Angie, you are the queen of tact, I think. You never fail to make your thoughts known, but in the best possible way. I've often read your remarks to all of us and appreciated your approach:)

I just tend to stick my foot, hand, whatever straight into my mouth and in an effort to clarify, just dig myself a bigger hole.

I think I mostly am. Any quiet/shy person will probably be a little less so when participating in an online forum and I am definitely a less talkative person. As for all the YLFers I've met in person-- Ana, Sarah, Tanya and San, I can definitely vouch for as being the same irl. I suspect that depending on how you participate, the real life person is to some degree more dimensional than the online person.

Tarzy, no! You just gave me the best laugh I've had all day. I think I want to change my user name to Cookie Crumble Sparklepants!!!

Tara, that's hilarious. I'm the same way but I'd love your job just for giggles. And My Little Ponies used to be my favorite toy as a child. I hope I get to hear more about this when I meet you.

Thank you for the kind endorsement Angie. I am 100% comfortable around you and other YLFers. You aren't strangers by any stretch.

Mac, I don't understand that either.

Sorry Beth, I spent the better part of my life in New Jersey and now in New York Maybe that explains things?

Maybe we need to ask Tarzy to give us all new usernames.

Then again, maybe not.

And Maya, my question wasn't necessarily directed towards anyone; it was mostly a question after watching you and Mac ruminate~

Oh and what about context? If you've met the person, you kind of know how to read their comments. That's the thing about the internet-- a person can simply be to the point and someone might take that as mean or short when a real life conversation would provide a lot more information.

This is a fascinating thread.
I think the way I present online is very representative of my true personality...in part. There are other facets of Michelle that simply don't make it through the filter I impose on my online interactions. I have a very sarcastic side that I pretty much check at the door when I post on something like YLF, because like others I find sarcasm can be misconstrued. I am also more likely to express my strong opinions in real life when the discussion can be tempered with things like vocal inflection, real-time reactions and responses, and the all-important sense of humour! I'm pretty direct, but have worked over the years at phrasing things diplomatically both in online and real-life situations. I also have a well-developed earthy/irreverant streak that would probably come as an initial surprise to the friends I met online first.
That said, I have also been told that I write very much how I talk, even down to my sometimes formal turn of phrase. I have few qualms about revealing some of my other personality traits in a forum like this, including my playful goofy side, my over-analytical nature/insecurities, my discomfort with conflict and my emotional nature.

More interesting reactions!

Really, Beth? I don't believe it! Online, you don't come across as someone who puts their foot in it at all. Quite the opposite! You are tactful and very supportive (Thanks for appreciating my tact. I try).

I don't think I do. Although I am quite inarticulate both in writing and in person, so there are some similarities. I am also very shy and introverted and it takes me a LONG time to get comfortable with people.
I second Angie's impression of how Maya comes across. It's very hard to picture Maya being offensive IRL

I try to be the same.

Like many others here, I tend to be shy and introverted, and once I'm comfortable and excited about something, I relax considerably and won't shut up (both offline and online). Really, will not shut up. So then I try to reign myself in, overdo it, and end up back in the shy and inarticulate place.

I've been told I can be too formal in writing (probably influenced by professional writing), so I compensate and sometimes go overly casual.

Angie and Maya, I really admire people who are both direct and tactful, and I believe you succeed at both.

Such an interesting question!

I like what Cookie said on page 1: "I would like to think so but how would you really know? "

I am VERY animated when I speak, so people are used to seeing my hands waving and facial expressions...those things don't come across. I also talk quickly, walk quickly, and always seem to be in a hurry. When I am happily excited I tend to speak a little louder than I should with lots of fluctuation....these things don't translate via the net.
Other than that, I type the way I speak:)

I use many more exclamation points in my writing on this site than I do in any other writing. (SO and I write to each other every morning, and my use of exclamation points in those notes is so rare that he actually comments when one appears...)

It's harder to convey a positive, supportive tone online without punctuation, emoticons, etc. Particularly when speaking to people who don't know the writer in real life and therefore have no context for interpreting her written words, it seems necessary to use more emphasis than might be used in other arenas.

I think I'm more low-key in real life.

April - I know what you mean. Exclamation points really do help. I'm not at all an "upbeat" person, but I use them to keep my e-mails from sounding too blunt.

However, in my work, when the little girls write to us, I sometimes fear that they will use up the entire world's worth of exclamation points in one e-mail. They love the exclamation point!!!!! Why use one when you can use ten?!!!!!!! Exclamation points rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also do not speak in exclamations. I'm so calm and under-enthused about everything that I think it really disturbs some people. My coworkers are all very bubbly and upbeat and exclamation point kind of people, and I frequently feel as though they're just standing and waiting for me to react the way they expect. When that doesn't happen they feel awkward.

LOL Tara!

I like this question a lot Angie.. this is the only blog I frequent and post on somewhat frequently, and I often feel like I do not come across in my posts the way I am trying to. So I guess I am saying in answer to your question is "I hope not..?"

Oh, goodness. You can actually hear the exclamations in my voice. I am overenthusiastic and an eternal optimist. It will be interesting if we all ever meet.:) I am sure I will be a bit hyper for you all:)

I suspect that I am somewhat drier on the internet than in real life - at least, when I've met internet friends in RL, the comment I most often get is "You're really funny!" (apparently not online, though).

Rose, you are cute. I hope you post more often.

Taylor, you TOTALLY come across online the way you describe yourself in person :0)

Lena, you don't come across as a shy person at all!

Michelle, you really do type the way you speak! Almost to the phrase - and I enjoy it.

Let me know if you have another impression, but I think I sound just the same online as I do in real life. I don't have a hidden side to me, and I'm not a deep, multi-layered person. I'm simple, upbeat, effusive, a little strict at times, and get on with it.

Well, I think there are similarities to how I come across online and how I come across in person. I can talk a blue streak when I get going IRL, so I would say that's similar (thinking about various long posts I have written here and there). My oldest friends know me as a good listener, and I'm not sure how that translates online.

The question reminds me of one online friend who has since become a friend IRL. Through our online mothers' board, I pictured her as a bubbly, vivacious tall blonde with a pert little nose and blue eyes. I had a very vivid picture of her in my head and a voice to go with it every time I read her posts. Was I surprised to finally see a picture of a dark-haired, petite Latina ~ but just as warm and bubbly as I had imagined. Her voice was so different in real life as well from the voice I had created for her in my head. I wasn't the only one who pictured her that way. As I said, we've since gone on to become friends IRL and have laughed over this.

Excellent question!

Since I am new here, I haven't posted much yet, but in real life I can be very guarded and measure my words carefully. I have been told that I can appear to be "standoffish". Something I am working on.

Since I've lurked here for a while, I have found you all to be very kind and great cheerleaders for each other. I feel very comfortable here and find myself opening up more that I thought I would!

I have a snarky, sarcastic, very dark side that i keep carefully guarded from YLF :p I suspect Michelle, Tara, and I would get on fantastically in person...

When Maya and I did speak in person, the conversation was much longer and more animated than I expected because of our shared snarky side.
Taylor, I'm like you. I have an animated voice and speak in exclamation points, so I use them liberally throughout my writing.
!! :p

Angie, I absolutely feel your online persona represents your real-life one, at least from what I can gather without a face-to-face meeting.

Anne (sparky), I also picture voices to go with people, and they're often wrong. I nailed Maya's, but was totally off on Marianna's for some reason.

What a fab thread. I would imagine that the way I come across and the way I am in real life are pretty similar, but there have been times before when people who had limited interactions with me had very different ideas about what I was like than what I would have guessed.

For example, when I was a sophomore in high school a friend told me that a lot of my classmates were intimidated by me. This surprised me in a big way - I was 5'3", looked almost exactly the same as I do now (but with longer hair), my uniform was jeans, sneaker, a t-shirt, and a fleece jacket or sweatshirt, and smiled and laughed a lot. I guess it was my studiousness that intimidated people... my friend never clarified why.

I am pretty blunt, but I certainly try not to be rude and only give an opinion when asked. And like several others I keep my sarcasm in check on YLF - it doesn't come across right in writing.

Very interesting thread. I do not think I come across the same way as I am in the real life. Very often I try to write a response, then re-read it, erase everything and give up. Well, I would never give up if talking
One of the reasons may be that English is not my native language and while I feel comfortable enough speaking it is still difficult to put it in writing for me.
Actually, this thread also raised another question for me: do other people see us the same way we see ourselves?:-)

Wow, tough question. I think I may come across as more reserved on the internet and not as open as I am in real life.

I am very quiet, reserved, timid, and insecure in real life. I've heard comments that people think I am "rude" or "stuck up" because I am not talkative. Online I think I am a bit more talkative and confident. I don't really initiate conversations or make friends easily in real life, but online it is easier for me to open up, be friendly, and make connections/relationships. I'm not really a social person at all, except online. I also MUCH prefer typing than talking. I am insecure about my speaking skills but more confident about my writing abilities, although sometimes I feel I *always* sound inarticulate.

Michelle, how did you imagine my voice would sound? Michelle can confirm that I sound like a stuttering idiot on the phone!

I would say mostly - I am a pretty talkative, extroverted person irl so there' definitely not a different persona I am trying to project in any way. Of course, I am concerned about my privacy so I am a bit more reserved about giving away too many details online. I also agree with the others in terms of the difficulty of conveying tone & inflection online. Oh and sarcasm too!!

Mac, I am definitely a person who usually tells it like it is and I appreciate the same level of honesty from those with whom I interact. The blunt truth works great for me since I often miss subtleties. Is it any wonder that I'm an engineer & most of my friends are guys???? However, I am finding that alot of people are not this way at all and that feelings are easily hurt sometimes by the most innocuous feedback. I am trying to learn to be more tactful and Angie sets a wonderful example. I do find it frustrating that people will sometimes ask for feedback on this board and no one wants to hurt anyone's feelings so instead of saying something, people will just not respond at all leaving the poster to wonder whether or not something looked bad or whether no one just wanted to read their thread (can you tell that this has happened to me?). I'd rather just hear that "no, that looks awful, don't ever wear it again" than be ignored!

I have no idea. I expect others could answer better than myself on a difference to in real life versus online persona. I know I tend to do better one on one than in a group. I try to be a good listener when someone else is talking. But I also always try to say something to show I am interested and engaged in the conversation. I have a pretty expressive face, so I try to remember to smile least I come across as angry or mean. (I guess my natural face is a little frown-ish for some reason)