I'd say pretty similar to her forum self. And don't let her fool you. I was totally expecting to see a head of unruly, wacky hair when I met her, based on her own description. Instead I saw the most gorgeous glossy dark curls ever.

Laura is also 100% the same. Sweet, great insight, fabulous style, very articulate. I think I was there at the early stages of her frock obsession. That seems so long ago now. Sigh.

Marianne is pretty much how she describes herself, minus the inarticulate part. That would have never even occurred to me.

Am I missing anyone? I have yet to meet a YLFer with whom I haven't hit it off immediately!

It's so hard to know, really. There are so many different me's that it's difficult to know which shows up here. I think I'm more reserved on here than I am with my friends (who have been known to call me hyper and think it would be scary if I ever had caffeine) but more outgoing than I am in situations with people I don't know at all. I'm definitely less sarcastic on here because it really doesn't come across well online and I don't put my foot in my mouth nearly as often because I can read through my posts and see when it's coming out wrong before I hit that submit button (man, I wish I could do that in real life),.

ladies,

thanks for this thread...i read tons and tons of online journals. this is the only forum in which i have commented on, let alone actively participate. i'm a bit paranoid about people irl finding out.

in irl, definitely snarky and sarcastic and blunt. so much so that i consciously practice the "sandwich" method of criticism to junior team members until they get to know me or develop a thicker skin/stronger ego.

i think that participating in this forum is giving me a chance to practice a little frontal lobe editing. it also helps that i control the level of exposure to others. at work, i'm really not one for idle chitchat or whatever people do to grease the wheels of interaction. and although i do need some human interaction every few days, my cup is about the size of a thimble and at the end of the day, especially a meeting laden day, i can't bear to talk to anyone else, even my husband.

i sound positively curmudgeonly...but it's the only life i've got, so i thought i'd please myself rather than others. that said, there are people i genuinely enjoy being around, i laugh a lot mostly at the absurdities of daily living and i'm a loud laugher.

It IS hard to judge ourselves. But a little story about expecting others to be the same:

In the early nineties, before the internet really exploded, I worked for a small non profit and we sent material around the world. I'd include little notes and people ended up writing me back. One woman from the UK wrote me long, long wonderful letters about herself and her life. I wrote back too, shorter and less brilliantly. When we finally had the opportunity to meet at an event in England, she could barely speak to me. We sat at the same table and even my speaking to her seemed to make her very uncomfortable. So we sat together, enjoying our meal, quietly. I was so surprised but found it so interesting at the same time. She was a writer! Since then, I really don't expect print and face time to be the same. It's great if they are, but it's not a crime if they are not. it's ok.

I guess this is hard to relay on the internet but I am very easily amused

What a fantastic thread, love reading all your responses. And what a beautiful story, Judy, I know a few writers who are exactly like that.

It's not easy to determine how you come across to others, don't you think (either on or offline, unless you can ask someone directly)? I'm pretty much myself on YLF, although, as is the case with most of us, not all aspects of my personality come out as strongly.

I'm a little shy when I first meet people, feel a bit uncomfortable in large groups, am quite reserved, but at the same time I really love getting to know new people and am apparently very easy to talk to. A little contradictory, I know.

I'm also honest and won't lie quickly, but I don't like hurting people's feelings, so I try to be diplomatic when phrasing things.
I know what I want and am very enthusiastic about the things I love, projects I'm passionate about etc. and don't mind showing my excitement.
I think I have a somewhat darker sense of humour and a more sarcastic/misschievous side than one would expect from what I write here. Mostly because as a translator and copywriter, I'm very much aware of how quickly nuance is lost when you can only see words, no facial expressions etc. That's also why I tend to use a lot of exclamation points and smileys on the forum. English not being my mother tongue is another factor, I'm more long-winded when I write in English (sorry about that;-)

It's funny how so many people have mentioned they imagine how someone's voice will sound irl, I do that too. (I've been told I have quite a quiet voice for someone so tall).
That's the one thing that was different about you than I expected, Angie. Your voice. You speak with more inflection than I imagined, but it suits your personality to a T. Love it!

And after meeting Angie I can confirm that she is absolutely, 100% herself on and offline. She's vivacious, very caring, incredibly classy, honest, supportive and it's so obvious she loves life and people.

*hugs to Inge*. Thank you :0). And right back at ya! You are 100% the same online and off line. It's absurd to imagine that English is not a first language because you make it sound like it is. Flawless. You are so, so kind-hearted, genuine, warm, stylish, knowledgeable, empathetic and fun to be around. And very tall! That's why we yakked for 48 hours flat when we met in Belgium. You *are* extremely easy to talk to - a gift. People feel at ease in your presence immediately. I miss you :0(

Judy, great story. I have a few writer friends who are just like that. And friends who are extra extroverted and bubbly, but seem so introverted and serious in email.

Thanks to Michelle, Laura and Maya for your kind endorsements too.

Maya-You had me cracking up at your comments. I suppose it's because I'm a medical writer and therefore used to writing in a factual manner (all day long). Tee hee!

Beth, your picture with the goat is amazing. And I must say, you look sooo pretty in it.

I'm definitely a little bit more reserved online, just because I want to be careful with what I write. Add me to the group that suppresses their sarcastic sense of humor here, because of the whole not translating well to the internet issue.

What a fabulous thread!

I think the *me* you read here, is the me you get once you get close to me and I'm comfortable with you. You guys didn't have to deal with the awkwardness I feel when I first meet people!

I'm very much like Marianna and Maya until you get to know me - quiet, can appear cold/uptight/snobby etc..

Most people who know me well would say I'm very animated (and would have difficulty talking if you tied my hands together!), and I think that's why I love exclamation marks and smilies! I'm very light-hearted most of the time (I was way too serious for way too long, and am really enjoying life now), and I hope that it comes across that way...

I can't wait for October when I get to meet some of the fellow Aussies here - I'm quite sure we'll all be fairly similar to how we sound!

Just read Maya's post above, and would second everything she said about the YLFers who were in NYC with us. I would also add that Maya IRL among YLFers is not nearly as shy as she feels she is in other settings. She seems at ease and fully capable of organizing a day for relative strangers - pretty impressive.

I'm laughing at your comment about my hair, though, Maya, and will say that this is another difference between me IRL and my online persona: my online persona has glossy dark curls whereas the RL me has unruly, wacky hair.

OK April, I'm going to have to call you out on your hair! From your descriptions, I expected a cartoonish mop of crazy curls (like when characters stick their hands in an electric outlet). But in fact, your hair in real life was a sleek mass of absolutely gorgeous curls. I don't think anyone at our NYC meet-up would disagree. I think we have some hair dismorphia going on here....

Ooh, what an interesting thread. I had to make time to respond

IRL I am quite like my online persona, with a few differences. I am a lot more upbeat and extrovertish IRL than what come across when I post here.For some reason I feel compelled to give rambling explanations online, perhaps to make up for the lack of inflections and facial expressions. I am VERY expressive and use a good amount of inflection and talk too much in general - much like Katiepea's online persona. Even my hair stylist agrees For some reason I find it hard to put bubbly into words. I like being funny and have been told I have a great sense of humor. That is another side of me that I find hard to get across online. And you gals see more of my insecurities than the rest of the world does

I have a feeling I would get along famously with everyone of you ladies IRL. You are just too fabulous. I haven't met a single YLFer to date and I desperately hope to change that soon!! I am so envious of all you who got to meet up one way or the other. I had a chance to meet Khris once but unfortunately that didn't pan out

I have to agree with Maya and Shana about April's hair! It's gorgeous! I also agree with what Maya had to say about the NYC YLFers. Maya is very soft spoken, but friendly and articulate. She seemed completely at ease with all of us. Shana's wonderful personality and sense of humor had us laughing. April was witty and friendly. I wish she could have spent more time with us. Medusa surprised me, too. I also expected a more outdoorsy type and was surprised by her delicate features and girliness. She was so pretty in pink! I was especially surprised how petite everyone was IRL! Both my daughter and I remarked that we felt like giants next to this tiny group. it really was wonderful getting to meet fellow YLFers in real life. It's amazing how quickly we felt at ease together with our common bond.