Go Jussie! I totally agree. That's why I say these interests are so powerful. I totally understand why a woman may want a reconstruction of her breast/s after cancer surgery, but then the plastic surgeons could use that as an "in" for having all sorts of other procedures as well...sigh.

One quick memory, taking DS2, age10? 11? to buy a bathing suit. They were all board shorts. There was a similar age girl there shopping with her mother and horrified grandmother. The girls bikinis had almost no material.

I wish my body self esteem was higher. Growing up in LA with the blond surfer chic as the ideal did me no favors.
I know better, but the feelings...

Jussie, that is appalling!! No wonder you were upset!!

Angie -- I love what you said. Both/and (the gift of aging, I suspect?) We can be more enlightened/ aware and angry -- and yet also more peaceful in our hearts. It's a gift and what I hope is that those of us in our 40s and beyond can somehow transmit it to younger women in a way that they can receive it.

I was a vocal feminist from a young age -- was always speaking up and always being put down for it, as a teen -- there was little support among my social group. I was the voice of "women's lib," which is laughable because temperamentally I'm unsuited to activism. Meanwhile, internally, I absorbed the same sexist messages we've all imbibed to varying degrees, and thought less well of myself (and worried about VPL! -- among other things) as a result.

Jenni -- I think the combination of sexism and ageism is especially toxic. It is something those of us in our generation can perhaps do something to combat.

Barbara Diane, I totally understand. I still battle with body image. It was bad in my teens even as a cute young woman (love handles appeared, they were "fat"), got better with boyfriends then husband , got a bit worse after babies but reading " The Beauty Myth" was also in my head which helped. Got worse again at menopause around 10 years ago now along with some bullying which affected me very badly at that time.
So I'm with you... I know better, but the feelings are there. I am glad the younger woman who wrote the article got angry. I hope it helps her. I am angry for my daughters. They have done OK navigating it all but of course have insecurities, as must all young women. How could they not, living in this world?

Thanks for sharing! Powerful messages that make us ponder.

This maybe a tangent, but I’ve always wondered why girls gymnastic uniform is a leotard close to a bikini bottom (but long sleeves), when they have to do splits and all that... but men get to wear long pants?.!? Just because that’s been the “norm”? Glad to see more of the biker shorts length ones now...

In terms of appearance, as a mother to a young boy, I see that there is now a lot of pressure on young men to have a muscular physique.

I don't want women to be pressured to change themselves and feel that they need to have a breast enlargement but equally I think it is wrong for men to be told that they need to take steroids to be attractive. Has the world has gone mad?

Whilst this may be equality, I don't think this is the world that the feminists of last century were fighting for.

I agree Bijou, and with mtsofthemoon who noticed an increase in these messages aimed at men. My own son has been affected. He is 22 and has not used any steroids thank goodness but he and some friends clubbed together to buy some gym equipment which was in a friend's garage and is now in ours. I find it interesting that that is the sort of exercise they have all chosen to do since about 18/19. They all did sport when younger but not being top notch soccer players all gave it up leaving high school. He said it was for strength and also to look better. I mean he looked great already as a tall slim young man!
So unfortunately you will have to help your young son navigate all this. And I'm also not sure my son respects women as much as I would like, even though I tried to bring him and the girls up the same way. He and my husband are both quite hurt by advertising that shows men as stupid clueless creatures and complain that there would be a tremendous outcry if women were portrayed that way. Sadly that makes them less receptive to feminist messages, even although my husband in practice over 32 years of marriage has been the most feminist husband I could have wished with equal sharing of childcare and actually doing more cooking and cleaning than me. Which plays into FashIntern's point that we cannot separate what "we" want from society's pressures entirely. Even in bringing up my own son! And then my 25 year old daughter tells me I'm not a proper feminist for this or that reason, which amuses me. She may change her tune in another 25 years or so and see that I was the best feminist I could manage at the time

PS Janet and FashIntern, what is this Gilette ad you discuss? Unfamiliar to me here.

Thanks FashIntern. I had never seen it or heard of it until now. I loved the ad, which is perhaps predictable, but I see it as a little odd that a razor company should do it. Your fastcompany link goes back to the 9news article.I already disliked Piers Morgan.
I am not sure if my husband and son would like the ad, they might see it as sort of false I wonder but I am speculating. I'm not sure that I will show it to them. I do think they may resent a razor company telling them what to do.

Why VPL is so terrible and why women have to wear bikinis and not board shorts are just two of the gender expectation things that I never really understood. I do think there is a scary lack of individualism happening, but there is a backlash also. My daughters definitely seem to have a healthier self image than I did at their age, so there's that.

WOW. Thank you for the awfully wise, heartfelt and thought provoking comments.

Suz, you are SO right about the combination of sexism and ageism being toxic. It's never too late to start changing the way we think, especially when we are role models to the younger generation.

Jenni, I liked the Gilette ad too, but also wonder what my hubs will think. Like your hubs, he is very pro women's rights. More of a feminist than I am at times.

FashIntern, I agree with this: "I do think it is very easy and inaccurate to assume we can do things "for me" and not "for society", as if there were a clear, easy distinction, instead of recognizing that who we are as people is shaped at our very core by our social interactions".

I think it boils down to being honest and at peace with the decisions you make about changing, or not changing your appearance. You have to do it for the reasons that make sense to you. And not judge others negatively for the decisions they make if they are very different to yours.

I watched the Gilette ad yesterday - I liked it and did not find it offensive. I guess it was role modelling some situations - whether that is patronising or not to the many wonderful Dads. friends etc...

I will show it to the males of the household and see what they have to say!!

Sal, EXACTLY. Report back.

Bijou, my 19 year old nephew is into body building too - but he did play 1st Team rugby at school.

I don't know how I feel about men being bombarded with ways to "fix" the way they look. I'm happy about things being less sexist these days, but unhappy that the beauty, fashion and entertainment industry is preying on their insecurities too.

Wonderful video. We must get this message to our daughters, granddaughters and young students. That means allowing them...insisting on...daily times of silence so they can think and discover who they are. No music, no video games, no phone. Just silence to be able to hear the voice within, to meditate and think of their day, to discover their problems and so.utions, etc. think of the times you needed silence when you were a child. Perhaps you had a tree to climb or sit under, a garden to sit in and turn over rocks, etc. a place to consider problems and what to do, to unwind from the pressures of the day..
Sorry about the rant.

Joy, you mean the Gillette one? No harm showing it to girls, I suppose, but I really agree with the idea that girls and women all hear all about this all the time, just like we hear how to avoid being raped, and it's time for boys and men to hear about it too, and learn not to be leches and rapists. I like that the video's text makes it very clear that they don't think all men do those things, and they show simple ways that men can and some do interrupt offensive behaviors.

Joy, thanks for that perspective. I will be thinking of this with my children.

WOW ! Short and right on point. I LOVED it. Thank you Jenni.